“Okay, where is it?” she asked breathlessly.
“Where’s what?” He pulled down the neckline of her dress until her breasts were free.
“You know. The economy package?”
“And do you think I would go to a ball with something like that in my pockets?”
He leaned down and took her nipple into his mouth. She ceased breathing, moaned, then rubbed her moist folds against his long, hard shaft.
“I want you,” she whispered. “I want to feel you inside of me.”
She didn’t have to ask again. He was just about ready to explode. Reaching down, he took a silver case out of his trouser pocket and handed it to her.
She looked at it curiously, and then opened it as a soft giggle slipped out of her.
He looked down, too, at the two condoms tucked snugly inside the silver clasp. “What’s so funny?”
“A cigarette case?”
“Well, I don’t smoke.”
“And two of them!”
“You don’t think it’ll be enough?”
Her open smile warmed his heart. She leaned her head against his and looked into his eyes.
“What am I going to do with you, Evan Knight?”
He reached between their bodies and began to stroke the sensitive spot. Her dark eyes quickly clouded over with passion.
“To start with, why don’t you open one of those packages and wrap me. Then we’ll both have the ride of our lives!”
He didn’t have to say anything more, and that was exactly what she did. And after she’d lowered herself onto him and ridden him so hard that they both gasped for breath, the two rose together in one harmonious explosion of ecstasy.
Then, as the limousine rolled on past a moonlit sea, he whispered in her ear the words that came straight from his heart.
“I love you.”
******
Jada stumbled along the Cliff Walk and cast a blurred eye up at the stone cold moon.
She stopped, wiping her eyes. She didn’t think there could be a tear left in her body. As she looked down through the wild vegetation clinging to the bluffs and the rock, she knew she could find her way to the Forty Steps blindfolded.
She worked her way down past the warning sign intended to keep tourists off the decrepit stairway. The Forty Steps lay before her, steep and broken, the ancient pipe railing rusted with long sections missing entirely.
So many times she and Matthew had sneaked down after dark to sit in their special place halfway down. From there, they could see the rock platform at the bottom and at times, depending on the tide, the stony beach beneath. Like a picture out of the album of memories past, she could see the two of them, Matthew’s arm around her shoulder. Huddled together against the sharp sea air and a winter wind that bit at their hands and faces. There was no other world besides them then.
What a lie! What a stupid lie! What a fool she’d been to think that they were living in the same world! That they would turn over the next page of lives together, side by side.
Matthew had money, a family name. He was young. He had the smarts to excel--to make it. He alone!
So he had just moved on. She should have known all along that he would leave her behind. Never looking back. Just tearing out the page in his life where she had written her name...and moving on.
Jada sobbed and sat on the steps, her arms wrapping around her middle.
And what about her?
It was her own fault. Her own foolishness. Her own naiveté to think that two hundred years of class difference in a town like this would not suck the very lifeblood out of their friendship. Out of their love.
So she was left here. And, of course, she had to be punished for her stupidity.
But her banishment from school and the shame that she had brought on her father, meant nothing in comparison with the pain she’d endured tonight, hearing that they were taking her baby.
A laugh rose in her throat, sad and almost bitter. Sometime during this last week, she had started hoping again. Somewhere, holding Ted in her arms, she’d begun to dream of a future again.
Why couldn’t she start to live again? Why couldn’t everything work out? She’d work hard. She’d learn to be a good mother. She could learn to take care of her baby.
But then she’d heard the truth. They were taking away her baby. She was an unfit mother.
It figured. Unfit as a mother. Unfit as a student. Unfit as a daughter. Unfit as a friend and lover to someone like Matthew Rand. Unfit as stinking human being!
Whatever her faults, however great her sins, there was only one thing that she had prayed for again and again. And that had been for the welfare of her son. But then the bitter realization struck her that maybe those prayers had been answered. Little Ted would be cared for...but she was not going to be in the picture.
Of course. He was too young to carry the burden of her mistakes. He was too innocent to face the shame of her sin.
She looked up into the endless emptiness of space. At the zillion stars connected by nothing. At the hard, white, lunar disk.
She gazed back down at the ocean beneath her. She could step off, throw herself down these steps, and end it all right here. One step and she’d find release in death. Why continue to mess things up for her child? He’d be so much better off without her. He would never even know.
Jada stared at the waves breaking in over the rocks and took a deep breath.
“He would never even know.”
She didn’t feel the breeze pick up, curling around her and embracing her with its life force. She didn’t see the sea rising, the waves reaching out to touch and bathe her with a love that was maternal, universal, unending.
Like an automaton, Jada rose mechanically to her feet. She had to do it. If she were to take her life tonight, if she were to step off here and crush her skull, then Ted would have a future. A clean, open path.
Sit down, Jada.
Startled, she whirled around with such force that she nearly lost her footing and plunged down the steps into the dark waters churning below. Clinging to the railing, she searched wildly about her in the darkness.
“Who...? Where are you?”
The breeze pushed her hair into her face, and she swept it back. There was no answer to her questions but the sounds of the surging tide. There was no sign of any living creature anywhere near her.
“I’ve totally lost my mind.” She straightened herself and started to climb the steps.
Don’t go, Jada.
She stopped abruptly and fixed her gaze on the empty stairs before her. The voice had come not from a distance, but from someplace quite close. Too close. She hesitantly felt the air around her--looking for something that she knew had to be lurking right beside her. Nothing.
I’m here.
Her heart was thudding uncontrollably in her chest. “Where? I can’t see you.”
You’re not supposed to. I don’t exist...
“But I hear you.” She placed both hands over her ears, trying to block the sound of the man’s voice.
I’m still here, Jada. You can’t shut me out.
She shook her head. “Look! You can’t stop me. I know what I have to do. It’s the only way.”
She started climbing the steps.
You’re wrong, Jada. It’s not the only way. You are only doing this because you think you’ve been deserted. Because you’re alone.
“But I am alone. Alone to screw up everything for me and my baby!”
No, Jada! I know you’re down now, but you have to trust me. Things have a way of working out.
She shook her head and started running up the steps. “I don’t need this. I don’t need empty talk. I don’t need some stupid Casper the Ghost telling me...”
Something tripped her, but when she reached out for the step, Jada felt nothing but air. And then she was falling.
It was the strangest of sensations. A weightlessness...like a flying dream. No smashing of her skull. No broken limbs from the fall. No wat
ery grave at the bottom. Just floating. She felt herself floating, a puff on goosedown on the sea breeze, never touching a stair until she reached the bottom.
She landed on the bottom step. Reality seized her, and she stood frozen there, the tide coming in just beneath her feet.
Sit down, Jada.
Feeling her head about to burst from the fear that was gripping her, Jada obediently, solemnly, sat down.
Much better! Now we can talk.
The voice was beside her on the step and she stared uncomfortably into the empty space.
First things first. My name is not Casper!
She nodded obediently.
Call me Robert.
CHAPTER 23
He loved her. He said so himself. He really loved her.
Lazing dreamily in the big bed as the morning light played on the books along the far wall, Meg smiled happily. Evan stirred in his sleep and gathered her tightly to his naked body. One leg stretched across her thighs, an arm draped over her breasts.
She turned her head and looked at his handsome, sleeping face. With his hair mussed and the night’s growth of whiskers shadowing his lean, chiseled features, he looked like the picture perfect rogue. A very sexy and delicious rogue, she corrected, recalling with an impish smile every detail of the night they’d had together.
Meg grimaced. She just hoped that she’d never run into that limo driver again. As much as she’d tried to straighten herself out before being dropped at the house, she knew the man couldn’t have had any illusions what they’d been doing in the back seat.
It had been quite a night. Meg couldn’t stop a smile from breaking across her lips. Leading her up the stairs, Evan had been the perfect gentleman, but then the rogue had quickly emerged.
After a kind of surreal hunt in which she’d raced around his apartment in search of condoms, all hidden in the strangest of places, Meg had found herself pinned to the sofa. Stripping her clothes off, Evan had proceeded to drag her naked to the rooftop balcony.
Making love to him under a blanket of stars, the breeze cool on their skin, was like a dream. Of course, going in to take a shower and finding another package in the soap dish--and Evan climbing in behind her--had also turned out to be a fantasy come true. And then, when she’d been just about ready to collapse from exhaustion, she’d found herself being tenderly patted dry and carried to bed where another package--tied up with a pretty green bow--had been waiting for her on top of the pillow.
Well, she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Meg sighed, relishing the feel of her cheek against his arm. Before meeting Evan--even through her ten years of marriage--she’d never considered herself to be overly consumed by sex. But now her boldness surprised her. She just loved the way Evan’s touch stirred something deep and primal within her. Never had she experienced such flights of incredible passion.
She turned and placed a soft kiss on his chin. And there was something they had between them that was much more than sex. Evan Knight knew how to make her feel smart. He knew how to make her feel desired--needed even. He made her feel complete.
And last night, in the car, he had told her that he loved her.
It could have been the champagne talking, she supposed, the edges of doubt immediately scratching at her happiness. It could also have been that, consumed by their newfound passion, Evan had felt that she needed to hear something more.
But if that’s what it was, Meg thought with a frown creasing her brow, she wouldn’t hold him to it. For what it was worth, his words had made her feel incredibly wonderful.
“That’s some heavy thinking you’re doing there.”
She looked up and found his eyes open and studying her. Next to the navy blue sheets of the bed, his eyes were as blue as a dawn sky.
“Actually, I was trying to devise a plan of escape.” She glanced down at the well muscled arm and leg trapping her beneath their weight.
“Well, you can forget it.” Evan rolled nimbly on top of her, and she smiled at the feel of his arousal against her legs. “The jailer is now awake and ready to hand out more punishment.”
She arched her back and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh good. You know, this is one position you haven’t used in punishing me yet.”
“You’re right. But on second thought, this way would be much too quick!” He threw the sheets off the two of them. “How about taking another shower with me?”
Meg smiled shyly. “So long as washing each other’s back is not the only thing you have in mind.”
It wasn’t. And afterwards, as she was drying herself in the spacious bathroom and he was still finishing in the shower, they planed out their day.
They both agreed that the first thing on the agenda was to call Jada and go up to the hospital to spend some time with her and the baby. After that, Evan said he wanted to take Meg horseback riding on Second Beach. From there, they could go on a hike and picnic along the trails of the Bird Sanctuary.
“But there’s something else that needs to be done before we even start the day.” She pulled a large tee shirt of Evan’s over her head and looked down at the logo. “Oh, no! You expect me to wear a Yankee’s shirt?”
“What were you saying needs to be done?” She could see him grinning through the frosted glass of the shower door.
“I think you should put in a couple of hours of writing.”
As he turned off the water and opened the door to complain, she threw him his towel.
“I know I don’t know much about the other you and your real jobs, but one thing I’m certain of is that you have a great talent for writing. So please don’t shake that image for me.”
With the towel held to his chest, he stared at her earnestly. A knot formed in her gut as he paused a moment. There was no remnant of jocularity in his face.
“Meg, I think it’s time you learned everything there is to know about me.”
She nervously folded her towel and hung it on the rack. “Seriously, Evan. I don’t want you to feel that you owe me anything. What we have is so...”
“It’s time, Meg.”
She was suddenly afraid of what he had to say. “Why don’t I go and make us some coffee.” She took a step back out of the bathroom through the living room door.
“Just give me a second to shave. I’ll be right there.”
Meg nodded and started toward the kitchen. But on her way, she picked up her discarded dress and laid it on a chair. The pants and jacket to his tux had been tossed aside, as well, so she picked them up and carried them back into his bedroom. The neat line of tailor made sports jackets and pants in the closet again caused a knot to tighten in her stomach. Everything about Evan spoke of money, she thought soberly. A lot of money.
And what the heck was an unemployed, middle aged woman like her going to do with a guy like that.
Quickly hanging the tux in the closet, she closed the door and headed for the kitchen. Looking around at his things, she tried to muster her courage. After all, she knew him pretty well. It was just foolishness to be so pessimistic. There was no reason whatsoever to think that what Evan had to say would be in the least bit damaging to what they had.
She was being too hot-headed. Too stubborn. Too proud. It was just the matter of his money, she decided. She picked up the necklace that was sitting on the kitchen divider and let it drape over her hand. In the daylight the diamonds seemed even larger than they appeared last night. They were real; she knew that now. The trouble he must have gone through to get it. Never mind that the little trinket was probably a year’s salary for most people!
She carefully placed the necklace back on the countertop beside a hardcover book that she hadn’t seen there yesterday.
It took just a minute to get the coffee started, and after laying out the mugs, she reached over and picked the book up off the divider.
The phone rang and, without thinking, she answered it on the first ring. Well, Meg thought, realizing that she’d done it again, some habits neve
r die!
She smiled weakly and waved as Evan stuck his head out of the bathroom, but brightened as soon as she heard Jada’s voice on the other end. “Oh! Hi, Jada.”
“I called your room, and when I didn’t get any answer...I thought...I hoped maybe you’d be with Evan.”
Meg looked down at her watch. It was eight thirty already. She blushed at the thought that Jada could figure out so easily where she’d spent the night.
“Have...have you gotten any results on the baby’s tests.”
“Yeah! I’m at the hospital now. I got a chance to talk to the doctor right before he started his rounds.”
Evan came across the living room. Meg covered the mouthpiece and whispered that Jada had gotten some results. But as he made his way into the kitchen, she didn’t miss the way his eyes dropped to the book in her other hand.
“Ted needs to have surgery.”
Meg closed her eyes and tried to fight back the sudden tightness in her throat.
“The doctor called it closed heart surgery.”
“I...I’m so sorry, honey.”
Meg watched as Evan crossed the room and picked up the phone in the living room.
“Hi, Jada! It’s Evan.”
“Hey, pretty good deal. I have both of you on at the same time.”
Their eyes met and there was a silent communication that passed between them.
“So what’s this news?”
Jada repeated what she’d told Meg and continued on. To Meg’s amazement, the young mother’s voice seemed to get stronger as they talked.
“But everything is under control. When I talked to Ted’s doctor, he said that, from what they can tell, the tests indicate that my baby has a congenital heart condition they call a coarctation of the aorta. Still, to be a hundred percent certain, he wants Ted to go up to the Children’s Hospital in Boston. If their findings turn out to be the same as what they figured down here, then they can do the surgery right there.”
“What’s the prognosis for recovery after the surgery?”
Meg felt a jolt of pride, looking at Evan. He was treating Jada just the way she needed to be treated. As an intelligent adult. As a capable and caring mother.
Made in Heaven Page 23
