by Jenny Kane
Hey Jack. Words not flowing. Coffee? Kx
Two minutes later she got a reply.
Sounds good, but over at Ashford’s. Can you come here? Jx
What a surprise, Kit thought ironically. Toby must be at work. A concept that Jack worried about less and less these days. Kit weighed it up. Did she really fancy crossing London for a cup of coffee? Chances were she’d get no sense out of Jack if he was watching Toby in flirty waiter mode. Not the best time or place to share her concerns about Amy.
Sorry. Need to get kids soon. Maybe tomo? Kx
Tomo good. Old haunt 1pm? Jx
Kit smiled. Maybe it would actually just be the two of them. It suddenly felt like an extremely long time since they’d had time alone together.
Great. Tomo then Kx
Amy’s mobile vibrated in her apron pocket. Gathering up some dirty plates she headed through to the kitchen. Dumping the tray down, she fished out her phone. Colour flushed through her cheeks and a broad grin settled onto her face.
‘Good news?’ Scott glanced over to her from his seat by the cooker, relieved to see a genuinely happy expression on her face for the first time in ages.
Amy re-read the text from Rob.
Paul will call ASAP with visiting date. In Nepal at moment. Come and share takeaway tonight? R x
‘Yes thanks. Very good.’ Amy started to hum happily to herself as she stacked the crockery haphazardly into the dishwasher, before sending a very positive reply.
Forty-nine
January 6th 2007
‘So have you got a rough plan together yet?’ Kit took a giant bite of cake, wiping icing from her lips as she did so.
‘The trip you mean?’
Kit nodded. Her mouth was too full to risk an audible response.
‘Sort of. We’ve spent hours surfing the Internet for deals and ideas.’
Feeling she could now safely speak without spraying the area with crumbs, Kit prompted, ‘And?’
‘We’ve booked a flight into Barcelona on the 1st February, and a coach across to Tarragona.’
‘Have you told your Dad that you’re coming?’
‘Coming out or coming over?’ Kit winced at the terrible joke as Jack topped up his cup from the cafetière they were sharing. ‘No. That’s the tricky bit. If I tell Dad I’m bringing someone, he’ll assume it’s a girl, making it even harder when I turn up with Toby.’
‘And I guess you don’t want to tell them you’re gay over the phone.’
‘No way! That has to be done in person. It may be awful, doing the confession bit, but I owe Dad that.’
‘I agree,’ Kit’s expression showed her approval; she’d been worried that Jack would just drop his father an email or something. ‘Any other way would be cruel.’
‘So, we’ve decided to book a hotel room nearby, then I’ll go and surprise them at the villa, and if all goes well, I’ll introduce Dad and Jane to Toby. If not, we’ll head off on our travels earlier than hoped.’
Kit gathered her hair away from her face, stuffing it into a stubby pony tail, with the elastic tie she always wore around her wrist. ‘How does Toby feel about this?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Will he mind having a day, maybe two, alone?’
Jack was confused. ‘Why would he be on his own? We’re going together.’
‘Oh come on Jack, don’t be dense.’ Kit couldn’t believe his short sightedness, ‘You can’t turn up unannounced after not seeing your Dad for over a year and dive straight in. They’ll want to chat, catch up, and eat meals and things. You know; normal family stuff.’
‘I hadn’t thought of that.’
‘Obviously.’ Kit despaired of him sometimes.
Suddenly preoccupied, Jack began to tap rhythmically at the rim of his cup, ‘Kit, can I ask you something?’
‘Sure?’
‘Do you think I’m selfish?’
His question caught Kit off guard. ‘Why do you ask that?’
Jack ran his hands over his face, ‘Ah. So you mean the answer is yes.’
‘No!’ Kit regarded him carefully, and decided on the truth. ‘You can be very self-absorbed sometimes. That’s not the same as selfish.’
Jack looked winded. He’d assumed Kit would say “of course not” without even thinking. ‘What’s the difference then?’
‘Selfish is pure thoughtlessness. Self-absorbed isn’t ill intentioned. With you I think it’s become a form of self-defence.’
Jack laughed, no longer surprised by her insight, ‘Thanks. I think.’
‘Why did you ask me?’
Jack put his cup down and sat up straight, a guarded expression on his face. ‘Something Toby said. We had a bit of a row about stuff and well, it made me start thinking about Amy.’
‘That’s why I wanted to see you.’
‘I know.’
‘You did?’ Now Kit was surprised, Jack didn’t normally notice how other people felt. Not so self-absorbed these days then.
‘I’m worried about her. She nods and smiles when Toby’s talking, says all the right things. Amy always engages Toby in conversation, asks polite and interested questions. She even joins in with Toby, laughing and joking at my expense.’
Jack waved his hands around as he told Kit how he’d sat back for a few moments the other day and watched Amy and Toby interact. ‘They have stuff in common, they like the same things. They could have been friends for weeks, months even. And yet I’m not convinced.’
‘Amy’s like that, though.’ Kit licked some stray sugar from her fingers. ‘It’s the same at Pickwicks. She talks to customers she’s never met before like she’s known them for all her life.’
Jack shrugged, ‘How am I supposed to know if she’s really pleased for me? If she does like Toby, or if she’s just being, well, Amy?’
‘Of course she likes him, he’s lovely.’
‘But how can you be sure? You know how well she does the interested stranger bit.’
Kit considered for a moment. ‘I can’t explain it Jack, but I’m sure that Amy would have let you know if she didn’t like him.’
‘I guess so.’ Jack still appeared troubled
Kit pre-empted his next statement, ‘But?’
‘That doesn’t mean she’s pleased for me, does it, even if she does like him?’
Kit felt on stony ground here, what could she say? How could she explain what she suspected Amy was feeling? It wasn’t that long ago that she had felt pushed aside by Amy herself. Now Toby was unwittingly doing the same to Amy. ‘I know Amy likes Toby. She told me she did, but I suspect that she is a bit low, that’s all.’
‘Low?’
Kit moved closer to Jack, using the voice she adopted with the twins when they had a difficult maths problem to sort out, ‘Think about it. It must have taken a hell of a lot of guts to come to London after all those years cut off from her friends in self-imposed exile. No sooner is she back and freshly re-instated with you as her main confidant, when her status with you, albeit on a different footing than before, is jeopardised all over again.’
Jack trailed a finger around the rim of his cup, ‘I suppose that makes sense. What can I do though? This thing with Toby, well it feels …’ he hesitated, not daring to say the words. ‘It may well not work out, but I can’t not try. I can’t not …’
‘Of course not! You have to go for it. Amy would kill you if you didn’t, and she’d feel guilty as hell if she knew she’d got in the way of having the chance of, well …’ Kit searched for a phrase that wouldn’t make Jack panic, ‘… a period of happiness.’
‘But I thought she wanted me single, so she could keep having me to herself.’ Jack sounded confused.
‘Don’t be daft! Amy is a bit low, that’s all. She isn’t stupid. You’re gay, for heaven’s sake, and she doesn’t have a problem with that.’ Indignant on Amy’s behalf, Kit said, ‘Amy would love you to be happy and settled. I think it’s the timing that’s a bit crap from her point of view, that’s all.’
Jack sat up; he looked hopeful, ‘Is that what she said then?’
Feeling like the piggy-in-the-middle, Kit saw how Rob must have felt when he was at university dealing with the Jack-and-Amy fallout, ‘Not exactly, but I know that she’s happy you’re happy. I also know she genuinely likes Toby. She just feels a bit out of it.’
‘But I’ve included her; she’s met Toby a few times now!’
Kit spoke patiently, as if she was again explaining some difficult homework to the twins. ‘How many times have you seen her on your own since you told her about Toby?’
‘Well … I haven’t actually had much time lately, I …’ Jack finally understood. ‘She feels left out.’
‘Yes.’
‘I’ll call her; see if she wants to come out with me and Toby tonight.’
‘No!’ Kit groaned. ‘Just when I think you’ve got it! She needs to see you. You. Her friend. Not on your own every time, but sometimes. She needs to be reminded she’s still needed. God knows Amy isn’t overly endowed in the confidence area.’
Seeing she had Jack’s full attention, Kit seized her opportunity, ‘I feel a bit the same if you’re interested. The difference is I know it won’t always be like this, but Amy doesn’t. ‘
‘Why won’t it be always like this?’ He looked confused again.
‘As relationships go on it’s nice to spend time apart, as much as it’s nice to be together. Amy has never been in a lasting relationship. She doesn’t know that yet. I don’t suppose you did either!’
Jack shuddered, ‘I daren’t think long-term like that.’
‘Of course you don’t, but, as we’ve said, you can’t not think like that either.’
Jack drained the last of the cooling coffee into their cups. ‘The thing is,’ he eyed Kit warily, deciding whether or not to continue, but realising it was probably too late to backtrack anyway said, ‘I’m worried that Amy’s holding it all in. I’m afraid she’ll explode, like you did. I don’t want her to spend years suppressing it all. I know that sounds arrogant but, well …’
‘Ah.’ There was nothing else Kit could say.
Fifty
January 15th 2007
Kit fiddled with her napkin as she let her eyes stray to the window for what seemed like the hundredth time. Phil was late. She wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not.
The waiter came over for a second visit. ‘A top-up of wine while you wait, madam?’
Kit was sorely tempted, but declined, wanting to keep a clear head for the conversation that lay ahead.
The little Italian restaurant was quieter today, but then it was already almost two o’clock, and most of the lunchtime diners had already returned to work or hit the shops, enjoying the tail end of the New Year sales.
Phil began to jog. The meeting with Chris had taken much longer than he’d anticipated, and he hadn’t wanted to delay things further by stopping to phone Kit. She’d understand in the circumstances. He felt lightheaded as he weaved through the afternoon shoppers, and finally made it to the door of the restaurant. It didn’t seem a minute since the lunchtime when Kit had shared her plan with him. On the other hand, it seemed a lifetime ago.
Standing up in relief as she saw Phil push his way through the door, Kit hadn’t realised how nervous she was until he was moving towards her. Were they celebrating, or was this meal a re-grouping exercise, a chance to discuss alternative plans and options?
The waiter appeared before they could speak. Kit quickly ordered the same meals as they’d enjoyed on their previous visit. ‘So?’
Phil took hold of both Kit’s hands. ‘I’ve done it.’
‘Done it?’ She hardly dared breathe.
‘Yes. Chris loved the idea.’
‘He did!’ Kit got up and flung herself at her husband, ‘Oh Phil, that’s fantastic. Tell me everything.’
As they munched their way through lunch, Phil became more and more animated as he described to Kit how excited Chris had been by their plans. He was thrilled to think he’d have more interest and influence in the company’s direction, without the pressure of sole responsibility. He also knew his wife would be impressed with the idea of his having an extra day home a week, even if it meant marginally longer hours the rest of the time.
‘That’s why I’m so late; Chris had a heap of questions. Not least about how we’d manage with me taking a small director’s salary, and who his new partner would be.’
Kit sat up straighter, ‘But I thought …?’
‘Yes, Amy, I know.’ Phil looked uncomfortable, ‘Chris is worried that they might not get on. He doesn’t want me to offer her the job without him having the chance to meet Amy first. Chris wants to run an interview.’
‘An interview!’ Kit raised her voice, disappointment coursing through her. She’s been so sure the job was Amy’s for the taking.
‘Don’t worry! I’m sure they’ll get on fine. I’m going to arrange an interview for her as soon as I can.’
‘Oh hell, what if Chris doesn’t like her?’
Determined to stem the rising tide of his wife’s bluster, Phil said, ‘Have you stopped to think that Amy might not want to work for Home Hunters?’
Kit stared at him. Phil was right; it hadn’t even occurred to her that Amy might not be keen. She’d been so sure it would solve every ones problems.
‘You have to admit it would be totally unfair on Chris to dump him with a partner he hasn’t even met.’
‘I suppose,’ Kit pushed her salad around her plate, ‘I’m convinced she’d be great though. You should see her with the customers at Pickwicks, she treats them like friends. Even the ones she can’t stand or hasn’t met before.’
Phil spoke with a placating tone, ‘I’m sure you’re right. Don’t worry. I’ve really talked her up. Chris is dead keen to meet her.’
Kit looked worried, ‘I didn’t want to have to tell Amy about the job unless it was a certainty. What if we build her up and then it doesn’t happen. I’m not sure she could cope with further rejection right now.’
Phil took a draft of water. ‘How’s she coping with the news of Jack’s imminent departure?’
‘Difficult to tell,’ Kit dabbed some stray salad dressing from her cheek with a serviette, ‘I’ve hardly spoken to her since the news broke. Pickwicks has been packed with New Year shoppers, I’ve been submerged in my writing, and each time I mention Jack she changes the subject.’
Phil plunged a fork into his crisp lasagne, ‘You know, perhaps we could get round the interview idea.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘What if I treat Chris to a celebratory lunch at Pickwicks?’
A broad smile settled across Kit’s face. ‘That’s perfect! Amy always treats the customers well, even if she feels dreadful herself.’
‘So you keep saying. I could get her talking. Then afterwards I’ll see what Chris thinks.’
‘Should we tell Amy, or not?’ Kit frowned uncertainly.
‘No.’ Phil was firm. ‘That way, if Chris doesn’t like her, it’ll go no further, and she’ll be none the wiser. It probably won’t be enough to secure Amy the job, but it seems a good place to start.’
Kit nodded, ‘I think I’ll tell Peggy if you don’t mind, that way she’ll understand if Amy seems to be spending a long time at your table. Anyway, we owe her an explanation if we’re going to try and poach her only member of staff.’
‘Agreed.’ Phil continued to scrape his bowl clean. ‘Can you reserve me a table for Wednesday lunchtime?’
‘Wednesday? Why not tomorrow?’
‘Because,’ Phil held his hands up at his wife’s impatience, ‘tomorrow I have a meeting with our biggest client. I need to explain the shape of things to come. It seems politic to do it in person as he provides most of the company’s regular income.’
‘Oh God! This is all too grown-up for me!’
‘Tell me about it.’ Phil laid down his cutlery, ‘Now, I think we’ve deserved a proper drink, and then perhaps I can tel
l you about another idea that’s jumping around my head?’
‘That would be great love, there’s just one tiny snag.’ Kit gathered up her coat, as if to go.
‘What’s that?’
‘The twins finish school in twenty minutes, and I’m half an hour away.’
‘Shit!’
Phil gathered up his jacket and frantically gestured for the bill.
Fifty-one
January 16th 2007
‘So Jack and Toby babysat for you last night?’ Peggy was extracting cinnamon pastries from a huge Tupperware and balancing them on top of each other inside the cake counter.
Kit nodded, ‘Yes. It was at rather short notice, but as they’ll be disappearing into the wide blue yonder soon, and as Jack definitely owes me one, if not several, I was sure they wouldn’t refuse.’
Peggy moved onto arranging the cream cakes, ‘What did Helena and Tom make of Toby?’
‘Tom’s grunt was possibly one of approval, it’s tough to tell. Helena on the other hand said he was cool and funny.’
‘Praise indeed.’
‘Quite.’
Kit had turned up at Pickwicks earlier than usual to see Peggy before Amy arrived. She had already explained Phil’s plan, and after the obligatory teasing about stealing her waitress, Peggy had agreed to reserve a table for Phil the following day.
‘Why the rushed night out then? Talking over company plans?’ Peggy pushed a broom into Kit’s hands. ‘Be a love and sweep up behind the counter, I didn’t get time to do it last night.’
Kit took the brush and set to work while Peggy arranged clean cups and saucers onto the shelves by the coffee machines. ‘Phil has had an idea about what he’d like to do next. I had a feeling he was cooking something up.’
‘And?’ Peggy turned and started to wipe some trays.
‘He’s come up with a business plan for a shop.’
‘A shop? Phil?’
‘That was my reaction at first, but it’s not so mad really. He always said the best bit about Home Hunters was interacting with the public.’
‘What sort of shop does he fancy setting up then? Not a café I hope.’
