“Hello, Evan!” The pleasant voice brightened at the other end.
“Well! Do you have anything to report?”
There was a soft laugh. “Emma is wonderful, and...yes, she is sending you bubbles right now.”
“That’s my girl!” Emma was Sarah’s nine month old daughter. From the first moment he had held the baby, it had been love at first sight. He knew he was a fool, but he just loved the way she slobbered all over him. “Anything else new?”
“Let’s see! She’s teething! And last night she left a permanent mark on David’s chin.”
“Good!” He smiled. “That’s what fathers are for.”
There was a pause and the shuffle of some papers. “Before I forget, Henry called again yesterday and...”
“I talked to him this morning,” he cut in. “And yes, I called Doug, as well. So if either of them calls you today for any reason, tell them I said to hang up on them. In fact, you are welcome to threaten them with harassment.”
“Also, there was a voice mail left here from your publisher about the name of your new editor.”
“I called him already, too.”
“Wow! Aren’t we efficient this morning? Well, that takes care of everything I had for you.”
“Not everything,” he said. “Remember the invitation I got for the Heart Ball?”
“Yes! This Sunday night! I responded for you about three months ago. I told them that you wouldn’t be attending. I told you they were very disappointed that, as one of the leading donors to the charity...”
“Well, I’ve changed my mind,” Evan announced. “Do you still have my tickets?”
“Sure! I’ve got them...” He could hear her desk drawer open. “Yes, they’re right here.”
“Good. I’ll need one of them.”
“Evan?” The young woman cut in before he could hang up. “Are you planning to go alone?”
“Unless you want to dump your husband for the night. Or you decide to let me take that gorgeous daughter of yours to the ball!”
“Hmm! I guess you’ll be going alone, then.”
“My lot in life, Sarah!”
A moment later, as he sat back in his chair, Meg Murphy once again pushed into his mind. She’d probably be back with her husband by then, he reminded himself.
Evan got up from the chair and walked out onto the deck and stood by the railing. Glancing down at her half-opened window, his thoughts returned to their encounter in the park. To the way she had looked at him. She’d seemed interested, even inviting.
“Put her out of your mind,” he whispered, annoyed. But then, in the gentle sea breeze, he thought he caught her scent.
Evan looked down at the brick courtyard, at the roses and the lawn leading to the little dock. There was no one that he could see, but still she seemed to be near.
He looked at the lighthouse way out in the bay. It didn’t matter what he did, she was everywhere.
CHAPTER 8
Meg knocked gently before stepping hesitantly into the hospital room. The woman lying in the bed closest to the door gave her a pleasant smile and pointed in the direction of the curtain that blocked off half of the room.
“Are you here to see her?”
“Jada?” Meg asked hopefully.
The new mother smiled and nodded encouragingly toward her roommate.
Meg whispered her thanks and smiled at the baby lying asleep in the mother’s arms, before moving to the edge of curtain and peering beyond.
The blank look on the pretty, young woman lying back against the raised hospital bed caused a knot to form in Meg’s throat.
She didn’t even look up as Meg stepped in.
“Hi, Jada.”
The young girl’s dark eyes moved slowly from the window and rested on Meg’s face. “Hi,” she said glumly.
“Remember me? I’m Meg Murphy! I was here with you in the delivery room when your son was born.”
There was a small glint of life in her dark eyes as Jada nodded silently.
“I was passing by the hospital and thought...well, I thought I’d stop by and say hi.” She looked uncomfortably at the small vase of flowers and the two wrapped gifts which she held in her arms. “And these are something little for you and the baby.”
“Thanks.”
There was no joy in Jada’s voice. No glow in the young woman’s face. There wasn’t even sadness. Just...nothing!
Meg suddenly wanted her hands free, so she turned around to find a place to put her packages down. It was then that she spotted a huge basket of wildflowers, an arrangement of crimson and white roses, and a number of colorful balloons tied to a portable table against the wall by the foot of her bed.
“These are beautiful,” she said excitedly, smelling the roses. “From a devoted admirer?”
“Evan sent them,” Jada said simply and turned her eyes away again.
Meg placed her packages on the same table and, dropping her tote bag on a nearby chair, turned and moved closer to the bed. “So how is the baby?”
“He sleeps all the time.”
“Do you get to see him often?”
One of Jada’s hands moved slightly in a half-hearted gesture toward something on the other side of the bed. Meg looked over and, with great delight, spotted the baby. He was sleeping in a small crib that looked like a glass-sided cart of some sort.
Meg reflected on the picture of maternal love she had been greeted with upon seeing the woman and her infant on the other side of dividing curtain. Her heart twisted in her chest at the absence of affection on this side.
“Well, he is a very handsome boy!” she whispered softly, leaning over the baby to get a better look. “Have you picked a name?”
Jada shook her head and looked away at the flowers.
“May I hold him?” Meg asked hesitantly.
The young girl shrugged impassively, but then pointed to a hospital gown lying across a chair. “You’ll have to wash your hands and put that thing on first.”
“Okay.” Meg nodded excitedly and hurried into the small bathroom that the two women shared. As she scrubbed her hands, she looked into the mirror and tried to put on some pretense of being a happy visitor. Jada was a child herself. She surely needed as much a shoulder to cry as her infant son.
Her mind suddenly became a stormy sea of emotions, and there was no voice of Robert to calm her. Meg turned off the faucet and reached for a towel to dry her hands. There were two fragile creatures on the other side of this door. Two very young people who needed some affection.
She opened the door and walked into the room. Picking up the simple, flowered gown off the chair, she pulled it over her shirt and slacks.
“Is there anything I can get for you before picking up the baby?”
Jada shook her head. Looking into her empty, black eyes, Meg knew that somehow she had to draw the teenager out. Whatever pain this girl’s young body had gone through yesterday to deliver this child, it was nothing in comparison with the struggles which faced her now.
“I wish I knew what to do!” Meg said simply, moving to stand between the crib and window, but still facing her. “Is there a trick to this?”
“Trick to it? No, just pick him up like a baby!”
“Under the arms? Just lift him up like this?” Meg wildly exaggerated the movement in the air, and to her delight saw a look of genuine concern cross Jada’s face.
“Not under the arms! He is an infant. He has no neck muscles. You have to support his head at all times!”
Meg knew she was making a fool of herself, but it was worth it. “So I put one hand behind the neck and one under his back and just lift him.”
“Of course not! He’s fragile!” Jada sat up with alarm written all over her face. “Christmas, haven’t you ever held a baby?”
“No!” Meg lied. “But I always wanted to, and it’s really nice of you to let me do it. A friend of mine at work had a baby a couple of years ago, but she was too scared to let me hold the infant. She said I’m a k
lutz, but I think I can handle it.”
“You didn’t seem that way yesterday in the delivery room!” Jada said. “You were right there next to me. Even with all that stuff around us...”
“But you had to see me when I came out. The first thing I did was spill Evan’s coffee all over the front of his shirt. You should have seen his face! You couldn’t tell if he wanted to laugh at hearing the good news or wring my neck for giving him a third degree burn. But back to the baby--how do I lift him?”
“Wait!” Jada said firmly. “Why don’t you go and sit in that chair against the wall, and I’ll bring him to you.”
“You can’t walk!”
“The nurse has been telling me all morning that I should.” Jada sat up and started swinging her legs over the edge. “I think it’s time.”
“Can’t I help you? Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah! In that drawer, there should be a bathrobe of some sort. Could you get it for me?”
“Sure!” Turning around, Meg intentionally knocked over a cup of water that was sitting with the flowers on the end of the portable table. Quickly running to the bathroom for a towel, she pretended to stumble, catching herself on the door jamb just short of going flat on her face.
“I’m all right,” she chirped before going into the bathroom. The Three Stooges have nothing on me, she thought.
By the time her mess was cleaned up and she was back beside Jada’s bed with the cotton bathrobe in hand, the young girl’s face had taken on a much healthier complexion.
“I still think,” Meg argued, “that you should stay in bed and let me handle the baby.”
“No!”
Meg controlled the urge to give Jada a big hug for rejecting her offer so absolutely.
“Now,” she ordered. “You go and sit in that chair and wait.”
“Sit! Wait!” Meg nodded. “Got it!”
It was all so different, now. Whatever had been going on in Jada’s brain when Meg arrived, had disappeared without a trace. The way the young mother reached over the crib and picked up her son, the tender way she nestled him against her chest, showed Meg the extent of the feelings she had for the baby. With her thick, black hair framing her pale face, she looked even younger than her fifteen years. And she took her time in bringing the newborn across the room.
Before Jada could reach the chair, Meg quickly got up and dragged another chair closer, putting it beside the other.
“He seems pretty comfortable,” she said. “Why don’t you sit and hold him awhile...until he can get used to me?”
Jada gave a small smile before nodding and sitting in the chair, all the while holding the sleeping infant securely in her arms. Meg silently watched the two for a moment before noticing the look of sadness that had crept into the young mother’s quiet expression.
“Do you feed him yourself or is he on a bottle?”
Jada’s fair skin turned a deep crimson as she looked down at her child.
“I...I really don’t know what to do! They sent a nurse to me last night to show me everything, but it was a disaster. He kept going to sleep...he wouldn’t accept me. They told me this morning that in the middle of night they gave him a supplement of formula.”
Wouldn’t accept me! She was getting rejected from all sides!
“You know,” Meg said, glancing out the door into the hallway. “I saw some TV’s on rolling carts when I came in. Do they have these things on a CD? The lessons, I mean!”
“They said they do,” Jada said quietly.
“Boy, am I in the mood for a movie!” Meg jumped to her feet. “If I could only get us some popcorn, then we’d be all set.”
“I think popcorn is supposed to give him gas,” Jada called after her as Meg charged out into the hall.
A few moments later, as Meg was tucking a pillow beneath the baby on Jada’s lap, a young nurse rolled in their entertainment of the hour.
The next hour was not exactly sheer bliss, though Meg did her best to lighten the mood. They watched the tape twice--once for its educational benefit, and a second time just for good measure. Then Jada tried again to breastfeed the sleeping baby, but he would have no part in it. After a couple of tries, Meg went after one of the nurses and came back with experienced help. That got the mother and child started in the right track, but Jada was still nervous about doing it right, and that continued to cast a shadow over the whole effort.
“It’ll come,” the nurse told her. “Try not to worry so much.”
The woman went out, but while Jada was still in the chair, Meg decided to pamper her a bit. Picking up Jada’s brush, she began running it through the young woman’s long, silken blanket of hair. The simple act worked like magic. Jada relaxed. The baby woke up and started suckling on the offered breast, and Meg felt like a million bucks.
To be wanted! Meg had overlooked this simple human need. She’d just forgotten how wonderful the sensation really was.
******
Mrs. Jeffers, having found someone to watch the kids she normally sat for in the afternoons, was standing in the parking lot and waiting as Evan pulled in. All the way to the hospital, the older woman was as jittery as a first time grandmother, and never once stopped talking. After hearing all the weird, tragic, and unbelievable stories about childbirth that Mrs. Jeffers had to share, Evan was amazed that any woman could be coaxed, cajoled, or compelled into having a baby!
Evan liked the old woman, though. The way he understood it, from the ten years since Jada’s mother died, the good-hearted neighbor had been the primary caregiver whenever Ted had to be away fishing.
A few minutes later Evan, feeling a bit like a pack horse, trailed Mrs. Jeffers down the hallway of the maternity ward. In one arm, he juggled a large grocery bag filled with the older woman’s bran muffins and whatever else she’d thought to bring, and in the other the largest teddy bear he’d been able to find in the local toy store. The sales girl had sworn to him that this teddy was the ‘hottest thing’ for new infants. Of course, the damn thing had to be about four feet tall, and Evan couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he’d been conned somewhere along the line.
Arriving at Jada’s door, he followed Mrs. Jeffers into the room and ignored the repressed giggle of the woman occupying the first bed. Reaching the curtain, he paused to allow Jada and the old woman a moment to ooh and ahh over the baby before stepping in.
“Hi, Jada. I’ve brou...” Tripping over a pair of feet, size 15 at least, Evan twisted and tumbled in an awkward attempt to save the precious bag of food. Unable to retain his balance, he landed against the bed, moving the whole thing a good foot toward the window.
“What are you trying to do, break my neck?”
He looked up and found a pair of large brown eyes twinkling with laughter.
“I’m so sorry!” she said, though her amused expression just didn’t appear riddled with remorse--not that Evan could see, anyway. “I was just trying to get out of the way of Gentle Ben. I didn’t realize you were behind him.”
He continued to frown into her pretty face and thrust the giant teddy bear in her direction so he could right himself. She took it from him, smiling openly now, and turned to the chair against the wall where Jada sat with the baby in her arms.
“Grrr!”
“Oh no,” Jada cried out, feigning terror. “Not Smokey the Bear.”
“No, it’s his cousin, Papa Bear, and he’s rabid for porridge. Got any?” Meg pretended to attack the mother and child, and Evan stared in amazement at hearing Jada’s happy laugh. This was quite a transformation from yesterday.
“Mrs. Jeffers,” Jada said, turning to the older woman. “This is my friend, Meg Murphy. She’s from Boston and is going to be here in Newport for a week or so.”
Evan placed the bag on the portable table beside the flowers and stepped back as the women exchanged pleasantries. Continuing to study Jada’s bright face, he tried to imagine what could have brought about such a change. Was this what motherhood did to a woman? make her forg
et the pain? the loneliness? the rejection of her peers? His gaze descended to the tiny face of the sleeping infant in her lap. How peacefully he slept, totally clueless to the turmoil that surrounded his entry into this world!
“May I hold him?” He couldn’t hold back any longer and took a step in the direction of the baby.
“Have you held a baby before?” Jada asked firmly, suspicion suddenly darkening her face.
“Of course!”
“Are you accident prone? Have you stumbled, fallen, or dropped anything in the past three days?”
“No!” He glanced questioningly in Meg’s direction and found her shaking her head at Jada doubtfully. He would strangle her later.
“Now, tell the truth, Evan.” Jada chided. “The three of us witnessed you almost fall only a minute ago.”
“What is this...the inquisition? Listen, that was her fault. She tripped me, same as she tripped me this morning in the park.”
“And yesterday, I suppose, she spilled your coffee on you!”
“How do you know that?”
“Never mind!” Jada said maternally. “You can just sit in the chair next to me and hold the baby. Now don’t forget, his neck muscles are not...”
“I know how to hold him.” He marched to the chair and sat. “I was holding babies before you were even a twinkle in your father’s eyes. Mrs. Jeffers, you can be next in line. Okay, hand him over.”
As Jada placed the little bundle in his arms, something thrilled within him, as it always did. He loved babies. He enjoyed holding them, rocking them, and even cleaning them off when they spit up. Not having children of his own was perhaps the only regret that he had about his life. But then, he’d never met a woman that he cared for enough to share the rest of his life with.
As much as he missed having children, he was a true believer in two people being in it together. He hadn’t had two parents. His father, he had never known. His grandmother had been the one to raise him when his mother had died in a car crash. But he’d been lucky to turn out as he had. The product of two people who were not ready to commit to anything beyond their own immediate pleasures, he’d been left in this world to fend for himself. This was a risk he wouldn’t be taking with his child.
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