by Linda Conrad
He’d heard her make comments like that a time or two, even before she’d witnessed the murder, and it had made him curious. What did she have against Texas? But he didn’t think now was the time to make her answer questions. She looked so tired.
“It’s late. And I’m hungry. Let’s stop for a few hours. Okay?”
A little strip of businesses appeared about a quarter mile ahead. He could see signs for a motel and a gas station.
As she murmured her okay to stop, he drove into a wide parking lot and pulled in front of the motel. “Stay here. I’ll get us a room.”
“One room?” She opened her eyes and frowned.
No way was he letting her out of his sight. But how to tell her that without also giving her the truth of their situation? She was barely well enough to be out of the hospital. He didn’t want to push her too hard too soon.
Terror had never been known as a good prescription for healing. And now that he had found a purpose in life again—keeping Nina safe and healthy until he returned her to California—he wasn’t about to screw it up.
“I’ll ask for two double beds,” he assured her. “But I want to stay close to make sure your fever doesn’t return in the night.”
Slamming the door behind him before she could say anything else, he strode inside to register while keeping one eye on the SUV at the same time. She hadn’t had a fever in several days, but he hoped that had sounded like as good an excuse as any.
From now on, no matter what it took, they would be tied together like conjoined twins. Her life had become too important to risk.
Chapter 3
Nina tossed her backpack on the closest bed and looked around the motel room. It wasn’t much. But at least the place looked clean, if a little dingy.
They’d been lucky that the motel manager lived in a separate residence behind the motel. Josh had asked about storing their SUV there. He hadn’t said it was to keep the vehicle out of sight, but she’d known why.
So she was first to the room. Checking the bathroom, she decided it wasn’t too bad. Of course, since they hadn’t gone that far from the wildfires, the whole place reeked of smoke. The same pungent scent that had fouled the range they’d driven through since leaving the hospital.
But it wasn’t that terrible. Her job entailed working in smoke-saturated countrysides and she’d become accustomed to the smell of smoke clinging to everything and anything. There could be a lot worse things to smell, she supposed.
Before she’d left the hospital the pulmonologists had given her strict orders: no fighting fires for at least a month. She could go back to headquarters and back to training, but no actual firefighting, to give her lungs time to heal.
Fighting wildfires was the one thing that meant the world to her. Someday she would get used to being alone—not making friends and not letting anyone get close. That was just a sad fact of the kind of life she must lead. But she was good at firefighting and needed to go back to doing it as soon as she could. It gave her a purpose.
Sitting at the edge of the bed and waiting while Josh finished stashing their SUV, she tried to find a little perspective. She’d been afraid of shadows for nearly her entire life. Seeing a murder committed should not be too big a deal next to everything else she’d gone through.
But things seemed different now that she was totally alone in the world. Once there had been Yolanda and her son, Raul, who’d saved her and knew all about her background. Now they were both gone. Her dearest foster mother, Yolanda, had been killed in a robbery six months ago.
Everyone who could connect the dots about her past was gone. It made her isolated lifestyle feel so much more real and lonely.
She kept trying to tell herself that continuing on this way would be for the best. That she’d lived the bulk of her life in this same singular manner and shouldn’t need to change anything now. She couldn’t show any weakness. Or wish for anything more just because a murderer might be stalking her.
Yet Josh had saved her life—and he’d suddenly made her want something more.
Should she be upset about spending the night in the same room with him? Maybe. It was definitely not her style. But she didn’t feel upset by it at all. She wondered if that might be because she thought of him as a doctor. Nope, upon due consideration, she did not. Not even a little.
Searching her mind she tried coming up with another logical reason why she wasn’t upset about spending time with Josh. She tried telling herself that she didn’t mind being alone with him because he’d always been a gentleman and clearly there was nothing to fear from him. Moreover, he’d apparently made up his mind to become her protector. She knew enough about him to understand he was the do-gooder type. Not a predator.
Though if she had to be truthful with herself, and she should, there was one overriding reason she was ashamed to admit—even to herself.
The man seriously turned her on. Weak or strong, his touch always gave her tingles. Whenever he spoke, her body betrayed her with the chills. Anytime she accidentally bumped into him, her body went immediately hot and wet.
So she shouldn’t spend any more time than necessary with him. But she couldn’t help it. She wanted to know more about him. Find out what made him tick. She wanted to get closer—emotionally.
Yeah, right. This had nothing to do with his extremely sexy body. Ha! If only.
No other man had ever had this kind of effect on her. And she’d seen plenty of sexy men’s bodies. Men in her experience had always been firefighting comrades, competitors or sometimes friends.
Okay, she’d gone out with a few men in the past. But one kiss or one clumsy pass, and she’d been long gone. She just couldn’t let anyone get too close. Not physically or emotionally. Her life felt too tenuous. She had not wanted to care about another person.
Not until Josh.
Just then he let himself into the room. “Are you hungry?” He stood by the door with his hands in his pockets. “I think they sell hot food at the gas station next door. Thought if you wanted to shower or take a nap, I’d go check it out. I’ll bring back whatever they have as fast as I can. Okay?”
“I probably should eat,” she said offhandedly. “To keep up my strength. But you don’t have to rush.”
Then she really looked at his expression and saw something there that told a different story than what his words had been saying. “Or do you? You’re worried. About me? I’m feeling stronger, so it can’t be about my health. You must be afraid the murderer will find us here.”
He scowled, but didn’t deny what she’d guessed.
“You are concerned. How would anyone find us? You already hid the SUV. Right?”
Josh stood still, gazing at her without saying a word.
“You still believe we’ve been followed all this time?” A chill ran down her arms. “That someone is standing back and watching us from afar? Like bugs? It seems impossible.”
He took a step toward her. “I didn’t want to upset you. But I’m fairly certain someone was following our rental SUV when we left the hospital. I think I lost them. And finding a place to hide the SUV was good luck. But…”
All of her life she’d been afraid of being found out. But now, suddenly, the fear seemed more immediate. And far more worrying. Trying to shake it off as she always had in the past, she lifted her chin and stood up beside him.
Unfurling her stiff five-foot-eight-inch body, she found she still had to look up to see Josh’s face. “Go.” The differences in their height and weight usually made her knees buckle but now she needed to stay strong. “We must eat. I’ll be okay while you’re gone. I know how to keep a door locked. It’ll be fine.”
Josh pulled the one small desk in the room partially in front of the door, leaving only enough space for him to squeeze out. “Are you strong enough to push the desk the rest of the way after I leave?”
“Go, Josh. I’ll be okay.”
Instead of leaving, he turned and came closer. Gazing at her with an expression in his eyes Nina
didn’t recognize, he gently palmed her cheek.
“Nothing can happen to you.”
The way he looked at her did odd things to her gut. The tenderness in his voice reminded her of the tone of voice she’d heard Raul use a time or two. But Raul’s gazes had been brotherly and Josh’s current gaze was definitely something else. Not at all like a brother.
Whatever that gaze meant, it made her hot and itchy.
Laughing to cover her discomfort, she pushed at his arm. “If you keep standing there, we’ll both starve to death. Get going. Bring me a hot dog. Two.”
That broke the mood.
“Yeah, hot dogs are exactly what you need to maintain your strength.” He chuckled and added, “Lock up behind me.” Then he turned and slowly walked out the door.
After it closed, Nina drew her first real breath, wondering what on earth she’d gotten herself into.
*
Josh came back with his arms loaded down. The hot food choices had been limited at the gas station convenience store, but he’d bought some of everything in sight. Now he had to figure out how to get back in the room if Nina was in the shower or taking another nap.
He rapped his foot against the door and whispered, “It’s me. Let me in.”
Relief ran through him when he heard the chain and bolt being shoved away. In moments he was through the door and setting his paper sacks full of food on the tiny desk.
“Lock it up again,” he warned her as he began dragging shredded barbecue beef tacos, fried chicken, and biscuits with sausage out of the bags. “No hot dogs. Sorry. But they had plenty of food. Dig in.”
“Tacos. That’s way better than hot dogs.” Nina, with her hair wet from a recent shower and wearing comfy-looking sweats, took a couple of foil-wrapped tacos with her to the bed. She plopped down on the edge and quickly dug right in.
While he’d been gone, he’d given a lot of thought to her and to their situation. He’d come to the conclusion that they needed to become closer friends. Close enough so that she would heed his advice.
And his best advice would be to seek law enforcement help as soon as possible. He’d been thinking with the wrong body parts where she was concerned. His heart and gut were overruling his mind. But it was time to stop trying to shield her from the world and start making the right moves instead.
As she chewed her food, she watched him thoughtfully.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked around a greasy chicken leg.
“I was just wondering about you. About your background. Who are you, Josh White? Where do you come from?”
Josh wasn’t positive how to begin. But he was smart enough to know he must give up something in order to get what he wanted. He never talked about himself. Never. But it looked as though this would have to be the exception.
“You know I was a Special Forces medic in the Middle East, right?” He swallowed a handful of French fries and waited.
She nodded and spoke around a mouthful of flour tortilla. “Sure. The guys on the team say you were a hero in Afghanistan. Saved more lives than any other medic in your entire company.”
“Don’t believe everything you hear.” He took another bite of chicken and changed the subject. “Before going into the service, I went to med school in Southern California. U.C. San Diego. I was raised near L.A.”
“Yeah? Me, too. I mean, I lived in L.A. for a while and I also lived near San Diego after that.”
Well, he was finally seeing a small break in that outer shell of silence of hers. If what he wanted was for her to open up, it looked as if he’d guessed right. His personal story should bring out more of hers. As much as he hated talking about himself.
“Tell me about your parents,” she went on before he could ask anything. “Are they still living?”
“My mom is. And she lives in the same house where I grew up. I guess you could say I had the perfect American dream of an upbringing.” Except of course for the one failing that had set him apart and caused him to be different from every other kid.
At the mention of an upbringing, she’d nodded but suddenly there was no hint of a smile on her face. What was that about? It made him more curious than ever about her upbringing. But he figured it still wasn’t time to try pinning her down.
“What made you decide to become a doctor?”
There it was. The question that usually turned him off. The one thing that he never wanted to talk about. But this time, for her, he would try to give a truthful answer.
While setting aside the rest of the chicken and wiping his sticky hands and mouth on a paper towel, he thought of how best to begin. He would rather skip this part of his story, but he couldn’t think of an easier way of making her like him well enough to talk. So…he’d try giving her a reason to pity him.
Seemed stupid when he thought of it that way. But if it worked—
“I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital as a kid and idolized my doctors. They were like gods. Eventually, I decided that’s what I had to be when I grew up.” If he grew up. There’d been some question about that at the time, as he recalled.
She set her last half-eaten taco down on the nightstand and studied him. “Well? You can’t leave it at that. Why did you have to spend all that time in a hospital as a kid? Was it cancer?”
“No, not cancer.” Though that was what everyone he’d told always assumed.
There were times, during his darkest hours, when he’d almost wished he’d had cancer instead.
“I was born with a weak heart.” Weak was the easiest way of saying it and usually sufficed as explanation enough. “For years I was in and out of hospitals. Having operation after operation.”
“That must’ve been tough on a little kid.”
He took a swig from his soda bottle to give himself time to prepare for the rest. “Yeah. It wasn’t easy. I always wanted to be outside playing instead of being forced to lie in a bed all the time. I was desperate to participate in every sport. There wasn’t one I didn’t want to try.”
“That doesn’t sound like much fun.” Her gaze raked down his body as she gave him the once-over, electrifying his every nerve.
“But I guess you found a way. You look plenty healthy now.” Blushing, she nervously sipped her own soda.
Chuckling, he raised and lowered his eyebrows with a leering expression. “So glad you noticed.”
“I didn’t… I mean…” She scowled but ran out of words.
Her embarrassment looked so cute that it was everything he could do to keep from kissing her.
Letting them both off the hook, he gave up trying to stall and spilled the rest of the story. “I eventually had to have a heart transplant. It was a pretty big deal.”
Nodding, she slid down the bed until her head rested on the pillow. “I can imagine. But then you were okay?”
He couldn’t bear to watch her, looking soft and feminine lying there, so he turned his back. “Yeah, after long months of making sure my body didn’t reject the heart.”
Of course, that wasn’t strictly true. His physical health had been okay, but the deep guilt he still felt over not dying continued to take a toll on his emotional well-being. He’d been gifted with some other child’s heart. A child that had to die so that he could live. The idea of that was what had driven him to save lives.
She stayed quiet for a long moment and curiosity made him turn back in time to see her eyes closing.
“I’ll have to thank your doctors someday.” Her voice lowered to barely a whisper. “They saved you so you could save me.”
Watching as her breathing grew even and steady, he knew even from where he stood that she’d fallen asleep. He’d hoped to have a chance to get some answers from her and to talk to her about where they went from here. But she obviously needed her rest more.
Now that she was asleep, he allowed himself a moment to just stand and stare. Taking in the long, lean lines of her body and the rounded curves still visible under the thick sweats, he wanted her. Wanted her so bad
ly that he was having difficulty keeping his hands to himself.
He’d already tried every trick in the book to put his mind on other things. Thinking about a murderer coming for her had done the job—most of the time.
Holding back the urge to climb into bed beside her, he tried to remember why he shouldn’t.
Every man in her Hotshot unit was well aware that Nina got skittish when men came too close. In order to keep things running smoothly, they all respected her needs and kept her at arm’s length. As long as the men treated her as a buddy and not as the attractive woman she was, everyone got along. A few jokes. Lots of competition on the training field. But no touching.
And she never talked about herself. Never.
Rumors about her past ran the gamut from her being an actress gearing up for a part in a movie to her being a criminal in hiding from the law. That last one nagged at him because she’d been so secretive. But he really didn’t buy it.
The only thing he’d ever heard for sure about her past was that she’d been somehow related to a firefighter named Raul Martinez, who’d died a few years back in the great Rocky Mountain blaze. The word was he’d been her brother, not her father or husband, but no one seemed positive about the relation.
Josh needed to know more. He’d like to learn everything about her. But for now, he just needed enough information to keep her alive. Did she have family? Where was she originally from? Could she count on others for help? Or were they going to be in danger, too?
Shrugging, he gave up wondering for tonight and dragged a blanket out of the closet, draping it over her sleeping body. He yawned and stretched in the dim light, figuring he could use a few hours of sleep himself.
He kicked off his boots and unbuckled the waistband of his jeans, then turned off the overhead light and climbed into the other bed. Maybe tomorrow she would be more amenable to talking about herself. And afterward, when he knew for sure she wasn’t hiding from the law, he could try giving her advice on calling on them for help.
Whatever tomorrow might bring, and despite the regretful way his body kept reacting to her, he was still determined to keep her close. She was becoming more important to him by the moment.
