Crazy Sexy Love (A Dirty Dicks Novel)

by K. L. Grayson

  Now Lucifer, he’s a different story. Accepting that bonus ride was purely selfish. They doubled the offer—making it something they knew I wouldn’t turn down—but this time it’s about more than the money. It’s a chance at a rematch, a chance to prove I can conquer that bull. And I will conquer him. This time I won’t walk away injured. I’ll walk away with a hundred thousand dollars in my pocket.

  That’s enough to buy Mo the ring she deserves and have plenty left over for a honeymoon—that is, if she chooses to stay with me. And I really need to her to choose me. I need her to choose us.

  But before she can do that, I think she has to choose herself. Her life hasn’t been easy, and for the first time in a long time, she has the opportunity to make choices about a future she thought she’d lost. She just has to be brave enough to do it. And I will support her and make sure she follows her heart wherever it leads, even if that’s away from me.

  That thought twists my stomach.

  My eyes flick from the road to Mo’s truck up ahead.

  What will I do if she chooses to go back to school? What if she moves away and we’re right back where we were six years ago, trying to make a long-distance relationship work? Can I handle that?

  The answer is quite simply no. I just got Mo back, and I’m not ready to let her go again. I don’t want to live a life between two homes—always passing each other in the wind, hoping for a night together before we have several more apart. With my job, that’s exactly how it could end up.

  But my thoughts about my future have been changing.

  The logistics of how we could make this work roll around my head for the rest of the drive. Mo passes the exit for her house, instead taking a left toward Animal Haven, but I keep going straight. A couple of minutes, later I’m pulling down my parents’ lane. I put the truck in park and shoot Mo a quick text because I’m sure she’s wondering where I went.

  I have to run a few errands. I’ll meet you at Animal Haven in a little while.

  Dad is sitting on the front porch when I pull up. I roll the windows down for the dogs, rather than letting them out. We won’t be here long. I just need to get some advice from the person I trust more than anyone.

  “Thought I might be seeing you soon. What did the doctors say?”

  I shrug and bound up his front steps. “Same ol’ shit, different day.”

  His eyes watch me. “Lucifer did some damage, huh?”

  “Little bit.”

  “When are you heading back?”

  Propping my hip against the porch rail, I look at my dad. “You don’t want to try to talk me out of going?”

  “Nope.” He tilts his head. “You do want to go back, don’t you?”

  “Yeah.” I pause. “I mean, I think so. Hell, I don’t know.”

  A slow smile spreads across his face. “What did you really come out here for, son?”

  I worry my bottom lip between my teeth and decide to go for it. “How did you know you were ready to retire?”

  “I didn’t retire,” he says, waving toward the ranch. “I might not mount the bull, but I trained you and your cousin. I still live the life.”

  He’s going to make me spell it out. “How did you know you were ready to give up that part of the life?”

  “I was never scared of getting hurt. I was a lot like you; I always heard the doctors’ advice and kept doing my thing because it’s what I loved. And then one day I realized I loved your mom more than I’d ever loved the bull.”

  “I love Mo more than I love the bull.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I look out toward the ranch for a moment. “She scares me more than any bull ever has. Lucifer can break every bone in my body, but those bones will heal. I might not ride again, but I’ll heal. Mo broke my heart, and I’ve never quite been the same. She says she’s all in, swears she won’t leave me again, but how can I be sure? What if I walk away from bull riding to be with her and she changes her mind?”

  “Has she asked you to walk away?”

  “No, but she was with me at the doctor’s appointment. She heard everything they had to say, and she questioned my return to the PBR. If I’m going to change my life for her, I need to know she’ll support me through all my decisions, even if that means I return to bull riding.”

  Dad pushes himself out of the rocking chair. He steps in front of me and lays a hand on my arm. “Then you need to make her show her hand first.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Give her the chance to prove herself, and once you have your answer, you’ll be prepared to lay it all on the line or move on with your life.”

  Make her show her hand first. I nod. “I think I know how to do that.”

  Hope unfurls in my gut, along with a sliver of fear. This could go well or very, very badly. But it has to be done.

  “Thanks, Dad.” I wrap him in my arms, clapping his back.

  “What are you going to do?” he asks as I jump off the porch.

  I open the door to my truck and turn around. “My first ride will be in Charleston next weekend. I’m leaving on Wednesday. You coming?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  “You’ll find out then.”

  He nods as I hop in.

  I tear down the lane and turn toward Coop’s, where I’ll put my plan in motion. At Coop’s place, I print off the documents I need, pack the rest of my shit in my truck, and make the short drive to Animal Haven.

  Duke and Diesel don’t even lift their heads when I put the truck in park, and this time I don’t bother shutting off the ignition. I grab the extra badge from the glove compartment, along with the papers I printed at Coop’s. I’ve only used the badge a handful of times—always for one of my siblings—but now I’m going to use it the way it’s intended.

  Mo walks out of Animal Haven. She looks exhausted and a little bit sad and definitely like she’s ready to talk, but that’s not happening today.

  In three strides I close the distance between us. She startles when I slam my mouth against hers. It’s a frenzied and sloppy kiss—our teeth knock together—and I sure as hell hope it isn’t our last.

  When I pull away, she touches her bottom lip and smiles.

  “Can we talk now?” she asks.

  “Soon, baby, but not today. There’s something I need you to do for me first.” She frowns, but I continue. “Not too long ago you needed my forgiveness. I gave that to you because I believe in us and what we have the potential to become. Now I need you to do the same for me.”

  I hold the badge out.

  She eyes it curiously as she takes it from my hand. “What’s this?”

  “My first ride is Friday night at seven at the Civic Center in Charleston, West Virginia. Take this badge to the guest relations counter, and they’ll show you where to go.”

  She frowns and shakes her head. “I can’t afford a plane ticket, Rhett.”

  “No excuses, Mo.” I hold out the papers. “I paid for a plane ticket. Everything you need is here.”

  Taking the papers from my hands, she looks down at them. “What if I can’t find anyone to cover for me or take care of my dad?”

  “Figure it out,” I say.

  Her eyes widen.

  “Go home,” I continue, my voice softer. “Talk to your dad, think about what you want to do with your life and whether you see me in your future. If you see an us, then get your ass on that plane and be in your seat when I mount the bull. That’s what I need from you right now.”

  “And if I can’t get there?”

  God, please don’t let that happen. “Then I’ll trust you had a damn good reason.”

  Mo blinks, but she doesn’t move. She doesn’t try to stop me from climbing back into my truck, and she makes no attempt to chase after me.

  I pick up my phone and scroll through my contact list. Linc answers on the first ring.

  “I’ll be back in town in two hours. You up for a late night?”

  “I’ll meet you there.�
��

  Monroe

  I stand outside of Animal Haven for a long time after Rhett’s taillights fade away. I know what he’s doing—he’s giving me the space to choose. He wants me to decide for myself. If he’d let me talk, he’d know I’ve already chosen him. But evidently that’s not enough. He wants actions, not just words.

  I understand that, and I want to give him what he wants. I just have to take care of something else first.

  I finally turn to lock up Animal Haven and climb back into my truck. I should take care of my own life before I insert myself into someone else’s.

  I type out a quick text to Tess and Claire.

  Can you meet me at Dirty Dicks in an hour?

  Claire replies back almost instantly.

  Did you think I would say no? ☺

  Tess’s reply is simple.

  Yes.

  The drive home is too quick, barely allowing me a chance to think about what I’m going to say, but that’s okay because my future is all I thought about on the drive home from Houston. When I step into my house, I know what I want; I just have to have the courage to ask for it.

  “Hey, Daddy.” I bend down to kiss my dad on the cheek.

  From the corner of my eye, I can see Sharon gathering her things.

  “Would you mind staying a while longer?” I ask her. “There are a few things I want to talk to Dad about, and I’d like for you to be here.”

  Sharon looks between me and Dad for a moment and then puts her purse back on the hook behind the door. She comes to sit on the tattered La-Z-Boy. Dad’s wheelchair is pulled up next to her, and I sit opposite them on the couch.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about what we talked about, Dad, and I think you should do it,” I begin.

  “D-do what?” he asks.

  “I think you should move in with Sharon.”

  He smiles.

  So does Sharon.

  Tears fill my eyes. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Six years of taking care of my father every day, and things are finally going to change. I can barely comprehend what that means. As excited as I am for my future, I’m also sad.

  “I want you to be happy, Daddy, and if Sharon makes you happy, I don’t want to hold you back and keep you from living your life.”

  “Mo.” Dad moves his wheelchair closer to me and reaches out with his good hand. I wrap my fingers around his and smile. “You are th-the best daughter a m-m-man could ever ask for. You have n-never held me b-b-back. It’s me who h-has held you b-back.”

  Pushing up from the couch, I wrap my arms around him. “I’m going to miss you.”

  He buries his face in my hair, and when I pull back, his eyes are filled with tears. “Y-you’ll still see m-me plenty. This is a g-good thing, M-mo.”

  “I know.” I nod, smiling tremulously at him. “I know it’s a good thing, but it’s a big change, and change is scary.”

  “Life is s-scary, but you have t-to live it. You can’t l-let your life p-pass you by, Mo, or one d-day you’ll look back and h-have a mountain of r-r-regrets.”

  “I know.”

  Sharon reaches for Dad’s hand, and I can’t help but smile. I want that. I want to grow old with Rhett and be his rock. I want him to be the person I turn to when I have a problem or need to smile. I want him with me every single day, and I’m ready to take the steps I need to to get that.

  “I want to go back to school,” I declare.

  Dad’s smile wobbles. “I was h-hoping you w-would say that.”

  “But not to be a veterinarian,” I add. “I want to take some business classes, work toward a degree. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep Animal Haven and grow the business.” That might be a pipe dream. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to afford to expand, but that’s what this conversation is about—dreams—and this time I’m not letting mine get away.

  “Animal H-haven is yours, Mo. It h-has been f-for the last s-six years.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not sure what the value is on a business like Animal Haven, but I want to do this the right way. I don’t expect you to just give it to me.”

  “I w-want to. Let me d-do this, M-mo.”

  Sharon kisses my dad on the cheek and turns to me. “Let him do this, Monroe. He’s talked about signing it over to you for a long time now. He’s just been waiting for you to want it. He didn’t want to push it on you.”

  Smiling, I laugh. “Okay, Dad. Thank you. And I promise I’ll do great things with it.”

  “I know y-you w-will.” His smile is bright. He watches me for a second and then asks, “What a-about the house?”

  “Well…” I look around at my childhood home. “I don’t know. What would you like to do with it?”

  “Y-you live here until y-you get through s-school and get s-settled, and then we’ll s-sell it. Unless you w-want it?”

  “You want to sell it?” I don’t know why his answer surprises me. This house holds a lot of good memories, but even more bad.

  “It’s j-just a house, M-mo. It’s been m-more like a prison to b-both of us over th-the years, and I’d l-like for that t-to change. But if y-you want it, y-you can k-keep it.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “I think your plan is good. Once I get on my feet and can afford a place of my own, we’ll sell it.”

  Sharon pats Dad’s hand and stands up. “You two are making so many big decisions tonight. I feel like this deserves a celebration, and I’ve got a fresh plate of brownies.”

  “My favorite.”

  Sharon smiles back at me. “I know.” She winks and slips out of the room.

  “I’m happy for you, Daddy. I’m glad you were able to find someone who makes you smile the way she does.”

  “Th-thank you. She’s s-special.”

  “I know she is. You deserve someone special.”

  “I’ve been trying to tell him that for years,” Sharon says, laughing.

  She hands me a napkin with a giant brownie on it. Pulling a tray from the corner of the room, she clips it on Dad’s wheelchair and sets his brownie there.

  I eat my brownie silently, watching Dad feed himself. Sharon doesn’t fuss over him or hover, but when a chunk of brownie lands on the side of his lip, she wipes it off and smiles warmly. That’s when I know for sure I’ve made the right decision.

  One of many right decisions to come.

  She’ll care for him with a gentle, loving hand, and I can’t ask for more than that.

  “If you two are good here, I’ve got a few more errands to run.”

  Dad looks up as though he just remembered I was in the room, and Sharon answers. “Sure, sweetie. We’re good. Take your time.”

  I wad my napkin up and toss it in the trash before returning to give Dad and Sharon each a kiss. On my way to the door, Dad stops me.

  “What a-about Rhett?” he asks.

  My heart skips a beat as I turn around. “What about him?”

  “What does h-he think about y-you going b-back to school?”

  “I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet,” I say. Then I walk out the door, shutting it softly behind me.

  On my drive to Dirty Dicks, I make a mental note of all the things I need to do. Not only will I have to get Dad’s things packed, I’ll have to contact the medical equipment company and transfer everything to Sharon’s. I’ll also need to call the local community college and make an appointment with an academic advisor to find out where to start.

  So many things to do, and I welcome the chaos with open arms.

  When I pull up to Dirty Dicks, I see Tess’s car in the lot, as well as Claire’s. I climb out of the truck and walk in, waving to some of my regular customers along the way.

  Claire and Tess are sitting in a booth along the back wall. They smile when I walk up.

  “I ordered you a beer,” Claire says, handing me the brown bottle.

  “Thank you.” I slide in the booth next to Tess, who’s looking at me funny. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I don’t think you’ve ever initiated a girl’s night out.”

  “She’s right,” Claire says. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.” I smile. “Maybe I just wanted to hang out with my friends.”

  They look at each other and then at me. “Sorry,” Claire says. “Try again.”

  “Fine.” I roll my eyes. “My dad is moving in with your mom. He’s giving me Animal Haven, and I’m going back to college.”

  Tess throws her arm in the air, signaling the waitress. “We’re going to need more alcohol for this.”

  Claire’s eyes are wide. “What do you mean your dad and my mom are moving in together? Are they…you know…sleeping together?”

  “See, I told you we’d need more alcohol,” Tess pipes in.

  “No.” I shake my head. “They aren’t sleeping together.”

  Sean drops off another round of beers. Claire grabs one, takes a giant swig, and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

  “Okay,” she sighs. “Start from the beginning, and don’t leave a damn thing out.”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “We’ve got all night.”

  Rhett

  I haven’t heard another word from Mo—not that night after I left her at Animal Haven or any other night leading up to my ride. It’s been almost a week, and I’m going out of my mind, wondering what she’s thinking and how she’s doing. Several times I’ve picked up the phone, wanting to hear her voice, but I can’t get myself to make the call. I miss her, more than I ever did when I left for Houston six years ago. How I went that many years without talking to her or seeing her beautiful face, I’ll never know. The dull ache in my chest is a constant reminder of how integrated into my life she’s become.

  But I keep reminding myself: I told her exactly what I needed from her, so it’s up to her to come through.

  By the time Friday night rolls around, it feels like an entire year has passed. My crew and I have worked around the clock, perfecting my movements and getting me comfortable on the bull again.