Rohan walked over joining us. “I heard it from Hunter.”
Tommy laughed from across the room. “Well, you can all kiss my ass because I heard it from Amari himself. Tommy, do you have those numbers on the ships we took down? Thanks. Amber’s having twins.”
I couldn’t help my smile. I hadn’t seen them to have these moments, but they were clearly excited. That made me warm inside.
Tommy walked over. “You saved her and my son. Thank you.”
I tapped his arm. “She says I’m favoring Ben.”
Quinn handed me a glass of water. “I told her that would get your goat. That’s the expression, right? It got you here. She knew you wouldn’t want to tonight, but you needed a good home cooked meal and to let us all fawn all over you.”
“What’s with the animal expressions? The goat. The fawn?” I loved poking at Quinn.
He grinned. “We have two children now. I’m working on being relatable.”
The door opened and Diana squealed. It was a funny sound that I wasn’t used to from her, but in the next second she had her arms around her mother. Melissa Alexander stood in the doorway, embracing her daughter. I caught my breath.
Did Melissa being back mean that…
Melissa pulled back from Diana. “Is Amber here? Yes, there you are.” She put out her hand. “Come with me.”
She wanted me? Why? Still, I stepped away from the crowd and walked toward her. I wasn’t sure I’d ever deny Melissa anything. She’d been such a powerhouse of a person when I was growing up.
I took her hand, and she squeezed it.
There were moments in life when I just knew someone was going to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. When my mother came into my bedroom on Mars Station and told me we had to leave immediately because they were sending off my sister. When my mother-in-law came into my bedroom after my disastrous wedding night. When Dane had figured out what caused me so much pain in my uterus.
And now.
Still, I let her lead me into the hall. Paloma grabbed my free hand and didn’t let go. She followed me out, squeezing my fingers. Whatever was going to happen, she didn’t leave me alone.
The Z Warriors filled the hall. Brenden had his arms crossed over his chest, meeting my eyes with lowered lids. The others didn’t look at me.
Kelton, my husbands’ cousin who ran things when they weren’t here, stood in the center. His eyes were red rimmed.
Okay. The buildup of this was too much. I dropped Melissa’s hand.
“Tell me.” I didn’t speak to her. I spoke to Kelton. They were the Z. They were here to deliver this message. I was going to let them do it.
I didn’t want to remember the sound of Melissa’s voice speaking the words I knew were about to come. I didn’t want to hear them again every time she spoke from now on.
Kelton bowed his head. “We chased Evander to the black hole.”
“And?” They weren’t all standing here to tell me that.
“They had a ship hidden in the hole. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was… practically invisible. Then it popped into existence as though it had always been there. That was tech the likes of which I have never seen. The battle was hard. They spit a substance into space. It was gray, it clogged up our radar, all of our systems went askew. No one could see anything. It was like firing into… a pot of stew. There were things everywhere and no one knew what to shoot at.”
I swallowed. “And?”
Paloma hadn’t let go of my hand. She squeezed me tighter. I didn’t know if I liked that she did that or if I wanted her to stop touching me immediately. Touch might be too much. I… I didn’t know.
Kelton continued. “Hunter figured it out. How to clear the stuff. He backtracked the engines, got them to shoot out particles that… well, it was brilliant.”
“Of course it was.” This was Hunter. “And he’s dead. That’s what you’re going to tell me. We don’t need this build up. Hunter is dead. Shane is dead. Amari is dead. In this battle where no one could see that Hunter solved, they still ended up dead.”
I shouted. I could practically hear my also dead mother-in-law in my head. Chen wives don’t scream at the Z. Well, this one did. This one did when they came to tell her that the loves of her life, who she’d had so little happy times with, who were supposed to be the fathers of her children—two of which she carried in her stomach—were dead.
Kelton dropped his head further. “The disguised ship fired and fired and fired. It tore the ships up. Then it took off to the Dark Planets. We found debris. Floating bodies. That is all that remains of the flag ship.”
I didn’t cry. That was funny. I wept so easily at things. I was a constant crier, and yet I had no tears. “You found their bodies in space? Whatever was left of them?”
He shook his head. “Not of your husbands, no. I believe there was nothing left to find.”
“Who did you find?” Why did I ask that? I didn’t even know.
Kelton lifted his eyes. “Woody. Josiah. Others I’m not sure that you knew.”
That was enough. They were my husbands’ guards. Their doctor. There couldn’t be a doubt. Wherever those men had been, my husbands were.
Melissa shook next to me. I could suddenly feel her vibrations through the air. She was exhausted. They’d flown all night to get here to tell me. All of these people had been in that battle and lived.
Amari. Hunter. Shane. They hadn’t.
I lifted my head. “This was hard to tell me.” My voice shook but no tears came. Still not a drop. “Thank you for delivering it so quickly.”
“Mrs. Chen.” Kelton lowered his head again.
I didn’t correct him. Why bother? I didn’t really care that I was a doctor. What did it matter? Brenden lifted his lids as though my failure to correct surprised him, but he didn’t say anything. Everyone waited for me to speak again.
“I don’t know if you gentlemen have heard but…” My mouth didn’t want to work. “B-b-but.” Damn it. Paloma pulled me against her, our sides touching. I had to get through this. “I’m going to have twin girls in about seven months. Master Shane visited and well, there will be babies. Maybe. I’m a very high r-r-risk pregnancy, which the Chens knew.”
Paloma kissed my cheek. “You don’t have to do this now.”
“I d-do.” I stepped away from her. I loved her, but I couldn’t be babied, not when I had to do this. “I will do everything in my power to have them.”
All the Z shifted, their heads rising for seconds at a time. Some of them had tears in their eyes.
“Amber.” Melissa sobbed and C.J. was suddenly there to put his arms around her. When had her husbands arrived?
I met Kelton’s gaze. “They’re the heirs, r-r-right? Does it matter that they’re girls?” I had never asked anyone this. If I was simply having them to give them over to the highest bidder then I would disappear in the middle of the night with them immediately. They were the Chen heirs. Their father and uncles would have seen to it if they lived.
Kelton nodded. “There is no rule that a woman can’t rule the Empire or that she can’t lead up the Z. Whichever one of them is born first will have that title. And her sister will have the roles of Hunter and Shane. Treasured, essential.”
“Then hold this place for them. We’re going to fix it. There will be something for them to inherit when they come of age.” I pointed at Brenden. “You’ll teach them how to be Z. That’s on you.”
He stepped toward me. “Amber… sorry, Dr. Chen. There are better people for that role.”
“No, by then it’ll be you.” I walked away. I was going to lose it. My hands shook, and I would not leave myself open to be discussed by the Z for the rest of my life for the way that I’d lost it now. My daughters had to rule here, they had to live here, they had to have a life. That meant that I would survive this. I would stay here in this place I once hated, and I would make this work.
I owed it to Amari. To Hunter. To Shane.
I would not run
again. Not even from their deaths.
I made it to my room and then threw myself down on the bed. My sister hadn’t chased me, and I appreciated that. She probably had to go deliver the news to the room. I curled my knees to my chest. I didn’t have a baby bump yet. No one could have told I was pregnant. And yet the heartbeats inside of me were what I had to focus on.
From this moment forward and always.
I hadn’t had happiness long. That was my own fault. I’d thrown it away without fighting for it. If I’d been then who I was now, I’d have put my finger in my husbands’ faces at a meal in front of their mother and demanded they make the beatings stop or I was leaving. Then maybe we’d have understood each other. Then, maybe I wouldn’t have been left with nothing but regret.
No, it wasn’t nothing but regret. I didn’t get a happy ending. Fine. Who really did in this universe? Even the happy couples in Paloma’s rooms suffered. We’d all just endured war.
A knock sounded. “Dr. Chen.” It was Brenden. “Matt and I are here. We’re not leaving. We’re not going to bother you, but we are here.”
I closed my eyes. Amari really had known who to assign me. The first tear struck, and I wiped it away. I had to think. I had to focus.
There would be happiness for the girls. There would be the future their father and uncles died for. Exploded in space.
I had to calm down before I made myself sick. I sat up. I had to breathe. I knew how to do that. I could meditate. I’d do it every damn day.
I closed my eyes. I breathed in through my nose and out my mouth. That was all I let myself do. I breathed. It was hard, but I did it. Eventually, when my hands tingled, I knew it was time to focus. This was when I’d have sent my love out to my husbands. They weren’t around to receive it anymore, but I did it anyway. Why not? I could send love out to the dead.
I loved them.
The feeling brushed over me. Shane first. Then Amari. Finally Hunter. What? That wasn’t possible. Of course, none of this was very likely to begin with. I’d probably always made up feeling their presences in my mind.
I was looking for what couldn’t be now.
I pushed back with my grief, with my sadness, with the gaping ache they’d left me with.
It was as though Shane’s hand touched my back. My eyes flew open. If I accepted the idea that I wasn’t crazy, then somehow I was feeling them. In the meditative state, I could touch them. They responded to me. They were incredibly powerful Z. They practically bent the air when they fought. Why wasn’t it possible?
They vibrated when they meditated. They’d been sure I had a connection like they did.
I’d sent love out, and I’d gotten it back.
And I didn’t believe in ghosts.
My husbands weren’t dead.
8 A Ship Called Malice
I stepped out of my bedroom. Brenden and Matt both jumped to their feet.
“Dr. Chen?” Brenden asked. “Is there something we can do for you?”
I nodded at them. “I need to speak to the Z. To Kelton. He’s in charge now? I’m going to speak to them, now. Please. By the water.” I wanted to see it, to hear the sound of it running.
Brenden nodded. “We’ll get them for you. And Dr. Chen, you’re in charge. You will be until the girls are old enough. That’ll be when they’re eighteen.”
I couldn’t even feel them yet and we already planned for them to be eighteen. Well, I was going to get back their father and their uncles. I didn’t have the slightest interest in leading. Amari was born for it, and he did it well. I’d get him back here to do it.
In the meantime, I nodded. I walked slowly to the water area, staring up at the waterfall. I put my hand in it to feel the cool water.
“Amber?” Melissa said my name, and I turned around to see her standing there next to my sister, Diana, and Waverly. They’d all come looking for me?
I put my hands on my hips. “I’m going to need you to believe me.”
Paloma took me in her arms. “About what?”
“About something that is going to seem so unbelievable I wouldn’t believe me. I need you… to extend me the benefit of the doubt beyond that which is reasonable.”
My sister furrowed her brow. “Why are you out? You should be lying down.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m right where I need to be.”
The Z entered the room, most of them with their heads down. This would go one of two ways. Either they would go along with this, or I was going to steal a ship and somehow find them myself. I had one path now, and it was clear to me.
When I spoke, it was to Kelton. “Months ago, Hunter taught me how to meditate. I’d never given much thought to the act before then. Breathing in. Breathing out. Whatever. But it was different with them. They could do things during meditation I’d never seen. It almost seemed like their whole bodies vibrated.”
Kelton nodded. “We can all manipulate energy. My cousins could do it better than most. I can do it a bit. All the Z can do it. Amazing you could see it. Most lay people can’t.”
“Yes, that was what Hunter said, too. He encouraged me to meditate.” I had to get through the background information of this. “I didn’t, but then after a while I did. It was very strange, and at first I thought I imagined it, but more and more I realized I didn’t. I can feel them when I meditate. I send them love and energy. They send it back.”
I turned my attention to my friends. “I realize this has to sound out there. But think of all the other things we do and where we go and how odd those things can seem to outsiders. The Zansi Warriors can do things that have over the years blown my mind and terrified me. I have come to respect the time and devotion of it. I may never fully understand it myself and that’s fine. I recognize that there’s a long, strong history here.”
I really hadn’t meant to go on this tangent, but now that I was doing it I might as well continue. “A proud, long history of things that are almost… unbelievable. The Z care about the Chens to a point of almost spiritual devotion. To the point that they were not happy when I appeared in the picture because of the threat I posed to everything. Outsiders… we don’t always understand. It got out of hand. My mother-in-law, she was not well and borderline evil. But I have grasped what they mean to the Z.”
“Dr. Chen.” Someone must have corrected Kelton about my title since the last time I’d spoken to him. “We all owe you an apology.”
I shook my head. “Don’t owe me an apology. Believe me now. They’re not dead. I’m not deluded. I’m not in shock. They are still alive. Somehow. Somewhere.”
“Amber,” Paloma spoke slowly. I fully expected her to argue. “I believe you and not because you asked me to. When they told me Tommy and Quinn were dead I could feel inside they weren’t. I knew they lived. I couldn’t accept otherwise. I believe you. Maybe it’s something we can do. In our family. Maybe we can somehow feel it. Deep inside of us.”
Melissa sighed. “We’re getting reports that there are captives. I don’t know how many or if it’s possible…”
There was the answer. “It is. Trust me. They’d have fought it, but if there was a way the Z on that ship could have arranged for my husbands to be saved, they’d have done it.”
Kelton crossed his arms over his chest. “Absolutely true. I believe you. Can you speak to them, Amber? Does it go that far?”
“I wish it did. No, it’s more like I can just feel them.”
“How do we find them? We know they’re alive.” Diana looked between us. “Do we just go to the Dark Planets and start looking? I’m up for that. But is there a more… strategic way we could go about this?”
They believed me. No one here had argued, no one acted like I didn’t know what I was talking about. I let out a breath I’d held. Okay. We’d get through this.
Waverly looked around. “What do they still want? They haven’t gone through the hole. There must be someone they still want here, a reason they went to the Dark Planets. I don’t believe it’s just to regroup
and try again. I mean, we must have cost them a huge amount in resources.”
Melissa rubbed her face. “I honestly don’t have the slightest idea what Peter Aron wants. He’s the current CEO. The person in charge keeps changing. We had the info on the last one and then that stopped being meaningful.”
My ears buzzed. “We do know. We don’t know why but we know what… sorry, who. We know who. They want Sienna MacKinnon. In fact, I bet they have my husbands because they think they know where she is. They really don’t.” Goosebumps broke out on my arms. “And we never wanted them to.”
That was what Ari had meant. Don’t tell them. Don’t let them know when I took her, don’t wake her, don’t let my husbands really know or understand anything about her. I put my hands on my knees. I had to breathe. Of course future Ari knew something would happen. The question was why. Was it important they not know because that would keep them alive or because some kind of future plan required them to die?
Well, fuck that second choice, and I didn’t believe that Ari would do that to me. He wouldn’t set me up to have them killed. That was ridiculous. I had to go with the latter. The best possible reasons for why this happened.
I hated time travel.
Paloma rubbed my back. “Maybe you should take a break.”
“No.” I stood fast. “I’m fine.”
Thomas stepped through the doorway, catching all of our attention. I hadn’t heard him come but I wasn’t surprised he would. Not if Paloma was here and shaken, as she must have been by what happened to me. “So they’re looking for Artemis. Let’s assume for a second that they know the ship and Sienna on it are in the Dark Planets, they head out there. That doesn’t help us. Blaze is in charge of that ship. He has Trenton. Two other Super Soldiers and Wade, who is quiet but motivated. We can’t find Artemis by just running out into the Dark Planets and looking. We’ll never find him. Blaze, as he demonstrated again and again over the last months, is a strategic genius. He isn’t going to let himself be found.”
Melissa whirled around. “We can find Artemis. We absolutely can. I… I can’t believe it, but I one hundred percent can find Artemis even if Blaze jumps the ship around the Dark Planets every ten minutes.”
Rising Tides Page 9
