Point of No Return

by Tara Fox Hall

  “Wonderful,” I murmured, kissing him deeply. “I want you, Danial.”

  He kissed me almost desperately, instantly more forceful, bearing down with his hips to get in as deep as he could. I clasped his hips to mine, loving the feeling of his body contracting over mine, over and over.

  Like Lash, that night he had bitten me so deeply...

  In seconds, The Lust took control. I grabbed Danial’s hair, made a fist, then yanked it back hard. Danial winced, then looked down at me in worry. “Sar?”

  “None of your sweet love,” I hissed.

  He knew immediately what had happened. “What do you want?” he said gutturally. “What do you need?”

  “You,” I said, thrusting up hard against him, so he let out a gasp. “Your fangs, your hardness in me as far as they’ll go. Drink me down like water as you take me.”

  Without a word, Danial began to push himself savagely into me. He reared back, baring his fangs, then sank them in deeply. I cried out loudly, clasping him close as he sighed, drinking deep. I shook under him in pleasure. I was so close, so close! The pleasure went on and on, never cresting, only building higher and higher. Danial began to shake.

  He would come in a few more seconds. I needed him to bring me! I couldn’t bear it, if he stopped now, leaving me so close! “Bite me again!” I said desperately. “Again!”

  Danial paused, then growled and sank his fangs into the other side of my neck. I came at once, screaming his name, convulsing under him. He held me tightly, his mouth locked on my neck as he thrust deeply into me one last time, shuddering as he expended himself.

  As my orgasm ebbed, Danial began healing the bites he had given me. Relieved the pain was easing, I lay still under him, breathing as hard as he was.

  He embraced me loosely. “You never came for me before like this when The Lust had you. Never.”

  “I know. Something’s different.”

  “When you were with Lash, the result was the same? Did he also take your blood?”

  He was asking because he was worried, not out of jealousy. Still uneasy, I admitted, “Yes, to both questions. But maybe if you have drunk my blood, back when I was first pregnant, I would have come then, too—”

  “God damn it!” Danial swore, his tone recriminating. “I’m not supposed to drink your blood when you’re pregnant. Damn it!”

  “I have been taking the vitamins,” I said, trying to soothe him. “You didn’t take much.”

  “All the same,” Danial said. “I won’t drink your blood again. But I’m very happy you enjoyed it.” He paused. “I thought the drug would take effect by now. You had only just been exposed—”

  “Can we not talk about that?” I said, putting my finger to his lips. “I’m glad too, but I don’t want to remember any of that, not here. Not now.”

  Danial nodded. “Of course. Get some sleep.”

  * * * *

  Tuesday passed in a blur. I slept for most of the day after breakfast, again two helpings worth.

  Theo reported via phone that Danial’s new cat was fine, and it was now at his home. “It had a bad upper respiratory infection, but he’s better already from the shot the vet gave him.”

  “I’m proud of you,” I said warmly. “You saved its life.” As I went upstairs afterwards, I was pleased. Living with me was rubbing off on him.

  Danial slept all day, cradling me as he liked to when I joined him. I watched him sleep for a little while, liking to see him so relaxed and happy. He’d been unhappy most of his life. He deserved to be as happy as I could make him.

  We awoke at dusk, and again went for a walk, though this time it was in the other direction. We walked down close to the river, heard the rapids rushing unseen in the darkness, admiring the beautiful stonework of the many small bridges and fences. I was dismayed to see many of the fences were crumbling. Some stairs steps had eroded and broken, making them treacherous, and a more than a few stones were missing from the topmost edges of the many walls. “What happened?” I asked. “Why is the old stonework not being repaired? It looked like things are falling apart and aren’t being maintained.”

  Danial turned back to look at the lower falls, the spotlights shining through the heavy mist rising around us from the cascading water. “Time,” he answered. “There is no one who is willing to do what needs to be done here to fix things, in these times of greed, not for what the parks could afford to pay.”

  “But it’s so beautiful,” I said dejectedly. “To just let it fall to ruin—”

  Danial put his arms around me. “Everything changes,” he said softly, resting his head on mine. “The curse of all things is that they age and die, be they works of man of living beings. But I will stay the same, Sar. And you will age more gracefully, too.”

  There was dampness on my face from the mist, but also from his tears. The roar of the waterfall was loud, but his next words crystal clear.

  “You don’t know what it means to me to know I don’t have to lose you. That now after all the lonely years, I don’t have to be content with just a few decades, or a half-century. We’ll be together always, just like we are tonight.”

  His relief and love enfolded each word, their sheer power not only making me blissfully happy, but also a little afraid. “How did you adapt, Danial? I’m used to the world the way it is. I’m afraid to see it transform, after how much I’ve seen it change just in my lifetime. I worry I won’t be able to keep going when everything I’m used to fades.”

  “I’ll be here with you. So will Dev,” Danial said, holding me tight. “Theoron will also be with us, and Dev’s child, and Terian—”

  “But Theo is mortal. So are Elle and my parents and all of the weres we know. It’s not a problem now. We’re all relatively young. But what about when he’s fifty or sixty? When these people I love begin to die and I still look the same?”

  “Are you worried you won’t love him when he’s old?” Danial said chidingly.

  “I’ll always love him. But Dev said I would live to see him die. That hurts so much, Danial.”

  “Now you know how I felt when you were mortal,” Danial replied. “Enjoy the time you have with him. That is all that you can do, Sar. There is no other option.”

  “There is a potion Lash takes,” I said quickly. “Could we possibly get Theo to take it? Lash said he was over a hundred—”

  Distaste filled his eyes, loathing his tone. “That potion he takes is not a good thing. Lash has life when by all rights he should be dead. He pays a heavy price for that life. The side effects of that potion are said to be many. Come, we’ll be late for dinner.”

  * * * *

  The next morning I awoke a little after dawn, starving. Grumpily, I grabbed a red oversize fleece shirt of Danial’s, and slipped it on. Where had last night’s spectacular dinner gone? I’d been stuffed when we’d walked back up the steep hill to the cottage.

  Danial stirred. “Where are you going?”

  “To get some breakfast.” I kissed his cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”

  I went downstairs softly singing “Lady in Red” to find Lash waiting at the kitchen table.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I blinked. Lash was still sprawled at the table, sitting there quietly reading a book.

  Lash read books? “What are you doing here?” I blurted out, my voice so loud in the room I immediately flushed.

  Lash slowly looked up from his book, moving his head sinuously, his flat eyes fastening on me. Those eyes traveled unhurried from my feet to my face. I got redder and redder, thinking about how I didn’t have anything on underneath, how I had to smell of sex. Please, God, let The Lust not show itself until he was gone...

  “It is ten a.m., Sar. Devlin was worried when you didn’t show up at eight,” Lash hissed finally. “He had Titus bring me here, when he teleported in for the day. Rather than interrupt your playdate with Danial, I thought it best to wait downstairs.”

  “For two hours? You’ve been down here waiting for two hours?” I
squeaked.

  “Yes,” Lash hissed. “Are you ready to go? Serena is waiting for you.”

  Get a grip already, Sar. So what if we’d had sex...instantly I got a visual memory and looked away from his flat eyes, flushing again.

  Lash smiled a little, just enough to twist his scarred face. “Take your time. I’m at a good part.” His tongue flicked out, then vibrated. “I want to relish it.”

  I’ll bet. “I need to go tell Danial I’m leaving and get dressed.” How could I back out of here without seeming to back out?

  “Danial,” Lash said, nodding once.

  “Lash,” Danial said coolly, as he came up behind me. “Go upstairs and get dressed, Love. I’ll wait here.”

  “You should be more careful,” Lash said softly to Danial. “You didn’t hear me slide myself in hours ago. The door you thought you locked was not locked at all, not to me. And I want you to know, Danial, if you leave me an opening I can wriggle into, I’ll get in again just like I did before.”

  My heart was beating out of my chest, because he wasn’t talking about this house at all. He was talking about me.

  Danial’s arms tightened around me as he bared his fangs. “You had better be careful of your words, Snake,” he said coldly. “Now you’ve given your message, go back to Hayden and tell Devlin that Sar will be along in about a half hour. I want to talk with her in private before she goes.”

  Lash nodded, his eyes moving from Danial to me, then back to Danial. He got to his feet. “I’ll tell him,” he said calmly. “Remember my warning.” He looked to me. “I’ll be seeing you at Hayden, Sar,” he hissed, a strong undercurrent of meaning in his words. He went to the door, grabbing his wool jacket from the coat rack with an easy motion. The door shut behind him soundlessly.

  Danial locked the door behind him, and then hugged me tightly. “Do you want to shower?” he asked. “I don’t want you to go out with wet hair.”

  I didn’t count teleporting as “going out”, but if I was going to be around Lash, I wanted Danial’s scent on me as much as my choker. “No, I’ll do that when I get back before dinner.”

  I got dressed quickly, and then kissed Danial good-bye. “Be careful, okay?”

  “Always. Come back by dusk,” Danial said, giving me a soft look. “I’ll be done by then.”

  I went to leave, but he stopped me. “Forget what he said, Sar,” Danial said soothingly. “He’s never liked me, and he liked me a lot less after I took Dev’s power away from him. He wanted to hurt me, and he knows how I feel about you. That was all there was to it.”

  I nodded. “I’ll see you tonight.” Before I lost my nerve, I teleported, ending up in Hayden’s kitchen. Serena was there waiting.

  The sight of her immediately put me at ease. “Are you ready?” I said, giving her a smile. “I’m sorry I’m so late.”

  “Don’t mention it, Sar. I know how it goes,” she said smiling. “Sometimes they go all night.”

  Whoa, complete TMI. To cover my lack of reply, I quickly got out one of the cookbooks I had bought when I’d been out with Lash, and paged through it to the baking section. “How does banana bread and apple pie sound for today?”

  “Great,” she said. “I told Vince last night about your teaching me to cook. He asked if we would be making pie. He keeps in touch with Brian, and Brian has told him what a good cook you are.”

  I didn’t want to make anything for Vince. I still thought of him and Kev as marginal jerks for attacking my house that night. But to be fair, I’d forgiven Devlin, the ringmaster behind that attack. Vince and Kev had just been following his orders. Serena would be the one making him pie. I was just the one teaching her how to do it.

  I showed her how to mash the bananas, and crush up the nuts in the new blender. We made a double batch, with her completing the second one. Soon, the smell of baking bread permeated the kitchen.

  “We have about an hour,” I said, washing my hands. “Let’s work on the pie. It won’t take long.”

  I showed her how to work the food processor, and how to prepare the filling. “Pie crust is easy, provided you have a good pastry cutter and a good rolling pin.” I showed her how to make the dough, but as before, I let her do all the work.

  Serena was quieter that Cia or Janice had ever been when we’d cooked together. While some of it might be her personality, I chalked it up to her not knowing me that well. I could understand that. I was a little shy myself.

  “Is that it?” she said worriedly. “It doesn’t look right.”

  “You flute the edges with your fingers,” I said, demonstrating the technique. “Or use a fork. The prettiest thing to do is use cookie cutters.”

  “But we aren’t making cookies,” she said, her brow knitting.

  “You can use them to form the pie dough into shapes. Here is a leaf one, or a heart one, if you prefer.” I offered them to her. Serena blushed, then took the leaf one.

  I showed her how to lay the leaves on the edge to make a border, and then I brushed the pie with cinnamon and sugar. “It’s done,” I said with approval. “When the bread comes out, let the stove heat up to a higher temperature for the pie, and then put it in for the set time. The timer is right here.”

  “Thanks,” Serena said, giving me a smile. “I appreciate you doing this for me. I wasn’t sure you would want to.”

  “Why not?” I asked. “Because you’re part coyote?”

  She looked utterly shocked.

  Shit! Maybe I wasn’t supposed to know that? “Sorry, if I—”

  “No, because of what I do here,” she said almost inaudibly. “The other women avoid me.”

  Bitches. I’d known I wasn’t going to like Valerie as soon as I saw her blue eyes, that same shade Monica’s had been. Good thing I hadn’t told her she could call me Sar. Sarelle was good enough for her.

  Serena was still quiet and crestfallen.

  “What you do is important,” I said carefully. “I don’t judge you for it. I have more than one lover. Sometimes it happens.”

  “You aren’t paid to do it,” she whispered. “You do it because you love them.”

  I had no answer to that. Instead, I busied myself instead cleaning up some of the mess we had on the counters, loading the dishwasher. Serena worked next to me in silence for a while.

  “This was a new recipe for me,” I said finally. “I’d have to try it, the next time I make a pie for Theo—”

  “Is it true that you were with Lash?” she said suddenly.

  I froze. “Why do you ask?”

  “I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I—”

  “Before I answer, who is within hearing distance?” I said, turning around to face her. I didn’t want anyone else to hear me confirm that, much less any details.

  “No one,” she said, closing her eyes and listening. “I don’t hear anyone moving.”

  “Yes, I was,” I said, still working. “What is it you want to know?”

  “I’m sorry—”

  “You must want to know something particular or you wouldn’t be asking,” I said bluntly. “Just ask your question. Unless it’s crass, I’ll answer it.”

  “I understand that the nature of your pregnancy compelled you to seek out a lover,” she said carefully. “I want to know if you were afraid.”

  Afterwards, when I came to my senses. “Yes and no,” I said awkwardly.

  “I’m afraid of him,” she said, shivering. “I’m afraid to be alone with him.”

  If she had a reason, I didn’t want to know it. “Some men are...um...”

  She shook her head. “No. He’s never hurt me in the months I’ve been in Dalcon’s employ.”

  Did that mean he’d hurt her before that? “I think he likes people to be afraid of him. Dev and he are much the same. They thrive on fear, on making others cower before them.”

  Serena nodded agreement. “Having been with him, are you afraid of him now?”

  I shook my head. “I’m not afraid he’ll hurt me. I’m afraid I’ll wan
t him again, though.”

  “Was he bad?” Serena said curiously.

  Her earnestness caught me off guard, breaking the tension like a snapped rubber band. I began laughing hysterically, almost crying. Serena looked at me quizzically for a moment, then joined in.

  It was good to laugh. If I could laugh, things weren’t that bad. “Sorry,” I managed. “It’s just good to share this with another woman.” I met her eyes. “I couldn’t tell anyone, you know?”

  Serena nodded.

  “No,” I answered, wiping my eyes. “He was good, very good actually. He did what I needed him to do. It was over pretty quickly.”

  “Are you sorry?” she asked.

  I turned to her. “Yes. I took vows that I take seriously. When I’m like this, I just don’t care about anything so long as I’m sated. Most of all, I’m scared it’ll happen again. I don’t like not being in control.”

  “I understand,” she said. “I won’t ask again about it, Sar.”

  “It’s okay.” I managed a smile. “I want to be your friend. We’ll get to be friends faster, if we share some truths like these with one another. Tell me a secret, Serena.”

  “All right,” Serena replied. “I wanted you to teach me skills mostly because I was lonely. I miss having a woman to talk to.”

  “Why do the jerks here give you grief?” I asked.

  Serena knew whom I meant. “The usual,” she said, sighing. “They’re afraid I’ll bed their mates, should they turn up at my door asking.” She made a face. “As if I wanted more lovers.”

  “I understand that, girlfriend,” I said, grinning. We both burst out laughing.

  The oven beeped. Serena carefully took out the banana bread and set it to cool on a wire rack.

  I changed the oven temperature. “You’re set. When the light goes off, put the pie in and set the timer. When it goes off, let the pie cool on the rack. The bread will be done by then.”

  Her face fell.

  I put my hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be back after I see Dev. He needs some help.”

  “Ah,” she said, with a knowing smile. “I’ll see you later then.”