by Cat Miller
“Let’s not talk about that, Rourke. You gave my wife and me a shock, but it's done now.” The pastor waved a dismissive hand. “We were young once, too. Believe me; we had our own spells of insanity in our day.”
“Okay, then let’s talk about Jennifer.” He lowered his voice in case she was nearby. “What’s her deal? I can tell you know more about her than you’ve said so far. She’s skittish and evasive. I need to know as much about her as I can if I’m going to do this right. And understand, Pastor Davis, that I intend to do it right.”
Rourke felt it important to make the pastor understand that he wasn’t just playing with Jennifer. He needed to get closer to her so they could see where this crazy attraction would lead them.
“I’m sorry, son. I can’t divulge what I know about Jennifer. No more than I could tell you about any of my other parishioners.” The pastor looked unhappy. “I wish I could tell you more, son. Really do.”
“I understand. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. It was unfair of me to ask it of you. I’ll just speak to Jennifer, myself. I’ll just have to find a way to make her trust me. Where is she?” Rourke looked toward the kitchen wondering if the woman had gone to make coffee or something.
“Gone,” the pastor shrugged. It was an unnatural looking gesture on the mature man.
“What? Gone where?” Rourke didn’t mean to shout, but he had.
“She left. I can’t say more.”
“You know where she went then? All right. She had to go back to the church for her car.” Rourke was pulling on his jacket. She couldn’t have gotten too far. It was only a few blocks to the church, though. He’d need to hurry if was going to catch Jennifer before she got away.
“Jennifer didn’t go to her car, Rourke. She doesn’t have one. She’s gone.”
Rourke gave the pastor a glare. The man was only doing his job and keeping Jennifer’s confidence. It was admirable, but it was pissing Rourke off. He grabbed his duffle and tossed it over his shoulder. If she’d called a cab, she would probably be waiting for it to come. He might still catch her outside. Rourke just couldn’t imagine Jennifer in her lovely silk dress and heels on the bus.
“Just tell me one thing. Is she in some kind of trouble? I want to believe she’s just shy, but my instincts are saying otherwise. She too uneasy and evasive for it to be simple shyness. I’ve learned to trust my instincts to keep me alive.” A sick feeling washed over Rourke when the pastor only blinked. Rourke could see the pastor wanted to answer but couldn’t. He’d been sworn to secrecy. The answer to his next question could be a total game changer. He hated to ask, but he had to know. “Is she married? Is that why she ran?”
“No, she is not married,” Pastor Davis answered without pause. “If she were, I would have discreetly told you after I introduced her to you. I know neither you nor Luc would dally with a married woman.” He seemed insulted that Rourke had even asked.
“So she is in trouble.” The pastor’s non-answer was answer enough. “And you won’t tell me more?” Rourke didn’t mean to bark again, but worry and aggravation bubbled up in his throat.
The pastor held up his hands as if to calm Rourke down, but there would be no calming him until he found Jennifer. The damn woman didn’t even know she was his yet. She was possibly in danger. And she was fucking gone!
Rourke didn’t let Pastor Davis delay him any longer. He was out the door and scanning the street for any sign of Jennifer or a cab. There was nothing. He jogged toward the church. Jennifer hadn’t been carrying a purse or anything. That was odd for a woman. She must have left it behind at the church. But when he reached the church, all of the doors were locked, and the building was dark. She wasn’t there. She was gone, and Rourke was pissed off.
That sad look in her eyes after their mad bout of sex in the pantry hadn’t been because she feared he would walk away. No, it had been because she was going to be the one walking away. Well, Rourke wouldn’t stand for it. He was going to find her and convince her that he could be the right man for her. Yes, he was in Navy, and that was hard on a relationship; but damn it, she hadn’t even given him a fucking chance!
Rourke tossed his bag down the steps of the church in frustration and shouted, “Fuck!”
* * *
Jennifer stood in the shadows of the church vestibule and watched Rourke through one of the huge windows. He cursed at the sky, and the sound of his annoyance surprised her. She’d run all the way from the Davis’ to the church with her heart pounding and a lump in her throat. All the while, telling herself this was for the best and trying to convince herself that it was better to cut Rourke loose before he broke her heart.
She’d just made it inside the church and locked the door when she saw Rourke hustle around the corner of the office building across the street from the church at top speed carrying the massive duffle bag on his back. He scanned the street, the parking lot, and the building as he approached. Jennifer had backed up into the shadows in case he peeked in the windows.
Jennifer wasn’t sure if she should be happy or depressed that Rourke was interested enough that he follow her when she slipped away before he had a chance to stop her and ask questions she couldn’t answer. She couldn’t allow him to find her, either way. Jennifer wouldn’t risk his life. The time she’d spent in his arms had been the closest to magic she would ever know, maybe especially because of that magic she couldn’t allow him into her life.
Rourke had followed her, though, and that was something. He’d cared, if even just a little. He really liked her, Jennifer was sure of that. They had crazy chemistry. At this point in her life when Jennifer honestly believed no one short of the kindhearted pastor and his wife cared for her, it was an incredible feeling.
Rourke was probably only looking for a hook-up while he was in town. Jennifer would never know for sure. What Jennifer did know was that Rourke had given her a gift the likes he’d never know. Rourke had given her a few precious of moments of peaceful oblivion in his arms. He’d also given her more pleasure than she’d ever known. Her body still vibrated from the experience.
Jennifer watched Rourke stomp down the steps of the church, grab his duffle, and stalk the street to hail a cab. His jerked open the cab door and tossed in his bag before climbing inside. He looked frustrated and angry. She watched the cab pull away, and her heart broke a little. He was gone, and she’d never see him again. Not even if she wanted to.
She didn’t believe in love at first sight, but Jennifer couldn’t deny that after spending only one afternoon in Rourke’s company, she was dangerously close to falling for the man. It would be so easy. No, it was better this way. Rourke would go back to his life in the Navy. Jennifer would lay low and continue to look for a way out of the mess her life had become.
She made her way to the back of the sanctuary and down the hall to the stairs and descended to the kitchen. Jennifer crossed the space between the swinging door and the stove that made food for so many needy people. The day replayed in her mind, and tears filled her eyes. She would never enter that kitchen again and not remember Rourke. He was a big, tough man on the outside. That exterior of steel was his Superman shield. He was a military man, and she supposed as a Navy SEAL, he’d seen many things that would necessitate the building of such a tough façade.
But when he was alone with Luc and Dolce, she’d seen him loosen. Later when he was relaxed at the Davis’ home, he’d softened even more. Finally, when it was just the two of them, Rourke had become as open and warm as anyone she’d ever known. He was like an entirely different person. Jennifer was honored to have been one of the few people to see him so unguarded when she was sure Rourke was always on guard.
Rourke had held her like something precious at first. He’d treated her like glass that might break in his huge callous roughened hands. He made Jennifer feel sexy and desirable when his eyes glazed over, and grunts were the only verbalizations he was capable of voicing.
Once Rourke got past the surprise of having a woman beg f
or sex –her cheeks blazed with heat at that memory- those gentle hands had turned demanding. Holy hell, he’d damn near screwed her to the wall. It was a good thing Jennifer had been so turned on. The slickness of her pussy and some deep breathing were necessary for her to accommodate Rourke’s proportions. Maybe the myth about the size of a man’s hands and feet wasn’t a myth after all.
More than the sheer pleasure Rourke had given her, Jennifer would never forget holding his strong face in her hands and looking into his intense eyes as they both climaxed. The wonder she was feeling had been mirrored there in Rourke’s eyes. It was nearly perfect. Only almost perfect, because Jennifer already knew she’d have to escape before he could see how much he could hurt her. She had to hide so the fear of him being hurt more than just emotionally because of her became a reality.
Pastor Davis understood her concern. He loved Rourke like a son, so he’d agreed to keep her secret, but he hadn’t liked it at all. The pastor believed Rourke could help her far more than he could by giving her a place to hide, but Jennifer refused to give her evil ex the chance to touch a hair on Rourke’s perfect blond head, should Evan catch up with her before she found a means of escape from Vegas. That was a real possibility. She wasn’t worth Rourke’s life. It was better that she remain a pleasant memory for him. She was just a girl he met when he was home on leave, nothing more.
Jennifer pushed open the storeroom door and entered on aching feet. She had to move a few of the boxes Rourke had carried down the stairs to get to her destination. The rusty hinges creaked when Jennifer opened the door to her secret home. Rourke had come close to her hideaway. The fact that he’d stuck around so long after the others left was the only reason she hadn’t retreated to her cozy little hole in the wall sooner. She didn’t want anyone to know she was actually living in the church basement. If you could call hiding and biding your time living.
Her small room had a light, a single bed, and a shelf. Her few items of clothing hung from a bar affixed to the bottom of the shelf. Mrs. Davis had been bringing her novels to read since there wasn’t even a television. The books lined the shelf. Jennifer had read a few of them twice already. That was all she had, but Jennifer was so very grateful for a safe place to lay her head that she couldn’t wish for anymore. It was warm and clean, and she was safe for now, thanks to the Davis.
Once she’d stripped out of her dress and hung it up, Jennifer collapsed onto her borrowed bed. The sheets smelled pleasantly of lavender fabric softener. She reached up and shut off the lamp. In the darkness, she was left alone with her thoughts.
The pleasant ache between her legs and down her thighs was a reminder of Rourke. It had been a long time since she’d been with a man. She rolled over and pulled the blanket over her head. She wouldn’t think about him anymore. She couldn’t if she wanted to remain sane. She didn’t want to remember, but she couldn’t block out the image of his devilish grin as he told her stories about his teammates.
Jennifer let the tears come. She cried for all she’d lost. She cried because she missed her parents, her brothers, and the rest of her family. She cried because her hopes for the career she’d walked away from that family for were in tatters. She cried because Even MacGraff was still out there looking for her. But mostly she cried for what might have been if only she’d met Rourke just a little sooner.
Jennifer told herself again to forget Rourke. She’d gotten what she expected, and she’d known the whole time nothing more would come of it. If he hadn’t chased after her, it would be so easy for Jennifer to believe she’d only been a fuck in a closet for the big, sexy SEAL. But he had followed her, and she’d seen the loss in his eyes. She’d heard his frustrated shout of defeat. So Jennifer cried because she was sure she’d lost the one man who could have made her sad life worth living. She was forced to walk away from the man who could have been the love of her life. And that was worth shedding more than a few tears over.
FOUR
Jennifer tossed and turned in bed. She was reliving her nightmare again. It was the same every night, and no matter how hard Jennifer tried, she couldn’t wake from the reoccurring dream that wasn’t a dream at all, but a vivid memory that haunted her every night. It always started the same way.
They were walking back to Evan’s car after being ejected from the club full of naked people, and she was so confused. Jennifer was frantically trying to find a way to let Evan down politely but firmly. After the way he’d been trying to change her for their so-called date he’d taken her on that night, Jennifer was done. She didn’t even want to get in his car again, but she needed a ride home. Her instincts were screaming at her to run because something was very wrong here, but Jennifer ignored the warning.
Jennifer would ask Evan to take her home and end it before she got out of the car. She just wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. He was handsome, and he had money, but those things meant nothing to Jennifer. Of course, she had to be attracted to a man to give dating a try, so being handsome helped, but there just wasn’t any chemistry there for Jennifer. She’d rather have an average looking man she could be herself with than a gorgeous man who made her feel as if she should be grateful for his attention.
She always felt like Evan was evasive. It was impossible to get a straight answer from Evan about anything. She couldn’t tell you where he came from or where he lived now, other than that he had a condo in downtown Vegas and house in the suburbs. He didn’t like to talk about his work either. But he wanted to know every little detail about Jennifer.
That evening’s events were the clincher for Jennifer. First, he didn’t like her clothes. He took her to an illegal gambling club turned brothel on a date. Then, he started a fight and pulled a gun. Afterward, he had the nerve to blame her when they got kicked out. There was no way this could go on. Evan MacGraff was not the gentleman he pretended to be. Jennifer wasn’t interested in finding out who he really was behind those fake smiles.
“I’d like to go home now, Evan,” Jennifer said during a break in a tirade about Luc Christianson, the owner of Hell, the club they’d been tossed out of just moments before. Evan was actually talking about having the club owner murdered for monopolizing the market in Vegas. What market? Was Luc an investment banker too? Jennifer didn’t think Evan was joking either. Would he really kill someone?
Evan gave her a cold glare. Something was missing in his deep-brown eyes now, and it scared the shit out of Jennifer. It was like looking into the eyes of a hungry shark. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. Then he relaxed. He turned the car in the wrong direction. They were driving away from her place.
“I said I want to go home. Now,” Jennifer repeated. She wouldn’t break it off with Evan while he was behaving so irrationally. It could wait until morning. She’d give him a call and calmly explain that things weren’t going to work out between them.
“I have good news for you, sweetheart.” Evan’s demeanor had reversed. He seemed to realize that he’d let his mask drop, and he was trying to recover. “You don’t have to go back to that dump you live in ever again. I’m taking you to your new home. I’m taking you to my home.”
“Excuse me?” Her apartment wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t a dump. It was clean, and she lived in a decent complex. She worked hard for everything she had, and she didn’t appreciate him downing her. First, it was her clothes, now her apartment. He wanted to take her to his home? Was he fucking joking?
“There’s no need to thank me, Jenny. You’re going to make me a very happy man. It’s my job to take care of you, and I intend to do it well.” He returned his attention to the road.
“What are you talking about? I want to go home. Pull over. I’ll just get out here.” What the fuck was wrong with this man? He had to be kidding. And she hated being called Jenny. She’d told Evan that numerous times.
Evan didn’t respond to her demand. His hand reached over to brush her flushed cheek, but she swatted it away. She never wanted him to touch her again. Evan just chuckled at
her. They had driven for a short distance before he pulled over. Relieved that he was letting her go, Jennifer got out of the car as soon as it came to a full stop, but she was blocked by the appearance of two large men in suits.
“Get her in the car and keep her calm. I don’t want her upset. Jenny is still a little flustered by her good fortune,” Evan instructed them through the still open passenger door.
One of the men grabbed Jennifer as she attempted to jump out of the car. He opened the door and shoveled her into the back seat, then climbed in after her. The other guy got in the front next to Evan.
Jennifer had had enough. This shit wasn’t funny at all. She started yelling at Even and demanding he pull over and let her out of the car. After a minute of her ranting at the back of Evan’s head, he began getting increasingly red in the face. The man next to her made a show of unbuttoning his jacket so she could see his gun holstered there. Jennifer blinked rapidly, recognizing the threat. She finally looked the man directly in the eyes. He was a barrel-chested man with a craggy face. He looked mean as hell when he reached up and wrapped his giant mitt around the handle of the gun.
“Don’t make the boss angry, lady. That makes me angry. I’m supposed to keep you calm back here. I’ll do that any way necessary. You get me?” His cold stare was unsettling. Would he shoot her? Would he pistol whip her?
Jennifer realized these must be Evan’s men. The ones he said would have been with him tonight if he weren’t tiptoeing around her. She’d never seen them before. His men were gun toting thugs. It began to sink in that she was in real danger. This was not a joke. She wasn’t being punked, either. Jennifer looked up to find Evan glaring at her through the review mirror.
“I understand there will be an adjustment period for you, Jenny, but I demand respect and obedience. You belong to me, now, and that’s how it’s going to be. I’m done playing this game with you. No more dating, either, unless I feel like you’ve earned the privilege. No more pretending I’m some soft punk to gain your trust. I’m a businessman, and I don’t have time to coddle you any longer. You cost me money tonight. That won’t happen again.” His expression promised retribution if it did. “I’m bringing you into my world sooner than later, so you can just adjust to your new circumstance. It’s a gift I’m giving you. You will learn to appreciate it.”
