The Breakaway

by Michelle Davidson Argyle

  Her chest heaved as she struggled for breaths and fought to hold back the nausea rushing through her. “I’m not hungry,” she stuttered as she scrambled off the loveseat. Her iPod slipped from her panicked fingers and fell to the floor.

  “Naomi, calm down. We can talk through this. I didn’t see what you were watching until it was too late. I didn’t hear it all the way in the kitchen. If I had known—”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about them!” she screamed, surprised at her outburst and even more surprised at her accusation. “You knew they were doing this, didn’t you? You knew they were still looking for me—that they care.”

  His face turned bright red, but he remained calm. That was good, because she knew her outburst was cause for severe punishment. “I only knew a few weeks ago,” he said stiffly. “None of this changes anything.” He raised the sugar spoon. It trembled in his fingers. “They’re only saying those things for the public. It doesn’t change why you’re here.”

  “Th-that’s not true.” The room spun around her so fast she thought she might fall down. Eric came closer and started to wrap his arms around her, but she yanked away.

  “Don’t touch me.” She looked up at him through her tears, hoping to find a shred of peace in the world crumbling around her. He looked like he might be trying to sympathize, but mostly it seemed he was trying to contain his anger. His jaw was clenched, his eyes dark. He reached for her again, but she backed away as panic swirled her vision.

  “Let me help you,” he said, still moving toward her. “We care about you. Doesn’t that matter?” His face softened in true pity, but it didn’t help her.

  “Turn it back on. I want to see them again.”

  She had gone too far. The pity in Eric’s face melted into rage. “What have I told you before?” he growled, stepping closer. He threw the sugar spoon and remote onto the floor so hard that they bounced. “Don’t ever yell at me again and don’t ever tell me what to do or I’ll hit you so hard you’ll bleed for a damn week. Your parents are nothing. Nothing.” He moved closer, every muscle in his body ready to hit her.

  She backed away, trembling. “No,” she whispered.

  In a burst of energy, she raced past him to the stairs and up to her room. She slammed the door and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Her entire body shook. He couldn’t get to her in here. He couldn’t tell her what to do. She had to be strong now that she knew the truth—and that truth was bitter. It came up her throat as she dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and fell apart at the seams.

  XXIV

  EVELYN POUNDED ON THE DOOR FOR thirty minutes. Naomi didn’t answer. She tried to plug her ears, but the words still got through.

  “Honey, please come out! We have to go to work, but we need to know if you’re alright. Eric said you saw your parents on the TV. Sweetie, we can talk about this. You’re very hurt. You know you can talk to me about anything.”

  Naomi curled herself into a ball on the cold bathroom floor and squeezed her eyes closed so tightly that no tears could escape them. She didn’t want to cry anymore. It was stupid to cry.

  “Naomi! Open the door!” Evelyn pounded harder. “Honey, please.”

  She curled tighter. Her body trembled. All she could see was a red starfish and her mother’s eyes, twinkling with what had to be love. They loved her. They had started a foundation in her name. They had changed. It was all over their faces, and no matter how much she didn’t want to believe it, she couldn’t get it out of her head. She wanted to throw up again, but nothing was left.

  “I’m leaving,” Evelyn said with a heavy sigh. “If you don’t open the door when I get back I’ll have Steve force the lock open. You can’t stay in there forever.”

  Naomi repeated those words in her head all day long as she stayed on the floor, trying not to cry. After several hours, she took off her clothes and stepped into the shower where she finally let the tears come.

  Then Steve got home from work and forced open the lock to let Evelyn inside.

  Only, it wasn’t Evelyn.

  “Jesse, you can’t go in there!” Evelyn’s voice yelled out. “She’s in the shower. She might not want—”

  “I’ll handle this,” Jesse growled and slammed the door. When he pulled open the shower curtain she backed into the farthest corner, covering herself the best she could. He kept his eyes on her face and held out a towel. He looked sad.

  “You can’t stay in here forever.”

  “That’s what Evelyn said.” The water was turning cold. She shut it off and snatched the towel, hurriedly wrapping it around her naked body. She was sure Jesse had caught glimpses of everything. Part of her didn’t care.

  “She’s right. How long have you been standing here under the cold water?” He folded his arms.

  Her teeth chattering, she whispered, “I don’t know.” Then she knotted her brow. “When did you get back?”

  “Thirty minutes ago. Eric called me from his office and told me I had to get here to calm you down.”

  She looked at her towel and considered the heavy emotions in her heart. “I don’t need to calm down,” she muttered. “Look at me—I’m not screaming or anything. I’m perfectly fine.”

  “I don’t believe that.” He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer. “Evelyn said you saw your parents on TV. What happened?”

  Her teeth were still chattering. She wrapped the towel closer just as Jesse gave her his hand. At least he wanted to help her and he was being calm about it. She had to admit she was happy to see him, even past all the drama in her head.

  She took his hand and stepped out, allowing him to pull her into his arms. He held her tightly. It was only natural to rest against him, a sigh of relief escaping her mouth. He was safe to her. Through all of the crap she was feeling, he was the only one she wanted to help her.

  “Tell me, Naomi. I’m here.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” She was surprised at the monotone sound of her voice, as if something inside of her had died. She felt weak from hunger and crying.

  “Try,” he said, and put a finger beneath her chin to lift her face up to his. When she looked into his eyes she saw no impatience, no frustration. He wasn’t going to make her answer his questions this time. Something inside of her opened, and any doubt she had felt for his affection melted away. She took a deep breath. She could tell him.

  “They were on the Today Show talking about a foundation they’ve started. They’re still looking for me. They’re different. They’ve ... changed.” Fresh tears welled in her eyes. She tried to keep them back, but it was impossible. Jesse pulled her close again, stroking her bare shoulder blades, but not in an erotic way. Every movement he made was filled with concern.

  “I had no idea about any of this,” he said. “We haven’t been keeping an eye on any recent news reports about you. We got lazy.”

  “Would you have told me even if you had?”

  Silence. She knew the answer. They would never have risked telling her about the foundation or her parents’ altered feelings. She closed her eyes and held her breath. Maybe their feelings weren’t altered. Maybe they had loved her all along. That thought hurt most of all.

  “Come on,” Jesse said, releasing her. “Let’s get you in some clothes so you can rest.”

  Nodding, she watched as he turned and opened the door. She had expected Evelyn to be waiting, but the room was empty. She followed him to her dresser where he opened a few drawers.

  “You don’t have to do everything for me,” she said as he searched through the drawers. “My pants are the third one down.”

  He pulled it open and looked over his shoulder. “Just let me help you, alright? You’re a wreck. Go sit down.”

  “Are you going to search through my underwear drawer, too?” She walked to her bed and sat on the edge, wrapping her arms around herself.

  He turned around and waved a pair of panties at her. “Already did. Does that bother you?”

  “No.�
� She took the clothes he handed her. He had picked one of her favorite outfits, and she realized how much attention he paid to things like that. At any other time she might have stood and hugged him, but right now all she wanted to do was curl up under the covers and cry herself to sleep. She couldn’t get her parents out of her head. They buried everything else.

  “I’m staying here until I know you’re okay,” he said as she stood to put the clothes on. His eyes met hers before he turned around. “Get dressed.”

  Staring at his back, she dropped the towel. She knew he wouldn’t turn around. He had already seen her naked anyway, so what did it matter? Her heart beat fast at the trust she felt for him, at how he had never forced her to do anything and she knew he never would.

  “I’m finished,” she said softly.

  He turned and nudged her to the bed. “Lie down.”

  She didn’t fight him. She knew he wanted to hold her again like he had so many months ago. It was exactly what she needed. When she was on the bed she turned her back to him and waited for him to crawl beside her. He pulled her close.

  “Now tell me why seeing your parents on TV was so upsetting.”

  She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. She would not cry. She wouldn’t. “Don’t you understand?” she whispered. “I haven’t seen them for a year. You and the others made me believe they didn’t care, and now it’s obvious they do.”

  With his other hand he smoothed her wet hair away from her face. “I don’t think we made you believe anything,” he said. “We only built on the truth—on what you told us yourself that night Eric slapped you. Don’t you remember?”

  “Yes, I do.” She clenched her jaw.

  “I don’t know what’s happened with your parents,” he said, still stroking her hair. She was sure his shirt was soaked by now. “All I know is that I’ve seen you happy here—happier than you’ve probably been anywhere else. Isn’t that right?”

  She concentrated on his warmth and inched closer to him, if it was possible to get any closer. He spoke the truth, but she still ached inside. Now that she knew her parents loved her, something felt unresolved. A door had opened, and she didn’t know if she could ever close it and walk away.

  Jesse was quiet for a long time. He didn’t urge her to answer his question. She relaxed against him and her eyes began to droop.

  “Naomi,” he finally said, a slight tremble in his voice.

  “Yes?”

  “I have to leave again for a few days. There’s something I have to do.”

  Her eyes popped open. “Leave again? You just got back. When are you finally going to stay?” Twisting, she looked him in the face. He appeared defeated somehow, as if he had been punched in the gut. That made her hurt too. “I don’t think I can handle you leaving again,” she said. “Seriously, I really, really don’t. Please, Jesse ....”

  “Don’t worry,” he said, and nudged her back onto her side. “Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  HE LEFT the next day, promising her he would be back soon. From her bedroom window she watched him drive away in Steve’s car just as Evelyn came in with her cleaning supplies.

  “Bathroom-cleaning day,” she said in a happy voice. “You want to do yoga when I’m finished?”

  Naomi turned around, her shoulders drooping. “I guess so.”

  “Oh, honey, he’ll be back soon.”

  “I know.”

  She raised her bucket of supplies. “Want to help? Get your mind off things?”

  “Sure.”

  As she sprayed the tiles down with a cleaner that smelled like mint, Naomi thought about how much time she had spent in the shower during her first few days in the house. She ran a cloth over the grout where she had etched the thirty-five marks and wondered what Evelyn had thought when she first saw them. She must have noticed.

  “Thanks for helping,” Evelyn said as she climbed onto the counter to reach the top of the mirror.

  “I don’t mind. It’s my mess, after all.”

  “Not much of a mess.” She laughed. “You used to be messier.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, but it was never bad, I promise.” Evelyn winked.

  Then Naomi remembered how she had never cleaned a bathroom before she had come here. She often helped Evelyn, and it made her appreciate Mindy’s job back home. She was forgetting what Mindy looked like, but she could remember her mother, especially now. Seeing her face on the TV made it seem like only yesterday that she had last seen her.

  “Are you alright, Naomi?” Evelyn stopped wiping the mirror and lowered herself off the counter. “Jesse said he smoothed things over with you, but I’m worried.”

  Finished with the tiles, Naomi turned and stepped out of the tub. “I’m not going to try to leave,” she said with a deep sigh, and shrugged. “There wouldn’t be any point.”

  “I suppose not.” Evelyn pulled her into a hug. “Eric’s going to be with you this evening while Steve and I go out. Remember that opera I’ve been talking about for months?”

  She nodded. Evelyn had been looking forward to the opera forever, and now it was finally here. “Did you get that dress?” she asked, remembering the dress Evelyn had shown her online.

  “I did. It fits beautifully, but I need to decide on a necklace. Will you help me pick one later?”

  “Sure.”

  THAT NIGHT she stood in front of Evelyn’s dresser. Staring down at four necklaces spread across the cherry wood, she ran her fingers over the diamonds and pearls and stopped at a gold chain studded with two rows of diamonds. Rubies sparkled in the center.

  Her fingers trembled as a sudden thought entered her head. Had Jesse stolen this jewelry?

  She looked up to see Evelyn standing in the bathroom applying her makeup. She was stunning. The bodice of her gown was fitted and laced, the skirt suddenly full at the hips. Gathers cascaded all the way down the back, falling to the floor in a waterfall of brilliant red. She blinked her brown eyes and smiled at Naomi in the mirror.

  “Choose one yet?”

  “I think so.” She turned back to the necklace and picked it up, the stones cold and smooth in her hands. She imagined Jesse snatching it from a safe with gloved hands, his eyes glowing green through a mask. She set it back on the dresser.

  He couldn’t have stolen it. They weren’t that stupid. They didn’t keep anything they took, except for her. They sold all the jewelry so they could live in Italy, wealthy, free and happy for the rest of their lives. She knew they hadn’t spent a dime of jewelry money, not yet. She had overheard them say it was to live on once they were in Italy. They would never have to work again, and that suited Naomi just fine. No temptations to ignore her for a career. No getting up to leave every morning. Together and happy all the time, free to do anything and go anywhere they wished. It sounded divine. Perfect.

  At least, that’s what she was trying to convince herself, but thoughts of her mother kept interrupting the dream.

  She lowered her gaze to a small, gold-framed photo on the dresser. It was the house in Italy. That much was obvious. It took her breath away.

  Situated on a hill overlooking the countryside, it was built mostly of stone with panoramic windows and manicured trees shading the upper yard. She could see a hint of rustic furniture through the windows, and a wide patio surrounded by lattice work.

  “Evelyn,” she said quietly, “why are there people living in it right now?”

  Evelyn turned away from the bathroom mirror. “Oh, you found the picture of the house. I should have shown you that before.” Turning back to the mirror, she continued her makeup. “There are people living there because my grandmother sold it to a business that rents it out to temporary tenants. That’s when we moved to an apartment in Arezzo, near Florence.”

  “You wanted to buy it back?”

  “Of course. It’s where my mother grew up, but she never had the time or money to go back after she moved here to the States.” Her shoulders dropped. “I don’t t
hink she would have liked that my grandmother sold it.”

  “But it’s yours now, right?”

  She shoved a bobby pin into her hair. “Oh, yes. It’s what I’ve always wanted most—to raise a family where I remember being so happy. It was my dream to adopt a child once we were there for a few years, but now we have you, and Steve and Eric made sure to—” She stopped, lowered her hands from her hair, and turned to Naomi with a relieved smile. “They installed a swimming pool last year. You’ll really like it there. I promise.”

  A child. She figured that’s why Evelyn was so attached to her, but it was alright. It felt good for someone to want her that way.

  “A swimming pool sounds nice,” she said, her voice distant. She imagined swimming under a hot, blue Italian sky with Jesse next to her. She could feel his hands caressing her waist as he pressed his lips to hers. They tasted of garlic and wine from the dinner they had eaten on the sun-drenched patio. He would read to her in the evening before bed, and hold her through the night as she dreamed about growing older. She would forget what it felt like to be a child, even at seventeen when she thought Brad was her future, when he held her in his fist like a bird with broken wings, squeezing so tightly she didn’t know what was sky and what was ground.

  Now she knew. Now she could see the sky unfolding before her, the color of sapphires in Jesse’s open palm, his eyes telling her, I’ll stay with you because I’ve never felt like this about anybody.

  “Oh, the rubies,” Evelyn exclaimed as she walked over to her and noticed the necklace Naomi had chosen. Smiling, she lifted it from the dresser. “It was my mother’s.” She pulled the chain around her neck and her fingers fumbled with the clasp. “Naomi, could you?”

  She tore her eyes from the picture and reached up to fasten the necklace. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, small and plain next to Evelyn’s magnificence.

  It was a familiar vision, Naomi thought bitterly. It was how she felt about her mother, how she would never be her equal, never be as beautiful, successful, or happy with what she had chosen in her life. She was nothing but a pale, silvery imitation trying to follow in her footsteps. Forever.