by C. A. Harms
I wanted Luke to also have all the things he wanted out of life, even though it meant I may have to let go of the things I’d wished for. I couldn’t expect him to forget about his dreams so I could have mine. I loved him far too much to make him live a life of regret.
“Madelyn,” my father said, and I looked up to find him and my mother looking at me in concern. “Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath and dried my hands on a towel. “Do you mind if I take a break?” I asked my mother and she nodded, still looking at me with curious eyes. “I just need to go take care of something real fast that I forgot about.”
“Okay,” she added, stepping forward and placing her hand on my shoulder, “as long as you’re alright.”
“I will be,” I assured her as I hugged her tight and then hugged my father.
Within minutes I was driving down the old dirt lane toward the Rivers’ home. My heart raced at the idea of what I was about to do and what it would mean for me in the end. But it was something I had to do for Luke.
I parked behind Liam’s jeep and climbed out. My hands shook as I walked up the driveway toward the front door and heard the sound of children’s laughter just inside. Liam and his family were here too.
I paused before knocking and took a deep breath. Before I could move my hand forward, the door flew open and I stumbled back to avoid being hit in the face. A little boy barreled down the steps as Liam followed close behind.
“Oh damn, Maddy,” he said, reaching out to steady me. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I waved him off. “I’m fine, but you better get moving.” I pointed at the little guy, who was heading toward the grassy pasture. “He’s winning,” I added with a laugh as Liam looked toward his son.
“I swear that boy needed a leash,” he sighed before sprinting off, taking the steps two at a time.
“Madelyn.” I turned to find Judy standing in the doorway wearing a big smile. “How are you, sweetheart?” I loved Judy Rivers. She was always so welcoming, giving, and kind.
“I was hoping I could talk to you and Lewis,” I said, nervously toying with my keys.
“Is everything alright?” she asked, her smile fading.
“Yeah,” I assured her. “It’s about Luke’s offer from the University of Texas.”
Looking worried, she nodded as she held open the door, and I stepped inside.
Lewis walked into the living room as Judy led me toward the couch. “Madelyn,” he said with a smile, “what a nice surprise.”
Before I could respond, Judy said, “She came to talk about the offer Luke declined from the Longhorns.” She sounded worried and uneasy.
“I see,” he said as he directed me to have a seat.
I was so nervous that I honestly hadn’t thought this whole thing through, so before I knew it, I was rambling like a crazy person. “I know he turned it down and I can’t let him do that. It’ll be something he regrets and I know I’m part of the reason why he declined. He’d love that job and working here for Jeb is not how he wants to spend his life, we all know that. He isn’t meant to live a life like that. Luke had dreams, big dreams, and this may not be the exact dream he wished for, but it’s as close as he’ll get now. I can’t let him turn it down.”
I took a deep breath, my eyes clouded with unshed tears, as I looked up to find them smiling at me oddly, which only made me more nervous.
“I know why he loves you so much,” Lewis said as he took Judy’s hand. “You always had such a big heart, Maddy, and you always stood by his side. Even when the two of you lost touch, I know you still supported him.”
I did, though I’d never have admitted it then. I watched all his televised games and followed his stats online. “I wanted him to make it, even though we never talked. Luke was meant to do great things.” My heart ached with the confession. “He can’t let this pass him by.”
“He said he couldn’t leave you,” Judy said, and my tears fell.
I was responsible for holding him back.
“Do you have the information of the person that made the offer?” I asked.
Lewis smiled brightly. “I do.”
“Call them, and tell them he’s reconsidered and would like to discuss matters further.” I controlled my emotions as I sat a little taller and locked eyes with Lewis. “Let’s just hope they haven’t made the offer to someone else.”
“Are you sure?’ he asked and I nodded. “He may not be happy about this.”
“I’ll handle Lucas,” I assured him, and he stood and left the room.
“You know that taking this job will only give him half of what he wants out of life,” Judy said.
I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the ache growing inside me. “But staying does the same thing.”
“So where will this leave the two of you?”
I lifted my gaze and met her concerned one. “We’ll work it out,” I assured her, even though I wasn’t quite sure of that myself. I just knew this was the right thing to do. Lucas deserved this; he’d earned it. I couldn’t let him walk away from this offer just because he was afraid of leaving me.
Chapter 29
LUCAS
My leg bounced with irritation as I waited for the plane to touch down. Cutting my trip short was inevitable when I got the surprising phone call from Martin Morris, the director of the Longhorns. He wanted to tell me how happy he was to know I’d changed my mind and decided to accept his offer. I sat in my hotel room with my phone held tightly to my ear as he told me about the amazing package I’d be receiving.
A package I’d declined only three days ago.
Not only would I be getting more than triple what I make in a week working for Jeb, I was also get a condo just off campus and a signing bonus. The full benefits package sweetened the deal, especially because it included physical therapy for my shoulder and even my leg that still gave me issues at times.
But this package still left me without one important thing.
Madelyn.
I wanted to tell him there must be some mistake because I hadn’t changed my mind, but with each word he spoke, I found it hard to say no.
When Martin said he’d enjoyed the conversation with my father, my irritation spiked. So that’s who was responsible for this. I explained to Martin that I was in Arizona right now, and we ended the conversation with me agreeing to touch base when I was back in Texas, which led me to where I was now. I changed my ticket to return three days earlier than I’d planned, and before I boarded that late-night flight, I left my father a message telling him that he had some explaining to do.
Now it was a few minutes after eleven and I was about to land in Dallas. After that I still had an hour and half drive that I wasn’t looking forward to at this hour, but this was the earliest flight back I could get. The drive would also burn off some of my anger, which was a good thing.
My father knew why I turned the offer down. Hell, we’d talked for more than two hours about it. I couldn’t leave Madelyn again. She was my other half, my fucking happy place. My heart ached at the thought of not having her in my life, and life was about compromise and sacrifice.
***
The drive felt like it took twice the time it did, but I finally pulled the rental car into my parents’ driveway. The porch light and kitchen light were on, so I knew someone was awake. I didn’t grab my bag or take the keys out of the ignition before I jogged up the drive and to the front door. As I stepped inside I found my father waiting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands.
“After I got your message, I figured there was no point in going to bed,” he said with a shrug. “Sit down. I’ll get you a cup.” He stood and moved to the coffeepot, grabbing the mug on the counter near it.
“What are you doing, Dad?” I asked.
“Getting you a cup of coffee,” he replied, knowing damn well that wasn’t what I meant. When he turned back around and moved toward the table, he arched his brow, motioning for me to join him. “Have a seat.”
He placed the cup in the empty space at the end of the table before taking his seat again. He didn’t speak, and I realized we weren’t getting anywhere until I joined him.
I pulled out the chair, making it screech across the floor as I took a seat. “Now talk,” I told him and watched as he lifted his mug to his lips. I know he meant well, but this was my life, my choice. And I chose Madelyn.
“I made the call,” he told me what I already knew. “I told Martin you had reconsidered.”
“Why?” I interrupted, leaning forward and placing my hand in front of me on the table.
“Because Madelyn asked me to,” he confessed as he lifted his gaze to meet mine. Shocked, I blinked a few times, wondering if I’d heard him wrong. “She found out about the offer from her mother, who heard it from your mother. After that, Madelyn showed up here, where she bared her soul and asked me to make the call.”
I remained silent as I tried to decide what this meant. Was she saying she didn’t want us to be together? Had I viewed our relationship as something more than it was to her?
“Before you get all wired up and let your mind convince you of things that aren’t true, you need to know something,” he continued, and I looked up to meet his gaze. “She loves you. She wants more for you than working construction, Luke. She understands you, and her love for you is selfless.”
My throat burned as I tried to comprehend everything that had taken place over the last few hours.
“You need to talk to her,” my father added, and I nodded, agreeing. “You need to listen to her reasons and not assume that she did this because she doesn’t value what the two of you have.”
“Leaving town means leaving her,” I said, and the words made me feel weakened. “I can’t leave her.” The look in my father’s eyes as he stared back at me made me believe he understood. “I’m in love with Madelyn, and the idea of leaving Alvord is killing me. Because that would mean I’m choosing to leave her too, and I can’t choose that.”
“Talk to her,” he repeated.
“I will, but I already know her life is here,” I said, louder than I intended. “She has school and the farm. She has her friends, and we both know Madelyn never intended on leaving here.”
“You leaving doesn’t mean it’s the end for you two,” my father added and I laughed sarcastically.
“How could it not?” I said as I stood from the table and moved toward the front door.
I couldn’t wait until morning. I had to know now what her insisting that I go to Austin meant for us.
Alvord’s streets were deserted at this hour. Closed signs lit up the stores’ windows, and the pumps at the gas station glowed in the darkness. It would have been peaceful if I hadn’t been so stressed out.
After I pulled in to Madelyn’s driveway, this time I removed the keys from the rental’s ignition and pressed the Lock button on the door as I climbed out, instead of using the fob, which would have made the horn honk. I wasn’t quite ready to announce my arrival.
I sat on the bottom step that led up to her apartment, enjoying the night air and the silence. The last thing I wanted was to go up and beat on the door, all demanding and aggressive. That would only get me a door slammed in my face. I just needed some time to analyze my thoughts and get what I wanted to say together. Just last week she’d withdrawn from me thinking she wasn’t enough for me, and tonight I found out that she wanted me to move to Austin and take a job that would make returning to visit almost impossible, at least during football season.
This wasn’t where I’d thought we’d be when I got back from Arizona. I’d missed her from the moment I turned around to walk into the airport, leaving her standing there, watching me leave. I wanted to cancel my trip and stay with her then, because even the idea of a week away was too much. How the hell was I supposed to survive months at a time?
I’d declined the offer. I shouldn’t be sitting here rethinking a decision I’d already made. It was simple. Madelyn came first. Being with her meant more to me than anything else.
Still, coaching college football when I couldn’t play it myself would be an amazing experience. It would give me the sport I loved, but I’d lose the girl I was in love with.
Chapter 30
MADELYN
I woke as a light knock on my door echoed through my small apartment. As I looked over at the window next to the door, I saw a dark shadow lingering outside. At first I thought if I remained still and quiet, whoever was out there would leave, then the shadow twisted sideways and I realized it was Luke. That baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes, and the sling that held his right arm securely to his body gave him away.
I just wasn’t sure why he was standing on my porch instead of in Arizona where he should be.
I crawled from bed and didn’t even bother grabbing a robe to cover up as I walked to the door. I peeked through the side window to confirm that the person outside was in fact Luke before pulling open the door. When our eyes met, I could tell something was wrong.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “You’re supposed to be in Arizona.”
He stepped through the door and placed his hand on the side of my neck, pulling me into him. His lips covered mine and I melted against him, accepting his heated kiss. I moaned as I reached out to fist his shirt on each of his sides.
He carefully backed me into my apartment and closed the door behind us. We parted long enough for him to unhook the strap of his sling, allowing it to fall away from his body.
“Luke—”
He covered my mouth with his once more. “It’s okay,” he assured me, and against my better judgment, I let the worry pass.
When the backs of my legs bumped against the edge of my bed, he slowly bent over me, making me sit on the mattress. Entranced, I looked up at him as he reached behind his head with his good arm and lifted his shirt over his head, knocking his hat to the floor at his feet. As he undressed, we watched each other in silence. He unbuckled his pants and lowered them with his boxer briefs to the floor, then stepped out of them along with his boots. When he straightened up, I almost whimpered at the sight of his tall body and lean waist. The perfect V-shaped frame that led to his broad chest and even more impressive arms.
He moved toward me in the darkness as I allowed my gaze to roam over his perfect torso. Feeling the urge to touch him, I placed my hands on his chest as he lowered his body to the bed, taking mine with him. He applied most of his weight on his good arm as he let the other roam across my body.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispered before kissing me again. “So much,” he confessed, pulling out of the kiss for only a moment before kissing me again. I felt as if he didn’t want me to respond, only listen. Each time I tried to speak, he would only cover my mouth once more.
“I need you.” Kiss. “I’ll always need you.” Kiss. “Forever.” He pushed his hardness against me, gently rocking his hips into mine. “I won’t leave you,” he said, and his insistent tone shocked me. “I choose you.”
Chills covered my body as tears pooled in my eyes. I understood then why he was back.
He slipped his hand beneath the side of my panties and tugged them down and off my legs. Wasting no time, he positioned himself between my thighs and pushed his hips forward, filling me.
“I’ll always choose you,” he whispered against my ear before kissing my neck and moving his lips toward my jaw. The gentle way he rocked against me and his slow, agonizing movements made me shiver beneath him. When his eyes met mine, we just stared at one another as he moved inside me and my hips rocked against his.
“I love you,” he whispered in the darkness before he took in a ragged breath that nearly broke me. “Being without you is not an option.”
In that moment I understood the depth of his feelings for me, and that he, too, felt the pull to me that I’d experienced toward him for practically my entire life. I could hear the desperation and fear
in his voice and see the intensity in his eyes.
“I love you,” I whispered in return and he sagged against me. He tucked his face into the crease of my neck, and his breath was hot as he panted against my shoulder between each soft kiss. He continued to rock his hips steadily and gently as he hooked one of my legs over his hip. He slowly made love to me as if each movement would be his last. It broke my heart, knowing that tomorrow was undecided and we truly had no idea where it would lead us. But for now we would feel, we would love, and we would get lost in the physical and emotional connection we shared.
***
The sun was barely up as it peeked through the blinds that covered the few windows in my apartment. Lucas’s warm body was wrapped tightly around me from behind as I lay there staring off into space while remembering what we’d share only a few hours ago.
I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the day. We’d have to talk about what lay ahead, and I knew I would only face resistance—that Luke would assure me that he’d be fine staying here instead of going to Austin. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to fight it.
“Come with me.” His voice was husky as he whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes, fighting off the emotional reaction his words triggered. “That’s the only way I’ll accept the offer,” he continued, only making it harder for me to hold myself together. “You could finish school there. I can help pay for it.”
I turned in his arms and looked up at him. The sadness on his face nearly crushed me, and I closed my eyes, willing the tears to remain hidden.
“I couldn’t let you do that,” I said. “Besides, my dad relies on me, and so does the diner, at least until I finish school.”
