I pushed them up in response. Though they didn’t need it. He’d told me to wear them only if I was sure. Nervous or not, I was sure. “That okay?”
Though he was still smiling, there was a seriousness in his tone. “Oh, yeah. More than okay.” He stood aside. “Here, come on in.”
I walked over the threshold, and Gilbert shut the door behind me. Then he reached out and took the purple-and-yellow bouquet from my hands. “You’re bringing me flowers now?”
“They’re for your mom. Didn’t know you were a flower kind of guy.”
He glanced down at them. “Are they from your garden?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm. Then I’m a flower kind of guy.” He looked back up, his expression unlike any I’d seen from him before. “But I guess I can share this batch.” He reached out with his free hand, grasped mine, and then leaned in close, his eyes looking into mine. “Thank you. For being here. For everything.” He kissed me before I could think of something to say. I got the sense that the kiss was supposed to be a quick one, but he sank into me, crinkling the paper around the flowers.
A throat cleared behind us, and we jumped apart. I turned to find Lacy beaming at us, a blush on her cheeks. I was glad to see her reaction. We’d done a good job avoiding all things Gilbert during the last half of the school year. I wasn’t certain how she’d feel about what was happening. She came over, then stood on tiptoe to give me a quick hug. “Well, I knew I was supposed to set you up with my brother; guess I just chose the wrong one.” She narrowed her eyes in Gilbert’s direction as she pulled away. “I’m not done giving you shit for keeping secrets. Twins don’t do that. But Walden’s a pretty good one, as secrets go. Now come on, the family is waiting.”
Lacy wasn’t kidding. They were waiting. They being an army. We rounded the formal foyer and the lavish house opened into a large kitchen and dining room off to one side, a living room on the other. People were spread out everywhere. I knew Gilbert came from a large family, but I hadn’t quite grasped how large until I saw them all together.
“Oh, Walden! I’m so glad you’re here!” Regina, Gilbert’s mom, rushed toward me and gathered me in her arms. She’d been the one to show me the houses set aside for people in helping professions when I’d moved here. She’d apologized profusely about the state of the yard and had been shocked when that was the home I’d chosen. She was super sweet but a little odd. Regina pulled back from the hug, kissed my cheek, and then patted it with more familiarity than was warranted, but somehow felt expected from her. “And I just love those red glasses. So festive and fun. They do make your fair complexion a little ruddy, but I’m glad you stick to your guns and wear them anyway.” She gave a final pat and turned to Gilbert. “You make introductions. I’ve almost got dinner on the table.”
He held out the flowers. “Here, Mom, Walden brought these. It seems he’s trying to romance you instead of me.”
Regina took the bouquet, raised the flowers to her face, and breathed deep. She sighed contentedly, then looked at me, her expression serious. “Well, I am the better option, definitely. But my son does have his charms, as I’m sure you’ve discovered.” She winked, then headed into the kitchen, raising her voice as she walked. “Walden’s here, everyone! Line up and introduce yourself. Mark this down as the day we got a new Bryant in the family! And the day after the Kellys got Joel. Just perfect.” She continued muttering cheerfully as she disappeared behind a wall in the kitchen.
I turned to Gilbert and gaped, sure I’d heard her wrong.
He shrugged. “I should’ve warned you. I don’t bring men home, so they’ll all assume this means….” His words wandered off, and he broke eye contact.
Lacy leaned in, nudging me with her shoulder. “Better brace yourself, sweetie. You’re not going to be bored.”
The introductions were thick and fast, sweeping any astonishment aside. Patrick, Gilbert’s dad, was the opposite of his wife. Where she was all big blonde hair and low-cut pastel dress, he was sleek and handsome and serious. Then Gilbert and Lacy’s older sister, Hayley, her husband, James, and their three children, Dillon, Jackson, and Olive. It put me at ease to have kids there. If worse came to worst, I could pull my teacher card and entertain them. Then Micah, who’d played the violin at the wedding. Finally, Connor, who still made me feel small. He was the one who stood out. Darker and so different from the other Bryants, especially with all his tattoos. As he shook my hand and clapped me on the shoulder like we were old friends, I noticed the same purple-and-blue heart tattoo on the back of his right hand that Gilbert had on his shoulder.
There was no time to ask about it as Regina called out that dinner was ready.
Meals at my home were quiet. Just my mother, father, and me. They’d gotten quieter every year as I became more and more of who I was and less of the son they’d hoped and prayed I’d be.
By the time the meal was halfway over, I was nearly overwhelmed. With all the voices, laughter, the barking of two dogs that appeared from nowhere as the meal was set out. People spoke over each other, Olive started to cry when one of her older brothers made a face at her from across the table, Micah laughed way too hard at something Connor said.
It was noise, noise, noise.
And I thought I liked it.
Gilbert was discussing something with Lacy, his fork already halfway to his mouth, though he hadn’t even finished chewing his bite of baked chicken as he continued yakking away. He must have felt my gaze, as he glanced over and cocked a questioning brow. I smiled and nodded in a way I hoped was reassuring. He didn’t look fully convinced but smiled back and resumed talking to Lacy.
I’d been so convinced that there wouldn’t be anyone else after Levi. That part of me had broken irrevocably. And I figured that was still true. Or at least that I’d been broken so badly I was never going to be the same Walden I’d been before. I’d also assumed that I’d never be able to trust anyone else again either. But as I looked around at the Bryants, I realized that part wasn’t accurate. Levi had kept me from everyone. And everyone from me. Which, looking back, made sense; he’d lived a secret life. I was his secret life. At least one of them. But Gilbert and I hadn’t gone further than admitting to each other we both had feelings, and there I was. Surrounded by his family, by nearly everyone who was important to him. None of this was secret. And maybe it was too much, too fast. But I was glad it was this way. Overwhelming to be sure, but it made me feel safe. Not only that he was who he claimed to be, but that the feelings I saw in his eyes were truly real.
Gilbert had set down the fork and rested his hand on my thigh as he spoke to Lacy. It was an unconscious, automatic gesture, at least it seemed. I marveled at that. I’d wanted more with Gilbert. Had for months, even though I’d never thought it could happen, hadn’t even been sure I was ready. But there I was, surrounded by his family, him touching me as he chatted with his twin, like he simply needed to know I was there. My heart soared. Fear bit at me as well; I didn’t think I was strong enough to go through loss again, but I did my best to shove that worry aside. Reaching over, I slipped my hand into his, the table hiding it from view. He glanced back at me again. He smiled once more and squeezed my hand. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I leaned closer. “Me too.”
Maybe his mom noticed, since she sat across from us, or maybe she’d simply decided the meal had gone smoothly enough. She pushed back from the table with a flourish and stood. “I’ll be right back.”
Patrick sighed loudly as he shook his head toward his wife’s vacant chair.
Gilbert straightened instantly, his voice panicked. “No. Mom. No. Absolutely not. Sit back down.”
She was already lost in another room.
“Might as well accept it, bro. It only gets worse if you fight it.” Micah waggled a fork at his brother. “Remember when I had a crush on Sam Welby in fifth grade and brought him here? At least you’re not ten and you don’t have to worry about all your classmates talking about your ass for the nex
t year.”
Connor shook his head. “That’s nothing. The only childhood picture she got from my mom was me in the bathtub with my dick tucked between my legs. That was real fun having a guy you were planning on sleeping with see you like that first.”
Picture she got from his mom?
“I still remember Hayley’s,” James piped up from across the table. “Prom night, and that was definitely not the image of Hayley’s ass I was planning on seeing that evening, let me tell you.”
Patrick cleared his throat at his son-in-law. “Need I remind you that your three-year-old daughter is at this table?”
James blushed. “Sorry, sir. You’re right, sir.”
Hayley shook her head and grinned at Gilbert. “It is your turn. Finally.”
Before I had a chance to figure out what they were all talking about, Regina was back and she wedged herself between Micah and me. She swatted at him. “Scoot over, baby.” He did, and she plopped down, sharing the chair with him, then shoved the plates and dishes out of the way on the table with a clatter before slamming a large photo album down in front of me. The edge of it hit a spoon, which shot across the table, nearly hitting her husband. The two little boys at the end of the table giggled.
Regina was oblivious and held the album closed as she leveled her gaze on me. “I’m assuming since you know my son biblically, you also know what he does for a living.”
Beside her, Micah snorted. “Right, Mom, because Gilbert has had that conversation with every guy he’s known biblically.”
“Hey.” Gilbert leaned back in his chair and reached around us just enough to swat him in the back of the head.
“Well”—Regina bobbed her head—“he does have a point, dear.” She returned her quizzical gaze to me.
It took me a moment to remember what the question had been. “Oh, yes. He designs jewelry.”
“Very true.” She nodded in approval. “Well, one day I came back from walking Anne—she was our cocker spaniel at the time—and I strolled into my bedroom to find this!” She flung open the album to the place her thumb had saved.
Beside me, Gilbert groaned, and Lacy burst out laughing.
Regina pointed a long periwinkle nail at the picture. “You’ll notice he had excellent taste in jewelry even back then.”
I leaned closer, unable to stop the smile I felt growing. In the photo, a little Gilbert stood in the center of a room. Naked except for the countless strings of pearls and gold around his neck. Behind him, a girl who could only be Lacy sat at the vanity, still clothed and making a mess of lipstick across her face.
Regina tapped it again. “Notice that the jewelry nearly covered up the private bits, but not quite.”
Gilbert raised a finger in the air, drawing my attention away from the album. “I want it pointed out that I’m not fighting this because I know it’s pointless, but I also want to let you know that I hate you all.”
“You hate me, Uncle Gilbert?” one of the nephews piped up.
“No, not you, Jackson. I’m still deciding about your older brother, though.”
“Hey!” Dillon, it seemed, cried out as he jutted his chin forward.
The table got lost to hoots, hollers, laughter, and it was one of the loveliest things I’d ever seen. Even Gilbert looked lighter surrounded by his family. I hoped I elicited a similar response, or that I would one day. I leaned into him once more, making sure my whisper wouldn’t be overheard. “I do like your style. Maybe later you can just wear a pearl necklace for me.”
His eyes widened. It seemed I’d left Gilbert Bryant speechless. That was fun.
Regina closed the album, drawing my attention back to her, then offered a whisper of her own in my ear. “Honestly, I’m not sure where this tradition came from. I did it once to be silly, but then it stuck. I’m glad my son finally has someone important enough that I can embarrass him in front of the rest of us.” She smiled sweetly and then began to stand. As she did, a flash of color caught my eye from inside the edge of her blouse.
Without thinking, I snagged her arm before she walked away. I let go instantly. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to grab you.”
She just smiled, nonplussed. “It’s okay, dear. Did you want to see the picture again? I have others as well.”
“Dear God, Mom, no more pictures!” Even though Gilbert’s tone was loud, I could hear the enjoyment in his voice.
“Actually, I just noticed your tattoo.”
Micah leaned around her from the other side of the chair and gave me an exaggerated scandalized expression. “Oh my God, you’re looking at my mom’s cleavage.” His gaze darted behind me. “Bro, good call. You found someone who can give you a run for your money.”
“You hush.” Regina swatted at Micah, making it twice that he got smacked in five minutes. Then she pulled back the low-cut blouse to a nearly uncomfortable level. It was an uncomfortable level. “Here you go, Walden. Though I’m willing to bet you’ve seen it somewhere else.”
Patrick groaned from across the table again, and he rested his head in his hands.
I had seen it, twice now. On the left side, sprigs of lavender curved. On the right, blue waves finished the shape of a heart.
Thankfully, Regina smoothed her blouse back into place. “Connor, you take this one, my love.” She scooted from between Micah and me, then placed the album on the kitchen counter before reclaiming her seat by Patrick.
Connor grinned, his voice soft, considering his size. “When I came out, my family didn’t take it so well. Gilbert and I were good friends all through school, and when things went to shit with my folks freshman year, Patrick and Regina took me in. Adopted me, actually. When I opened my tattoo parlor downtown, I designed that to represent Lavender Shores and all the love and family it brought me.”
He really did seem like a gentle giant, though my heart ached for him having to go through that so young. I smiled at him. “I was a little older, but it was similar with my family. I still see my parents from time to time, but they’ll never be okay with who I am.”
Regina let out a soft gasp. “Well, you’re in the right place now. Lavender Shores is exactly where you need to be. And maybe one day you’ll have a tattoo to match.”
“I hadn’t realized everyone in town had the same tattoo.”
Lacy shook her head. “They don’t. Just family. And the Kellys, because they’re family too.”
Micah piped up again. “Yeah, Walden, stick around to be part of the family and maybe you’ll get to tattoo something above my mother’s breast. Because that’s normal!”
“Oh, hush!” Regina swatted her napkin at him. Then shimmied her shoulders. “And besides, I’ve heard they’re exceptional breasts.” She elbowed Patrick. “Right, honey?”
Patrick still hadn’t looked up from where he’d hidden his face. He simply groaned and shook his head.
I shot a glance at Gilbert, expecting to see panic on his face as his family joked about me becoming a part of them. To my surprise, I didn’t find it. If anything, he looked like he was worried about the same thing I was—wondering what I thought of it all.
And what did I think? For one, it was way too soon for anyone to be talking about me getting a family tattoo. Ridiculous, though seemingly in concert with Regina’s personality.
Although I’d already been certain I wanted Gilbert, after this meal, as crazy as it was, I wanted him even more. And I wanted to be a part of the Bryant family, as crazy as they seemed. What a wonderful gift that would be.
Nineteen
Gilbert
The ride back to Walden’s had been quiet, and not overly comfortable. Things had gone so well at my parents’—better than I’d even considered, not that I’d had much time to think about it in the first place—and it had all felt so normal. So good. Then we got into the car, and words vanished. The ease left. The silence that remained in the wake of the Bryant clan was too empty. It allowed for thoughts and fears to tumble, and they threatened to steal the comfort I’d though
t I found in Walden’s presence.
“Are you okay?” Walden sounded nervous. He looked over from the driver’s side, I’d decided to leave my car at my parents’ house.
“Yeah, all’s good.” I forced a smile, then decided that after all my years in therapy, I could at least act a little more self-actualized than was natural. “Actually, no. I mean, I’m okay. But I think I’m just a little freaked out. In one way, this has been building for months, I guess, but it feels like it just happened in the past few hours.” Because it had. At least the realization of what I truly felt for Walden.
“I think I’m feeling that too.” He kept his eyes on the road. “Do you want me to take you back to your folks’? Is spending the night too much right now?”
“No.” The word blurted out of me before I could think, but I paused, considering. Maybe that was best. Give us both some time to acclimate. I could sleep in my childhood bed and really think about what I was doing. And fuck me if that didn’t sound like the loneliest thing in the world. I’d had countless nights on my own. Did I really require another one? I glanced at him. “Do you need the night to yourself?”
Walden hesitated as well. Finally, he shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’d like to be with you.” He looked over then, his words becoming rushed. “But there’s no pressure.”
The relief I felt was confirmation enough. “No, I’d like to be with you too. Maybe we can figure it out together.”
He smiled. “Good.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Dear God. I never dreamed I’d have to discuss feelings and shit so much with anyone other than Donovan. My therapist.” I couldn’t remember if I’d told him my therapist’s name or not.
“Well, I have a feeling that if we keep going, that part will only get worse.” He shook his head. “Not worse as in bad, just… more common. There’ll probably be lots of shit to talk through.” He smiled suddenly. “Your mom did send two extra pieces of her apricot-blueberry cobbler. And I have ice cream. We could do second dessert in the garden. That might make talking better.”
The Garden (Lavender Shores Book 2) Page 18
