“No, but you have to keep it secret. Promise me,” Theo said urgently.
“Sure,” I answered, giving him a lopsided smile. “Spill it.”
“You know that Danial had a cat a while back, right?”
“Yes,” I said slowly. “He never said what happened to it.” I’d assumed the worst: that it had been run over accidentally, or that one of the werefoxes had eaten it.
“It died of old age. He loved it a lot. He called it Blackavar, Blackie, for short.”
“It was a black cat?” I asked. Danial had always liked Cavity best of all my cats. He was all black, too.
“Yes. Anyway, when I was bringing over more wood from the woodshed last night, I found a black cat in the woodshed. Though it clawed me up, I managed to get it inside the garage and get out without it escaping. It’s really thin—”
“Why didn’t you say so?” I said emphatically, practically gushing empathy. “Did you feed it? Give it water?”
“Yes and yes. I grabbed the heated bowl and bed from the basement. He ate two cans of food, a bag of treats, and some dry food, too. He was friendly afterwards, when he saw I wasn’t going to hurt him.”
I wasn’t surprised Theo had found him in the woodshed. People often dumped cats near barns, thinking that there had to be farm animals inside, and no one would care if another cat showed up. But in my barn there were no animals to keep it warm, no water to drink, and no food. It was also locked up tight, to protect my equipment. The cat would have met a bad end if Theo hadn’t gotten the wood. I might have missed the cat entirely, and likely would have been too slow to catch him if I had.
“I want to bring him to Danial, for a present,” Theo continued. “I know Danial will take good care of him. But I want him to be checked out by a vet first. The earliest appointment I could get was tomorrow at four.”
“You’re afraid he has something?”
Theo nodded. “He coughs. If he’s sick, I want to know with what,” he said grimly. “If he’s only going to live a little while, I want Danial to know that up front.”
Danial would certainly outlive the cat, even if it were young. He should know going into it if he might have twenty years with his new pet or only two months. “I won’t say anything.”
After I got the fire going again, and let the dogs out, I began packing while Theo checked on the cat.
After gathering some food in a box and a cooler and my vitamins from Camlyn, I went into the bedroom, wondering what else to pack.
Besides my fox head choker and earrings, the first thing that came to mind was the red dress, Danial’s favorite thing for me to wear. But as that was in one of Danial’s memory boxes, it wasn’t an option. Besides, it was going to be cold, and we were staying in a park, supposedly in order to enjoy the outdoors, neither condition optimal for wearing a dress. A better bet would be jeans and lots of polar fleece.
With my one duffel full of warm clothes, I opened the other, debating lingerie. Danial was thinking of this as a sort of honeymoon, regardless of what he said. Blood wasn’t all he would be after...
Instantly, my memory of being with Lash sprang into my mind in vivid detail. Nauseous, I went to my calendar and marked the days I’d have to be careful. By next Sunday night, I should be safe. Even so, I should see Dr. Camlyn, just to make sure. Maybe he could test me first, to make sure I was free of whatever disease this was.
My nausea increased. I’d never worried too much about STDs before. Sure, I’d gone to the doctor’s regularly, but I’d never thought this could ever really happen to me. I’d been able to count my lovers on one hand before Lash. But those days were over, had been over the minute I’d let myself be with someone I hardly knew...
Get a grip already. I was smarter now, and going to stay smart. Maybe I couldn’t control who I let have me when I felt The Lust. But I could be conscious of who I was with at all times, and make sure to never be alone with someone I wasn’t sure would be safe for me to be with.
Theo came in. “The cat’s fine; he’s eating again. Want to go for a dog walk?”
I nodded. “Sure. If it keeps being this warm, it’s going to be spring.”
We took the dogs for a long walk, walking hand in hand in the snow, just enjoying the soft wind and the warmer weather. Then when we got back to the house, they both saw my bags and immediately began to be agitated, panting and giving me uneasy looks punctuated with whines.
“Sorry,” I said affectionately, hugging them. “You can’t go with me this time. The rental houses all have a no pets policy.” I gave them some dog cookies, then gave my cats some treats as well. “But here, treats all around.”
Cavity and Jessica inhaled the snacks in seconds, then meowed for more. As I watched them eat, I decided to bring some treats to Devlin’s cat the next time I visited. Dev would appreciate it, even if Phantom was one of those rare cats who didn’t like treats.
Theo came in with his duffel bag. “I’m set. Do you want me to heat up something for dinner?”
We had another hour before Danial got here, but Theo’s hungry expression wasn’t for food. “What did you have in mind?”
“Maybe ravioli?” he offered, going to the cupboard. “I’m not particular.”
Instantly, The Lust washed over me. “I am,” I said huskily, going after him and kissing him hard. “And I’m not after food, Cat.”
He kissed me back, his arms crushing me to him, his tongue thrusting into my mouth. Then he tried to stop me. “Wait, we can’t,” he groaned, agonized. “Stop, Sar—”
“We can, Theo. Remember our honeymoon?” I said, kissing him on his neck. “Remember what I did for you?”
Theo pulled back from me, his eyes a dark midnight blue. He picked me up, and quickly carried me to our bedroom. A second later, he was kissing me, grinding into me, as I helped him to pull off his shirt and pants. He let out a gasp as his penis came free of his clothes, gently bobbing, already erect for me. I pushed him down on the bed, then went down on him.
He was too close for finesse, too close for gentleness. I just stroked him hard and fast. A moment later, he spasmed within me, letting out a roar of pleasure.
I slipped his softened penis out of my mouth and began stroking him gently with my fingers. In a moment, he firmed up again, and began to contract in my hands. I began to rub my body on him, to bite him gently, to run both my hands and lips over him. But I didn’t take him inside me. Soon he was straining up towards me, impossibly hard, trembling in desperate need.
“Tell me what you want, Theo,” I said silkily, working him with my hand. “Tell me how good I feel to you.” I bit him again gently, licking him.
“Sar, please!” he said raggedly. “Please.”
“Please what?” I whispered, then gently slipped my lips over the head of him. He let out a cry, and thrust up hard. I was ready for him, moving back quickly to avoid being impaled. “No. Not until you tell me,” I hissed gently. “Not until you beg me—”
Theo took hold of my neck and head, his hands like a vise. I shivered to feel him hold me like that, knowing what he was going to do.
“Take me in you all the way,” Theo growled, pure desire in each syllable. “And don’t stop taking me, even when I come.”
I didn’t reply, just slipped my mouth over him and swallowed. He arched up, burying himself into my throat, his hands holding me as he thrust. I took him in over and over, moving on him, sucking him. I wanted him, wanted him to scream for me, wanted him to give himself to me!
Theo thrust himself in deeply, screaming, jerking as he came. I kept moving on him, sucking and squeezing, and he kept coming, crying out repeatedly. Finally, his cries subsided, and he began to shrink. As he did, The Lust left me. I relaxed to the bed, my muscles aching from being rigid for so long.
Theo pulled me gently up into his embrace. “Was it too much?” he said, vastly contented, yet also concerned.
My jaw muscles were a little sore, but I’d keep that to myself. “I’m fine, Theo.”
“The Lust had me,” I admitted.
His eyes widened. “I thought you just wanted me badly,” Theo said, clearly disappointed.
“I did.” My face split in a large smile. “Though I was worried you might be too much for me.”
“That’s a new one,” Theo said, turning to look at me curiously. “Explain.”
“I know you recover fast after climax,” I said tactfully. “You always have.” I gave him another smile. “I’m glad you were satisfied with what I could give you.”
“I’m were,” Theo said, as if that explained everything.
I gave him a blank look. “And?”
“From what I understand from the foxes, most of us have fast recovery times.” He took my hand and squeezed it. “I like that you’re multi-orgasmic, that I can bring you again and again. But I don’t need that every time. I can be completely satisfied with one, like Danial and Devlin are.”
It had been two, not one, but I didn’t say anything, too engrossed in thoughts of Devlin. He wasn’t were, yet he’d managed to acquire that skill somehow. More importantly, if Theo could rein himself in, so could Devlin. He didn’t have to have marathon sex. One orgasm could be enough, if he wanted it to be. But would Devlin agree to that? Something told me he would not. He liked the act itself, not only the end result...
“Why are you frowning?” Theo murmured.
“Because I have to get up,” I lied quickly. “Danial will be here soon.”
Less than a half hour later, Danial’s headlights shone in the darkness as his Expedition drove down the driveway.
“Call me,” Theo said quickly. “Every day, just to check in.”
“Sure,” I said, hugging him. “But don’t get upset if it’s late in the day.”
He gave me a last deep kiss, and then turned away, heading into the other room.
“I love you,” I whispered, knowing he would hear me. I hugged Ghost and Darkness good-bye, and then went out to Danial, my bag over my shoulder, the box and cooler stacked in my arms.
I put the box and bag in the backseat, then climbed in beside him. Danial flashed me a ready smile. “All set?” he said, giving me a soft look.
“Yes,” I replied, buckling myself in. “Hand your navigator the maps.”
He handed me a piece of paper. “The route’s simple. It is four hours, maybe five, if we hit traffic or construction. We’ll be there about midnight, probably.”
Plus there was still checking in to do, once we got there. “Sounds good.”
“Was Theo okay?” Danial asked after a few minutes.
He regretted the comment about how it would have been better for me if I hadn’t found Theo. “He’s fine. He knew you didn’t mean it.”
“I didn’t,” Danial replied. “I was just tired of his constant complaining.”
“Can I ask you some things?” I ventured.
“What?” Danial said, glancing quickly at me.
“There are some things we should have talked about years ago. I know you don’t like to talk about your past—”
“I don’t like to remember the time before I met you,” Danial said quickly. “I don’t want to talk about it, Sar. I have never understood why you would want to hear about it, either.”
I didn’t reply. I’d heard this so often in the years I’d known him that I was used to it now. The silence stretched.
It was more than an hour later when I broke the silence. “We have issues that need to be resolved. Not talking about them doesn’t make them go away. Please, instead of putting me off; just give me the answers I need, Danial.”
“Go ahead,” Danial said after a moment, his tone neutral.
“Understand, I’m not judging you, or looking for you to give a certain response,” I said gently. “I just want to know the truth. Please tell me, even if you think it will hurt me—”
Danial pulled over to the side of the road and shut off the engine. Then he turned and faced me, his eyes gleaming red in the dashboard light. “Why are you saying these things to me? Why now? You know how much I wanted to finally be alone with you—”
“There was never a good time,” I said bluntly, cutting him off, “even when I lived with you. You always gave me the same answer you did earlier tonight. I was okay to let it go then, because it wasn’t worth fighting with you over. But I’ve had enough of secrets. A few of my questions are long overdue for answers, Danial, and only you possess them.”
Danial sighed. “You are your mother’s daughter,” he said, shooting me a look. “Will any of what you’ll ask cause me to swerve when I’m driving?”
“Only one. It has to do with your past.”
“Then ask it now, while we’re stationary,” Danial said curtly.
“Why did you name your son from your first marriage David? Devlin’s father, your father, he wanted you to be called David, but your mother refused. If you hated him so, why name your son after him?”
Danial sighed, and looked away from me. “Because we were dirt poor. When you work hard for weeks and months, and have nothing to show for it, you grasp at straws. I knew if I named him David my father would be pleased. I hoped that he would take care of my son and my wife, as he had my mother and me, if something happened to me. I worried about them the way I worry about you, Sar. The life expectancy of a guard was short. Old age was forties and fifties in those times. I expected to die before I saw David grow into a man.”
I went to take his hand, but he held it out of reach. “No, Sar,” he said coldly. “Keep asking your questions. I know you aren’t finished.”
“Why be a guard, if you thought you might be killed?”
“I cared more about my family than myself. Devlin must have told you about the drought we faced, when he told you about our youth.”
I nodded, even though he wasn’t looking at me. “Was Theoron your mother’s brother?”
“Yes,” Danial said curtly. “He was the only one who was kind to me, of my mother’s whole family. They all knew whose bastard I was.”
I didn’t reply.
“Are you done?” Danial said angrily.
“Yes,” I said reluctantly.
He turned to me. “Why would you need to know that?” he said, his eyes searching mine. “What have you gained by having me dredge this up for you?”
“I wanted to understand why you didn’t want to name our child David. I knew you picked Theoron in part for Theo, but I knew how much you loved your firstborn son. I almost suggested the name David to you then, but I wasn’t sure how you would take it. After Devlin told me what he did about your past, I was shocked. I didn’t understand why you had done what you did, and I wanted to.”
Danial’s look softened. He put his hand over mine. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I have many bad memories, Sar. Don’t think badly of me, for wanting to forget them and just think of you, Elle, and Theoron.”
“I won’t ask you again about your mortal days. I give you my word.”
Danial restarted the Expedition. “By your very tone, you have more to ask. Ask.”
“Did you have to pay off Tony or his boss Thane when you and Dev killed Angelica?”
“No,” Danial answered curtly. “But I know you don’t care if I had to pay them off. When you ask your questions, Sar, explain what you are confused about, so we don’t spend all night talking around the real question. What do you really want to know?”
It was harsh, but it would save time. “I want to know if the mob is angry with you for what you did back then. I need to know if they might be after any of us. Devlin is still doing jobs for them, so maybe it’s all in the past. Theo said there were bounties on his head, and you said a month ago that there was one on yours. Is it the mob?”
“No,” Danial said. “Tony and Thane know what I am; Dev, too. Angelica was no relation to them, and she had no family
. I told them point blank what I did to her and why. They agreed she had it coming for betraying me the way she did. She didn’t have pain as you had when we bit you. It was quick for her, a matter of minutes. Also, the mob doesn’t care what Devlin does, so long as he gets their jobs done quickly and cleanly. They would not have raised any fuss over a murdered girl.”
I looked up at him, then away.
“She’s buried out in my forest, in the graveyard. I gave her no marker, but I go there sometimes to remember her. I buried her with her choker, if you are going to ask that next.”
His words held sadness. “I wasn’t,” I said softly. “But she would have liked that.”
I’d hated Angelica, but she was dead. Danial had killed her because of me. The least I could do was forgive her, these years later.
“Monica is next to her,” Danial said quietly. “She also has no headstone.”
Neither of us spoke for some minutes.
“I had a choker made for her, at her request,” Danial continued finally. “She gave me her Oath one night, and I accepted. She was jealous of you. I compounded the problem by calling her by your name one night when we were intimate. I thought if she also had one to wear, maybe she wouldn’t be so envious.”
“She said that. That night I shot her, she told me that. But I didn’t know you were Oathed.” I tried to add I was sorry, but couldn’t bring myself to lie.
“We were,” Danial replied. “She wanted to be in my bed, to be my only lover. I gave her my promise that she would be. I knew she loved me, though I didn’t love her.”
I face him skeptically. “It’s okay if you loved her, Danial. I know about what she was going to do for you, that she wanted to have a child for you. I know she asked Terian to get some of my blood so she could try to change hers, so she would be able to—”
Danial swerved, narrowly missing an RV. I grabbed onto the seat, holding on for dear life, letting out a scream. He finally got the SUV under control, and pulled it again to the side of the road.
“How the hell could you just announce that, damn it!”
“I’m sorry,” I said meekly. “I thought you knew, that she’d talked about it with you or at least that you had an inkling of what she was planning—” I trailed off. Danial was slumped over the steering wheel, shaking as he cried.
Point of No Return Page 22
