I try to force my eyes away, but no matter what I do they continue to linger back to him.
Gavin is gorgeous and I bet every woman here would jump at the chance to spend an evening with him, but for me it’s more. It’s more than just the flutters I feel in my stomach. It’s more than just the racing of my heart. It’s the undeniable connection I feel when I look at him that I can’t shake off, that I don’t want to shake off.
He has a girlfriend, Kate. I sigh with frustration because it’s ludicrous to want more with a man who’s already in a relationship. No matter what I keep telling myself, I’m unable to take my eyes off him. But I wish I had looked away because out of nowhere, his eyes lock with mine. His brows knit and his shoulders square, and if I had to guess I would say he’s not happy to see me.
God, Kate, what are you doing? I’m surprised the floor didn’t swallow me whole from embarrassment. My face is flushed and it has nothing to do with how warm it is. I glance back at the ring in time to see blood splatter as a man drops to his knees. I can’t watch, and without meaning to my traitorous eyes glance back at Gavin. Gavin says something in his ear then Kiran hops up and announces a winner, causing the place to go crazy.
My eyes remain locked with Gavin’s until an attractive brunette walks up, forcing his attention toward her.
The woman places her arm on his bicep while she moves her mouth closer to his face. She’s touching him in a familiar way until he practically shoves her hand off him and takes a step away from her. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but even from across the room I can tell he’s not happy with her.
I wonder if this is Carly. If it is, they must be in an off spell. Heck maybe they have been for a while now. Gavin doesn’t talk much if any to Leeta, making it possible she doesn’t know what their situation currently is.
But he left for almost a week. I’m still watching them when Alyssa tugs on my arm. “That was over quick. We better get out of here before the cops catch wind.” I lock hands with Alyssa and the two of us make our way out front.
The cool night air hits my warm face and I start to relax. “I parked this way.” Alyssa turns and points at the same time a large crowd that’s still feeding off the excitement flows out of the building. I start watching the various people when I notice I’m no longer standing next to my friend.
“Alyssa?” I shout. People are everywhere, but none of them are Alyssa. Things go from bad to worse when someone yells, “Cops!” That one word causes a massive outburst of panic.
People start pushing and shoving, doing whatever they can to get themselves away from the possibility of being caught. Hysterically, I dial Alyssa’s cell but it goes straight to voicemail. I bite my lip and shake my head, trying to force back tears as I hear sirens getting closer every second. Before I have the chance to panic any further, Gavin pulls up to the curb I’m standing on. “Get in!” Without a second thought I hop in.
“Thanks.” I hear a small hitch in my voice as my nerves are still attempting to settle. My first week of living on my own and I could’ve been arrested. I start rubbing my temples, forcing myself to relax.
Gavin drives for a long time when a text comes in from Alyssa telling me she had to go when she saw the police turn down the side street she was parked on. I want to be pissed at her for leaving me, but I did the same thing. Instead, I send her a quick message telling her I left with Gavin.
I put my phone away about the same time Gavin parks his car. I glance around and notice that we’re in front of my apartment building. I’m about to thank him when it occurs to me I never told him where I live. In fact, I never even told him I moved out of Leeta’s house.
I take a deep breath. “How did you know I lived here?”
He hesitates before he finally answers. “I’ve kept my eye on things. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He shrugs as if what he said is no big deal.
“Oh.” I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m secretly pleased with his answer. The last time I saw him he was angry with me. I thought maybe he even hated me for some reason, but that’s obviously not the case. He might have a girlfriend, but for whatever reason Gavin is a door I don’t want to completely close. At least not until I know for a fact that he’s unavailable.
“I’ve only lived here a week.”
“I know.” His answer is quick and firm, making me wonder just how closely he’s been watching me. Is it possible Gavin somehow got into my apartment and left me that note? Or maybe he’s kept his eye out close enough that he knows who did.
I inhale loudly then rush out, “I think someone’s been in my apartment.” Gavin’s eyes narrow and his jaw ticks at my statement. He’s either a good actor or he wasn’t the person who left me that note.
“Why do you say that?”
Whenever Gavin is around me, my brain turns to mush and I allow my body to control my good sense, which is why I say, “Come inside and I’ll show you.”
****
My apartment is small, but it’s clean. If I really felt the need I could have contacted my father’s lawyer and asked for extra money to pay for something nicer, but there’s nothing wrong with this place. At least I didn’t think so until I watched Gavin look around with a look of distaste on his face.
“Just a second. I put the note up in my room.” I hurry in, open the drawer by the bed, and pull out the envelope. When I turn around, I run straight into Gavin’s hard chest.
“Oh. Geez, I didn’t hear you follow me in here.” I back up a little and glance up into his eyes, only to find him looking at me the same way he did the night we went to dinner.
“Here.” I shove the note at him then dodge around his arms before walking back out into a safer area, an area that doesn’t have a bed right next to us.
I know the exact moment Gavin looks at the note because his whole body goes tight with tension. “Where did you find this?” he all but snarls out as he follows me back into the living room.
“I opened a box that I packed when I moved out of Leeta’s. It was sitting on the top of everything else and I didn’t put it in there. I honestly don’t know how long it’s been here.”
Our eyes tangle again and that connection I feel is back, stronger than ever. If Gavin doesn’t have a girlfriend then I think we might actually be able to move past this tension that’s standing between us.
I stand silently in the same spot, waiting for him to say something. When he does, it’s not what I was expecting—or maybe hoping. Definitely hoping.
“You need to keep your eyes and ears open. Watch your surroundings better. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to leave this for you and that bothers me. Fuck, it more than bothers me. I have a lot going on right now, but I’ll look into this a little closer.”
I shift my weight from one foot to the other, unsure what to say. I can kid myself all I want, but I was hoping for something more than Gavin blowing me off like we’re strangers. But that’s pretty much what we are...strangers. For some reason though, in my mind and heart I feel like I know Gavin, but I don’t. And he’s clearly just as done with me as he was the last time I saw him because he’s walking to my door ready to leave.
“Also, don’t go to The Hill. Fights like that bring out all sorts of people. It’s not safe for you and your friend to go by yourselves.”
Gavin opens my apartment door ready to leave but he looks back over toward me one last time with almost a sad smile and adds, “Make sure you lock up.” Then he’s gone.
For a brief moment, I thought maybe Gavin and I could at the very least end up being friends, but him leaving is probably for the best. At least that’s what I keep telling myself because with Gavin I’m certain I want to be a whole lot more than just his friend.
For the next couple of weeks, my life forms a new normal. I go to school, hang out with Alyssa and Gabby, and I’ve even gone to a few parties. The one and only time I heard about a fight at The Hill I made sure to pass on Gabby and Noah’s offer to tag along.
I haven’t heard a
word from Gavin since the night he left my apartment and my lunch dates and shopping trips with Leeta have severely decreased. I’ve neglected my promise not to desert her, and I’m starting to feel like crap. At the same time, I think she’s resigned herself to the idea that I’m not her long lost daughter.
Tonight I feel like I’m taking a step in the right direction because I agreed to go out on a date with one of Alyssa’s friends, Devon. I met Devon at a party last weekend and since then he’s asked Alyssa about me almost every day, or so she claims. Devon is good looking and as horrible as this may sound, I’m hoping tonight will make me forget about a guy who has obviously forgotten about me.
I am finishing the final touches of my makeup when a knock comes from my apartment door. I open it and find Devon waiting for me.
“Wow, Kate. You look amazing.” A shy smile forms on my lips. I had one boyfriend in high school. We dated for almost two years before he left for NYU. I really liked Cole, but I didn’t like him enough to attempt a long distance relationship so we parted ways. Other than a random Facebook comment here and there, I haven’t heard from him.
Devon reminds me a little of Cole. He’s tall and lanky compared to the guys I’ve seen at The Hill, but he’s by no means a small guy.
“Thank you. I’m ready to go, unless you want to come inside for a drink?”
“No. If you’re ready then let’s go.” Devon seems more my speed, however the few times we’ve spoken in the last week he came off shy and unconfident—at least around females. I saw him talking to a group of guys last weekend when I first met him and he acted bold and self-assured. But that hasn’t been the case this last week with me.
Devon drives us to the same restaurant that Gavin took me to, and I have to stifle a laugh. The food at this place was great, but two dates with two different guys and I end up here both times? I shake off my thought and take the hand Devon offers me.
“I wasn’t sure what kind of food you like and this place has a little of everything,” he says with pride.
“This is fine.” Unlike the time when I came with Gavin, they don’t seem to know Devon by name. My evening, however, is just as enjoyable. Devon is a senior at Berkley and appears to have his life in order. And the more time I spend with him, the more I like him.
“Why didn’t you start here as a freshmen?”
With a half-smile, I say words that are still difficult to hear. “My dad died a few months ago. My mom died four years ago and I have...family in the area.” Devon’s eyes widened with disbelief.
“Damn. I’m sorry to hear that.”
There’s no doubting my comment has placed a damper on the evening. “Thanks.” I bite my lip for a second, thinking of another topic that might steer us back toward the easy mood we were enjoying moments before.
“You graduate in the spring?” Devon gives me a smile, and just like that, our conversation transitions to a much easier topic.
“I’ve applied for several master programs but I still don’t know where I’ll be going yet.” As Devon continues talking I get a feeling that I’m being watched. I try to shake it off, but I can’t. I casually glance around without making it obvious to my date what I’m doing when my eyes immediately halt and lock with Gavin’s. He’s across the restaurant at a booth with Kiran. Kiran appears to be talking to him but Gavin won’t take his eyes off of me. I can feel the heat of his stare from across the restaurant.
“Kate?” My attention is pulled away from Gavin and back to my date and I instantly feel like crap because I have no idea what he said.
“I’m sorry, what?” My cheeks feel flushed and I’m hoping Devon doesn’t notice.
“I asked you if you are ready to go.”
I nod my head. “Yes. Yes, I’m sorry. I spaced out there for a second.” Instead of answering me he stands up and holds his hand out for me to take, which I do but not before I glance back at Gavin. He’s still watching me but now he’s frowning, almost glaring in my direction.
I’m confused and maybe even a little spiteful at his reaction to seeing me. He’s had nothing to do with me for weeks now, and even before that I only knew him a handful of days. I can’t come up with a single reason why he’d be upset with me. I moved out of his mother’s house, and tonight I’m out living my life like any normal twenty-year-old. I give him one last look before I wrap my arm around Devon’s waist and the two of us walk out. My only regret now is I definitely gave Devon the impression I like him more than I do.
****
Devon brings me home, and when I invite him in he hesitates. “I have homework I need to do first thing in the morning. I would love to come in, but I’m afraid if I do I might not leave.” My cheeks heat from his comment. I don’t think I want the kind of relationship Devon implied so it’s probably for the best that he declined. I like him and I think with a little more time I might come around to the idea of dating him, but I’m not ready to mess around with him, at least not yet.
“Goodnight, Kate.” Devon leans forward and places a light kiss on my lips before he turns and walks away.
I open my door. Out of habit, I look around my apartment for anything that might be out of place, but like normal everything is exactly how I left it.
I strip down to a tank top and pair of shorts, clean my makeup off, and then climb into bed. I toss and turn for what seems like forever and just as I’m about to fall asleep I hear someone pounding on a door. Most of the people in this apartment building are college students, and since I’ve moved in a few have had loud parties. When the pounding doesn’t stop I get out of bed and discover it’s coming from my door.
I look through my peephole, which causes my stomach to drop. It’s Gavin. I’m standing at my door unsure if I should answer when he pounds again, startling me to the point that I scream.
“Open the damn door, Kate.” A frustrated sigh passes my lips as I swing open the door, only to find Gavin staring down at me, his arms gripping the top of the doorframe. His chest heaves and his nostrils flare, but when our eyes lock I feel that same connection—almost a jolt passing through my body.
His eyes thin to slits, causing me to step back as he steps with me, ultimately allowing him to come into my apartment. I wait a beat for him to say something, but he doesn’t, which only frustrates me more.
“Can I help you?” I rush out, trying to keep my voice as flat as possible, but I’m certain I did a poor job. Gavin keeps his eyes locked on mine as he kicks the door closed with his foot.
“Are you here alone?” he barks out.
My eyes clench shut as I fight off the immediate anger I have from his question. This has gone too far. He doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else, to the point that he drove over here to make sure Devon wasn’t with me? Once I open my eyes, I keep them focused on his as I say, “Get out.”
Gavin blinks a few times in what appears to be confusion. “What?” I’m usually a very calm person but Gavin has a way of driving me to my breaking point.
“I told you to get out. I have no idea what game it is you’re playing, but I’m not playing it with you. Maybe that’s what you’re used to. Dramatic females that hop aboard the crazy train so you have no idea how a normal relationship works, but let me clue you in on something. When you go weeks without seeing or calling a girl—a girl you blew off in the first place—you don’t get to just show up and demand anything. Now like I said before, get out.” I point to the door, but Gavin ignores my outburst and instead of walking to the door, he moves to my sofa and sits down.
He takes several deep breaths as he runs his hands through his hair. When he looks back up at me he appears more relaxed than he was moments ago.
“I was working out some shit that’s going on in my life. Shit I don’t want blowing back on you. When I had everything taken care of I was planning on showing up here to take you out, but apparently you’re not waiting around so it needs to happen now.”
What a freaking jerk. He’s says jump and I’m su
pposed to say how high?
“Nah, I’m good. Not to mention you have a girlfriend, remember? Now could you get out?” I answer as a scowl returns to his face.
“I don’t have a girlfriend. I haven’t had one in a long time and I would have told you that the night you implied as much but I was pissed. I needed to cool the fuck down.”
Relief washes over me but it’s immediately followed by dread. Something is still off. He could have told me by now that he doesn’t have a girlfriend but he didn’t bother until tonight...when he saw me with someone else. If I jump at the chance to be with him now, then he’ll think this behavior is acceptable. And I don’t want to date a guy who thinks it’s okay to disappear for long periods of time because he has shit going on. Gavin stands up and takes a step toward me, causing me to clumsily step backward and into a wall.
My voice is weak, barely even a whisper when I finally speak. “You don’t want me. You enjoy the chase. Until you saw me with someone else, I wasn’t even a thought in your mind.”
When he reaches me he gives me a slight squeeze on my arms. “I’ve thought of nothing but you for longer than you’d ever believe was possible. But I do have a lot of shit going on in my life right now. Shit that could blow back on the people I care about. If someone were to...fuck...Kate. I wanted to protect you so I stayed away but I can’t stomach the idea of you with someone else. Just picturing your arms around that guy tonight makes my blood boil.”
His fingers brush down my cheeks as he stares deep into my eyes. Being this close to him feels dangerously good. To my surprise, my body is hungry, almost greedy for more, for any sort of physical touch, but my mind keeps reminding me that this is a horrible idea.
“Why didn’t you say something? Tell me you don’t have a girlfriend. Tell me that you’ll call me in a few weeks or I don’t know...something?”
Beneath The Lies Page 6
