by Laney Kaye
I didn’t look, but I could tell he’d changed back from his liger form. Dressed, too, from the thud of his shoes hitting the tile floor.
He followed me inside my tiny room. Crossing the short space to my bed, I sat on the edge. Clenched my hands into fists on my thighs. Might as well get this over with. He would chastise me—which I so truly deserved—then he’d tell me that whatever we’d started was over.
I’d asked for his help but sent my own people to their deaths.
Herc and I were through before we’d properly kissed.
That tiny fact shouldn’t hurt so much, but the realization that we’d never touch each other again weighed me down like blood-covered rubble.
I’d miss him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, dropping down to sit beside me on the bed.
I couldn’t look at him, but the disappointment in his voice rang through.
“I…I murdered them.” Holding my face with my hands, I gave in to my sobs. My shoulders curled forward as if I could escape inside myself forever. Hide.
“Maya. Please.” Rising from the bed, he knelt down in front of me and pulled my hands away. He cradled my face. “Look at me.”
Why wasn’t he furious? Not only had I stupidly led my people to their deaths, but I’d forced him to risk his own men to save them.
“You didn’t do anything but try to help them,” he said. “The damn Regime is the only murderer here. If they’d never come to Glia, imprisoned your people, this couldn’t have happened. Maya, there’s collateral damage in every battle. I’ve seen it myself more times than any man should. But you gave your friends a chance at freedom, something they didn’t have before.”
“They died on the fence. Burned alive!” My body shook with pain and distress. “I don’t even know if my sister made it out. I couldn’t find her among the survivors. What if she ran into the fence? The fence I didn’t warn them about?”
“Sister?” His voice was a low growl. “Gods, you didn’t tell me your sister was in there.” His words were suddenly urgent, and he grasped my upper arms. “Was she blond? Similar build to yours?”
I nodded as more grief spread through me. No. It couldn’t be. Please.
He jerked away from me, his face suddenly immobile, as though he didn’t trust himself to blink. “I’m sorry.”
“No!” I wailed. Shock and self-disgust ripped through me again, severing something vital deep in my soul. I curled forward, wrapping my arms around my belly, which ached and churned.
When I’d reached the bombed-out prison, I’d looked for her everywhere. Growing more frantic. With each moment I didn’t see her dear face, my heart rose further up into my throat to choke me. No matter where I looked, I couldn’t find her. I’d hoped, prayed that she’d be hiding inside the building or even lying injured somewhere. Still alive.
But it was as if she’d disappeared into thin air.
Or been fried on the fence.
Bile surged up from my stomach and I rushed around Herc and into my tiny bathroom, where I heaved. Over and over, until nothing remained in my gut but misery. I rinsed my mouth and then lifted my head. My eyes—filled with overwhelming horror—stared back at me in the mirror. I’d done this. To my friends. To the other half of me, my sister.
Returning to the room, I crumpled on the side of the bed. Herc sat and wrapped me up in his arms, but his warmth couldn’t cut through the ice spreading through my core.
“She didn’t make it out,” Herc said softly, his voice filled with unspeakable sorrow.
How could he know that? Unless…unless hers was one of the bodies he’d carried out into the open. The ones he’d growled over and then torn apart, using them to convince the Regime he was still solidly on their side.
“It’s my fault.” My voice came out shrill. Unable to hold myself upright, I collapsed onto the bed. “I killed my sister!”
“You didn’t. Sweetheart.” He climbed onto the bed at my back and wrapped his arms around me.
I couldn’t believe I’d never laugh with my twin sister again, never share my life with her. “Why didn’t I feel it when she died?” My words came out monotone as grief tore me to shreds. I stared blankly at the wall beside the bed, my vision blurring with tears. “Shouldn’t a twin know when half of her soul is severed from her body?”
Selina.
I couldn’t bear this…this emptiness spreading through the place inside me she’d filled with love.
Gathering me against him, Herc’s words rumbled near my ear. “You were close.”
“From the second we were born.” It hurt to smile, even at the memories. “Born three minutes before me, she was the oldest, and boy, she never let me forget it. We looked out for each other after our parents died. Had each other’s backs during every desert battle.” My laugh came out without a speck of humor. “I used to tease her when I’d catch her slanting her eyes at a cute guy. We’d giggle about it later. And stay up late sharing our dreams. Of a future we’ll now never have. Because I murdered her.” I couldn’t catch my breath. It choked inside my crushed lungs. How could I go on without my sister?
Herc held me. Rocked me. While bitter tears poured down my face, soaking my pillow.
Eventually, I sniffed and found a way to control myself. I couldn’t keep breaking down like this. I had to be strong. Find a way to go on—alone.
Selina would want me to make it, even if she would no longer be at my side.
And there could still be Resistance fighters inside the compound. I’d have to help them escape. It could be my sole purpose for surviving.
I rolled over to face Herc, and he stared at me with so much torment in his expression, new tears sprang up in my eyes.
“No one would ever call you anything but heroic,” he said. “Seems you infiltrated behind enemy lines with as much skill as a mercenary. You smuggled explosives into the jail. And you stood with the survivors until they could escape. Those aren’t the actions of a murderer. You risked everything to save your people.”
I couldn’t believe what he seemed to be saying. “You don’t blame me?”
“Never.” His gaze fell from mine, while his fingers stroked my hair. “I thought…well, when you fled the prison, ran from me, I thought you believed I’d murdered your people and ripped them apart.”
His words drew me out of the shell I’d encased around my heart. He was concerned about what I thought of him? “I saw a courageous man doing everything he could to save those who’d made it through the explosion.” Exhausted, the words stumbled out of me. “And the care you took with Brand—the boy—It…broke my heart.”
He pulled me against his chest and rested his chin on the top of my head. “I don’t ever want to break your heart.” Intensity came through in his gruff voice.
He could, though. My heart was tender, softened from his kindness, his touch, his understanding. I was so close to falling for him that it stung worse than the jabs of a million wasps. But could he ever feel the same?
Everything that happened today caught up with me, and I sagged with weariness. I could barely keep my eyes open.
“You need to sleep, Maya,” he said softly. “You’re exhausted. In the morning, we’ll make sure everyone got away.”
“If they didn’t?”
“We’ll get them out. Together.”
Together.
“Herc, I don’t want to be alone. Will you stay with me?” Not that I wanted to have sex, although my worn-out body still craved his touch. But, because, if I closed my eyes, I would see my sister’s face. The shadows of blood and death and charred flesh would haunt my dreams.
“I want to be with you.” His chest rose and fell, and the steady thud of his heart against my cheek reassured and lulled me. We curled together on my bed, two becoming one. “Sleep, sweetheart. I’ll keep everyone and everything at bay.”
Sleep had been a slim commodity since I’d arrived at the compound. How could I rest knowing my disguise might be discovered at any moment? But here,
now, with Herc holding me close, I almost felt cherished. Loved.
Which was silly. We barely knew each other.
Yet, my heart insisted time meant nothing when you found your soulmate.
Herc rubbed my back and hummed. Something soft. And horribly off-key. But it was sweet.
I fell asleep in his arms.
#
My com beeped, jolting me awake. Lifting it off my bedside table, I slipped it around my ear, where it blended in with my hair.
Herc stirred beside me, and his eyes opened. His amber depths pulled me in. How could I be falling for this man after such a short time?
Facing me, he smiled. “Hey,” he said softly. “How’d you sleep?”
Horribly. I kept seeing my sister’s face, knowing I’d been partly responsible for her death. I shrugged, unable to speak the words.
He stroked my hair, letting the strands slide through his fingers. “Such a beautiful color. Reminds me of the golden fields of Jaffa, high in the Titen Mountains. I used to roam through them when I was a kid.”
I wanted him to keep talking because I wanted to know everything about him, from how he’d grown up, if he had family, and what it was like to change into his liger form. There’d never be enough time for me to discover everything about him.
He moved nearer, until our hearts were so close they seemed to thump together. Staring down at me, his pupils dilated.
A fever rushed through me. Despite the fact that I should be mourning, flaying myself alive for my actions that resulted in Selina’s death, I couldn’t stop myself from touching him.
From reaching out to life in this time of death.
My fingers moved down from his hair to the back of his neck.
I urged him closer. I wanted him. Any way he’d have me. Even if it was only for this moment.
A chance to forget.
“Maya,” he said, his gruff voice drawing the two syllables out in a growl.
He lowered his head and his lips captured mine.
Fire engulfed me, not just from the warmth of his mouth or his tongue parting my lips to plunder inside. Stronger than the electricity I’d felt when he first touched me at the medical center, this heat seared my veins like lightning, scorching everywhere it touched.
Moaning, I wrapped my arms around his neck, stroked his hair, his shoulders. I arched my hips forward, my body seeking his.
I’d never kissed anyone like this before, never felt anything like Herc’s touch before. Greedy, I drank in his mouth, savoring the weight of his body on mine. His rock-hard cock probed my thigh. I needed more.
He lifted his head and tightened his arms around me. The smile filling his face made me want to weep with unexpected joy.
How could I feel even a small burst of happiness during a sad time like this? But just as a tiny flower finds a way to grow in dry desert soil, so had my heart found a way to flourish in this stark, cruel compound.
My love for this man had caught me unaware, sweeping me up like a leaf in a summer rainstorm.
A fist banged on the door, making me jump.
Herc groaned. He released me and rolled onto his back.
“Hey, boss,” someone shouted. “You in there?”
“’Course he’s in there,” someone else said with laughter in his voice. “She’s in there, so he’s in there. You two aren’t doing anything we wouldn’t, are you?”
More laughter.
Great. Now his crew knew we’d spent the night together. Not that we’d done anything, but still.
“Hey,” the first voice said. “This is so not the time, dude. As it is, we’re going to have to do some covert ops to find you those twenty-four hours you’re going to need soon.”
“Man,” another voice said. “I envy him. Twenty-four-fuckin’-hours.”
“Literally,” snorted another.
“Couldn’t happen to a better guy,” someone else said.
Frowning, I sat up, staring down at Herc. He raked his fingers through his hair. The glance he cut my way looked a little guilty. Why? “What do they mean by twenty-four hours?” I asked. Was that some sort of magical number for these guys?
Herc shifted over to the side of the bed and stuffed his feet inside his shoes. Sometime during the night, he’d removed his shirt. I drank in the play of muscles on his chest and back and ached to drag him back onto the bed so I could stroke every fine ripple and ridge. I wanted to trace his tattoos while I was at it. And tug off his pants and do some further exploring. We’d barely gotten started.
Standing, he stretched and groaned.
“Now, none of that groanin’ stuff,” someone called from outside. He snickered. “Save it for later. And let us in!”
“Damn shifters,” Herc grumbled as he crossed the room and swung open the door. “What do you want?”
Three guys crowded inside, pushing past him. They paused in my tiny kitchen, shuffling their feet, confined by the small space.
“Maya,” Herc said. He waved to the men, who gave me matching broad grins. “You’ve probably seen my guys around the compound but let me introduce you.” He gestured to the quietest of the bunch, who stood taking everything in, ice-blue eyes contrasting with his jet hair. “This is Jag.” Herc slapped the arm of the man who stared at me intently, as if he could determine the kind of person I was just by mapping my face. “He’s been with my crew for years. Best damn hunter in the pack. He’s a Jaguarkin.”
A jaguar?
Without waiting for an introduction, the second man approached. His dark hair flopped forward, covering one of his gorgeous, deep brown eyes, and he flicked it back with a quick jerk of his head. Bowing in front of me, he took my hand and lowered his head to kiss the back.
Silly, really. Like something the royalty did ages ago on my planet. Back when women wore long, flowing dresses and swept up their hair. And didn’t live in caves.
“I’m Khal. Cheetahkin,” he said in a deep gravelly voice. He cocked his head Herc’s way. “You sure she’s already taken? ’Cause I’d be glad to—”
Herc growled, his eyes narrowing.
Khal just laughed. “Don’t worry about him,” he said to me. “His growl is worse than his bite. Wait. Liger. Maybe it isn’t.” He released my hand and stepped back, saying to Herc, “I get it, bro. Not a worry. Only checking and you can rest assured, there was no buzz.”
“Buzz?” I asked. “You mean tingle? You know about the tingle?” I gazed back and forth between Khal, who still wore a grin that suggested he knew something I didn’t, to Herc, who, for some reason, was clenching his jaw.
“Honey,” Khal boomed. “We all live for the tingle.”
Standing, I advanced on him, narrowing my eyes. “Tell me what it means.”
“That, sweet she-cat, is for Herc to explain, not I.” He bowed again and joined Jag near the door.
A third man shouldered his way past Herc. Pausing, he stared down at me. “I’m Leo.” He tilted his head toward Herc. “Hot damn, Herc, but she’s tiny. How you going to make it f—”
“I’m well aware of that fact.” Herc crossed his forearms on his chest. “And it’s none of your damn business.” His scowl took them all in. “What do you guys want, anyway?”
“Just dropped by to meet the missus,” Khal chuckled.
“Don’t even go there,” I grumbled. An undercurrent of…something ran through the room, but understanding it felt just beyond my reach.
Leo snorted. “I think you need to do a little explaining here, Herc. I’m not sure your bondma—”
Herc jabbed Leo’s side, hard enough the other man’s breath woofed out. Herc lifted his chin toward me. “I’ll explain later.”
“Explain what?” I asked. What was going on here?
“You kissed her yet?” Khal asked.
“Yes,” Herc said in a clipped tone.
Khal whooped. “Hot damn, man. Way to go.”
Leo shook his head. “Didn’t waste any time on that one.”
Jag looked concerned, his
brow furrowed as he stared at Herc.
Khal turned to me. “So, the rest is up to you, Maya. You name the time and the place, and we’ll make sure Herc’s schedule is cleared for action.” Shaking his head, he nudged Herc with his shoulder, an action enough to lay me flat, though Herc didn’t even flinch. “Damn, but I envy you.”
And what did all that mean?
“Where’s Spike, anyway?” Herc asked.
Jag nudged his head toward the east—the compound wall. “Went with the insurg—well, the Resistance, that is. Wanted to make sure they weren’t followed.”
“Good,” Herc said. “We should see him back by nightfall.”
“We’ll leave you two alone, then,” Khal said with another grin. He nodded toward the door. “Come on, boys. Let’s see if we can go scrounge up some grub. Right now, I could eat an entire beetric. Or maybe a little faux Pantherkin.”
Jag chuckled. “Don’t reckon that’s on your menu.” Before he followed Leo outside and shut the door, he winked at me. “We’ll see you around, Maya.”
I studied Herc, whose face gave nothing away. “What was all that about, anyway?”
Herc wrapped his arms around me, but his words came out tight. “I need to explain one of our customs.”
Leaning back in his embrace, I frowned up at him. “Customs regarding what?” My com went off before he could answer. “Yes?” I said into it.
“I know your shift hasn’t started yet, but can you get down here right away? The medical center is jam-packed.”
Crap. I should’ve gone there last night. Why hadn’t I thought of the wounded who might need my help?
“I’ve got to go,” I said, pulling out of Herc’s arms.
“I should go, too,” he said. Grabbing his shirt from the foot of the bed, he pulled it over his head. “I’ll come by for you at the medical center later?”
“Yes.” Striding over to him, I hugged him. “Thank you for last night. For understanding and for staying with me. I still…” Tears swam in my eyes all over again, for Selina.
“Anytime.”
