by Maisey Yates
All those were easy. They didn’t cost anything but money. Didn’t cost anything but sweat.
Love...love cost more. You had to open yourself up, show all of your ugly places and ask for someone else to give you theirs.
He would have to care for someone who wanted him, and keep her wanting him.
That was terrifying. Not a life spent on this farm, but a life spent away from it.
His chest tightened and anguish rocked him. He could see her face, the way she looked when she said that she loved him and he’d told her no.
This woman who had spent so much of her life being turned away by people, and he had just become one more in a long line of them. He was a bastard.
She didn’t deserve a bastard. She didn’t deserve one more guy using her for his own selfish desires. She deserved someone who would give her a home. Who would keep her forever. Who would give her all the chocolate that she wanted. Who would call her beautiful names, give her enough kind words to erase the ugliness she’d been forced to endure for all those years.
And if he was going to be that man he would have to leave for it. He would have to open himself up. He would have to release his hold on all this anger. He couldn’t love her while he was angry. Couldn’t give her everything she wanted.
Anger made such a wonderful shield, but it kept everything away. Everything bad. Everything good.
There could be no Casey as long as anger and fear controlled him.
He dropped down onto his knees at the foot of his bed, bone cracking hard against the floor. He didn’t know what he wanted. He only knew it wasn’t this.
That’s a lie. You know what you want. You’re too afraid to take it.
Yes, he was. He was too afraid to be the man she needed. Didn’t know what the hell he would do if he didn’t have all of this to hide behind.
You won’t know unless you stop fighting. Stop blaming other people.
It was easy to blame his father for the situation he was in. But they were his choices. His. She was right. He couldn’t continue laying blame in his father’s door. Not for decisions he’d made. He was nothing more than what he decided to be. And now he would be alone because of his decisions, too.
“No,” he said out loud, rising to his feet. “No.”
He had given up a future once. One that he didn’t see the use in fighting for. But he was not giving Casey up.
CHAPTER TWELVE
SHE WAS DYING. Okay. She probably wasn’t dying. But she kind of wished she were dead. And if someone called her baby one more time tonight she was going to shank them with the wrong end of a busted ketchup bottle.
Heartbreak made her mean.
Casey sighed and walked back behind the bar. She pulled out a towel and wrung it out into the bucket of water before setting it on the countertop to wipe at imaginary dirt. Anything to keep her hands busy. So she didn’t, like, strangle someone. Or pull out her own hair. Or rend her garments in some biblical expression of grief she hadn’t even known she was capable of feeling. Damn Aiden.
He was a damn ruiner. Worse, he was a fixer who ruined what he fixed because he was an assbutt who couldn’t handle anything real.
She should know.
She’d been the same until a week ago.
And now she was...devastated. Stripped completely of all of her pride. Still waiting tables in a bar, alone as always, and hating it.
So, great. That had really worked out.
Except in some ways she felt lighter than she had in years. In some ways, she felt completely different even though the circumstances around her remained the same. She was back to sleeping in a tent, but that tent had felt different ever since Aiden had made love to her in it. She felt different. She was different.
Too bad he was choosing to stay the same.
He was stubborn. He was scared. It was pretty sad when a maladjusted foster child was able to sort out her own shit faster than a guy like him. She grimaced as she continued to scrub at the already clean counter.
The door opened and she looked up, her heart rolling over when she saw the striking figure standing in the door, backlit by the sun. Without seeing his face, she knew who it was. She had to do a quick sweep around the bar to see if his father was in here. He wasn’t. Which meant that Aiden was here to talk to her.
He walked deeper into the dining room, a white-and-red shopping bag clutched tightly in his hand. His jaw was clenched tight, his expression as stormy as the first night she’d seen him walk into the bar. He was here, but he wasn’t happy to be here.
Then his eyes met hers, and she revised her opinion. He wasn’t angry. He was scared.
Which, on Aiden, she had discovered looked about the same.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
Out of breath and dizzy, she didn’t have it in her to wait to hear what he had to say. If he was going to be awful, he could hurry up and get it over with. If he had come here to grovel, he could hurry up and get that over with, too. She’d suffered for long enough.
“I came to give you this,” he said, thrusting the plastic bag toward her.
“Are you, like...giving me another piece to my luggage set for the trip out of town? Because that’s fucked up.”
“No,” he said, his expression horrified as he drew the bag back toward his chest, opening the top of it and pulling out a bag of chocolate. “This.” He thrust it back toward her. She could only stare.
“Is this...candy?”
Which was a stupid question to ask, because obviously it was. But she wasn’t entirely sure why he was handing it to her in an empty bar in the middle of the day. Especially after he had just broken her heart.
“It’s chocolate. You should have all of the chocolate that you want. Which is why I bought you a bunch of chocolate. It was supposed to be symbolic. Not offensive. But I’m bad at this. I’m bad at feelings. But I’m stepping outside my comfort zone. My very uncomfortable comfort zone.”
“Which is?”
He took a heavy breath. “The farm. It’s easy to stay disconnected from everything when you’re throwing yourself into something that’s so all-consuming. Even easier when you’ve convinced yourself it’s the moral high ground.”
“Right,” she said, pulling the bag of chocolate into her chest and holding it tight.
“I was using it as a shield. You’re right, I was afraid of becoming my mother. But not with my father. Not with the farm. I was afraid of what it would mean to love someone so much that I would overlook anything they did. That I would even enable their self-destruction because I didn’t have it in me to speak up. Because I wanted to keep the peace more than I wanted to fix their problems.”
“People like that... You can’t fix their problems.”
“I know. But I watched my father hurt her with his drinking and infidelity, with every broken promise, with no end in sight. I watched her retreat deeper and deeper into this fake idea of a perfect life. Love is... The love that I saw was toxic. It did nothing but destroy. At least in choosing to tie myself to the farm, it was something I could control. It was something that would never devastate me.
“I never thought I could save him. Not really. I was just trying to save myself.” He rubbed his hand over his forehead. “I thought that I was doing it right. That sacrificing myself on the altar of the farm was somehow noble. But it was just a shield. It allowed me to keep everyone at a distance. And when you told me you loved me... It was easier to choose the farm. Because I would rather work hard for no return than make myself vulnerable.”
“So, did you just come here to give me the chocolate and leave?”
He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. “No. I came here to tell you that I’m done hiding. I’m done dealing with other people’s mistakes. I’m finished pouring myself out into something that can never be filled. I want more than that. I want you more than that. And it scares the hell out of me. To want something. To invest in something that can actually succeed. But being without you scares me even
more. I love you, Casey. One week, one month, one year, one lifetime, it won’t make a difference. I’ll love you just the same.”
She looked down at the bag of chocolate and flung it back on the bar top. “Then I don’t really need this chocolate.” She took a step forward, flinging her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. “The only thing I really need is you.”
“But you don’t have to choose. You can have chocolate and me.”
“That seems... That seems too good to be true. Like a whole lot more than I can fit in one trash bag.”
“I’m a little bit heavy for a trash bag. I’ll tear the bottom out.”
“Then I guess I’m going to have to stop moving.” She looked at his face, and his serious blue eyes. “Unless you want to. If you want to run, say the word. We don’t even have to wait for my car. We can get in your truck and drive away.”
“Actually, I was thinking that you should stay. We should stay. Together.”
She smiled, her heart expanding until she thought it might explode. “I would like that.”
EPILOGUE
STARTING FROM SCRATCH was never easy. Casey knew that better than most. She had been starting over every few months for most of her life. But this was different. This wasn’t a temporary fix, short-term plan or a Band-Aid on a life-threatening injury.
She and Aiden were planting roots deep, and it would take time. But it was worth it.
“What do you think?” he asked, walking up beside her and taking her hand.
She looked out across the flat expanse of land, at the mountains behind it, then looked back behind them, at the view of the ocean. “I think it’s perfect. Do you want me to start pitching the tent?”
He smiled at her. “You’re ridiculous. We’ll keep the rental until we can get the house built. And you can choose whatever style you want. It will be your house from the ground up.”
Two years in Copper Ridge, two years with Aiden, and she still didn’t know quite what to do when he said things like that. He had given her so much, and now he was giving her more. Her first home. Her first real home.
“I might be a real diva about this.”
“You can be if you want. You can call me at work and harass me about light fixtures.”
She laughed. “I might.”
For the past couple years she had continued to work at Ace’s. Aiden had taken a job on the Garrett ranch, owned and operated by Connor Garrett and his brother, Sheriff Eli Garrett, saving as much money as he could to put toward a down payment on their land. Their farm.
He had convinced his parents to sell theirs. It hadn’t been easy. Emotionally or otherwise. But they were in a more manageable place, living much more within their means. Not all of their problems were solved, but they weren’t poised on the brink of disaster, either.
Most important, Aiden was free to see to his own life, rather than obsessing over theirs.
“I’m adding a few new words to the list of things I use to define myself.”
He arched a brow. “Are you?”
“Yes. Oregonian. Homeowner. Loved.”
“That last one is the most important.” He dipped his head, kissing her lips. “You are so very loved.”
“So are you.”
“Do you think you have room for one more word on that list?”
“Sure. What word? If it’s ferret, I’m out.”
“You don’t want me to call you my little ferret?”
“Not especially. Anything rodent-related just isn’t all that romantic.”
“Well, good thing it’s not ferret.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. “I was kind of thinking that maybe you wouldn’t mind being called wife.”
There was a time in Casey James’s life when she’d felt like she hadn’t had a connection to anything or anyone. When she’d thought needing that, needing anyone, would be a weakness.
But loving this man for the past two years had taught her the truth was just the opposite. It took so much strength to need. To allow yourself to be needed. To stay in one place and fix your life, instead of leaving discarded, broken pieces behind.
Here, with him, she wasn’t broken anymore. She was finally whole. Finally home.
Tears filled her eyes, love filling her heart so full she thought it might burst. “I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t mind at all.”
* * * * *
In Copper Ridge, Oregon, lasting love with a cowboy is only a happily-ever-after away. Don’t miss any of Maisey Yates’s Copper Ridge tales, available now from HQN Books!
SHOULDA BEEN A COWBOY (Jake and Cassie’s novella)
PART TIME COWBOY (Eli and Sadie’s book)
BROKEDOWN COWBOY (Connor and Liss’s book)
BAD NEWS COWBOY (Jack and Kate’s book)
A COPPER RIDGE CHRISTMAS (Ryan and Holly’s novella)
Can a self-proclaimed tomboy find love with one of Copper Ridge’s biggest players?
Find out in
TAKE ME, COWBOY
from Maisey Yates and Harlequin Desire!
And read on for a sneak peek of Ace’s book,
ONE NIGHT CHARMER,
in which Copper Ridge’s favorite bachelor finally meets his match...
Looking for a Western romance filled with rugged cowboys who’ll get your heart racing? If you can’t get enough of romantic ranchers and you love a sexy Stetson-wearing hero, don’t miss this:
One Night with a Cowboy: A Western Romance Sampler
In this new sampler, we’ve rounded up some of our hottest Western reads by some of our most popular and bestselling authors!
Once a Rancher by Linda Lael Miller
Untamed by Diana Palmer
One Night Charmer by Maisey Yates
Rustler’s Moon by Jodi Thomas
Home on the Ranch by Trish Milburn
Hard Rain by B.J. Daniels
Texas on My Mind by Delores Fossen
Texas Rebels: Jude by Linda Warren
Out Rider by Lindsay McKenna
Hard Silence by Mia Kay
From traditional cowboys to modern mystery-solving wranglers, you’re sure to find the right Western romance for you! So kick off your boots and get ready to be roped by these hot cowboys as they rein in the women of their dreams.
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“Yates returns to a western setting in her latest, and fans of Robyn Carr and RaeAnne Thayne will enjoy her small-town romance.”
—Booklist
USA TODAY bestselling author Maisey Yates welcomes readers to the charming small town of Copper Ridge, Oregon, where love finds you when you least expect it.
Watch sparks fly in One Night Charmer as Copper Ridge’s favorite bachelor meets his match!
Can the golden boy of Copper Ridge get a second chance at happy-ever-after? Find out in Tough Luck Hero!
Don’t miss the excitement in Last Chance Rebel as the bad boy of Copper Ridge finally comes home to stay.
Order your copies today!
Be sure to catch the rest of the titles in this sweet and sexy series:
Hometown Heartbreaker (novella)
A Copper Ridge Christmas
Bad News Cowboy
Brokedown Cowboy
Part Time Cowboy
Shoulda Been A Cowboy (novella)
Can these cowboys find the love they didn’t know they needed?
“Part Time Cowboy is a charismatic, sensual, raw read. Funny, too.”
—USA TODAY
Available wherever ebooks are sold.
Connect with us on Harlequin.com for info on our new releases, access to exclusive offers, free online reads and much more!
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One Night Charmer
by Maisey Yates
SIERRA WEST LOOKED UP at the clock on the wall of Ace’s Bar and everything inside of her sagged. It was just after two thirty in the morning. She stayed out late often enough, but not usually this late. And definitely not usually schlepping drinks and hamburgers.
She wrinkled her nose. That was what she smelled like. Beef, bacon, french fries and exhaustion. It was in her skin.
Suddenly, she felt very small, and very persecuted.
She dragged herself back into the kitchen, setting the dishes on the edge of the sink. At least she didn’t have to wash those. That made her feel slightly less persecuted.
She walked back out into the dining area, untying her apron and setting it on top of the bar.
“That isn’t where that goes,” Ace said, suddenly appearing out of his office like a bearded, flannel-wearing vapor.
“You certainly have a lot of systems,” she told him, rubbing her temples before snatching the apron back up. “Where exactly do I put it?”
“I’ll take it,” he said, reaching his hand out.
His shirtsleeves were pushed up to his elbows, revealing those muscular forearms that her body seemed to be kind of obsessed with.
She tried to think back to her last boyfriend. Had she ever noticed Mark’s forearms? What had they looked like? She made a mental note to go look at a picture of Mark and see if his forearms were spectacular, and if she was suddenly just now into forearms, and hadn’t been back then.
“Why don’t you let me take it,” she said, snatching the apron back. “I’m going to need to know where it goes.”
“You’re stubborn,” Ace said. “You know that?”
“Thanks to you, I do.” She smiled so wide it made her cheeks ache.
“Come back here with me.” He opened the door into the kitchen, which was empty now. “Didn’t you get your own apron when you came this afternoon?”
“No, I traded with one of the other girls.”