There were people who wanted to help, but I’d locked them out. I knew Paloma would be there in a second, only she had her own babies, and other than her I was feeling very protective of who saw the girls. Maybe because their own father and uncles hadn’t yet.
A knock sounded. The third one that morning. Brenden and Matt were getting pushy. I thought they might think all of the baby screaming in here meant I was dead. Katie was having a particularly difficult morning.
I’d scanned her twice. There was nothing physically wrong with either of them. They gained weight. They ate. They were healthy. And angry at the world. Or maybe they just didn’t like the mother they’d been saddled with.
I shook my head. That kind of thinking wasn’t helpful.
I swung open the door. Brenden tilted his head to stare at me. “Chrissy says I have to pretty much demand you let me hold the baby so that you can take a shower. And eat something.”
I sighed. “Brenden, she’s just going to scream the whole time.”
“Fine, then she screams. That’s Katie, right?” He stepped inside. “Hard to tell from behind. They have the same hair color. I will let the Z heir scream at me for half an hour while you take a shower. I won’t drop her. I won’t…”
We were interrupted as two Z appeared next to him. They were the girls’ currently scheduled guards. One of them spoke. “I’ll hold Katie. She’s my charge, and I’m good with babies.”
I wanted to throw something. “I appreciate the help but…”
This time Brenden interrupted me. “We’re all family. Okay? The Z is family. It goes beyond family. I know you understand this. I know you can feel it. Their father is our family and more. You are, too. They are. And you are falling apart. Let me take her. You don’t know these two well enough yet. They’d lay down their lives, but you don’t know it yet and…”
All of this stopped as two more Z arrived. I gasped. They held up Hunter in their arms, who stumbled with them, eyes closed.
“What the hell?” I shouted, stepping outside.
“He’s stable. Dane says he can wake up at home. I think he thinks that might go better than having him rouse, pissed off, in the med bay, considering what happened with Amari,” the Z whose name was Cliff told me. “Bring him to his room?”
“Yes.” I moved aside. Why hadn’t Dane called me? Screaming baby on my shoulder, I grabbed my tablet. I hadn’t checked it in days. Dane had let me know the machine said Hunter was stable and he concurred.
“Dr. Chen.” The use of my title by Brenden startled me.
I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Master Hunter is back. I’m thinking we might have to all get back to the formal. Give me the baby. Before Josie wakes up. Sorry, Miss Josie, wakes up. Go see to Hunter. I won’t drop her.”
Katie’s guard objected again, but I passed her to Brenden, who didn’t drop her, as he promised he wouldn’t. She lifted her head to regard him for a second, stopping her cries, before she resumed them again.
She really was angry with the world. Brenden was right. We were family. Just some of us more distant than others. I trusted him with my daughters, but he was on the short list. My shoulder felt lighter, it had been a long time since I wasn’t carrying someone.
“She has to start trusting us, Brenden,” Katie’s guard objected. “You know it. I know it. And Master Hunter will want that.”
Brenden laughed. “These are her babies, Harry. She never thought she’d have them, went through hell to keep them, more pain when they were born, and she’s been essentially alone when you add it all up for years now. I’m not telling Dr. Chen who gets to hold them. Back off or I’ll have you removed. Yes, I can do that.”
I left the room, following Hunter. It was good to have friends. Hunter lay on the bed, his eyes closed. Cliff handed me a tablet, and I scanned Hunter’s vitals. They were good. He was just out cold. This was happening.
My hand shook as I passed it back to Cliff. I’d wanted this more than anything and now I didn’t know what to do.
“Amber, you have your hands full out there. Stan and I will stay until he rouses enough to eat and we’re sure he’s okay. No one expects you to do all of this alone.”
I nodded. “Give me a minute.”
Cliff backed off, Stan right by him. “We’ll be in the hall.”
“Thank you.”
I tiptoed toward Hunter. I probably didn’t need to be quiet. We’d just been talking loud enough that if he was going to really wake up he’d have done so. I smoothed the hair off his forehead. He was okay. A lump formed in my throat, and I tried to swallow through it.
He was home. Finally.
All I wanted to do in the world was curl up next to him, sleep, until he woke up, hold his body next to mine. Hopefully there would be time for that soon. So I kissed him as gently as I could. “Welcome home, Hunter. Thank you for keeping your promise.”
It was a rare moment that I had both girls breastfeeding at the same time but tonight they’d both wanted to together. I actually loved it because it meant they’d, hopefully, sleep a stretch at the same time.
Hunter hadn’t roused, and it was approaching midnight. That was normal. Somewhere in the back of my tired brain, I knew that. Maybe if the girls did actually sleep, I could lie down with him for a stretch. I’d ask the guards outside to stand next to their room and wake me in case I didn’t hear them cry.
I could do that. I could. I’d let them in that far.
What was wrong with me?
“I can do it.” Hunter’s voice echoed down the hall. “I appreciate the offer but I am fine. Where is she? I’m going alone.”
The tears started before he ever entered the room. Just seeing him stand in the doorway was such a gift. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t manage to form words.
He didn’t say anything either. What did he see? Me, a wreck with no shower since Katie had been crying so loud I couldn’t possibly leave her, looking like death warmed over, completely not knowing what the hell I was doing, crying on the couch?
My middle husband walked toward me, slowly. He sat down beside me, still having not said a word. “This much time has passed?”
I nodded, and he wiped the tears streaming down my face before he bent to kiss my tears.
“Who are these beauties?” Hunter cupped the back of Josie’s head. The girls were both basically asleep attached to my breasts.
I forced myself to speak. “This is J-Josie.” And there was the stutter. “And this is Katie. Josephine and Katherine.”
Hunter kissed my cheek. “Have you been alone?”
Leave it to Hunter to get to the heart of things. “Well, I’m never alone, right? The Z are very attentive.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Yes, I’ve been alone. Shane and Amari are alive, but still being treated. You woke up today. Sorry, yesterday. It’s been about eight months.”
Hunter winced. “I’m so sorry, my love.”
“No, don’t be sorry. You’re alive. That’s a big thank you from me. I love you. I’ve missed you…”
Katie cried out, and I sucked back my tears. “They’re not happy babies right now. Paloma says Benjamin wasn’t either for months but that doesn’t make it any easier, currently.”
“No, not when there are two of them.” He held out his hands. “I love you, too. I want to hear all your stories. That’s your expression, and I’m stealing it. Every one of your stories. Hand me one. If she’s done?”
Well, Katie had stopped sucking and wasn’t asleep. “She’s going to cry.”
“That’s okay.” I gently passed him Katie. She lifted her head to regard him like she had done with Brenden but didn’t follow the examination with a wail. Instead, they silently stared at each other. Hunter finally laid kisses all over her face.
He spoke to her softly. “I love you. We’re going to figure out how to be good to your mother, together. How I can help you get what you need and see to it that she starts t
o get what she needs, too.”
I detached sleeping Josie from me and laid her on my shoulder. Hunter put his arm around me, drawing me to him and I went, leaning my head against him. Katie nuzzled down on Hunter’s chest. This was happening. We were having a quiet moment and Hunter was here.
I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Hunter
It was Amber’s soft snore that alerted me that she’d conked out. I gently took Josie from her. I’d gone from never holding babies to having two on my chest in no time flat. The quieter of the two snuggled down, making a soft baby sound when she did. I was hooked. I loved them fiercely, and I adored their mother beyond reason.
I’d been in the darkest of places but coming home to them was like visiting the light. I never wanted to leave it. I kissed Katie’s head. My brothers needed to wake up and be fine. We were a family. They had to have this love, too. These girls and my woman were going to save us all.
I never cared if I was a father, I wanted to be like my uncles. They’d been so much more there for me than my own father, who only had eyes for Amari. These girls were going to know such unconditional love from me that Shane was going to accuse me of spoiling them. That was my goal. Spoil my girls. I looked at my gorgeous wife. The dark circles were evident under her eyes even in sleep.
I was going to spoil her, too. Soon, she would know what it meant to be a Chen wife. My love had yet to experience it. We’d promised her luxury and she just kept showing us she was made of steel and didn’t need it. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to give it to her anyway. Amber Chen was safe. I’d see to it with every cell in my body.
12 Reunited
Amber
I woke myself up snoring. I jerked awake, panic overtaking me. I’d fallen asleep with Josie on me. I never did that. It was too risky. Where was she? What was…
“Easy.” Hunter stroked my hair. “You’re okay.”
I rubbed my face. He had both girls on his chest, I must have been on his shoulder, and he was reading his tablet. Alertness tried and failed to grab me.
“Did you take the baby?”
He nodded. “When you drifted off.”
I shook my head, my hair falling in my eyes. “I never, ever do that. I don’t sleep with them on me.”
“I wasn’t worried about it.” Katie shifted slightly on him. “You wouldn’t have dropped her.”
His confidence in me went beyond my own. “I was snoring.”
He nodded slowly. “You do. We all love that sound. You know that. Go back to it.”
I had to think. “Hunter, you just woke up. You need rest and food, not to take care of me and the girls. Go back to bed.”
“I’m not tired. Cliff practically spoon fed me a protein bar when I woke. I’ve sent them home, but I suspect they’re just outside. And I’m reading through all the changes you’ve made here, which are smart and impressive, including this house. I’ve only seen two rooms, but it’s adorable. I’m not tired. I promise to wake you if I get to be. You should go lie down in your bed.”
My bed? “I haven’t seen it in six weeks. Seven, maybe.”
I watched as he digested this. “Go lie down in mine.”
Why weren’t the girls screaming? “How long was I snoring?”
He kissed my cheek, moving Josie just slightly when he did, then my other one. “Only about half-an-hour. Not enough. Go to bed. I’ve got this.”
I curled up against him. “I like it right here. This is not the welcome home I wanted to give you.”
“It’s exactly the one I would want. Trust me, I’m going to make love to you in the not too distant future. Even if we only have minutes. But right now? I want to sit here knowing you’re safe, the girls are safe, that I have all of you right here near me. You’re my family. They’re teeny tiny, and we’re bonding.”
They weren’t screaming on him. “They like you better than me.”
He shook his head. “No. I just don’t make milk for them so they figure I’m a good bed to stretch out on. I’m also not stressed, not alone, not trying to survive in utter terror that way. You’re amazing, and they love you. So do I. Go to sleep.”
He had been comfortable. I put my head back on his shoulder. “Sorry about the snoring.”
Katie’s cry woke me. I could tell which of them it was. Josie always started smaller, getting to hysterics while Kate dove right into hysterical and never looked back.
“Sorry.” I jumped to my feet and took her straight off of Hunter’s chest. She was a little wet and needed to be fed. Josie would be up any second and doing the same thing.
“Stop apologizing.” Hunter rose slowly, still holding Josie on his chest. “Is that how long she gives you? Two hours?”
I shrugged. “That’s a good stretch for her. Josie goes longer, which is nice, but then she wants to eat as Katie is done and screaming. So I get maybe half an hour if I’m lucky most of the time. They showed off for you with the two hours straight.”
Hunter’s whole face scrunched up. “How are you functioning?”
“Does this look like functioning to you?” I walked to Katie’s room, setting her down on the changing table. Her face was red. She was wet. Wow, did she hate being wet.
Hunter followed me. “It does, actually. But you can’t keep up like this. I’m going to help you. We’re going to work this out.”
“There’s nothing to work out. Babies scream for months, sometimes years. It’s just the nature of it.” I hoped I sounded calm because my husband, who just got home from eight months of medical care after being abused at the hands of Evander, did not need my hysterics. “I love them. I really do.” I wanted to make that clear. “I love them even though they’re so hard.”
He rubbed my back, staring down at Katie. “I know you do. That doesn’t mean you can’t say that this is difficult. You can love them and say it’s challenging. Like loving us.”
I looked over my shoulder as he winked at me, and I grinned. “You should give me Josie and go to bed. It has to be hitting you.”
He nodded. “It is, and I want to be alert when I am in charge of the kids. They look like you, you know. They’re beautiful.”
I took Josie from him as I finished with Katie. “They look like Chens. Both of them are basically different versions of Shane. They got my eye color, but they are all Chen.”
He shook his head. “Katie has your shape of face, that’s not Shane. And Josie, the expressions are yours. She lifts up her eyes really wide like you do. And that mouth is yours.”
Hunter was seeing things I wasn’t. I kissed him on the lips. “Get some sleep. Close the door. Put on the fan in your room, that’ll block the noise.”
“Okay.” He leaned over to kiss me. “I love you. I’m sorry. I’ll get up to speed, fast. I’ll help you. We’ll do this together.”
It was just nice to have him in the house.
“Hey.” Hunter’s voice startled me in the middle of feeding Josie. I glanced up. Once again, joy that he was home filled me. “Weren’t you going to sleep?”
“That was five hours ago.”
He tilted his head. “No, it wasn’t. Was it?” He joined me on the couch, rubbing my back. “When was the last time you got out of the house?”
“I went to see you guys in the med bay… I don’t know how long ago that was… but the girls were screaming, so we left quickly. I took them to see Ari there, too. He’s their pediatrician until he leaves. Then we’ll have to decide on someone else.” I might have been rambling.
He moved his hand, and ran it through my hair. “I wish it was warm enough to sit outside for a while in the sun.”
“You should go for a walk. Go ahead. Go enjoy yourself.”
He smirked at me. That Hunter smirk that was so adorable that also meant he found what I said ridiculous. It was possible to want to both kiss him and punch him. “I’m good here. I told Cliff to tell everyone I’d emerge in a couple of weeks. Kelton sent a message saying all is well. Amari broke out of the med machine?
”
“Oh, yes, the day I went into labor. That was very… startling.”
He shook his head. “How the fuck did he do that?”
“I really don’t know. He was basically sleep walking, but he was going to kill Dane. I talked him down, settled him, put him back in, and then my water broke.”
Hunter grinned. “My older brother has always been very intense.”
“Sure, because you aren’t intense at all?”
I loved when he laughed. It really was the best sound in the world.
I woke up with a hand on my back. I was on a bed I didn’t remember getting on. Hunter rolled me over to face him. “They’re both sleeping, and I should let you sleep, but I need to kiss you. Tell me to go away.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I want you to more than kiss me, my love.”
I hadn’t been with Hunter since before the war started. “I’m sorry. This is me being totally selfish. I…”
I stopped him by kissing him hard. He moaned against me, pressing me down on the bed with all of his weight on top of me. His mouth was warm and soft. I closed my eyes. I needed this as much as I did sleep. Maybe more. This would officially be Hunter coming home to me.
We tore at each other’s clothes. Not that I had much on. The constant need to be feeding the girls made a bra pointless. My t-shirt was all that covered my top. He stared down at my breasts, his eyes obviously taking in the changes that having the girls wrought on me.
Suddenly, I was self-conscious, insecurity making me soft inside. “I… I know I look…”
“Beautiful,” he whispered in my ear. “You look beautiful. Skin and bones, actually. I’m going to feed you. Take care of you while you take care of them. We’re going to do this, and when spring comes, it’ll all be easier.”
Sexier words were never spoken. We kissed until I couldn’t breathe from wanting him. There was a time limit to this that matched our frantic pace. Luxurious, no time limit sex wasn’t a reality right then.
Rising Tides Page 14
