by Ali Parker
“Oh my goodness.” Jolene gasped suddenly. “What are they doing here?”
I turned and saw everyone we’d invited over to the apartment making their way down the stairs. Cleo was first, bounding in long strides, followed by Darla, and then Kristo helping his nonna down the steps. I couldn’t help giggling when I saw her like that. She was far from a frail old woman, and I had seen her in full, terrifying flight and knew what she was capable of.
“They’re here to help with your move,” I told her, craning around in my seat and beaming at her. She slapped her hand over her mouth.
“Really?”
“Really.” I went to help her out of the back seat of the SUV. Kristo ran to my side to help, and she was finally really there in the apartment the way I’d always dreamed.
“Welcome home!” Everyone let out a ragged chorus of the same words, and Jolene was smiling so hard, I thought she might split her face in two. She got a round of hugs from everyone, Kristo’s grandmother, in particular, who seemed reluctant to let go, and when Cleo hugged her, she wisecracked, as she was wont to do.
“Glad to see you finally made it out of the big house,” she teased, and I held my breath, praying to God she hadn’t just overstepped a line and put her foot in it. To my surprise, Jolene busted out laughing and grinned at her sister-in-law-to-be.
“Me too!” she exclaimed, and in a flurry of activity, we got Jolene and her meager number of boxes upstairs. I hung back for a moment, watching her interact with everyone else, and I felt—I wasn’t sure what it was I was feeling, but it wouldn’t go away. Cleo’s comment was playing at the back of my mind. Big house? Was that how Jolene had seen it all this time? That I had been locking her away and keeping her at arm’s length? I hated the very thought of it, yet there was nothing I could do about it now.
Kristo had gone out of his way to gather some fancy food together for Jolene, to appeal to her tendencies as a foodie. She tried it all as she took in the new flavors and textures. The group was small but lively, and they helped move everything through to the spare room that we had spent the last few weeks clearing out to make sure there was room for Jolene. We had the perfect caregiver picked out. We would be introducing her to Jolene the next day. Everything was in place, yet I couldn’t shake that nagging sense of guilt that I had done something terribly wrong.
I found myself standing over one of the boxes in Jolene’s new room, carefully folding and refolding her clothes before packing them away. My mouth was turned down at the edges, and I didn’t want to go out there and ruin everyone else’s good time. But Kristo soon seemed to notice I was gone, and he followed me into the bedroom, pushing the door shut behind us.
“What’s going on?” he asked, still grinning from whatever conversation he’d just been having out there. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah,” I assured him, and then I lowered my gaze and let out a long sigh. “Actually, no.”
“No?” He moved against me, clearly concerned. He wrapped his arms around my waist, letting his hand rest on my belly. He had fallen into a habit of it recently, even though we both knew the baby was way too small to feel moving yet. It made me feel grounded, being with him like this and knowing I could be honest, so I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair and decided to tell him the truth.
“I just feel guilty,” I admitted. “About Jolene.”
“What do you mean?” He furrowed his brow. “Aren’t you happy she’s here?”
“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head. “I’m so happy she’s here, happier than I could ever tell you. But she spent so long up in that house all by herself while I was down here in the city with you.”
“That was a choice you made for the both of you,” he reminded me. “You would have had to give up your career to stay at home and take care of her. You had to do it, remember?”
“Yeah, but did I really?” I wondered aloud. “I could have worked from home. I could have made sure I got up to see her more often. Seeing the way she was when we were leaving, it was like she couldn’t get out of there fast enough, you know? How much has she been hating it there and not telling me?”
“Hey, hey, come on now.” He brushed my hair back from my face, and I realized I was choking up. I glanced away from him, not wanting to ruin the day by starting to cry.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to be like this.
“I understand,” he soothed me gently. “It’s hard, I get it. But she’s here now, and you can’t forget about that. She’s going to stay here for as long as she wants. Your sister is going to be living with you again, and you get to keep your job. It’s what you wanted, remember?”
“But am I just doing the same thing again?” I chewed my lip. “Just pawning her off on someone else and running off to live my own life?”
“Do you really think Jolene would want you worrying about her like this?” Kristo changed his approach. My shoulders slumped, and I shook my head.
“I guess not,” I conceded.
“She’s happy to be here with you,” he reminded me. “She wanted to come here. This is so far removed from where you had her before, and I don’t think she holds that against you, either. You did what you had to do, and nobody blames you for that.”
“I do,” I mumbled, though I was just being difficult for the sake of it. I still felt that gnawing sadness at the thought that I’d stuck Jolene in that place for so long without truly thinking about how deeply it might affect her, that I had handed her off onto other people and run off to live my own life, to follow through things with Kristo. I closed my eyes, and I tried to imagine what my parents might have said about the situation. But if they had been around, none of this would be an issue in the first place and trying to think about them was too painful for the time being, especially now that I was pregnant myself.
Kristo planted a kiss on my cheek and took my hand, tugging me gently out of the room.
“Come on, let’s get back to the party,” he suggested. “You don’t want to miss this. I know you don’t.”
“You’re right,” I agreed, and I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes, and followed him back out into the party. I looked around at this small group of people who I cared so deeply about and managed a smile. Jolene was here, she was happy, and that was all that mattered to me right now.
“You’ve done everything you could have,” Kristo murmured into my ear. “Really. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“I’ll try,” I promised him, even though I knew it was hollow. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jolene up in that place all alone. At least she was here with me now, surrounded by people who liked her and loved her. I took a deep breath and strode over to my sister as she took a bite of something with pâté on it.
“What’s this?” I asked her gamely, and she held it out to me.
“Why don’t you try it?” she suggested, and I cocked an eyebrow at her.
“How bad?”
“Pretty bad.” She lifted her eyebrows. “But you’ve got to see for yourself.”
I took it from her and nibbled a little. Soon enough, she was guiding me through all the fancy foods Kristo had gotten for her. I was surprised at how knowledgeable she was, and it was odd to me to see my little sister holding court like that, totally in control and totally authoritative on the matter. I found myself beginning to relax, even though I was still running through that guilt in the back of my mind. Kristo was right. I had done what I had to for both of us back then, and now she was here. That was all that mattered.
As the party drew on, I noticed Darla and Cleo flirting and grinned to myself. Kristo had told me that things between Cleo and her latest squeeze had gone south recently, and I had practically jumped at the chance to get her and Darla in a room together all over again. Their chemistry was intense, so much so that even Nonna was watching the two of them with amusement.
“And how long have they known each other?” she asked Kristo as he stood next to me.
“This is the second time
they’ve met,” Kristo replied. Nonna’s eyebrows shot up.
“The second?” She shook her head, glancing over at Cleo who was casually touching Darla’s waist as she made a point in the conversation. “They look like they’ve known each other for years.”
“Yeah, they really do,” I agreed, and I bumped my hip against Kristo triumphantly in a silent reminder that I was the one who had thought to bring them together in the first place. He bumped me back, and I managed a smile.
“I’m going to make sure we got everything from the SUV.” Kristo stepped away from me, leaving me alone in the room with his family and mine. A few weeks before, I might have been launching straight into panic mode at the thought of it and of having to mediate a conversation between the two sides of our families, but now I barely even blinked. They were my family as much as they were his, and I couldn’t have imagined life without them.
63
I woke early the next morning before Amaya had so much as opened her eyes. She was sleeping restlessly, having been up and down in the night, ill with the baby. I had gotten up a few times with her, but she had waved me away and insisted I go back to bed.
“One of us should be rested for tomorrow,” she told me, bleary and clutching her stomach. I shrugged, happy to go back to bed, the tiredness weighing heavy on my system.
I leaned over and planted a kiss on her temple, being sure not to wake her up, and slipped out of bed. I went through the apartment to check on Jolene. I didn’t want her sitting there feeling like she was intruding on anything, but when I stuck my head into her room, she was sleeping soundly with her back to the door, her chest rising and falling slowly and peacefully. I decided to leave her to catch up on some sleep and slid into a long, hot shower. It had been a hell of a day yesterday, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the next few hours getting used to having a new person in our lives. Plus, maybe a little bit of celebration that Jolene was finally with us as a proper family too.
I was about to head over to the kitchen when I heard a snuffle from the couch, and my eyebrows shot up as I realized Cleo was sleeping on the couch. I made my way around the large, luxurious sofa, and sure enough, there was my sister, flat out and snoring quietly where she lay. I stared at her for a long moment and then shook her shoulder.
“Cleo,” I spoke firmly. “Cleo, wake up.”
A moment later, her eyes fluttered open, and she blinked a couple of times before she pushed herself upright. Her makeup from the night before was a little smudged, and she was still wearing the jeans and the sweater she had been in when she’d arrived yesterday.
“I don’t remember you asking if you could stay over,” I teased. “Have a good night, did you?”
“Yeah, I really did.” She nodded, cocking her head up at me as though challenging me to take her up on it. She stretched and yawned and went to lay back down again, but I shook my head at her.
“You really think you’re getting away that easily?” I asked. “I’m making a big breakfast. I could use some help.”
“Oh god,” she groaned. “Really? I just want to get some sleep.”
“Then you should have done a better job hiding out somewhere that wasn’t my living room,” I pointed out. She held her hands up.
“Fair point.” She dragged herself to her feet. “Do I at least get a little time to wash up first?”
“Yup.” I gestured to the bathroom. “I’m not having you in my kitchen looking like that.”
“Careful, or I might not end up so good-natured about it,” she warned. I chuckled.
“If this is you good-natured, I’d hate to see what’s a bad mood,” I called after her. She waved her hand at me as she went to wash up, and I turned my attention to breakfast. I had to start by clearing away the food we’d laid out the night before. Jolene had loved trying all the fancy gourmet stuff, but I knew what everyone needed was a serious dose of grease and carbs and fat to get them through the day.
Cleo and I took a walk down to the local grocery store to pick up eggs and bacon and bread, and she shook her head at me as we packed it up.
“You know Nonna would kill you for making such an American breakfast, right?” she teased me.
“Honestly, you slap her coffee on the side of anything, and I think she’d be happy pretending it was traditional,” I pointed out, and Cleo nodded.
“Pretty much,” she agreed. We headed back up to the house to start putting the food together. There was a question hanging in the air between us, one I hadn’t wanted to come out and ask but that needed speaking.
“So, why did you crash over here last night?” I wondered aloud. “That’s not really like you.”
“No, I know.” She shook her head as she greased the bottom of a pan with some oil. “But the night just kept going on and I—”
“Amaya and I were in bed by ten,” I reminded her. “So was Jolene. And we put Nonna in the car home just before that.”
“So?”
“So, it was just you and Darla in here all by yourselves,” I remarked, cocking an eyebrow at her. “Something I should know about there?”
“Nothing you should know about,” she replied, playing at prim, and I laughed.
“I’m going to get it out of you one way or another, you know that, right?” I told her, and she tapped the side of her nose.
“Good luck with that,” she replied, and I gave her a quick, one-armed hug as I went to start cracking the eggs into the pan.
“I’m glad you’ve found someone you like,” I told her. “Darla seems fun. Plus, you’ll have a date for the wedding.”
“She’s already invited, right? Can you just make her the maid of honor so I have an excuse to make out with her?”
“Little late for that,” I pointed out. “And besides, I don’t think you’re going to need anything in the way of an excuse, are you?”
“Yeah, fair point.” She flashed me that cocky smile I shared with her, that self-assurance a family trait. The two of us put on the radio and cooked together as it played, listening to the bad old hits and the news and the weather. I couldn’t remember the last time I had cooked a meal with my sister. When we were younger, we would sneak into the kitchen early some weekends and cook for our father. I knew he probably preferred the housekeeper’s near-gourmet skills, but he would eat our food happily and make like it was exactly what he’d been craving.
We served up enormous plates of eggs, bacon, and toast and carried them to the dining table. Soon, it was laden down with coffee and orange juice and food and everything anyone could possibly need for a good breakfast. At that moment, Jolene emerged from her bedroom, yawning and running her hands through her messy hair.
“Good morning,” she greeted Cleo and me before rolling herself up to the table. “This looks amazing. Is this what you have every morning?”
“Oh, no.” I waved my hand. “Most of the time, I just stick to coffee. But we’re celebrating, aren’t we?”
“I thought we were just celebrating last night,” Jolene pointed out, and I grinned.
“Well, this is your welcome breakfast.” I gestured toward the food in front of us. “Consider it a welcome from Cleo and me.”
“Well, it looks fantastic.” She smiled at me. “Thank you so much for this.”
“Let me just go get Amaya, and then we can—”
“I’m up.” Amaya’s voice came from the doorway to the bedroom, and I turned to find her standing there, looking a little wobbly on her feet. “And don’t wait for me. I’m not feeling so good this morning. I’m going to go lie down.”
“Are you sure?” I furrowed my brow, and she nodded before turning to vanish back into the room.
“Morning sickness?” Jolene asked quietly as soon as Amaya was gone. I nodded.
“She’s been really suffering with it these last few days,” I replied. “I think the best we can do is let her rest.”
“More for me,” Jolene joked, and the three of us laughed. It sucked to see Amaya in such discomfort, but
she wouldn’t want what was going on with her to get in the way of Jolene finally being here after what felt like a lifetime of planning. We tucked into our food, and when I was finished, I left Cleo to wash up as I headed through to see how Amaya was doing.
“Baby?” I stuck my head around the door, and she was lying curled up in bed.
“Yeah, a baby is exactly why I’m feeling like this.” She gave me a look. “Thanks for reminding me.”
“Is it bad?” I asked. She nodded and winced as she struggled to sit up.
“Yeah, I just feel like crap, that’s all,” she sighed. “Whenever I exert myself a bunch one day, I feel like I have to pay for it the next one. Doesn’t feel fair. I just want to come out and have breakfast with the rest of you, but I can’t even look at that stuff without feeling like I’m going to throw up.”
“Hey, I know my cooking’s questionable sometimes, but I didn’t think it was that awful,” I joked, and she managed a smile, although I could tell it was paining her. I reached out to hitch her upright, and she wound an arm around me and let out a groan as though all this movement was more than she could deal with.
“Come on, you should go for a shower and then come out and spend some time with the rest of us,” I told her. “It’ll do you good to get your mind off it.”
“The rest of us?” She furrowed her brow. “Why? Who’s here?”
“Cleo stayed over last night,” I replied furtively, and she raised her eyebrows. It was the happiest I’d seen her all morning.
“Oh?”
“And it seems like things between her and Darla are really kicking off,” I continued. “She wouldn’t tell me much this morning, but I think they’re falling for each other. She stayed over here just to spend more time with her, so that’s a good sign.”
“That really is.” Amaya sat up and turned her feet off the bed, planting them on the floor below and taking a deep breath. “All right, I think I’m ready to—”
