by Emma Darcy
At four o’clock she was ushered into a work-efficient office that was crowded with filing cabinets and a large desk loaded with stacks of folders. Lyn Chandler looked very much at home in a hive of industry. She radiated vitality as she rose to greet Natalie.
She was a chic blonde, her hair cut in a short, fashionable bob that suited her pretty face. Deep dimples in her cheeks somehow made her smile infectious. Her eyes were striking: large and long-lashed, with light green irises ringed with brown. She was tall and slender and looked very stylish in a form-fitting beige skirt and tan silk blouse. Her perfume was more spicy than floral, a sharp rather than a soft scent, perhaps an assertive statement that she was a woman who chose not to conform to others’ expectations.
Natalie had no problem imagining any man being attracted to Lyn Chandler. She would light up anyone’s life with her smile. She also exuded warmth and caring interest, so much so that Natalie couldn’t help thinking it had to be Damien’s fault that the marriage had broken up.
Lyn enthused over Natalie’s portfolio and asked a lot of questions, drawing her out about previous artwork, training, ambitions, and the children’s book she was illustrating. She made notes and expressed the opinion that an article could be worked around unusual art-forms and the women who were creating them. Natalie could expect a follow-up call for an interview when arrangements were made.
Business satisfactorally completed, Lyn invited Natalie to share a taxi to the Intercontinental Hotel, where they both relaxed in the Cortile, a casual lounge area where both snacks and drinks were served and background music was supplied by a pianist stroking the keys of a grand piano.
Lyn ordered two gin and tonics, two double brandies, and triple vodkas. Natalie swallowed her astonishment and made no protest, although she privately considered so much alcohol excessive. It might, however, loosen Lyn’s tongue, which was all to the good.
A dish of mixed nuts on their table provided nibbles. Natalie scooped up a few cashews, biding her time until the drinks arrived, making appreciative comments on the décor around them. The waiter returned with their order. Lyn disposed of her gin and tonic as though it was lemonade. Natalie decided this was as good a time as any to open the conversation she wanted.
‘I didn’t know you saw much of Damien any more,’ she prompted.
Lyn laughed lightly. ‘Oh, I saw him as recently as Saturday. Damien always has time for me. I needed a shoulder to cry on. My ex-live-in and I had a fallout.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Natalie said sympathetically, hiding her unease at the familiarity that apparently remained between ex-husband and ex-wife.
‘He is now definitely ex,’ Lyn said with satisfaction. She smiled. ‘It makes a difference to Damien.’
Natalie tensed, unable to control the alarm that shot through her heart. Had Lyn been using her live-in lover as some kind of lever to wring some concession from Damien? She sipped her gin and tonic, refraining from comment, waiting for Lyn to elaborate.
‘I could never rely on Julian for anything,’ she said, shrugging a contemptuous dismissal of the man she had lived with, ‘and I’m tired of always having to manage everything for myself. I now realise I need someone solid and dependable and stable. Like Damien.’
‘You mean...financially?’
‘That, too. But other aspects have priority now.’ Lyn picked up her glass of brandy and sipped it. She looked speculatively at Natalie as though sizing her up. ‘I don’t mind getting back with Damien,’ she stated with cool deliberation. ‘There’s still that spark of attraction between us. And now that he’s selling his business, he’ll have the time necessary for me.’
Natalie barely veiled her shock. ‘I thought you must have been disillusioned with your marriage to Damien. Wasn’t it you who commenced the divorce proceedings?’
‘I thought marriage to Damien was going to be fantastic. It was for a while. Mr Perfect, you know? I was madly in love with him.’
‘So what went wrong?’
She laughed easily. ‘He had the bad habit of working long hours, and taking business trips at the drop of a hat. I felt neglected. I hated coming home to an empty house. It was miserable and lonely. He defended it by saying he was making money for us. But if he rang, and I was out with Brett or some other friends, he’d get testy about it. He wanted the little woman at home waiting for him, and that simply wasn’t my idea of bliss.’
‘It sounds as though he might have been more considerate,’ Natalie volunteered, wondering if Damien had enjoyed the company of friends while he was away.
‘Considerate!’ Lyn rolled her eyes. ‘Most people are content to pay off a house over twenty or thirty years. Not Damien. He had his mind set on getting the house paid off as quickly as possible so we could start a family without any debts over our heads. We couldn’t waste money on having a good time.’
A man who took his responsibilities seriously, Natalie thought, but that could be oppressive if taken too far. ‘You never went out together?’
‘Only when he could fit it into his schedule,’ Lyn tossed off dismissively. ‘It was nowhere near often enough for me. Life was boringly dull. Brett spent money as if there was a hole in the bucket. I hated being made accountable for what I spent out of our joint account.’
Natalie looked her surprise. ‘I wouldn’t have thought Damien was mean.’
Lyn heaved a sigh. ‘I couldn’t get him to understand that what I made myself simply wasn’t sufficient for my needs. We married too early in life. Damien was pouring money into the business, trying to expand it. Our future, he called it. Brett was taking money out of the business on some loan arrangement so he could have a good time.’
‘It sounds as if you should have married Brett,’ Natalie said unhappily.
‘You’re right about that.’
And she should have married Damien, Natalie thought. Both women had married the wrong man. The thought hit Natalie forcefully. Perhaps it was something she had always recognised and sternly repressed in the hope that everything would eventually come right.
‘Don’t look so glum,’ Lyn said with her infectious smile. ‘Everything is going to turn out fine.’
‘How do you know that?’ Natalie couldn’t help registering her surprise.
‘Damien and I discussed you at some length, and the role you’ve played in his life.’
Natalie’s instincts rose to the fore. There was something very wrong about this conversation, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on yet...
‘What conclusion did you come to?’
‘You missed the boat, Natalie. Happily for me, I fell right into it.’ She winked. ‘It’s called the rebound effect. Damien and I will very shortly be announcing our remarriage.’
Shock hammered through Natalie. It couldn’t be true. Unless Damien had decided there would be no happiness with her, no matter how long he waited. She frantically searched her mind for something effective to say. Lyn sipped her brandy with a calm, self-satisfied serenity that left Natalie floundering.
‘But...but...you said yourself you should have married Brett.’
Lyn put her glass on the table. The happy infectious smile spread wider. There was no bile in what she said. ‘That was then. This is now. Damien can now afford me, and I’m now prepared to make him a father. The deal is done.’
She stood up and tucked her handbag under her arm. ‘I wanted you to know,’ she said with an air of confidentiality that was somehow insufferably smug. ‘And by the way, I will do my best to give your career a boost. I hope it leads somewhere good for you.’
She sauntered off, not looking back, leaving Natalie to pay the bill.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
NATALIE seethed all the way home. Lyn Chandler had neatly sucked her in, drawn her out, dismissed the past, and moved in for the kill. She had obviously done the same thing to Damien, though with a different end in view.
Superficially Lyn was glittery gold, just like Brett, but underneath the bright patina was an
unremitting core of self-centredness. If Damien thought his ex-wife had undergone a change of heart in regard to her priorities, he was sorely deluded. However, Lyn was undoubtedly clever enough to dress herself in tones that appealed to a man who had just been rejected, and holding out the carrot of having his child was a master stroke.
Lyn wouldn’t be a good mother. Natalie was certain of it. Damien would end up being a parent, all right. Full-time. Either that, or hire a nanny. Natalie couldn’t imagine Lyn taking kindly to changing nappies or losing sleep over a baby. As for the pampering she would demand throughout a pregnancy, the sky wouldn’t even be the limit.
How could Damien be such a fool as to take that woman back into his life? Hadn’t he learnt from his experience with her the first time around? Natalie was strongly tempted to go to his apartment and confront him with what he was inviting upon himself.
On the other hand, Damien was a highly intelligent man. Maybe he knew precisely what he was doing. Maybe he had already counted the cost of a second marriage to Lyn and accepted it as the price to be paid for the family he wanted. After all, Lyn had been his first choice as the mother of his children. His first love. Natalie couldn’t be sure the spark wasn’t still there. She had never seen Lyn and Damien together.
Of course, there was the possibility that Lyn was lying through her teeth about what had gone on with Damien last Saturday. When Lyn had poured out her woes over the break-up with Julian, Damien might have reciprocated with an account of the disastrous fresh start with Natalie. Perhaps, Lyn had seized the opportunity today to drive a decisive wedge into the situation between them, leaving the way open for her to inveigle Damien into a second marriage that would provide her with what she wanted.
In which case, she had to be stopped, and what better time than right now? Natalie no longer had any doubts about Damien’s integrity. She was ready to make the commitment he wanted from her. She wanted to make it. She hoped she hadn’t lost him through not trusting her instincts.
The taxi she had caught from the city pulled up at her house. Natalie didn’t get out. She checked her watch. It was well past six o’clock. Damien would probably be home from work by now. If not, she could wait for him. She leaned forward and redirected the driver to Damien’s apartment in Collaroy.
Natalie immediately started planning what she would say to Damien. The more she thought about it, the less she liked the various scenarios that ran through her mind. They all revolved around her visit to Lyn, and how could she explain that away without it being offensive to Damien?
‘I went to find out what kind of husband you’d been.’
The scorn in his eyes would be spine-chilling. ‘I see. Would you like to see my character references, as well?’
Worse was, ‘I needed to know if you’d been unfaithful when you were married.’
Utter disgust. ‘Still bracketing me with Brett.’
There was no way that Natalie could see where she could come out of it well. Her heart cramped as she imagined Damien saying, ‘At least I know what to expect with Lyn. She won’t be checking me out with all and sundry behind my back. Nor will she be flinging false and unfair accusations in my face.’
Natalie sagged back in the car-seat and closed her eyes. She had made a bed of nails for herself in not trusting Damien. How on earth was she going to climb out of it without lasting injury?
She remembered the words she had flung at him at Merlinmist...’How can you ever be forgiven?’ When she considered his patience, his caring, his unstinting giving to her, how could she ever be forgiven for accusing him of motives that related entirely to Brett?
‘This is it, lady.’
Natalie’s eyes flew open. She stared out at the block of apartments that contained the home Damien had made for himself. What was she going to do? What could she say?
‘Want to change your mind again?’ the driver asked cheerfully.
The memory of their parting at Merlinmist came rushing back to her... Damien’s concern that he be told if she had conceived...a man who took his responsibilities seriously. She had put such an outcome to the back of her mind, not wanting to think about it or deal with it. But it was a way back to him, a far more effective way than trying to excuse her doubts and fears. If she was pregnant, delivering the news to Damien would give her the opportunity to demonstrate she now believed all he had told her.
Hopefully, it would also spike Lyn’s guns!
‘Driver, I need to go to a chemist shop. Do you know where there might be one open?’
‘No problem,’ he said, sounding amused.
Natalie flushed. He probably thought she was considering a ‘hot date’, and wanted to come prepared for all eventualities.
He drove straight to a shopping centre along one of the streets in Collaroy and parked outside a chemist’s, engine and meter still running. Natalie rather unnecessarily asked him to wait. The driver was happily aware he was on easy money with this fare.
She purchased a pregnancy test-kit, enquiring of the pharmacist how long after conception would the test give a definitive result. He informed her that the tests were so sensitive now, it was possible to get a result within a couple of days. It would be accurate provided she followed the instructions accompanying the kit. Satisfied with this information, Natalie returned to the taxi.
‘Back to the Narrabeen address, please, driver.’
‘Whatever you like, lady,’ he agreed, grinning from ear to ear.
Natalie felt considerably lighter-hearted herself. Of course, she might not be pregnant, but the test was, at least, a decisive place to start for formulating a plan to recover the ground she had lost with Damien.
Then a terrible thought struck her. If she had conceived last week...and if Damien had slept with Lyn on the rebound...and Lyn had deliberately missed taking whatever contraceptive pill she would probably have been using with Julian...both of them could be pregnant to Damien. The thought of Damien becoming a father twice over at almost the same time made Natalie’s hair rise.
It lent an extra urgency to using the test.
She could hardly make Damien’s choice for him, but Natalie was not about to stand back and let Lyn make all the running where Damien was concerned. Certainly she could not afford to let a month go by before contacting him, pregnant or not. Somehow, she had to counteract the damage she had done in turning on him as she had at Merlinmist.
Once back at Narrabeen, Natalie paid off the taxi-driver, adding a tip that inspired him to wish her the best of luck. She would need every bit of it, she thought, wondering if Lyn was with Damien right at this moment, giving him her version of today’s meeting, undermining Natalie’s credibility with malice aforethought.
The instructions on the test-kit advised that early morning was the best time to carry out the test, when urine had been stored in the bladder for four hours.
Natalie spent a restless night. Damien’s protests kept preying on her mind... ‘Do I have to wait for another car accident? Another lifetime?’
She still had no recollection of the day of the accident. She suspected that Damien had revealed his desire for her and she had reacted badly, colouring his motives with Brett’s attitudes. Had that come as a shock to him, finding himself put in another man’s shoes?
Would she ever have accepted Damien’s pursuit of her had she not lost her memory? Probably not. The emotional garbage from her marriage was mountainous. Only by having it cleared away for a while had she been able to see Damien in a different light. It was now paramount she convince him that the return of her memory would not form a running sore between them, a sore which would never heal.
Otherwise, Lyn could win.
It was with mixed feelings that Natalie carried out the test the next morning. It was wrong to use a child to hold a man. She couldn’t...wouldn’t do it. If Damien showed any sign of being unsure about their future together, she would not push for the marriage she now wanted. On the other hand, she could and would let him know where he stood with
her.
The result was positive.
Relief and joy were swiftly followed by a sense of wonderment. She was going to have another child. Would it be a girl this time? It would be lovely to have a daughter, although of course a son would be just as welcome. The impulse to share the news with Damien had Natalie rushing to the telephone.
But telling him wasn’t enough. She needed to be with him, to watch his face, to see how he responded to the confirmed fact of her having his child. That would tell her more than anything else how matters stood between them.
It was early. She had time to catch him at home before he went to work. Natalie dressed at top speed, rang for a taxi, and was on her way to Damien within twenty minutes. Again she spent the trip to his home planning what to say to him, how best to put it. She couldn’t burst out with the simple fact she was pregnant. She needed to tell him much more. Or did she? Announcing their child-to-be might be the best ice-breaker.
Natalie was still in two minds about what approach to take as she stood outside Damien’s door, waiting for him to answer the button she had pressed. She doubted she had ever felt quite so nervous in her life. Not even on the day she had married Brett.
The door opened.
Damien looked at her in blank surprise.
She stared back, choked by the memory of the intimacy she had rejected. He wasn’t dressed. The short wrap-around robe he wore left a deep V of chest bare, as well as his forearms and lower legs. Whether he was completely naked underneath the robe or not was irrelevant. Natalie remembered him naked, and she was swept by a desire so strong that any words she might have spoken were completely jumbled in her mind. Her heart pumped a flood of heat through her body.
