by Stahl, Shey
Van, our body guard, came over, which made me happy. I felt like he was part of our family now and I wanted him to know he was. Since the incident with Darrin last fall, Van wasn’t more than a mile away from us at all times—it was reassuring.
Even though I was a little nervous about tonight, I loved having everyone together. I couldn’t remember the last time our entire family and friends were together, under the same roof—aside from the wedding. Any time you had family together it could be a good evening or a very bad evening where someone either got hurt, or the cops are called. I wouldn’t rule either one out just yet—it was still early.
After collecting more food, I sat back down beside Spencer. On the other side was Jameson with Logan across from me.
“What did you say, Spencer?” Nancy asked, her eyes glancing around the table apprehensively.
I had no idea what they were talking about.
“I told him to suck my dick. I wasn’t helping him.” Spencer replied. “It was a dumb idea from the start—he had no idea what he was talking about.”
Nancy gasped in horror and covered Lane’s ears as he was silently building his mashed potato volcano, his brow creased with determination.
“I didn’t mom. I didn’t do it.” Jameson told her in defense holding his arms in the air as if in capitulation. She looked somewhat relieved. “I told him to fuck off.” he finished.
Another gasp from Nancy as she once again, covered Lane’s ears. He must have heard though because his next move was holding out his hand to Jameson who handed over another dollar bill without thinking.
Spencer replied with something else and nudged my shoulder. I couldn’t understand him. There was so much goddamn food in his mouth, so I just shrugged. He popped another deviled egg in his mouth laughing.
“Well this is a lovely meal, Sway.” Jimi, Jameson’s dad, said with a smirk. “It’s a nice table too.”
I knew instantly where he was going with that statement as did my over-reactive quick tempered husband.
Jameson, who had been building his own mash potato volcano, looked at his dad next to him. “What the fu—” he stopped when he realized Lane was waiting for the slip. “...what did you say?”
“Darn it.” Lane laughed.
“I said this is a nice table you guys have.” Jimi’s voice laced with innuendo.
Jameson glanced over at me with suspicious eyes. “You...were they...no...” his eyes flickered back to Jimi who was grinning widely. “You have to be fucking kidding me!” he threw his wallet toward Lane and stalked away. “This is fucking bullshit!”
“What’s he so mad about?” Emma finally realized we were all gaping at Jimi and Nancy, who had long since turned a bright shade of red.
“Way to go, Jimi.” Charlie praised patting his back.
“What are they talking about?” Lucas asked. He’d been just as clueless as Emma had that we had just found out that Jimi and Nancy did the horizontal mambo on our dining room table since we humped on theirs once.
“Jameson’s mad because they did—” Logan began.
In a complete shit move, I kicked Logan under the table to get him to shut up. Yep, I resorted back to schoolyard survival with a six-year old. When he cried, I felt like a complete asshole...until he cackled and ran into the family room where Jameson had disappeared.
I had my reasoning for kicking Logan, the last thing we needed was for Lane to start asking questions. Lane was still innocent, give him a few years and Spencer would surely destroy that, but I refused to do it myself.
Once dinner was done and we’d moved on from the conversations of Nancy and Jimi on our table, Jameson returned to the kitchen. He’d been holed up in the family room playing video games with Lane and Justin, avoiding everyone else.
“You have some serious making up to do.” He said to me lifting my chin so he could press a kiss on my lips.
“Yes, yes, making up...” I placed the last plate in the dishwasher before closing the lid shut. “lots of making up.”
“That’s right.” He nodded walking back into the family room where Van was wrestling with the twins.
Van came in a few minutes later, breathless from the exertion. “Thanks so much for dinner Ms. Sway.” He threw an arm around my shoulder. “You sure can throw down a meal.” His other hand rubbed his belly leisurely. “I may need to move in now.”
“Thanks Van, did you get enough to eat?” Alley and I put the final touches on the desert buffet we’d created on the center island.
“Yes, definitely...” his gaze shifted as Alley carried the brownies over. “wow...look at that.” His eyes widened as he took in the sugar insanity.
Van quickly gathered a few brownies and other treats before making his way into the movie room.
Jameson snuck back into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulled me outside with him.
“Now,” his lips captured mine. “for that making up you have to do...” The cool winter air mixed with his warmth breath causing me to shiver as I melted into him.
Before Jameson could hold me to the making up, Charlie and Jimi stepped outside onto the patio with us, laughing like Cheech and Chong in the movie Up in Smoke. I was almost positive that was the movie playing in the movie room now as I thought about it.
“What’s wrong with them?” Jameson asked in a very melodramatic way running his hands through his hair stepping away from me.
I watched them for a moment and knew something was wrong.
“I have no clue.” Something was really bizarre about the way they were acting.
Jameson threw his hands up in the air, frustrated. “Really, there’s something wrong with them. They don’t usually act this way.”
“They’re on something.” I deduced after Charlie chuckled once, his pupils dilated to the point you couldn’t see the chocolate of his irises.
“Oh my god,” Jameson balked examining his dad’s behavior—who was currently peeing on the side of our house while Charlie laughed hysterically.
“They’re definitely on something.” Was my final assessment too.
“What though?”
“Jimi, were you out here with Charlie earlier tonight?” I asked him after he put his junk away. I had no desire to see my father-in-law’s camshaft.
“Yep!” Jimi replied with a grin slinging his arm around Charlie. At the same exact moment, they both turned toward one our palm trees as though it said their name.
“Oh my—”
Jameson groaned. “They’re fucking high, aren’t they?”
“Appears that way,” I answered with a giggle of my own. This was funny to me.
“Hey,” Charlie turned toward Jimi. “Do you think there’s any of that dip left?” he asked as Jimi helped him up the steps leading into the kitchen.
Jameson shook his head. “Could this night get any worse? I told you this was a bad idea, Sway.”
“Jameson.”
He turned sharply on his heel. “Don’t Jameson me and don’t give me that face.” He told me matter-of-factly. “Listen to me next time.”
“Jameson, shut up.” I shook my head slowly walking over to the patio table to pick up the beer bottles scattered around.
“Don’t tell me to shut up.”
“I just did.”
“Well...don’t”
“Are we really going to argue about this?” I spun around on my own heel to face him.
“Yes,” he began and then stopped when I looked up at him. “I’m going to get a beer.” He mumbled retreating.
He was right—this was a bad idea, maybe even a horrible idea. So far this evening Logan spilled fruit punch on our living room floor. Aiden had knocked over an entire carton of milk in the kitchen. Jimi and Nancy had at some point, had sex on our table. Spencer told Jameson to suck his dick, twice. Charlie and Jimi were high and currently enjoying the deserts laughing and Lane was making money off everyone and there potty mouths.
When I walked back into the kitchen where A
lley, Spencer, and Jameson were standing, I was met with Jimi and Charlie laughing uncontrollably.
“This is too funny,” Alley reached for the camera on the counter. “I have to get my camera.”
Jameson left the room while Alley took pictures. I had half the mind to lock myself in the bathroom the rest of the night.
Another hour later, Jameson finally returned with an armful of beer cans that I assumed he, Justin, and Tommy had drank. He shuffled through the kitchen, placing the beer cans in the recycling can, his shoulders slumped forward and a set scowl on his face, grumbling something no one could understood. The French doors leading out to the patio slammed behind him.
“What’s his problem?” Spencer asked walking in with Aiden.
“He just doesn’t like you guys...” I shrugged. “that’s all.”
“Did you know Dana is their neighbor?” Emma asked Alley, giggling. Just then, Jameson walked back inside, his cheeks flushed from the cool air or his annoyance.
“No shit?” Spencer laughed. “That’s awesome.”
“Fuck off.” Jameson told him and walked upstairs.
“Geez, what the hell is his problem?” Emma balked.
It was only Christmas Eve; just imagine tomorrow with all of us and presents involved. It may have been too much but it’d been a while since I laughed this much.
Lying there in bed, I realized I might have over done the whole “up on my feet” thing these last few days because now, as I lied there in bed, I was feeling it. My back was aching, I was cramping, my legs hurt and I had to pee, badly.
Since I was around twenty weeks pregnant, I’d been on restricted bed-rest due to pre-term labor. Being up on my feet wasn’t exactly what was allowed.
“Jameson...” I gently tried to push him off so I could go to the bathroom.
He wasn’t budging.
“Jameson, if you don’t get the hell off me I will piss myself in this bed. And not only is that gross, but you will then be lying in piss, so GET OFF!” I yelled trying to push him off again.
“Noooo...mom, it’s not my turn to where the bunny suite...”
What does he dream about?
I pushed him again.
“Grrr...”
Did he just growl at me?
Suddenly kneeing him in his timing gears was looking pretty fucking tempting as the adorable flailing spaz started kicking me in the bladder. And if you don’t know what timing gears are, they are gears bolted directly to the camshaft. And the camshaft, well, that was my word for a penis.
“JAMESON!” I yelled feeling the vibrations of my voice. I should feel bad that I just yelled at him but seriously, he was lying practically on top of me. I was eight months pregnant and have a baby pushing on my bladder. I understood he was tired after the Christmas Eve we had and we had to be at his parent’s early in the morning, but damn it, I needed to pee!
“Grr...need...sleeeppppeee.” He mumbled as he rolled away.
Once he rolled off, I didn’t have time to laugh at him; I was now starting to dribble pee down my thighs as I got out of bed.
As soon as I stood, I peed all over the carpet.
Shit that’s just embarrassing.
“Damn you Jameson...”
If he would have let me out of bed when I needed to go, this wouldn’t have happened.
I also couldn’t understand why pregnancy was so disgusting?
I mean, so far I haven’t seen anything good about it. People say pregnancy is beautiful but I think that is just a crock of shit. My ass is huge. My ankles look like they belong to shamoo or one of his distant relatives, I couldn’t sleep. And I was pretty sure I changed my underwear at least four times a day from the lack of bladder control. And let’s not forget about the lack of sex this last week because I honestly felt too damn fat to be even remotely interested in Jameson’s camshaft anywhere near my crankcase. After all, that camshaft is the reason I have all these problems. I used to be attached to him but now...I wanted to detach him.
While walking toward the bathroom, I was momentarily distracted by the fact that my thighs were rubbing together. Something I never noticed until now and yet another dislike to add to my “growing list”.
Jameson must have woke up to my grumbling, which I thought was internal but apparently, once again, was not.
“Sway, why did you pee on the floor?” He asked wiping his eyes to focus on me. I hadn’t realized what time it was but I glanced at the clock, it was only four am.
“Because you’re an asshole and wouldn’t get off me.” I snapped and waddled to the bathroom with a towel, slamming the door behind me.
He chuckled; fucking chuckled at my misery.
Jerk.
When I sat down on the toilet, more pee came out, and more and more. It was an endless flow of fluid, so I thought. I wondered if I had any body fluids left.
When I thought I was done, I started to get up. When I stood, my new underwear a gush came out but this time it appeared to be tinted pink. Confused about this, I reached for the baby book on the back of the toilet skimming through the pages. Quickly I found what I need since Emma tabbed the pages of labor for me.
I went through the checklist they had laid out for the signs of labor.
Back ache...check.
Cramps...check.
Discharge...check.
Sudden gush of fluids...double check.
Scared shitless...triple check.
Standing there reading the signs of labor, I began to realize I was now standing in yet another puddle of water and scared shitless.
“Oh Jameson,” I yelled from the bathroom as though I was calling a dog in from outside.
He didn’t answer.
If he thought he was sleeping through this, he was out of him damn mind. This was one shit storm I wasn’t handling alone.
Opening the door to our master bedroom, I tossed the book at his head, not caring at that point if it hurt him or not. Of course, it hits him in the back of the head with a thump.
“Oww...fuck Sway, why in the hell did you do that?” He asked rubbing his head and glaring. “That hurt.”
I must have looked rather hideous because when he looked at me, his mouth dropped open in shock.
There I was, with just a bra on standing in the doorway to our bathroom in a puddle of water. My hair probably looked like a haystack and I’m pretty sure my nipples were leaking again. I checked just to make sure...Yep, leaking.
Great, now I needed to change my bra too. I threw my arms up in the air once again, frustrated with my lack of body control.
“Mmm, since you’re up...” Jameson reached for me pulling me toward the bed after I put on a new pair of underwear. “you have some serious make-up sex to do.”
“My water broke.”
“I’ll get you a new one.” He said yanking me down. “Back to the make-up sex,”
“No, I’m serious. My water broke.”
“And I told you I’d get you a new one tomorrow. Get over here...” his expression of lust changed rather suddenly when he felt my lack of body control leaking on him. “Did you pee on me?”
“What are you?” I slapped him across the face. “I told you my water broke!”
“Well shit...” he took in my appearance again, comprehension flashed when I turned on the light and untangled myself from him. “Are you...?”
“Either that or I’ve peed my body weight in piss. Get your ass up!” I yelled walking over to the dresser to find some clothes to wear.
Jameson was rambling incoherently and pacing across the bedroom within minutes as he tried to find clothes to wear.
Briefly, I was distracted again by the sight of Jameson scrambling around the bedroom—naked.
Focus Sway, that’s why you sprung a leak in the first place.
About the Author:
Shey Stahl is the author of the Racing on the Edge Series. The series outlines the life of a racing family and their battles with being on top.
Released titles i
nclude Happy Hour and Black Flag.
