God, I fucking hated this town. I sighed. “Yep. Rumors are true. Just like always.”
She nodded. “Good. I like him. You need a good man. He’s not too bad on the eyes either.”
I studied her, waiting for the kicker. Though that wasn’t her style. “You giving your stamp of approval?”
“Since when did you wait around for anyone’s approval?” She winked. “That's why you were always my favorite Bryant. But I’ll deny that, of course, should one of your siblings tattle on you.” She patted my hand. “Well, my food’s getting cold, so I’m gonna get back to it.” She winked and started to walk off.
“Mabel?”
She turned back around. “Yeah, darling?”
“Thanks.”
She gave another wink, and the server arrived, a girl I didn’t know. I placed my order and refocused on Lavender Leaves. Levi was still gorgeous. The fucker. Though, he didn’t look happy. His gaze darted to mine. I flinched. Then realized, he probably wasn’t looking at me, not from this distance. And even if he were, he had no idea who I was.
The longer I watched, the more at peace I felt. Even with the guilt that tried to make itself known for spying on Walden. Whatever they were saying, it clearly wasn’t going the way Levi hoped.
Levi no longer looked agitated, but I couldn’t really read his expression that well. Then he reached out and put his hand on Walden’s.
“Look what the cat dragged in. Ruining someone else’s life?”
Thoughts of the guillotine drifted through my mind, and I told myself to watch my tongue as I turned to face a voice I knew so well. I was not going to make a scene at Charley’s. Especially with Walden across the street. “Erica Epstein.” I did a double take when I looked up at her. She’d been blonde the last time. Now she was a Kool-Aid orange. The Epsteins had more money than God, but it was just like my father said—money can’t buy class. The same wasn’t true for her half-brother. Donovan had more class than I could ever hope to have, which I proved every time I ran into his fucking sister. “Wow, that color does things to your complexion, doesn’t it?” Erica always brought out my bitch side. And I never felt bad about it. This time was no exception.
She flipped her long hair over her shoulder, but that was as much as she let on that my insult had landed. “Destroying another teacher I hear.”
And again, fuck this town.
Her insult landed as well. And she won. I had no response.
She smiled and leaned over, supporting her weight on the table with her hands, diamond rings flashing as she drummed her fingers. Behind her, I noticed her husband and kids at another table. Maybe I’d missed them when I walked in. “Why don’t you stay gone? Lord knows the bunch of you Bryants are a horrid lot, but you take their bad name and drag it in the sewer.”
The Bryants and Epsteins had been at war ever since the town’s founding. I’d never given a shit about it, nor anything Lavender Shores related, but Erica acted like the feud had begun when she was born, not decades before. She’d never been pleasant, but she was the ringleader of the torment about Mr. Fitz. And her influence had made my life hell.
She’d thrown me off with her teacher comment and showing up out of the blue when I had all things Walden on my mind, but a conversation I’d had with Andrew the night before his wedding came back to me. I’d known I’d use it at some point but hadn’t figured I’d get the chance so soon.
I glanced at her husband and children again and started to raise my voice. Then guilt finally showed up. Maybe because I was in love or some shit. Whatever was responsible for my stupid conscience, I switched my intention to a whisper and met her horrid gaze dead-on. “How’s Cody Wisner doing, Erica? I heard he was back in town for some sort of business the other night.”
She paled and her fingers stopped drumming. Her words were a hiss. “I’ll kill you. I swear, Gilbert Bryant. I will kill you.”
“You made my life hell. For years.” I forced a friendly smile I didn’t feel and sat up straighter. “I’m going to be in town a lot more from now on. I suggest you not even look in my direction again. Much less ever say my name. Or Walden’s. Got it?”
She glared. Hate evident. Couldn’t blame her. I felt the same for her. Actually, I realized, I didn’t. It was gone. I despised her, but she was nothing to me. Not anymore.
We’d reached an understanding.
One final glare and she turned with another exaggerated hair flip and strutted back to her husband and children.
I watched her for a second. The temptation arose to have a little chat with her husband, after all the years of her taunts of home-wrecker. But I couldn’t. I’d already destroyed one family. I wouldn’t do it again.
Still, Andrew’s sister was part owner of the Blue Blossom Bed-and-Breakfast. If Erica was stupid enough to meet her old high school sweetheart at a hotel in Lavender Shores, it was only a matter of time. It didn’t need to come from me, though.
Bella came up at the moment, dropping off a plate of the world’s finest fried chicken. “Need anything else, Gilbert?”
“Nah, thanks, hun.”
She nodded and left.
A mocha, brownie, and now fried chicken. I needed to stop that shit if I was going to keep the six-pack Walden seemed to enjoy so much.
Walden! Shit. I’d gotten completely distracted.
I looked across the street, and my heart sank. Their table was empty, and a woman stood by the window. I did a quick scan, trying to peer into the depths of Lavender Leaves, then over the sidewalks as far as I could see, but the reflection cut off my view. I couldn’t find them. Walden or Levi.
I started to stand, intending to rush after them, run down one block and then the next. They couldn’t be too far.
No. I sank back into the chair. No. However this went, it was Walden’s decision. If he chose Levi, I’d fight for him however I could. But I had to trust, at least for now, that what we felt was real.
And I was going to eat every bit of the damned fried chicken as I watched my cell phone screen for Walden to call. And if he took too long, I’d order pie too.
Twenty-Two
Walden
The instant I dropped Gilbert off at his parents’ house, terror had consumed me. I’d envisioned seeing Levi again since the day things ended. At first, there’d been thoughts of physical violence. Such betrayal at what he’d done, making me feel like the biggest idiot in the world. That had only lasted a few days. Next had been weeks of heartache—months, if I were honest. Whatever the truth, whoever Levi had been, I’d given him my heart. Completely. I’d planned the rest of my life by his side. Our future had stretched indefinitely before me, then it was ripped away. And not only the future, but even our years together. The man I’d loved hadn’t existed. Not really.
After a while the anger came back, and I longed to see him. To scream at him, to call him every name under the sun.
Finally I’d quit wanting to see him altogether. I honestly think it had something to do with the garden. The more I worked, hands cut and calloused, the more my little haven began to take shape, and the less he mattered. The less I wanted to see him. The hole in my heart remained, but new growth had sprouted around it. The Levi I knew was gone, had never existed. Similarly, the Walden I’d been was gone as well. This new man—this man in his garden, hurt, but he didn’t need or want any aspect of Levi in his life. Not in his bed, not in his arms, not even to yell at. I’d experienced the love of my life, even if it had been an illusion, and it was over. Done. I didn’t need to see Levi to know that.
Then Gilbert.
Dear God, Gilbert.
I hadn’t seen him coming. In any fashion.
Nor had I imagined I’d have a second love of my life.
But that was what hit me as I sat across from Levi. The minute I stepped into Lavender Leaves and saw him there. He was waiting, a steaming vanilla latte in front of him, and a large chai waiting for me. Some things hadn’t changed.
I spared a glance at Pete, who cock
ed an unruly eyebrow at me. I forced a smile and walked over to Levi. He stood, hesitated, then hugged me.
After several seconds I hugged him back, though more for formality than anything. Oh, that was when it hit me. Gilbert wasn’t the second love of my life. He was the first. The man in my arms, even if he’d managed to become the Levi he’d claimed to be, wasn’t. He just wasn’t. Maybe I should feel stupid that I’d thought he was for those years, but even in that moment, I could understand why I had. I’d loved Levi, completely. But now that I loved Gilbert, even though we hadn’t had years together, not even close, it was… different. It was like drinking that powdered chocolate stuff you put in milk when you’re a kid. You think it’s delicious, that you love chocolate. Then one day you stumble into a chocolate store and pick up a high-quality piece of chocolate and take a bite. You suddenly realize you’ve never tasted chocolate before. You have no idea what that powdered stuff was that you thought was chocolate, but you know you’ll never drink it again. Not after discovering real chocolate.
As Levi pulled away, a wave of sadness washed over me.
We’d both been lying to each other. Only I hadn’t been aware.
He trailed his hand down my arm as we parted, then gripped my fingers. “God, I’ve missed you. You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”
Levi looked exactly as I recalled. Picture-perfect. As I met his gaze, a spark of the old anger came back. I pulled my hand away and sat down, motioning for him to do the same. “Thanks for the chai.” I thought I sounded normal.
His eyes narrowed as he slowly sat, like he was trying to judge my reaction. He’d probably thought I was going to rush to him, weeping. He’d missed that boat by well over a year. Thank God.
Levi took a sip of his drink, then set it on the table and folded his hands around the mug. His confident persona back in place. “How are you?”
I opened my mouth to say fine, but I couldn’t force the word to come. Then I tried angry. Didn’t work. Then happy. Also didn’t work. I realized I didn’t want to answer. Not that it really mattered, but I didn’t want to give him anything. Not one more feeling at all. Not even if it was just fine. “What do you want, Levi?” It seemed my emotions and body were in tandem. My voice was neutral, my tone calm. And void of a crack into what I might be feeling. Good. Now to keep that up.
He flinched. He’d cracked. Quickly.
Interesting.
“I’ve missed you, Walden.” He smiled, though it was wary. “Like I said in my messages. I waited for you to respond, but you didn’t.”
He clearly expected a reply, some justification. I didn’t offer one.
“I’ve messed up, Walden. I know that. I’ve hurt you. I hurt… everybody. But I want to make it right. I’ve left Rachel, for good.” He reached out to touch me but pulled his hand back. “For you. I left her for you.”
Part of me felt sorry for Rachel. She’d been kind to me when others would’ve raged or accused me of trying to steal her husband, ruin her family. She’d also looked so very, very sad. I was willing to bet she was devastated now, though I hoped she’d soon experience freedom like I had.
“You know, Levi, you’ve hurt Rachel enough in my name. I’d rather you not blame this new one on me.” Shit, pretty sure some anger slipped out there. That was fast.
Another flinch and he cocked his head slightly. Just enough that I knew what he was thinking. That he already realized the man across from him wasn’t the one he’d left behind. “Of course not. I didn’t mean it like that. And she knows that. She would never blame you.”
My God, he was fucked-up. I took a long drink of my chai. More to give myself a moment to regain control. It was either drink it or toss it in his face. I’d probably chosen the wrong option. “Again, Levi, what do you want?”
“You, Walden.” Levi shrugged like the answer was obvious and he couldn’t understand why I was wasting time asking instead of straddling his lap then and there.
Suddenly I wanted this over. I hadn’t wanted it to begin with, but I didn’t want to give him another second of my life. “Well, then you’ve wasted your time, Levi. So—” Oh my God, I’d almost said Sorry. No, no, no. That wasn’t happening. “Our time together is over.”
Sure enough, he looked completely astonished, as though of all the ways he’d imagined this conversation going, this option had never entered his mind. But to be fair, he didn’t know the Walden I was now. The Walden who’d made his garden just the way he wanted it. The old Walden might have done exactly what he’d expected. Levi’s lips moved silently before he finally chose his words. “Is there someone else?”
I sucked in a breath. I couldn’t tell him about Gilbert. I just couldn’t. For a split second, I thought maybe I felt guilty. But I didn’t. Just like a moment before, I didn’t want to give him anything. Definitely didn’t want to give him anything remotely touching Gilbert. Not even his name. “I’m not the same man I was before, Levi.”
“I know I’ve hurt you.” He reached out, placing his hand over my forearm.
I stared down at the contact, strangely fascinated by it.
“And I’m sorry, Walden. I don’t know how many times you expect me to apologize. I’ve already done so on Facebook and here in person, but I’ll do it as many times as you require.”
A dark laugh broke out of me as I pulled my arm back. “Oh, well, thank you so much for being willing to say you’re sorry. For living a double life and lying to me for years.” I shook my head and subdued my bitter tone. “I don’t need your apologies, but honestly, I do appreciate it. And I ….” I wanted to say that I accepted them, but couldn’t. I wouldn’t lie to him. However, I realized what I could say and mean, so I changed directions. “But I do want to thank you. Maybe I would’ve always become this man that I am. I’m not perfect. But I’m a hell of a lot stronger. And a hell of a lot happier with who I am than I ever was before. I don’t owe that to you, but I do think you sped up the process, so thank you for that.”
Panic flitted over his face, followed by a flash of anger, which he quickly suppressed. “I’d like to know the new you. I love you no matter what version you are.”
“No.” I shook my head again and couldn’t hold back a smile. “You wouldn’t, and the new Walden wouldn’t ever put up with you.” It had taken months to realize just how controlled I’d been during my years with Levi. Never abused, but always silenced.
Another notion hit me again. I’d already thought that I didn’t want to give Levi another second of my life, and yet, here I was, still talking. I placed both of my hands flat on the table and stood. “I don’t wish you any ill will, none. But it’s time for you to leave. Or at least time for me to leave.” Suddenly I needed this to be over. Truly, truly over. “Don’t contact me again. If you do, I’ll begin the process of getting a restraining order.” I forced a smile. “Have a good life, Levi.” I actually meant that. I turned and walked away.
“No, baby.” Levi grabbed my wrist, turning over his chair with a crash as he lunged toward me. “Hear me out.”
Fear flitted through me as I turned toward him. The second I met his eyes, the fear left. I wasn’t in danger, not really. I did feel a spike of pity, though. He looked so desperate. So afraid. Although, maybe I should fear that combination. I pushed the pity aside. “Let go of me, Levi.”
Though it looked like it cost him, he released my hand. “Please, Walden.”
I shook my head. “It’s over, Levi. Really.”
To my surprise, he lunged one more time, I lurched backward, evading his grasp, but ran into a chair and stumbled. The wood splintering beneath my weight.
There was a loud crack from the left. Loud enough that both Levi and I looked over.
Pete Marks stood behind the counter, his hands separating from the angry clap he’d given, and he pointed at Levi. “Get out of my shop.”
Levi stepped toward me. “We’re just talking, old man. This was an accident.”
He clapped again, and I almost laughed.
I’d never seen someone clap in a way that conveyed so much power. “I said get out. And leave the boy alone. He’s one of us now. You touch him again, I call the police. If they don’t get here soon enough, I’ll pull out my rifle from under the counter. Your choice.”
Levi glared at him, then down at me. I didn’t give him a chance to speak, realizing I still didn’t really know who he was. “I’ve a shop full of witnesses, and I’m gonna have some bruises. I’m going to file the restraining order now, either way. But if you stay in town, I’m pressing charges.”
He looked back at Pete, then at me once more. I still knew him enough that I recognized the anger and the sadness.
Then he stormed away and out the door.
Pete and several of the customers hurried over to me, though I stood up on my own.
“Sorry about your chair, Pete.”
He laughed and slipped his arm through mine, then led me over to the counter. “Let me get you a new chai.”
That sounded good. “Do you really have a rifle under there?”
He grinned. “This is Lavender Shores, boy. We don’t need any guns here.”
I glanced back at the window. “Shit. I should’ve watched which way he went.”
A woman I didn’t know stood at the window. “He got in his car. A green Escort, I think, and drove off.” She smiled at me apologetically, like it had been her fault. “I think he’s gone, but you’d better still do that restraining order.”
“Oh, I will. And thanks for watching him.”
She nodded.
I started to walk over to pick up the broken chair.
“Leave that for now.” Pete was already making the chai, and I returned to the counter.
“Thanks, Pete.”
He just grinned at me. “Nothing’s free, Mr. School Teacher.” He finished pouring the chai and slid it across the counter to me. He didn’t give me a chance to ask what payment he wanted, as his smile grew mischievous. “You know I like to know all the news in town, and I’ve heard plenty of rumblings about you and the Bryant boy. Fill me in.”
The Garden (Lavender Shores Book 2) Page 21
