“What happened?” she asks as soon as she sees my face.
“Where’s Kyle?”
Mary rolls her eyes. “I can’t get him to leave his room. Did you have to buy him such a big TV?”
I shrug. “I just can’t say no to him.”
“Please try, or he’ll be spoiled worse than he already is.” She sits on a barstool and pats the one next to her. “Now, tell me what happened.”
Sighing in exasperation, I sit down. “I ran into Nathan today.”
Concern twists Mary’s face. “And?”
I roll up the sleeve of my shirt. There are half-moon bruises on my skin, and they still sting painfully. Mary takes my arm gingerly, her expression a mix of worry and anger.
“He did this to you?”
I nod. “I feel like it’s starting all over again.” I choke down the tears I feel coming to the surface. “He’s going to ruin everything again. There’s no stopping him. In the end, Nathan always gets what he wants.”
“What does he want?”
“To be a part of Kyle’s life.” I gaze at anything but Mary. “And he wants to have me again. I can’t even stomach the thought of it,” I say as I press a hand against my stomach to quell the churning.
“Don’t worry. We’re not going to let him get anywhere near you or Kyle. Were you with Connor? What did he say?”
I shrug, feeling guilty. “He stopped Nathan from hurting me and inflicted some pain of his own.”
“Good. I hope he broke something on the bastard.”
I wince as if the words physically sting. “I got mad at him. I yelled at him.”
“For helping you?” Mary asks with a raised brow.
“In my defense,” I say quickly, “I was still shaken up, and I have a history of men helping me only to want something in return. Besides, what if what he does is used against me to get Kyle?”
“If he put his hands on you first, I doubt you have to worry about that.” Mary pauses. “Angela, you need to talk to him.”
“I’m still pissed off.”
“I understand that. And you’re scared. And you’re at your most vulnerable having to face all of these memories, all of that power that Nathan had over you. Still, you can’t take it out on Connor. He hasn’t done anything wrong, and he’s not your whipping post. Do you really want to be like Nathan? Doling out pain because something is broken inside of you?”
Her words hit me with such force that I’m knocked speechless. I stumble over my words. How dare she compare me to that monster! Outrage, pain, disbelief flood through me. Instead of replying, I move off of the stool and disappear into my bedroom.
What does she know? What does anyone know about me? They don’t understand how Nathan could curl his fingers into my brain and paralyze me with icy fear. No one could understand the things he’s done to me, the things he said to me until, for a very long time, I thought I was nothing more than a beating post, nothing more than the dirt beneath him.
When I was with Connor, I sank to my knees for him and I became nothing for him, but it was my choice. That’s what made it special. That’s what made it okay. For Nathan, it had never been a choice. I was his property, and he used me however and whenever he felt like it.
I crawl beneath my blankets, wearing them like a shield. Curling my fingers into the blanket, I shiver. The house isn’t cold, but I can feel a distinct iciness tripping and stumbling down my spine. I think about Connor. He tried to help me, and I crushed him. How would he ever forgive me? How could I forgive myself?
There’s a soft knock on the door. I’m not in the mood to talk to Mary. In my logical mind, I know that Mary hadn’t meant to hurt me. That doesn’t stop my feelings from being hurt.
“Angela?”
The tiny voice behind the door doesn’t belong to Mary. I sit up in bed, running my hand over my wet eyes before I call him in. Kyle pads in on bare feet, the look on his face distinctly sad.
“What’s the matter?”
Kyle shrugs.
“Do you want me to get Mary?”
He shakes his head. “She doesn’t feel good, and I don’t want to make her sad.”
I pat the bed beside me. “Come here and sit next to me.”
Kyle closes the door before he walks around my large bed. He crawls up beside me and lays his head on a fluffy pillow. He’s biting his lip, and I can tell that something big is weighing on his young mind.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I miss my friends. I miss home.”
I hesitate, then gently run my fingers through his hair. It’s the same thing my mom used to do for me when I was feeling down.
“I know you do. Maybe we can all take some trips back there sometimes. I don’t want you to feel left out. You’ll start school here soon. Won’t that be exciting?”
Kyle shrugs again. “I don’t know. Yes. No. I’m scared,” he says, mumbling the last bit with a look of embarrassment.
Looking at him, I see so much of myself. He could practically be my twin, if not for the blond hair. Then there’s the personality. It’s chilling to see a copy of yourself, one that you haven’t watched grow into it, but simply appear.
“It’ll be okay. And if you don’t like it, we’ll find you somewhere that you do like.”
Kyle nods. “Can I ask you another question?” He looks away from me. “I know you said when I got older, but I decided that I really want to know.”
“What is it?” I ask, an audible lump in my throat.
“Why did you give me up? Why didn’t you want me?”
There it is. I knew that it would be coming sooner or later, and yet nothing has prepared me for it. I have no rehearsed speech, although I’ve thought of several since the first time he asked me. I swallow thickly.
“Well,” I start slowly, weighing each word in my mouth before I speak. “It’s kind of complicated.”
“Please, don’t tell me a lie,” he says with eyes so serious I would swear that he was grown.
Kyle is still sore from learning the truth that his parents aren’t his. The only reason he ever found out is because Mary got sick and her husband had previously passed. With no other options, she turned to me. I feel as though I owe him the truth. He isn’t so young or so naïve that he wouldn’t understand.
“Okay,” I say with a nod.
I tell him the story from start to finish. About falling in love young with a nice boy, and how, at sixteen, I ran away to give Kyle a better life. I leave out details, but I tell him how his father, his birth father, is a bad man that we can’t trust. I end it by telling him that if he ever sees the man, to not go with him, to not even talk to him.
“Is he that bad?” Kyle asks with wide eyes.
“Worse,” I say seriously. I sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Kyle pushes himself up, shaking his head. “You didn’t. I’m glad I know. If anyone ever hurt you or Mom, I wouldn’t know what to do. I’ll protect both of you.”
I smile. Before I can help myself, I’m pulling him into my arms, into a tight hug. I can feel the love radiating between the two of us. Once more, my strength seems to come flowing back to me. If this boy, this child, could be so brave, then so could I. Leaning forward, I plant a kiss on the top of his head.
“You’re a good kid,” I say, messing up his hair to the sound of him giggling. “If you ever need to talk about anything, don’t hesitate for a moment. I’ll always be here for you.”
After a moment, Kyle says, “Can we talk about the dog?”
I burst into laughter. “Smooth. Your mom and I are still discussing it.”
“Okay,” he says with a smile and a glint in his eyes. “One more question.”
“Go for it.”
“When do I get to meet your boyfriend?”
I shake my head sadly. “He’s not my boyfriend, and I think after today he’s probably pretty angry at me.”
Kyle shrugs. “So apologize. Mom always says that if you hurt someone’s fe
elings, you should tell them you’re sorry.”
“Your mom is a very wise woman.”
Kyle nods seriously. “That’s true.” He hops out of bed. “I’m feeling better now. I’m going to watch a move.” He hesitates for a moment longer. “Want to watch one with me?”
“Of course. Just give me a moment to take a shower and put on my PJs.”
His face lights up. “I’ll go find something cool!” he shouts, ready to dash out of the door.
“Hey, Kyle?”
He turns around, his hand poised on the doorknob. “I’m sorry.”
I swear my world trembles as he gives me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen a person wear. He doesn’t say a word as he races out of the door and down to his room. Shaking my head and wiping stray tears out of my eyes, I slide out of the bed. Leave it to a child to make someone’s heart grow lighter almost instantly.
Padding my way to the bathroom, I shower and slip into a big t-shirt and shorts. I wander into the kitchen and pop us a bag of popcorn. By the time I carry it into the room, Kyle has the movie set up and casts his handheld game aside. We sit on his bed together, our backs to the wall as we dig into the popcorn bowl.
A knock comes from the doorframe. Mary stands there, her oxygen tank beside her, but a soft smile on her lips. “Any more room for me?”
I pat the bed beside me, and she walks over and climbs in. We watch the screen in silence. Kyle seems thoroughly engrossed in the exploding cars and smooth spy on the screen. Marry leans over and whispers to me.
“I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “You were right. No hard feelings. In fact, thank you.”
Mary beams at me. I wrap an arm around her shoulders, and she leans against me. I wrap my other arm around Kyle and sigh. Things are far from over with Nathan, but I won’t let him hurt my family.
Chapter Eighteen
I throw my phone. “He still won’t answer me!”
Zoey sighs. “Please, put the phone down. I’m trying to help you look for jobs and an attorney. You can’t keep obsessing.”
“I can’t help it.”
“He’ll call.”
“No, he won’t. He hates me.”
“Well, you did hurt his feelings, ego, and pride. I doubt he hates you though. Just give him some time. It has only been two days.”
“Maybe I should go see him,” I mumble.
“Focus!” Zoey says, snapping her fingers in front of my face. “I thought you wanted a job? You’ve acquired quite a bit of money in your savings account, but it won’t last forever. Especially the way you live.”
“Hey, I’ve been living more modestly.”
She points to my bag. “Three thousand dollar bags are not the definition of living modestly. And I know it’s new, because that particular design just came out.”
“It’s Marc Jacobs,” I say with a pout.
“It’s out of your budget,” Zoey says, pointing at me with a pencil.
I sigh. “When the hell did you become so responsible and annoying?”
Zoey squirms in her seat. She bites her bottom lip, and her eyes won’t meet mine. My eyes grow wide as I put my finger on it.
“You met someone.”
Zoey shrugs. “It’s not serious.”
“Bullshit,” I say, so loudly that the people in the restaurant around us glare. “Bullshit,” I say more quietly. “You’ve met someone important enough that you’re being mature. Who is he?”
Zoey squirms again. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I told my arms over my chest and shrug. “Fine. If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll just find out on my own.”
She rolls her eyes. “I swear I will tell you every single detail if you just look through this list of attorneys and jobs.”
Sighing, I take the paper from her hands. “Why can’t you represent me?”
“I don’t do family law, remember? Criminal only.”
“He is a criminal,” I mumble under my breath.
“That’s true, but we need to build a better case. You failed to report him right after he attacked you, and the judge will call that into question. You do however have photos of the bruises and Connor as a witness, so it’ll help. We have to convince the judge that you were too afraid to think about reporting him.”
I take a deep sip of my cherry soda. “I was.”
Zoey nods. “Yes, I know. However, they’re going to want to dig into your past, completely. You’ll have to relive every horrid detail. Produce medical records. Go to a psychologist for evaluation.”
“No! Nope, absolutely no way in hell.”
“You don’t have a choice,” Zoey says pointedly. “Besides,” she softens her voice, “I think that it could do you some good. I’m in no way a professional, but I think you might have PTSD. Don’t give me that look. I’m serious.”
“I thought only soldiers got that.”
She shakes her head. “Anyone can get it. Any traumatic event can trigger it. I think you’ll feel a lot better if you can go and have someone to talk to about it.”
“I’ll try.”
“Good. I’ll take that for now. Here, let’s go through the list, and we’ll mark the most likely choices. I’ll call Connor later today and let him know what we’re doing. He’s going to have to testify.”
“Isn’t that a bad idea? Considering he hired me from an escort service?”
Zoey shakes her head. “He paid in cash. There’s no way to trace anything back between you too. You’ll just say you met him that night when you were out dancing with me.”
“Isn’t that lying?”
Zoey laughed. “Honey, it’s court. Everyone lies.”
“Aww, how I love the justice system.”
“Trust me. Work in a law for a few years and you’ll see exactly what’s wrong with the world.” She stands up, straightening out her black skirt and adjusting her black suit jacket. “I got to head back to work. See you tonight?”
“What’s tonight?” I mumble, still starting at the paper in front of me.
“It’s called ‘getting out of your house and having some fun’ night. I just made it up, and it is glorious.”
I chuckle. “Will your new love interest be there?”
Zoey stammers. “I… You… Shut. Up.”
Laughing, I wave to her as she leaves the restaurant in a hurry. She must really like this guy, because I’ve never seen her act like that. I pay for our lunch, leave a tip, and walk out onto the sidewalk.
I freeze. Across the street is a tall, leggy blonde in a red dress. She’s giggling, her arms wrapped around the arm of the man next to her. He’s chuckling heartily. I narrow my eyes, praying that they’re playing tricks on me.
“Connor?”
The words are barely a whisper as they slip out of my trembling lips. The woman points down the street, and he nods. I watch them from afar. Something in me screams ‘follow them.’
Giving us plenty of space, I follow. I don’t know what possesses me to do it. In fact, every sensible cell in my body is screaming just go home, but I have to know. Why hasn’t he called me? And why is he walking around with the beauty equivalent of Heidi Klum?
They disappear into a store together. I wait for a while before I follow them in. The store isn’t in, so I keep my distance. The Heidi Klum wannabe begins browsing dresses as Connor follows her. What is he doing? I shoo away an inquisitive shop girl.
It seems to take forever before they leave the shop. Connor holds several bags in his hands. They walk down the busy streets, entering store after store and leaving with more and more things.
I know an escort when I see one. What the hell is Connor thinking? Is he really that angry at me? I bite my bottom lip. Everything had been a lie. Of course it had. Was I really expecting anything to change in him? For anything to change between us?
The sound of their laughter is grating on my nerves. I want nothing more than to step out, shove a finger into his chest, and tell him in explicit detail exactly
what I think about him. I’m on the verge of doing just that, when they disappear into a jewelry shop.
Together, they peer over the selections. The woman points to something, and Connor nods. When the man behind the counter pulls it up, I can see the huge diamond even from where I stood.
Connor has lost his mind. The woman in front of him claps her hands excitedly and plucks it from the man’s fingertips. She slides it on and holds it up for Connor to see. He grins.
“What do you think?” I hear her ask.
“I think it looks magnificent.”
“I thought so. I have perfect taste.”
“Thank god one of us does. I’m glad you like it. I can’t tell you how relieved I am.”
“Don’t tell me,” she says with a grin. “Show me.”
Connor shakes his head. “Later. Not here.”
I’ve heard more than enough. Turning on my heel, I march away from the store. I can’t believe that he would do something so awful. Why am I even surprised? Every man I’ve ever met has been scum, so why did I think Connor was going to be any different?
I give up on being productive for the day and instead I go home. Mary and Kyle are gone, but there’s a note on the fridge saying that they were going to get things for the house. I open the fridge, find leftovers, and nuke them before I settle onto the couch.
Flipping on the TV to a daytime talk show, I scarf down the food. By the time my stomach is full, I shove the bowl away and moan. My stomach churns.
“Great, I probably have food poisoning now.”
I groan as I push myself off of the couch and run to the bathroom. My knees slam into the tile. I barely make it before I’m revisiting my lunch all over again. By the time I’m through, my body is shaking. I wipe my mouth with a towel, shed my clothes, and step into the shower.
Seeing Connor with someone else is bothering more than I thought it would. I can’t believe he would betray me. Despite all of my thinking earlier, I did trust Connor, and I believed him. It’s hard to do that with people for me, but he was one of the few that I had let in. I want him back.
I don’t get out of the shower until the water is ice cold and stinging my skin. Peering around the corner, I look and listen for signs of Kyle and Mary, but hear nothing. I move swiftly to the hallway closet to fetch a clean towel, which I promptly wrap around me.
BOUGHT: A Standalone Romance Page 16
