by Cara Albany
Finally, the kiss ended and she sat up and tried to compose herself. Worry tugged at her. She tried to convince herself that all she was concerned about was the well-being of the people back at the camp. But she knew that wasn't strictly true. There was something else tugging at her awareness. A quiet voice of doubt that she desperately wanted to ignore.
He raised himself alongside her on the sofa. She felt herself stiffen involuntarily as he settled alongside her. She couldn't explain why she'd done that. She wondered if he'd noticed. One look into his eyes told her the answer to that question. Of course he'd noticed. It was as if he was attuned to her every shift in mood, to her every thought.
There was a sudden awkwardness between them now. His tender kiss, and the promise of his desire, had not prevented that awkwardness from taking hold of them.
Amber stood and straightened her dress. Sayid stood and faced her. He gazed at her steadily, an obvious curiosity in his eyes. She could see he wanted to ask her something. Before he had a chance, she moved quickly to the doors that led out onto the terrace.
She pulled back the curtain and gazed out. The storm had subsided as quickly as it had appeared. All that remained was a thin, swirling cloud of dust. But it was nothing like it had been only a short while ago. The storm had deposited a layer of sand on the terrace. The worst of it was past, she told herself.
Sayid came alongside her and gazed out. "It's over," he said.
Amber peered at him. "That means I can leave," she said.
She saw a shadow descend upon his features. "So soon?" he asked.
"I have to go back," she explained. "I don't know what has happened at the compound. They probably need me."
He lifted a hand and placed it beneath her chin. He gazed into her eyes. "Must you leave so quickly?" he asked.
She swallowed. There was something about the way he looked at her that made all of her common sense and rational thought evaporate from her mind. Was this what he could do to her? Turn her into something she could barely recognize?
"I have to go, Sayid," she said.
Uttering his name seemed to trigger something in him. He smiled and leaned forward and kissed her. She lifted her head up to him, offering herself. The kiss was tender and gentle. Perhaps he thought this would persuade her to change her mind.
Their lips parted and she turned her head away from him. She could see the darkening sky as the sun was beginning to set near the horizon. It would be dark soon. "Can you call the limo for me?" she asked.
He sighed heavily. She saw his shoulders stiffen and his jaw tighten. Impatience had taken hold of him and he was having a hard time dealing with it.
"Stay a while longer," he said slowly.
"I can't, Sayid," she said. "You know that."
He sighed again. There was a sudden darkness in his eyes. She felt a momentary unease. How could he not realize she had duties to perform? And that those duties were to benefit people who he considered his own.
"Your people need me," she said.
He squinted at her and tilted his head. "My people?"
She nodded. "Isn't that how you think of them?"
"They're not strictly my possession," he said. "My family has ruled in this province for centuries. But, this is the modern world now. I don't have any obligation to the people of Meriyah."
For a moment she was taken aback by that statement. "That isn't what I've heard when I've talked with some of the townsfolk," she explained. "They think the world of you."
His gaze darkened. He turned away from her. "All I care about, right now, is having you with me."
She frowned. "You're not telling me that you're turning your back on the townsfolk, just because I'm here," she said incredulously.
He faced her. "That is exactly what I'm saying. Now that you're back, nothing else matters to me."
She felt her mouth open in shock. For a long moment all she could do was stare at him. "I don't believe you," she snapped eventually.
He moved closer. She could see the steady determination in his dark eyes. "You must believe me, Amber," he said. He reached out to touch her, but she moved away from him. His eyes widened in disbelief that she would reject him like that. "You are everything to me."
"You can't be serious, Sayid," she retorted. "You know how much those people rely on you. What you mean to them."
There was a sudden madness in his eyes. A look she hadn't seen before. It was as if she had taken possession of him. Turned him into something unrecognizable. Was he really willing to sacrifice everything for her? Even his duty as a sheikh and lord of this province?
"I don't want you to do that, Sayid," she said. "Those people deserve the best."
He advanced toward her. Now he was close enough that he could take hold of her if he wished. But she gave him a look which made sure that he would keep his distance from her. Just to make sure, she wrapped her arms defensively around herself.
"They will still have what they need," he declared. His eyes widened. "And I must have what I need." He lowered his head and gazed at her. "I must have you, Amber," he stated in a low, deep growl.
His voice triggered a sensation in her, a mixture of delight and deep unease. He was asking too much of her. She wasn't going to allow herself to be responsible for him making such a drastic choice. Not even if it was in her favor.
"You're asking the impossible of me, Sayid," she said. "You know that, don't you?"
He breathed out sharply, displaying an obvious impatience. "It's inevitable, Amber. You know that. You belong to me."
In another moment that last statement might have made her feel a delight. But, right now, he was presenting her with an impossible choice.
"You can't tell me you're willing to turn your back on everything that is meaningful to you," she said. She narrowed her eyes at him incredulously. "Just so that you can have me back in your life? That's just crazy, Sayid."
He nodded slowly and decisively. "That is exactly what I am saying to you."
She frowned. "No," she said in a voice which echoed in the cavernous, high-ceilinged room.
His brows furrowed. "You cannot deny me," he said boldly. "Not after what just happened."
She peered at him. "I can. If it means you will be reminded of your duty to your people. I'm not going to be responsible for you doing something like that, Sayid. Maybe if you spent more time at the camp, instead of hiding out here, you might understand."
"You're accusing me of something very grave, Amber," he said. "I do not hide from my responsibilities. I carry out my duties in the best way I can."
Amber shook her head. "You obviously don't understand the work we're doing down there, Sayid," she said. "The work I'm doing," she said.
Sayid seemed unmoved by that statement. He started to move toward her, but she held up a hand and he halted immediately. "I want to leave," she stated. "Now, Sayid," she added emphatically.
His mouth opened and he looked as if he was about to object.
"I have work to do," Amber said sharply. "You got what you wanted. And now I have to go. And this is the last time I'll be summoned to your palace. From now on, you can get your information from Monica."
He looked shocked. Even astonished that she would say such a thing to him.
There was a brief moment when she was almost tempted to take back what she had just said. Almost minded to try one last time to persuade him that what he was doing wasn't right. But she could see that he wasn't about to be persuaded of anything. Perhaps his judgment was still clouded by passion, she reflected.
Had she really meant what she'd just said? That nothing would tempt her to come back here? Of course it was nonsense, she told herself. While Sayid was here, there would always be a reason why she would come back to this place.
He lifted a hand to his chin and ran his fingers thoughtfully across his stubble. He examined her for a few moments and then nodded. "Okay. You win." His brows furrowed. "This time."
She didn't feel any sense of victory. Al
l she wanted now was to get out of the palace as quickly as possible.
"I'll call the limo. You'll be back at the camp soon," he said and headed toward the door to the sitting room. He left the room and she felt suddenly alone. The intimacy of the previous moments on the sofa had been replaced by something entirely different. A terrible emptiness.
Amber turned and gazed out across the dust-covered terrace and wondered how things could have changed so suddenly and so quickly.
Perhaps she had been more right than she'd realized. Maybe the only place where she really belonged was back at the town, doing her work.
And one more thought flickered into her mind. A thought that horrified her.
Maybe this was really going to be the last time she and Sayid would be truly together.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Sayid watched the limo drive through the open gates and out into the dark night.
Sayid felt nausea in the pit of his stomach. As he watched the limo turn out onto the road, he felt his heart pulse with a hard, unrelenting pain. Frustration seized him and he tightened his fists.
He asked himself what he had just done and cursed himself as a fool. Why had he done that? What madness had taken hold of him? Was this what she could do to him? Turn him away from his life so that all that had ever meant anything to him could be discarded? Was this why he had turned away from her back in California?
The argument had been vicious and unnecessary, he told himself. And, as usual, Amber had stood her ground, defying him at every turn.
He could not win with this woman! But, he knew he had to. He would have her, even if he had to take the most drastic measures.
So, what was she accusing him of? She had stood right in front of him, in his own palace, and had accused him of being indifferent to the plight of the people of his province. It was outrageous.
But was it true? Had she seen something in him which he himself had failed to recognize? Was there any truth in what she had said to him?
Of course, he knew that there had been times when he had maintained a distance between himself and the people of the town. But that was what was expected of him. Was it not? He had merely allowed himself to be guided by tradition. And that tradition had dictated that he keep himself apart from the people over whom his family had ruled for centuries. And that was what he had chosen to do.
Had it fallen to an outsider to see the fault in him? To see a limitation in his character, about which he had been blind?
Sayid sighed and went back into the palace. He threw himself down onto the sofa and recalled what had just taken place there. Their lovemaking had been incredible. He'd never forgotten how she was capable of turning his emotions inside out. How she could make him feel more alive than any other woman had ever done.
He recalled the way she had responded to him, with an instinctive passion that told him she still wanted him. That, after all they'd been through, she had never really left him.
But now she had told him she would never return to his palace. And she had stated her intention with such force that he knew she had meant every single word.
He drew in a deep breath and sighed heavily. He leaned back against the sofa.
He would not let that happen. He could not let that happen.
So what was to be done, now? What did he have to do to convince her that she was wrong? That he was capable of being different. That he wasn't the indifferent, aloof sheikh she had accused him of being.
He thought about the work she was doing at the camp. Maybe he could spend more time there. Perhaps if he understood what she did, got more involved, he might be able to convince her that they still had a future together. That she had been wrong.
Because, one thing was certain. If he didn't respond somehow, then she might well use that as an excuse to leave before her time was up. He knew that the relief work was nearing completion. He'd heard Monica talking about the transition from the NGO's support to the local services.
Time was running out, Sayid told himself.
What had happened today merely made his resolve even more firm. He would not lose her again.
And, if that meant surprising Amber, then that was what he would have to do.
****
The next morning he rode his stallion across the desert and toward the NGO encampment. The bright early morning sun shone in his eyes as he guided the stallion across the dunes. He preferred riding to the camp, instead of taking the limo. The desert ride, especially in the early morning, gave him a chance to clear his mind and to gather his thoughts. Also the ride was a shorter journey than the circuitous road which meandered across the desert. He would be there in less than half an hour. More than enough time to prepare himself for what he had to do that morning.
Last night, sleep had been impossible. He had tossed and turned in bed, thinking of what he and Amber had done to one another. How each of them seemed determined to torture the other with the accusations or misunderstandings. Their relationship had always rested on a foundation of honesty. Amber had never hesitated to tell Sayid what she thought of anything he did. And he, for his part, always sought to be straight with her. Well, it looked as if he'd been too straight with her when he had declared his absolute intention to claim her for his own.
Sayid spurred his mount on to a quicker pace. He savored the sensation of the horse's speed as it pounded across the dunes. The wind flowed through his traditional robe, sending it billowing out behind him. He gripped the reins tightly in his clenched fists. He gritted his teeth and tightened his jaw. Aliveness coursed through his entire being, just as it always did every time he was out here in the desert. This was what he had been made for. This was where he belonged. There was only one thing missing from his life, and destiny had placed that back into the palm of his hand.
Amber's destiny was to be by his side. He sensed that with every beat of his heart, with every pounding of his pulse.
He felt good this morning, seized with a renewed purpose. He was determined to show Amber that she had been wrong. He had given much thought during the night to what he had to do, and he had made a clear decision.
He reached the camp and rode down into the compound, pulling up his horse and tying it up near Amber's accommodation tent. It was early, but already there was a great deal of activity.
Sayid wandered amongst the NGO workers and those who'd been supplied by the Qazhar government. There were a series of white tents at the far end of the compound. He knew that was where many of the displaced families had been relocated until their homes were made ready for reoccupation. Sayid made his way in that direction.
As he moved through the crowd of workers and townsfolk, Sayid was recognized. People stopped what they were doing and bowed to him. For his part, he did what he usually did in such circumstances. He paused, raised a hand to his chest, indicating humility, and bowed to them in return. Because of this it took him a while to make his way through the early morning crowd.
Eventually he reached the tents and walked along the narrow passage between the line of white, temporary homes. He kept his eye out for any sign of Amber. He was beginning to feel disappointed at not finding her, when he heard his name being called out from behind him. He turned and saw Yasmina coming toward him.
"Sheikh Al Kharif," Yasmina exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" she asked, clearly surprised to see him. And especially in a part of the camp where he seldom ventured.
He hesitated and glanced around at the hive of activity. There were children playing nearby, watched carefully by tired looking mothers. Men, dressed in traditional Qazhar garb watched Sayid, obviously keeping a respectful distance from the rarely seen sheikh. He was slightly shocked at how reluctant any of the townsfolk were to come and approach him. Perhaps Amber had been right. Had Sayid spent the last few years cultivating an unfriendly reputation amongst the very people toward whom he should have been warm-hearted and generous?
Sayid turned back to Yasmina. "I came to see for myself just how much work i
s being done. Monica told me it's all near completion."
Yasmina's brows rose. "Really," she said, clearly taken aback.
He nodded. "I wanted to get a sense of how things have turned out."
Even as he said the words, he realized they had a ring of insincerity about them. He wondered what it would take for him to show a genuine concern that would be believable.
Yasmina nodded, but she still didn't look entirely convinced. After a few moments she spoke: "I can show you around. If you like," she offered.
"That's most kind of you," Sayid replied. "But, I was hoping to find Amber. Perhaps get the benefit of her knowledge," he said.
Suddenly realizing that he might have said something mildly insulting, he quickly covered his tracks. "Not that I don't think you have the expertise yourself, Yasmina," he added hastily.
She smiled at him. "You don't need to apologize, Sheikh Al Kharif. I understand."
He worried he might have been too eager to find Amber. The last thing he wanted was to reveal even the slightest hint that he and Amber were an item. He scoffed inwardly at that thought. As if they were! Right now, he'd feel fortunate if he could find Amber and persuade her to even speak with him.
"The truth is, I don't know where she is, right now," Yasmina admitted.
Sayid felt disappointment settle in his gut. He'd assumed that someone as organized as Yasmina would know where to find Amber.
"But I can show you around," Yasmina said. "If you like."
Sayid masked his disappointment. But then it came to him that he had to start somewhere. He had a great deal of faith in the spirited and intelligent Qazhar woman who had just made the offer to be his guide.
Sayid smiled at Yasmina. "I think that will be very useful," he said.
Yasmina seemed pleased by Sayid's agreement.
"And perhaps you might like to get your hands dirty," Yasmina said playfully.
He lifted a brow.
"There's plenty to do around the camp. We're always happy if someone can pitch in and help," she concluded.
