by S. L. Siwik
He smirked at me before he held his long necked beer up and finished it off. I refused to act embarrassed.
“You could have just handed me back the money,” I snapped.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “Where’s the fun in that?”
I could feel my cheeks turning brighter, so I added, “The only reason I offered is because I thought you could use the five dollars to buy yourself a pack of disposable razors. Something obviously happened to yours.”
His brow rose, a smirk playing on his lips. “Will I be kissing someone tonight?”
I glared murderously and shook my head curtly. “No.”
His smirk turned to a full smile. “Then in that case…” He tossed the beer bottle onto the bar counter, grabbing my face in his hands. He turned my head sideways before rubbing his scruffy face against my cheek. I shrieked from the feeling-like harsh sandpaper grating across my skin.
“Let me go, you maniac!” The words came out garbled from my lips squished together.
He released my face, stepping back, holding his arm up to signal he wanted more drinks. The bartender walked over while I tried to figure out what just happened. “Another beer. And six shots of vodka.”
I rubbed my cheek from the sting. As he pulled money out of his wallet, he glanced back at me and asked, “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”
Ignoring him, I turned towards Max, whose arms were crossed, frowning in disapproval. “You’re right. He’s looking for trouble tonight.”
“You have no idea,” Max muttered darkly.
I glanced at George who was chuckling, thoroughly amused by the scene. A quick glance at Brian confused me as he looked furious.
I sighed returning to Ben’s still expectant gaze. “Take it easy on me, Ben. I’ve been semi-single for about four hours now.”
“Semi-single?” All four men said in unison.
I bit my lower lip, rubbing my forehead, trying not to meet their gazes. “We’re going through a rough patch now, but we’ll get it fixed.”
“Fixed?” Brian asked, his voice harsh.
“I…think the relationship is worth salvaging,” I replied meekly.
“Have you lost your fucking mind?” George shouted, “He cheated on you! What’s there to fix?”
“I know what he did!” I shouted back, “I’m going to have the image of that bitch’s perfect body riding him while I read her tramp stamp burned into my brain for the rest of my life!” I sighed realizing there was no reason to yell. “But, I’m not blameless either. Afterwards, he…” I bit back the tears. “told me all of these things that I wasn’t doing in the relationship. I had no idea he was miserable.”
Ben walked over handing me a shot glass. I swallowed the contents immediately. “Do you know what you sound like? Like the woman who got raped and then blamed herself because she was wearing a sexy outfit. Or the woman whose boyfriend hit her and she said that it was her fault because she was being bitchy to him.”
Oh, God. I wasn’t that bad. Was I? No, not at all. Yes, Ryan cheated, but he was a good person. Ben was blowing this way out of proportion.
Ben handed me another shot. I let the contents slide down my throat, burning its way down as he commented, “So what if he was unhappy. He never talked to you about all of these problems before he fucked the chick. If he told you what he wanted fixed, and you didn’t do it, we’d be having a different conversation right now. But, I know that’s not the case. You fucking lived for that douchebag.”
I frowned, not liking the way that sounded. I bit my lip, glancing around at the faces of my friends. “I don’t know how to let him go. I was supposed to marry him. He’s the one. I picked him as the one.”
“This I gotta hear,” George muttered as he crossed his arms.
“Ryan and I were dating for seven months before we… He was my first. I didn’t sleep with him until I realized I wanted to marry him.” My friends stood there speechless. I shook my head. “It’s just different where I come from. You guys wouldn’t understand.” The thought of facing my parents if they ever knew that I slept with Ryan let alone lived with him terrified me- the look of disappointment on my father’s face could crush me with one blow.
“Well, I think there’s nothing wrong with where you come from, Annie,” Brian said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, “And your parents are wonderful.” He squeezed his arm around my shoulder tighter. “Besides, doesn’t your father always say that the most important part of faith is mercy, compassion, and forgiveness?” I leaned my head onto his. He always knew what to say. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. Ryan’s just not the one.”
Ben and George both shook their heads. “Learn from your lessons and move on. You can’t stay with him,” Ben said.
“I actually agree with Ben on this, Annie. It’ll never be the same between you and Ryan again. He’s burned that bridge. You’ll never be able to be with him again and not picture her. His betrayal will just loom over you two like a dark cloud,” Max said.
As soon as he said the words, the image rose in my mind: sculpted back thrusting onto him, hearing his moans of pleasure as she worked his body.
My lip quivered as tears rolled down my cheek. I wiped them away quickly, hoping that in the strange lighting of the club, they wouldn’t see me crying.
I couldn’t let them all see me falling apart, so I quipped, “Max, did you just say that you agreed with Ben?”
Max harrumphed. “Ladies and gentleman, hell has just frozen over.”
“Ha!” Ben slapped Max hard on the back sending him flying forward. “Always knew I could pull you to the dark side. Have a drink, man.”
Max unruffled his shirt, glaring at our friend while taking the shot glass from him.
Ben held his hand up for the bartender. “Five more shots!”
Brian’s arm was still around me as I leaned into his body, his hand rubbing up and down my arm in a soothing gesture.
“So, what do you guys look for in a girl?” I asked, realizing that perhaps it was time to tap into my male resource pool for information.
“You know I don’t look at anything past the packaging,” George said.
“I don’t do relationships either,” Ben answered, “Strictly friends with benefits. None have lasted longer than four months.”
I sighed. “Ryan gave me a list of complaints.”
“And?” George asked. Brian was still rubbing my arm.
“And…”I bit my lower lip. “Maybe there’s something to his complaints.”
“Then hit us with the list. We’ll give you our honest opinion,” Ben said before taking another shot and slamming the empty shot glass back down onto the bar.
I sighed, knowing that I had to eat my pride. “Ryan says that I don’t care about my looks. He wished I worked out with him, says I’m too much of a couch potato.”
“And do you think there’s truth to his words?” Max asked.
The band on stage must have used a smoke machine, because suddenly the club was foggy and everyone was clapping along to the beat of the song. My friends and I all took a step closer to one another making our circle tighter.
I nodded my head at Max. “As far as being a couch potato,” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I come home from work, and if I don’t have more work that I need to do, dinner needs to be cooked, the house needs to be cleaned, laundry needs to be done…I don’t know. I’m just exhausted. All I want to do is veg out, relax, and unwind with Ryan.”
“That’s not strange. During the week, I always come home and relax after work,” Max stated, crossing his arms.
Ben snorted. “Yeah, ‘cause you act like you’re fifty. Annie’s in her early twenties, not in her thirties strapped down by whining kids and an asshole husband.” Ben turned his attention from Max to me. “You’re exhausted, mentally and physically, because your boyfriend is a piece of shit who doesn’t help with anything. You’re as tired as your burned out relationship. Toss him out, and the problem will fix itself.” Ben the
n drank another shot.
I glanced up at Brian to hear his opinion. “Nothing wrong with relaxing…if you’re with the right person.
I needed another drink desperately.
Chapter Four
“So, is that all of Ryan’s grievances?” Max asked. I shook my head.
George grunted. “Let’s hear what else he had to say.”
I blushed slightly before saying, “Ryan hates that I never wear lingerie, and he says I’m not adventurous in bed. He also said that I’m not secure with myself, and I’m uncomfortable being naked around him or undressing.” I rubbed my neck nervously.
They all glanced at each other first before speaking. Ben braved me first.
“And you agree or disagree?”
I closed my eyes nodding in defeat. “He’s totally right that I never wear lingerie, and I’m not very creative in bed.” My cheeks burned brighter as I rubbed my forehead in embarrassment. “But, honestly, it’s just because I’m nervous, and if I wore lingerie, he’d want to look at my body more…”
“And you’re apparently uncomfortable with that,” George finished for me. I nodded.
“Why on earth do you feel self-conscious with your body? You’re beautiful,” Brian added.
I shook my head.
“No, you don’t agree, or no, you don’t want to answer the question?” Ben asked, now leaning his arm against the bar.
“No to both,” I answered tersely. They all raised their brows at me in question. “There isn’t enough alcohol in this whole bar for that story.”
“Annie is refusing to tell us a story?” Ben bellowed. “No fucking way!” I shook my head again.
“What’s up, Annie, why won’t you tell us?” George looked genuinely hurt that I didn’t want to share.
I sighed. “It’s mortifying, unpleasant, and a rather painful memory for me.”
“Concerning…?” Max tried to pull the answer out of me. It was an exceptionally rare event when Max pushed someone to speak about anything.
“My first time,” I replied quietly.
Ben handed me a shot glass, which I drank without argument. “So, he fucked that up, didn’t he?”
I handed the glass back as the alcohol burned down my throat. “Something like that.”
“Ugh!” George groaned, his hands to his temples. “You can’t tell me these things! I don’t need any more reasons to knock his teeth in!”
I blinked, confused by his statement. “I don’t understand. Ryan is your friend too. Why are you guys all on my side?”
They all laughed at the same time and replied, “Ryan isn’t our friend.”
Ben answered first, “Annie we put up with that asshole because he was your boyfriend. We knew that if we gave you shit about him, you’d be forced to choose between us and him. We didn’t want to put you in that position so we dealt with him in order not to lose you.”
“He doesn’t like us either,” Brian added, “He came out with you occasionally to prove a point that even though you were our friend, he was your boyfriend. That’s why he was always touchy feely with you around us. He was reminding us whom you slept with at night.”
“Like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant to mark its territory,” Ben added.
I glanced around at the faces of my friends who were all frowning. “You really put up with him just to stay friends with me?” They all nodded. A tear trickled down my eye. “You guys are the best. Gimme hugs!” Brian hugged me tighter, and Ben came over squeezing me tightly. Max wasn’t a hugger, so his arm on my shoulder was the same thing.
I glanced at George who shook his head. “Later. Chicks can’t keep seeing me hug you, or I won’t score tonight.”
I pouted. “But, I was hoping that it might ignite our passion.” Everyone broke into laughter as George shook his head in defeat.
“Annie just scored us the next round!” Brian exclaimed.
As George ordered the shots begrudgingly, Ben asked, “So, is there anything left from Mr. Wonderful’s list?”
I bit my lower lip, glancing around at my friends. “He doesn’t like that I’m friends with so many guys.”
They all froze in place, then turned towards me, four pairs of eyes staring at me. “You told him to go fuck himself, right?” I bit my lower lip. “Right?” George exclaimed louder.
I sighed, realizing the biggest problem that I would ever have in my dating life. I couldn’t believe I had been so naïve.
“I’m going to have this problem with every guy that I date, aren’t I? No guy is ever going to accept that my four closest friends are all males, are they?” The guys all glanced at each other as they refused to look me in the eyes. “So, if I ever want to actually settle down and be serious, I have to end our friendships, don’t I?”
“Whoa! Let’s not get crazy here!” George shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.
“You just got out of a relationship. Why do you need to go looking for another one right now? Give yourself a solid six months of freedom before you chain yourself down again,” Ben added while he ran his hand through his hair.
“I think you’ll need to wean them off of you. If you cut them off cold turkey, it won’t be pretty,” Max commented. I stared at him quizzically, so he clarified, “You’re the only woman that they speak to without staring at her breasts. You’ve always been a whole new world to them, showing them that women and men can be in a room together and not have sex. It’s a big step for them down the road of maturity.” I rolled my eyes at Max who shrugged.
“You could solve the problem by dating someone you already know from your past. They’d understand your friendships. You wouldn’t have to lose anyone,” Brian said.
I felt defeated all over again. How had I been so blind?
“Was our relationship always doomed then…from the beginning?”
It was Ben who glanced at me, his face haunted. “No, but it was doomed since the first time he cheated on you. Seven months into your relationship.”
Frozen in place, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. “You’re a liar.”
He shook his head. “I’m not.”
I charged towards him like a bull in Pamplona. “You’re a filthy, dirty liar.”
He shook his head. “I have proof. Pictures and recordings of him making out with other girls at home.”
“You are such a liar!” I poked him in the chest.
He stared into my eyes for what felt like years as I heard my heart hammer in my chest, tears threatening to spill.
“He’d been sleeping with Kelly for the last five months. All that overtime he was supposedly doing?” Ben shook his head. “He’s just been doing her.”
I yanked my hand back ready to smack him, but he never took his eyes away from mine. Strong arms held my hand before I was able to swing. I glanced back and found Brian holding my arm.
