I open the door to Page & Palette and my eyes start scanning for Andi’s signature auburn hair. She loves this eclectic little bookstore, and I know she can usually be found in the back room that houses the children’s books. I weave through the tables of literature, stopping to tell familiar faces ‘hello’, but desperate to get to Andi. I’m not in the mood for idle chit-chat. I need to see her.
I finally get to the back of the store and cross over the threshold to the children’s room. When I see her, a multitude of emotions comes over me. Relief to finally see her, sadness over the look on her face, regret for what I’ve put her through, and lastly, joy when she looks up from the table she’s working at and I see a weak smile cross her face. The relief is short-lived when I see her green eyes become damp with tears. She looks back down at the table and takes a second to get herself together before looking back up at me. She’s perfected the art of pulling herself together due to the premature death of her husband. I hate that she’s had to learn how to do that.
“Hey,” she says, her voice weary.
“I brought you some lunch,” I tell her, holding up the bag from Pete’s like a white flag of surrender.
“Thanks,” she tells me, looking at me, but avoiding my eyes. Her gaze is focused somewhere on my shoulder, like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.
This is clearly not the time for us to talk. She’s not ignoring or threatening me, which is a plus, but she’s not ready.
“I’ll let you get back to work. Enjoy,” I say, handing her the bag. I intentionally run my thumb along her hand when she takes the bag from me, which earns me a tiny gasp.
“I’ll see you tonight.” She must see my confusion because she adds, “At the bar. I’m working.”
I smile a genuine smile for the first time in days. “Maybe we can go to the field after?”
She shrugs. “Maybe.”
I’m rewarded with one more half-smile before I head out the door and back to my apartment, contemplating how I’m going to spend the rest of my day. I can’t possibly log any more miles running today, my tiny apartment has been cleaned from top to bottom, and I have several hours to spare until I have to be at work. I don’t know what I can do to make the time pass. I’m wracking my brain when I spot Cappy fishing off the pier leading to The Shipyard, waving me over to join him.
“Grab that pole, son. I went to get you earlier, but you were gone.”
I get the spare pole that’s leaning against the railing and start baiting the hook with a worm from Cappy’s plastic container of dirt.
“I went to bring Andi some lunch down at the bookstore.”
“Peace offering?”
I guess that answers my question on whether or not he knows what happened in New Orleans. I’m trying to formulate an answer, but he keeps talking.
“That Celeste can’t keep her big mouth shut. I could tell something was wrong with Andi, and Celeste had some pretty foul things to say about you. I chose not to listen. I like to get my information straight from the source. You want to explain what happened, or do I need to just take Celeste’s version as truth?”
I laugh a humorless laugh and shake my head. “I can only imagine what Celeste had to say. I’ve been threatened in more ways than I can recall.” I sigh and run my free hand through my hair. “Nothing happened, Cappy. Those girls took an innocent situation that looked really bad and twisted it without hearing my side. They won’t give me a chance to explain.”
“Explain it to me.”
His tone is telling me I have no say so in the matter. He’s not asking, but demanding to hear the events that took place.
“I ran into an old friend while Andi and I were out in New Orleans. Andi had to leave to go check on Charley, so I stayed at the bar with her to have a few drinks and catch up. She was left there alone and didn’t have a room key. I couldn’t just leave her to fend for herself, Cap. I let her stay in my room.”
“And that’s why she answered the door the next morning, dressed in your favorite shirt, hair a mess and saying you were still in bed?”
I just shake my head. “I swear, Cap. I didn’t touch her. She just came back to the room with me and we went to bed. Nothing happened between the two of us.”
“I believe you. If you say you didn’t touch her, then you didn’t touch her. It’s not me you need to convince. I’m not the one nursing a broken heart.”
I look at him, taken aback by his words. “It’s not like that with us. We’re friends.”
Cappy smiles and messes with his reel, but doesn’t say anything else on the subject. He spends the rest of our time together talking about the bar, things that need to be ordered, and little projects around the place that need to get done. I ask him to make me a list so I can start working on it for him. I have too much time on my hands and I need to fill it so I don’t go insane. Thanks to Thomas Brennan, not only can I fix cars, but I’m pretty good with tools. He made sure to teach me all of the things that my own father didn’t have time for. Thomas enjoyed it just as much as I did, due to the fact that his prissy daughters had no desire to learn their way around a tool box. Besides, why would they need to? They had their dad, and they had me. Those two girls never had to do anything for themselves.
We fish in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts, not bothered by the fact that we aren’t catching anything on our poles. I glance down at my phone, a shock of excitement traveling through my system. I need to head in and get ready for work. I help Cappy pack up his fishing gear and store in the small shed off the side of the bar. He heads inside to tinker around in the office while I head upstairs to grab yet another shower and get dressed for my shift.
When I make my way downstairs I feel better than I have in days. I know I won’t have the chance to talk to Andi while we work, but hopefully she’ll take a ride with me to the fields and we can sort through this. I need to clear the air with her. I also need to get some clarification on what was on the brink of happening on that dance floor before we were stopped. We would be in an entirely different situation right now if I would have never glanced over my shoulder to see what she was staring at. I should have kept my attention on Andi and made her talk to me about what she was feeling. Hope led me to Andi; I just pray that Hope isn’t what rips us apart.
Andi comes out of the office and locks eyes with me behind the bar. I don’t know how she has the ability to stun me into silence each time I lay eyes on her, but she does. She still looks tired and upset, but no less beautiful. There’s a palpable tension hanging in the air between us. It’s suffocating, making breathing difficult, much like the humid Louisiana air we just left a few days ago. I wait for her to break the silence, but she doesn’t say a single word. Cappy comes out of the office a minute later, staying silent as well. He gives me a nod and leaves the bar. I wonder if he filled her in on our fishing conversation, or if he’s going to let me explain it myself.
Finally, when I think I’m at my breaking point, she speaks. “Thanks again for lunch. I haven’t been eating. Pete’s was a good call.” Her voice is so small. She doesn’t even sound like herself. This is killing me.
I move towards her. I need to comfort her, but she puts her hand up and shakes her head, stopping me in my tracks.
“Jesus, Andi. I didn’t do anything. Please, just let me explain.”
“Not now. Maybe later. Let’s just get through tonight.”
She takes the longest route around the bar in order to avoid physical contact with me and moves to the front doors to unlock them. Slowly, customers trickle in and we avoid each other at all costs. I stay tucked behind the bar and she stays on the floor. Any drink orders she needs, she either gets them herself or asks for them without looking directly at me. My shoulder seems to be her favorite focal point.
When I’m pretty certain things can’t get much worse, Celeste comes in and parks herself right in the middle of the bar. I don’t think I can handle any of her comments, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to hol
d my tongue if she starts anything with me. I feel certain that things would be settled between me and Andi if it weren’t for her.
“I’ll take a Royal Fuck,” she says, shooting daggers my way.
“Excuse me?” I ask, sure that I didn’t hear her right. I see Andi approaching from the corner of my eye.
This is bound to get ugly.
“I asked you for a Royal Fuck. Ah,” she says, tapping her finger against her mouth, “you probably thought I was talking about an actual fuck, not the drink. I just want a drink, Miller. I know you’re more than ready to stick your dick in any willing female, but that’s not what I want from you. You disgust me.”
I slap my hands on the bar top and get in her face. “That’s where you’re wrong. I wouldn’t give it to you, even if you were begging me for it. Oh, wait, I seem to recall you throwing yourself at me when I first rolled into town, but I didn’t give it to you then.”
“That’s before I knew how repulsive you are. You maul my best friend in your hotel room one second and then fuck someone else the next night. Stay away from her.”
“Celeste, shut up,” Andi says, pushing her shoulder and breaking the tension between the two of us.
Celeste turns away from me and looks at Andi. “He needs to know how disgusting he is. I should have never encouraged you to start something with him. He’s a pig.”
I should walk away. I should go tend to the other customers in the bar, but I can’t. I need to hear this play out.
“He told Cappy nothing happened that night. Why would he lie to Cap?”
“Because he wants to get in your panties!” Celeste lowers her voice and leans in close. She’s not quiet enough that I can’t hear her, though. “Andi, ignore every piece of advice I gave you in that hotel room. Don’t listen to anything I’ve encouraged with him in the past. Don’t you dare start anything with Miller. He will break you.”
I’m around the bar before I even know what I’m doing. I grab Andi and drag her across the room and up the stairs to my apartment, hoping Celeste will watch the bar. It’s time to end this. Or start it, as the case may be.
“Do you believe me?” I ask her as soon as I get the door shut to my room.
“Look at me and tell me the truth, Miller. Did you have sex with her?”
“No.”
Her breath hitches with my answer, but her eyes look to the ground, her fingers move to her lip and start pulling. I take her hand and pull her fingers away from her bottom lip. Her face stays angled toward the ground, but her green eyes move up to meet mine.
“Andi, I swear to you, I did not have sex with Hope when we were in New Orleans. I would never do that to you.”
She visibly relaxes at my answer. “I believe you.”
I try to explain further, but she puts her hand over my mouth. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore. Cappy told me what you told him, and I trust that you gave him the real story. I don’t need to hear it again.”
I move her hand, but not before placing a kiss inside the palm. “Thank you.” She goes to move towards the door but I pull on her hand to stop her, shaking my head. “We need to finish a conversation from earlier.”
Her breath hitches, and I know she understands what I’m referring to. The whole atmosphere in the room changes with the mere hint of where this talk is about to go.
“You need to tell me again, Andi, exactly what you told me on that dance floor in New Orleans. I want to hear it again, without any vodka involved.” She closes her wide eyes, but I want her to open them.
“Look at me, Andi. Don’t hide from me.”
Those startling green eyes open and look right into my dark ones. Her breath hitches.
“I would have said ‘yes’.”
“Yes to what? Spell it out for me. I need to fully understand.”
She lets out a deep breath and says the words that I have been waiting to hear, even before I ever knew it. “I would have slept with you the night Bennett brought you back to me. I was ready to give myself to you, just like you were asking.”
It’s my turn to close my eyes. After all these months of craving her, I can’t believe what I’m hearing. There’s no mistaking her meaning. We’re both stone-cold sober. Her intentions couldn’t be any clearer.
“Just that night?” I ask. If that’s not what she wants anymore, I don’t know what I’ll do. I open my eyes and brace for her answer.
She shakes her head, and I take that as permission to kiss her. As soon as my lips touch hers, I know this is right. We are right. She sighs into my mouth and I deepen the kiss. It’s not rushed or desperate, like the last times we shared a kiss. This one is exactly like a first kiss should be. I feel it, flowing through my veins like a bolt of electricity. I feel alive for the first time in months. It’s utter perfection. Her hands move into my hair and grab hold to keep me from pulling away. It’s not necessary. I could stay locked in this kiss forever. Based on the sounds coming from Andi, she could stay here, too.
Eventually, though, we do pull away, the need for air overpowering our need to be together. We stare at each other, grinning like a couple of fools, panting.
“Are we doing this now?” she asks, her eyes dancing with delight, causing me to laugh harder than I have in a while.
I grab the back of her neck and plant a firm kiss on her swollen lips. “Not right now, no. We sort of abandoned the bar.”
“Shit,” she gasps, ripping open my door and rushing down the stairs. I take a few minutes to get my raging erection under control before I follow suit and join her downstairs to finish my shift.
Chapter Nineteen
Andi
“You can’t be serious!?” Celeste screeches from behind the bar, stopping mid- pour, looking at me with a mix of disappointment and ridicule in her eyes. I guess she can tell by the look on my face that Miller and I weren’t just having a friendly conversation upstairs.
“As a heart attack,” I shoot back. My eyes automatically drift towards the staircase in the corner of the bar, still in shock over the scene that I was just a part of a few minutes earlier. In the blink of an eye, everything has changed.
“Well, don’t come crying to me when he breaks you. I’m warning you now, Andi, this is gonna get ugly. I don’t trust him anymore.” Her words are harsh, but her eyes are shining with sympathy and concern. She’s always looking out for me, despite what she’s saying.
“I’ll be fine,” I tell her, pulling her into my arms. “I trust him, and that’s all that matters.”
I feel the air shift when he enters the bar. The electricity I tend to feel when his hands are on me is crackling in the air all around me. My skin is buzzing with anticipation of what I know is coming. It’s not just wishful thinking anymore…it’s coming to fruition and the next few hours are going to be torture until it becomes my reality.
“If the two of you can manage to keep yourselves downstairs and keep your hands off each other, I think I’ll head home.” Celeste looks at me and tries to give me a stern look. “I’ll see you there, alone, later.”
“Yes, Mom.”
Miller laughs as she walks out the doors. “Will she be sitting on the porch with a shotgun in her lap when I walk you home tonight?”
“It’s highly likely.”
He brushes his hand over mine before taking his place behind the bar and I feel it in every part of my body.
That sweet torture continues through the night. Each time we are near each other, Miller makes it a point to touch me. It’s always the simplest kind of touch, nothing different than he’s ever done in the past, but each small touch is so powerful that it stops me in my tracks. Each simple touch carries the promise of more. I know what those touches are going to lead to. They are the most innocent kind of foreplay I’ve ever been involved in. My entire relationship with Miller has been the most innocent kind of foreplay.
When I don’t think I can take much more, the last customers leave, and Miller follows them to the doors to lock up for the nigh
t. All night, I’ve been fantasizing about him throwing me down on the bar when we have the place to ourselves and him having his way with me. In reality, he goes to the back of the bar and comes out with a mop and bucket.
He’s mopping? Seriously?!
After he can practically see his reflection in the floor he steps back behind the bar and starts wiping down each and every liquor bottle with such care and precision that you would think he was handling a newborn baby. When he gets out Cappy’s clipboard and starts to inventory the beer in the cooler, I lose it.
“Miller! What are you doing?”
He holds up a list that shows Cappy’s recognizable scrawl. “Cap left me a to-do list today. I figured now was as good a time as any to get started on it. I’m not really that tired.”
I huff, and the bastard smirks at me, his dark eyes ablaze with humor. “What? Did you want something? Are you ready to leave? I can walk you home and come back.”
He’s not seriously gonna make me ask him for it, is he? As soon as I grab my lip between my forefinger and my thumb Miller comes around from behind the bar and has me in his arms.
“I swear, Andi, every time you pull on that lip I want to pull it between my teeth and suck on it.”
He proceeds to demonstrate exactly what he means. We get involved in the most delicious battle over my bottom lip. He’s teasing me, nipping and biting at my mouth. I want him to stop playing with me and just give me what I want.
Geez, when did I become such a hussy?
I pull away from him, struggling to find my breath. “You’re not really doing inventory on the beer tonight, are you?”
“I thought we already agreed on what was happening tonight.”
He plants a soft kiss on my mouth and puts his hands on my waist, guiding me towards the stairs. As we close in on our destination and I glance up at the door to his apartment, the reality of the situation hits me. I struggle to breathe again, but this time it’s not from lust, it’s from the panic washing over my body at what I’m about to do. I stop walking and peek down at my wedding band. Grabbing onto the railing, my body slumps against the wall and I close my eyes, trying to get my growing anxiety under control. I want this, I just don’t know if I can actually go through with it. My vocal cords are paralyzed with fear.
The Promise of More: The Home Series, Book Three Page 14
