by J B Heller
He drops his forehead down to mine, “You’re killing me,” he murmurs, at the same time as his hips surge forward.
The feel of him sliding inside of me is amazing. A warm tingling feeling travels up my spine until my neck arches as a deep moan leaves my lips. “Hux,” I breathe as he pulls his hips back, leaving only his tip inside, then slowly pushes forward again.
My hands are on his back, holding him close to me, and I feel his body shudder with each torturously slow thrust.
I can’t help myself, I need to touch more of him. Sliding one of my hands down his muscular back I bite down on my bottom lip when I reach his full, taut arse. The muscles are held tight as he continues his rhythm and I squeeze, digging my nails in to his flesh.
“Jesus, El,” he groans, then his mouth is on my throat kissing, sucking, licking. “You feel so good, El. So, fucking good. This is a mistake, but I can’t stop. I can’t.”
Before I can chew him out for saying the most incredible sex I’ve had to date is a mistake, his mouth moves to mine and takes it in a deliciously deep kiss. My tongue glides against his in sync, like we’ve been doing this forever.
Hux pushes himself up on one arm, and looks down at me, “You are so beautiful, El. I don’t deserve you. But I can’t stay away,” he says and his hips increase their tempo. “You are my everything. My reason for being,” he breathes the words against my cheek.
My orgasm is building fast, and the faster he thrusts, the higher I climb. “Hux,” I whimper, “I’m—” then he slams his mouth down on mine again, swallowing up my cry as I come around his hard cock.
While I’m still coming down he pulls out and wraps a hand around his length, gliding his hand up and down his shaft as he comes all over his fist.
Laying in my bed staring at my ceiling I can’t believe how stupid I am. Goddamn it! Rolling to the side I slam my fist into the wall, trying to release some of my frustration with myself. The pain radiating through my hand gives me little satisfaction.
I’ve just made things a hundred time harder. All because I couldn’t control myself.
A part of me wants to cut myself some slack, I mean, how in the hell could I possibly have held myself back with the most beautiful girl in the entire universe laying beneath me, begging me to fuck her?
Then the rational side of me says I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be in that position with Eliza in the first place.
I meant it when I said it was a mistake. But I’ll be damned if it wasn’t the best mistake I’ve ever made. Sex has never felt like that before. Never felt so right, so satisfying, so euphoric. I only just managed to pull out before I came. I could have stayed buried inside of her for hours.
And with that thought another harsh reality slams into my chest. I wasn’t wearing a condom. What the hell had I been thinking? Simple- I wasn’t thinking, not with my head anyway.
I’m not stupid enough to think that Eliza will back down now and be content with just fooling around. Hell, I’m not stupid enough to think I will continue to be satisfied with it. I want in. Now that I’ve felt her tightness around me, I know I’ll never get enough of her.
And I only have two weeks left here.
Two short weeks.
Fuck.
Nothing can wipe the smile off my face. Not even BJ who’s been giving me weird looks all morning. By the time lunch comes I’m sick of him giving me crazy eyes and I decide to call him on it. Only before I get the chance, he walks towards me and grabs hold of my bicep, dragging me along with him as he goes.
“What the hell, BJ? Let me go,” I demand. Then I see Hux has caught sight of us and the look on his face speaks of the violence that’s about to go down if I don’t immediately defuse this situation. Hux is still far enough away that I have a chance to deal with it before he reaches us.
Yanking my arm out of BJ’s firm grasp, I glare at him, “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” I say as I shove his chest.
He tilts his head and the calculating gleam in his eyes freaks me out. “You’re fucking him, aren’t you? What, you feel sorry for the kid that not even a mother could love? Is that it? You fall for his sob story bullshit?”
He’s walked me back into a corner, and I can’t see Hux anymore, hell, I can’t see anyone behind BJ’s big frame as he hovers over me. I don’t let him see how his words are affecting me, instead I steel myself and clench my teeth. “Fuck you, BJ,” I seethe. “Not every girl wants you. Deal with it.”
A humourless laugh bubbles up his throat, “Yeah they do. Well, all except you. I can have any girl I want. And here you are, pretending you don’t want me. I’m over your hard to get act, Eliza.”
I snort so loud at his audacity that he actually rears back, “Hard to get? You are deluded, BJ. I humour you, that’s it. I didn’t want to bruise that ego of yours, but now I can see it really wouldn’t hurt. You need to be taken down a notch or two.”
“So, you’ve been playing me? You’re a dirty little slut. I bet you’ve been playing me and fucking him this whole time,” he says, disgust dripping from his tone.
And with that, I lose my shit. My knee slams up into his balls so hard I’m sure I’ve just lodged his testicles back up inside his arrogant body.
BJ drops to the ground at my feet, his face is red, as tears pour from his eyes and he gasps for breath. “Fu-ck-ing b-it-ch,” he stutters.
I step over him and begin walking away, then I change my mind and go back to his prone form curled into the foetal position, that at least twenty bystanders are gawking at, and crouch down beside his head, “Don’t speak to me ever again,” I tell him, then add, “You’ll be lucky if another girl touches you again after this.”
Everyone around is so focused on BJ that they don’t even notice when I walk past Hux who was leaning against a nearby building grinning at me, and take his hand, tugging him into an empty classroom behind me.
As soon as the door closes behind him, his hands are on my hips, spinning me around in his arms until I’m pressed against his hard body. “You just got even hotter,” he grins as he drops his head and takes my mouth in a feral kiss.
My hands slide up into his messy hair and grab hold as he hoists me up his hips and my legs wrap around his waist. Then he slams me against the door and I can feel how turned on he is. “You like it when I get violent, huh?” I smirk as I grind down against him.
One of his hands slides under my skirt, and he traces the edge of my panty line, “You have no idea how much,” he says as his thumb presses against my clit over my underwear and starts circling.
“Oh, I think I do,” I smile and his thumb stops circling, “Why’d you stop?”
He’s staring at me, and my smile fades, “Don’t do that,” he says. “I love that smile. That smile is mine, all mine.” Then he licks my bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. Two fingers slip inside my panties, and inside of me, pumping in and out, then swirling around my g-spot.
Hux swallows up my moans as I get closer and closer to coming on his hand. “Hux,” I pant between kisses.
“That’s it, El, come for me,” he groans against my mouth.
And I do.
She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, inside and out. But seeing her take BJ to the ground, she became the hottest thing I’d ever seen too.
This girl, I will never find another like her. Not in this lifetime.
I wanted to fuck her in that classroom today. But that would be totally irresponsible. Not that fingering her was much different. She makes the same sexy noises with my fingers inside her as she does when it’s my dick sliding in and out of her.
Now I’m shovelling out a new garden bed with sweat dripping down my back, and instead of focusing on the task at hand, I’m thinking about Eliza’s sweet little body. Digging the shovel in I lean against it and try get my head straight before I screw up the dimensions.
“You alright?” Johnno asks me.
I lift my face to see him, “Yeah, I’m good. Just
distracted.”
He grins and nods at me, “Distracted by that sweet little piece waiting over by the curb?” he asks, bouncing his brows like an idiot.
I chuckle, “Yeah.”
“Good, I’m glad to see you acting like a normal teenager for once in your life. I haven’t seen you smile this much in all the years I’ve known you. It suits you,” he tells me with a wink, then says, “Go, you can finish this up tomorrow.”
“You sure?” I ask, not wanting to run out on a job half done.
“Yes, now fuck off.” He waves me off and goes to chew out his other labourers who haven’t been pulling their weight.
I’m filthy, but I’ve stopped worrying about dirtying up Eliza’s car as much as I used to. She always has a towel over my seat waiting for me. And we’re never in it long anyway.
Swinging open my door, I greet her as I throw my pack on the floor, “Hey, Princess,” I say, then lean over to kiss her cheek.
She beams at me, “Hey, lover,” then she bursts out laughing.
I roll my eyes, “You’re a regular comedian,” but my smile takes the bite out of my words.
She’s still laughing when she pulls away from the curb.
It’s moments like this that I’ll miss the most. When Eliza is smiling, and carefree. When we’re just enjoying being in each other’s company and the thought of leaving her is as far from my mind as it can be. I reach over and rest my hand on her thigh as she drives. Contentment fills my chest for the briefest of moments. Because this right here, is another one of those rare moments of beauty.
My attempts at studying for my final exams are not going well. Especially since Eliza volunteered to be my study partner. I can’t focus for shit when she’s near me.
“This isn’t working,” I groan.
She lifts her eyes to mine, “What? What’s wrong? Am I asking the wrong questions?”
I shake my head, “No, the questions are right, but I can’t think straight with you sitting there looking all beautiful.”
Her face lights up, “I have an idea!”
I chuckle at her enthusiasm, “Yeah, what’s that?”
She clears her throat and straightens her shoulders, “Every answer you get right, I’ll remove an item of clothing.” Her eyes are shining with mischief, and lust.
I’m about to tell her that it’s a stupid idea when I realise, she might actually be onto something. “Alright, I’m game,” I tell her, and she claps excitedly. I shake my head, “You’re such a kinky little thing,” I chuckle.
Nodding, she moves around in front of me until she’s sitting with her legs folded beneath her, and my study guide in her lap. “Okay, first question- Clay soil forms a fairly effective barrier against the movements of water. It also swells and shrinks significantly as its water content changes. Sandy soil, in contrast, allows water to move freely and does not change shape as the water content varies. In which statement is the appropriate soil selected for its intended site?
A. Clay soil would work well in a drain field.
B. Clay soil would be a good foundation for a large building.
C. Clay soil would form a good liner if a person built a pond. Or,
D. A sandy lake bottom would prevent water from seeping out of the lake.”
She’s looking at me, waiting for my answer and I frown, “That’s the question? Seriously? That’s easy, C, obviously.”
Eliza grins and takes the hem of her shirt in her hands and pulls it up and over her head. “Next!” she says while flicking the pages to find a different question, “Okay, A cook decides to recover some table salt that has been completely dissolved in water. Which of the following processes would be the most effective method of extracting salt from the solution?
A. Spinning the solution in a mixer.
B. Boiling away the water.
C. Pouring the solution through cloth.
D. Dripping the solution through a paper filter. Or,
E. Bubbling oxygen through the solution.”
Rolling my eyes, I answer, “B. Spinning would do nothing, dissolved salt would go straight through a cloth or a paper filter, and bubbling oxygen through it wouldn’t do a damn thing,” I say.
“Well aren’t we a smartarse,” she says with a smirk.
I waggle my brows, “Only when it comes to getting you naked,” I grin and she removes her sneakers and socks, making me frown.
She laughs, “I’ve not got much to remove, you’re lucky I counted the shoes and socks as one question not four.”
By the time she’s down to her bra and panties, I’m done with studying for today, unless its studying her body. I lean forward and take the book out of her hands and place it on top of my pack, then pull my camera out, “Don’t move,” I instruct and she raises a brow.
“Who’s the kinky one now,” she teases.
I swallow hard as I focus my lens on her. Everything about her is made for me. Her waist that my palms fit around perfectly, her eyes that shine only for me, her lips that call to me even without her words, and her heart that is so pure it could love a waste of space like me.
She starts crawling towards me, the look in her eyes questioning, “I don’t like it when you look at me like that,” she whispers, “I know that look, Hux, you’re thinking you’re not good enough, you’re thinking you don’t deserve to be with me, you’re wrong.”
She’s right in front of my lens now, and she reaches up, taking my camera out of my hands and places it gently on the grass beside my pack. I can’t take my eyes off her, she’s . . . she’s everything.
When her eyes come back to mine, they’re imploring, “Hux, you are worthy,” she reaches for my cheek, “you are good enough,” her thumb skims my bottom lip, “you are mine,” she says with finality before closing the small distance between our mouths and sliding her tongue along the crease of my lips until I open for her.
As soon as her tongue touches mine, I take back control, and wrap my hands around her waist, pulling her into my lap so she straddles me.
Neither of us speak again, knowing this is a subject that we have no choice but to agree to disagree on.
Watching Eliza come is my favourite thing in the world. It’s more than a moment of beauty, so much more, because I made it happen. It’s because of me. And nothing has ever felt better than that.
Eliza drives all the way down my street and parks out the front of my house and I look at her with a raised brow, “You know which one is mine.”
She glances down, refusing to make eye contact with me, “It’s because of your dad isn’t it, that you don’t want me to come inside?” she asks softly.
A lump forms in my throat and my hands curl into fists on my knees. I close my eyes, and drop my head back on the headrest. I can feel her eyes on me now, and I wish I was invisible again.
“Hux,” she whispers, “he’s the reason you’re leaving, isn’t he?”
My jaw tenses, I don’t want to talk to her about this. I’ve managed to go eighteen years without having to talk to anyone about my relationship with my father, or lack thereof.
Her small hand rests atop one of my clenched fists gently, her fingertips tracing soft swirls on my wrist, and I begin to relax a little. Her touch has a calming effect on me I’ve never felt before and I try to swallow past the lump still clogging my throat.
“He’s the reason you had a black eye that day at the stream,” she continues.
My stomach churns with each statement she makes.
I don’t want her to see the ugly side of life. To see my life.
She is the only good, pure, and beautiful thing I have, and my very existence is a tarnish on her perfection.
I don’t answer her, instead I turn my face toward the window and reach for my pack on the floor between my feet at the same time I open my door with my free hand and get out of the car.
Throwing my pack over my shoulder, I start toward my house without a backward glance.
Until I hear her door slam closed, then she
’s behind me wrapping her arms around my middle from behind. “Fuck him!” she sobs into my back and I can’t move.
All my emotions compound in that moment and I take us both by surprise when I spin around and pick her up by the waist, and drop my mouth to hers, “I fucking love you, Eliza Quinn,” I murmur against her tear dampened lips, then I kiss her with everything I have.
She sobs into my mouth as she wraps her legs around my waists and kisses me back with as much intensity as I do her. “I love you more,” she whispers as she presses her forehead to mine.
The enormity of her words reach my very soul, and my legs give out, dropping me to my knees on the grass of my front lawn. No one has ever said they love me, no one.
I don’t know where the time has gone. There is now only one week left until my final exam.
One week left with Eliza.
One week until I leave.
A few months ago, I couldn’t wait for this. A few months ago, I was desperate for it. Now all I can seem to think about is trying to somehow squeeze more time out of what little I have left.
I’m pissed with myself for letting this happen. For allowing myself to become so consumed with Eliza that I’m actually reconsidering my plan. I keep having to remind myself why I need to leave.
I need to get away from him. I need to start over, start fresh. And he deserves some peace too. I’d hate me too, if I was him. I want to hate him right back. But I can’t. I understand his hatred. I feel it for myself as much as he feels it towards me. I ruined his life.
My existence stole the only piece of happiness he ever had. I deserve his spite.
Dad never really had much of a life before my Mum. How do I know this? Because he told me so in more than one of his drunken rants. Both his parents died in a car accident when he was in his early teens, he was too old to be adopted, so he was bounced around the foster system for the next few years.
