“Of course, like World of Warcraft.”
“Yeah, like that. It's called Nagant Wars. The cast is pretty big. The part I auditioned for is this nerdy gamer girl, a Russian, who is a lesbian and has a friendship with these nerdy gamer boys.”
“Sounds thrilling," I deadpanned.
“It’ll be a huge role for me if I get it.”
“You deserve it,” I said with a smile. I meant it, too. Audrey was a hard worker. She’d paid her dues, done a few things she wished she hadn’t, but she’d stayed the course. It’s a brutal career, always being judged, always having to worry about your figure, your looks, how you sound when you talk, and of course the talent pool is huge. The chance of success is slim. I give her a lot of credit for sticking with her plan.
“So,” she said. “Tell me about your weekend.”
“Well…Peter came over…”
“Shit, what did your sister say?”
“Nothing. She was on painkillers and slept through dinner. He brought soup for Midori and Abby. Eve ate a bowl. She told me to tell him she appreciated it, and that it was the best chicken noodle soup she’d ever eaten.”
“He stopped at that one Jewish Deli?”
“Of course, he’s super thoughtful.”
“You like him a lot?”
“Sure, of course. But that’s the problem… I like Brad a lot too, and Kirk is a great guy…and…hell.”
“You’ve thought about changing your mind?” she asked. She hadn't been the first to ask this, and she wouldn't be the last.
“Of course I have.” I waved at our waiter. I needed a glass of wine if I was going to be able to have a relaxed conversation about my future.
“And?”
“I don’t want to change course…”
“Okay, then keep fucking a new guy every week until your pussy breaks.”
I laughed hard.
Audrey joined me.
Tears flowed.
The waiter arrived at our table. He patiently waited while we wiped tears from our eyes and took deep breaths to regain our composure.
I said to him, “I need a glass of wine, a house red, cab…pinot…?”
“We have a nice Malbec blend on special?”
“Done." I nodded and smiled.
“Make it two,” Audrey added. When the waiter left, she said, “Maybe we should have ordered a bottle?”
“We still can,” I said to her with a straight face. “The first glass is just a warm up.”
“So, Peter?”
“Yeah, so he came for dinner, as I said. After everyone went to bed, I snuck him into the guest room.”
“You had to sneak?”
“Well, I guess that’s not fair. Nobody said I couldn’t have a guest, but I know Eve would freak out if she knew I was fucking someone in the guest room.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t hear you guys.”
“It’s a well-insulated house," I said, then added, "I hope. We were pretty loud—you know—breaking my pussy as you said."
Audrey laughed and asked, “So, anything exciting to report?”
“I asked him to talk dirty to me, and it was pretty hot.”
“Like what?” she asked leaning towards me.
“Oh, he called me his dirty white bitch and said he was going to destroy my tight pussy. That kind of shit. Nothing out of the ordinary…”
“I’ve never been called a dirty white bitch, sounds hot,” she said. “I suppose his dick is like”—she held her hands about eighteen inches apart—“this big?”
“Jesus, Audrey,” I said, not realizing the waiter was standing behind me. “If he had a dick that big I’d be in the hospital.”
She raised her eyes, and I turned to see the waiter suppressing a smile.
“Excuse me,” he said. “Are you ready to order?”
“I’d like an eighteen inch—”
“Audrey!” I looked at the waiter and said, “Excuse her, she’s an actress. No boundaries.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “I hear this kind of stuff all the time.”
“Really?” I asked. “Tell me more.”
“Well, the other day these two lesbians were…” He went on for five minutes explaining to us how a lesbian couple had been discussing picking up a guy and the features they both required him to have. “So,” he said in conclusion, “it came down to any guy under forty with a reasonably fit body and an exceptionally big dick.”
“Jesus,” I said. “I guess if you’re going to switch-hit once in awhile, you want prime meat.”
“Must be it,” he said. “I’d better take your order, or I’m gonna get fired.”
We ordered, ate lunch, and ordered a third glass of wine.
“I’ve got a couple of new family secrets,” I said.
“Do tell,” Audrey commanded.
“I can’t. I promised, but I wanted to talk to you about keeping them. You know the kind I mean, a secret that might hurt other people—”
“Ray tried to fuck you?”
“Jesus, you go to the darkest place first,” I said.
“So, what did he do? Grab your tits? Your ass? Or did he just say, ‘let’s fuck’?”
“No! It’s not that at all.”
“You know he’d fuck you in a heartbeat," she stated without a hint of doubt.
“I’m sure he would," I said. "I guess. Maybe not. I don't know anymore..." My new information about Ray changed my evaluation of what his flirting might mean. I always figured it was just innocent teasing and all good fun. But, now…
“So, did he come on to you?” she asked, anxious for gossip.
“No. I said that. No. Jesus, don’t you listen?”
Audrey sipped her wine and said, “I bet he jerks off into your underwear.”
“Fuck, girlfriend,” I said. “What’s your deal with Ray?”
“I think about doing him sometimes. I guess it’s because your sister is such a bitch and I think I’d get even for you.”
“You’re a great friend…but don’t fuck Ray, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. He’s not my type. I was going to do it for you.”
“Well don’t.”
“I still think he whacks off to your picture on his cell phone.”
“Stop. I don’t even want that image in my head.”
“Oh, Jess! Oh, Jess! I want to come on your tits. Oh, Jess,” Audrey mocked as the waiter walked up again. She blushed, but only a little.
“Am I interrupting anything?” the waiter asked.
“No, we’re good,” I said.
“Dessert?” he said looking at me.
“None for me,” Audrey said. “I already have to lose five pounds.”
“Girl, you’re a twig already.”
“It’s the expectation,” she said.
“I’ll leave this with you,” the waiter said putting the check on the table. “Take your time.”
As he left, I considered how in other countries they don’t bring the check until you ask for it. Americans are so uncouth sometimes as if they revolted not just from England, but from good manners and taste. If you doubt me, just ask the French.
“Okay, spill more secrets,” Audrey said.
“I can’t,” I answered her. But, she knew I wanted to talk. “I can’t say anything about anything, but you can assume I have a couple of things that Eve would be upset about—”
“You found Ray’s young Asian trans porn?"
“No.”
“You found Ray’s porn, and it’s homosexual orgies?”
“No, stop guessing. I wasn’t on Ray’s computer. I am not a snoop.”
“You think he jerks off to Cosplay porn? Or barely legal Latinas? What? You must have a guess.”
“I don’t fucking know. I never thought about it.”
“Yes, you have. Don’t lie.”
“Okay,” I admitted. “I always thought Ray was too straight laced to fantasize about anything but celebrity porn and standard girl-next-door shit. Maybe some ethn
ic women, I don’t know. What do conservative banker Christian church goers with a wife, kids, and a big expensive house in Newport Beach fap to?”
“Probably transgender midget BDSM," Audrey said. I think she was serious, too.
“Jesus, you think?” I asked.
“I bet he’s a lot kinder than you imagine. All that repression and shit.”
“You’re probably right. I guess that’s why he fucked around.” Oh, shit, I didn’t mean to say that…
“Holy shit, Jessica,” she said. “He told you he was fucking some bitch?”
“No…”
“Then what?”
“I said I’d keep quiet about it. I let that slip.”
“Bitch.”
“Okay,” I said. “Look, don’t say anything—”
“Who the fuck would I tell?”
“Point.”
“So?”
“He came home and asked me to throw his clothes in the wash. The perfume and sweat and sex and yuck…”
“Jesus.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do?” Audrey asked me with a curiosity that made me feel like she was outlining the script to a new soap opera.
“Nothing,” I said. “I promised him I’d stay quiet and let him decide what—if anything—to do about his own marriage.”
“Jesus,” she said. “Tell me more. Is she hot?”
“I didn’t fucking see her picture, dude,” I said.
“Well, did he describe her?”
“No, fuck. Of course not.”
“I knew that man had secrets.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“No,” Audrey said. “I really felt it that one day I was over there…you remember…the time I thought he was creepy on me?”
“Yeah, he’s innocent,” I said reflexively. “Shit, I guess not so much.”
“He didn’t actually do anything,” Audrey explained. “He only gave me a feeling. For what it’s worth.”
“I got some feelings last night…in places I didn’t know existed,” I said, hoping to change the subject back to Peter and my vagina.
“Tell me more…”
I gave her juicy details about my guest-bedroom sex with Peter, how he’d managed to surprise me again, and how I was interested—but scared—of experimenting with anal sex. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have a thing for avoiding unnecessary pain.
“I like it,” she said, “once in awhile.”
“Yeah?” I asked. “Tell me about it.”
Audrey looked left-and-right as if someone could have been spying. When she felt we were alone, she opened up. “I like a small vibrator there, not too deep, just a slow in-and-out motion. Lot’s of lube. And, it needs to be in tandem with my other parts being worked.” She looked around again to be sure we were alone. “I once had a double penetration,” she said.
“What?” I sort of shouted my question and surprise. I’d never heard this story before. “When? With who? How come you’ve never told me about this before?”
“It was during a…”
“You’re early movie career,” I said euphemistically.
“Yeah. Exactly. Anyway, it wasn’t bad at all, I mean, they were both professionals.”
“So you liked it?”
“It didn’t hurt, and it felt okay,” she said. “But, to be honest, I rarely came on camera, most of my climaxes were totally faked.”
“Sorry,” I said. “Subject changing time. I want your opinion on this thing about keeping secrets.”
“Okay, shoot,” she said relieved to change the subject from her porn movie making double-penetration experience to my moral and ethical dilemma dealing with family secrets and my cheating brother-in-law.
“I have a couple of secrets—one of which you now know—and I’m just not sure about what things it’s okay to keep from my sister.”
“Is anyone in danger?”
“Not directly. I mean, a teenager could get hurt.”
“Like pregnant hurt? Or like kidnapped into sex slavery hurt?”
“The first.”
“Okay, I think you have to give good advice and then mind your own business. Kids are gonna do what kids do. I was giving oral at thirteen. It was normal.”
“That’s not normal,” I said.
“It is where I grew up,” she countered.
“I feel sad about that.”
“It’s part of life,” she said softly. “I wasn’t hurt—hurt…”
“It probably wasn’t so healthy,” I said. “I think it affected your life in ways…”
“Yeah. Well, fuck it. I give head now to guys I like and who reciprocate. I try to forget the past and look forward to getting my first big role.”
“As a sexy space nerd.”
“As a sexy space nerd,” she agreed and lifted her wine glass. “To sexy space nerds and teens giving head before they can drive.”
“Jesus, Audrey,” I said. “I’ll toast to that…but under protest!”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
True love is like little roses, sweet, fragrant in small doses.
~ Ana Claudia Antunes
AFTER MY MONDAY LUNCH WITH AUDREY, I had to take some time to myself and relax. I hung out at home and went on a little walk with Olive. Haiku rubbed against my leg and sat on my lap. I took a long bath. Tuesday was Valentine's Day.
I sort of hate holidays.
At least ones that were designed to make you feel either alone or guilty.
This Valentine's Day, however, being alone—or guilty—wasn’t my issue, it was the plethora of invitations and my desire not to single out any of the guys I was still seeing. I wasn’t ready to be a 'couple' with anyone. I politely emailed everyone who’d asked me out and told them I’d be spending the day with my family. Eve and Ray were happy to have me come over—they’d planned a stay-at-home family dinner—Eve not wanting to go out in her cast.
When I showed up without Midori, Abby almost cried hearing that she’d be home alone.
“I think she’s happy to have a night to herself, Abby,” I said. “And she’s not really alone. She’s got Olive and Haiku.”
“I’m not sick anymore,” Abby announced.
“Good.” I gave her a big hug and helped Ray with dinner, which consisted of getting out paper plates and serving take-out pizza.
“You don’t have a date tonight?” Ray asked. “I’m surprised.”
“I had plenty of offers,” I said. “But I’m not ready to give anyone the idea that I’m going to settle down.”
Eve frowned but remained silent.
Zack and Peter argued about whether pepperoni was pork or beef, and Bethany insisted it was a form of ham.
“Ham is pork,” I said.
“No,” she insisted. “Ham is…”
“It’s pork,” her dad said. “What did you think it was?”
“You mean it’s a pig?” Abby asked.
“Oink-oink!” Peter said.
“Gross,” Ruthie said. She spat out a mouthful of pizza.
Zack and Peter burst out laughing.
I had to bite my tongue not to join them.
“Enough boys,” Eve said.
“They're just being boys,” Ray said in a rough voice.
“We’re at the table,” his wife pointed out.
“I can see that,” he said. “But this isn’t a formal dinner party. It’s just a family—”
“I know, but manners are manners.”
“Hey!” I interrupted their potential argument without thinking about what to say next. “Ummmm. How ‘bout them Lakers?”
“Since when do you watch basketball?”
“I think I just started. Hand me one of those pepper packets.”
The rest of the evening went by as if an unspoken tension was creeping around the edges. I wondered if Eve suspected anything—about Ray or Bethany—but I didn’t want to give her any indication that I knew something she wasn’t privy too, s
o I kept my mouth shut about anything potentially overlapping the subject of infidelity or teenage romance. I hate things in life that have to remain secrets. I appreciate honesty and disclosure. But, in this case, I completely understood the explosiveness of the issue. Eve was a difficult person—not a bad or evil person—just a bitch sometimes. You know the type.
I do love her, though.
She is my sister.
I went home around eleven and wondered if I’d made the right call not picking a guy and going on a date...if I had gone out, I'd have gotten laid instead of going to bed alone.
I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
A dream had stirred me. It was sexual in nature, but I couldn’t recall who it was about or what was going on. I was wet, however, and unable to go back to sleep.
Well, I told myself, this was why God invented vibrators.
The go-to double-headed rabbit vibrator was my standard. I pulled it out of the drawer and ensured it was charged. God forbid you get right to the edge, all hot and ready to explode, and the damn thing dies on you.
With all systems go, I got down to business.
Oh-aw-oh.
It felt great, but I still wasn’t feeling it. Something was bothering me in the back of my mind, and I tried to recall my dream. Nothing.
Nothing.
Oh.
Wait…
There were women.
Or a woman.
Shit, I needed help.
I got out my laptop and logged into the website called Chaturbate and searched for a lesbian couple among the performers.
This was the shit.
I’ll describe what I saw, feel free to follow along at home.
THE TWO WOMEN WERE LATINAS. Their profile said they lived in Colombia. Anna and Maria, a couple in real life if the internet profile was genuine.
Anna was light mocha colored, with a few small tattoos, and her pierced nipples were brown and long.
Maria's skin was darker. She had an Asian or perhaps a black relative in her distant past, and the dark mocha of her skin contrasted with Anna's body perfectly.
Watching them together got my temperature rising.
Both of them had cute, firm, twenty-something breasts. Their asses were perfect—bitches I thought—I’d kill for that perfect Latina shape…damn…
Fifty-Two Pickup: Threes (Jessica Rogers Book 3) Page 8
