What the fuck? Mik? Nobody calls me that except Lainey. With that thought, I force my eyes open. The wood panelled ceiling of my room in the Compound greets me. I’m not pinned face down on the floor of the prison infirmary. I’m in my bed with my woman. Free. Exonerated. Safe.
Try telling that to my bloody racing heart and shaking hands, though. I feel like a pussy—a weak as fucking piss mamma’s boy. Who the fuck suffers from nightmares at the age of thirty-two? Lainey shifts in the bed beside me, reminding me of what dragged me out of my latest episode. I glance at her, my hand still on the curve of her hip, holding onto it like it’s my lifeline. Her blue eyes stare at me, her worry clear as day.
“Are you okay?”
Forcing myself to let go of her, I sit up, stretching my neck and rolling my shoulders to release some of the tension still gripping me. My fucking body is still in fight or flight mode. I need to calm the fuck down before Lainey cottons on to my shit.
“I’m fine, Angel. Just need a piss.”
Flipping back the covers, I stand next to the bed and look down at her. With the small beams of moonlight that are streaming through the gaps in the curtains illuminating her blonde hair, she looks like the angel she always has been to me. The adoration that fills her gaze when she runs it over what she can see of my body fills me with contentment. As long as I’ve got her, I can make it through anything. My fuck-up after she killed Brendan isn’t gonna be repeated. There’s no walking away this time—or letting her go. We’re forever. I don’t care who tries to tear us apart. They’re not gonna win.
My hands curl into fists when I think about what’s been done to us already. My shoulders shake as my rage builds. I’m lost in thoughts of retribution—visuals of Beast and Thomas Taylor’s heads permanently detached from their treacherous bodies—until Lainey’s soft voice breaks through. “What’s with the T-shirt and boxers?”
When I came out of the ensuite bathroom after fucking her brains earlier, dressed in a T-shirt and boxers, she’d lifted one delicate eyebrow but hadn’t said anything. We usually sleep in the nude, entwined like a pair of serpents, so Lainey was in bed naked as the day she was born, waiting for me, just like she would before I was locked up. I’d pretended I hadn’t seen her questioning look, or felt the way my cock had hardened at the sight of her bare breasts swaying, before she’d pulled up the covers to shield herself.
“Just used to it now, I guess.”
“Well, get un-used to it. I want to feel your skin touching mine.” Her cheeky smile warms the hole that’s been in my chest since I was jailed. Until I realize that there’s no way I can give her what she wants. Not tonight. Not ever.
“I’m going for a smoke,” I change the subject and head for the bedroom door without waiting for her answer. I’m pulling the door shut behind me when I hear her mutter with a big serve of snark. “I guess smoking’s another thing you’ve gotten used to.”
Picturing the eye roll that would’ve accompanied her bitchy comment, I enter the dark and empty bar with a smile on my face. My woman’s returning to her normal self already. Grabbing a smoke out of the communal pack that sits on top of the bar, I light it up and inhale a steadying drag. Taking a seat at the bar, I prop my head on my hands and blow the smoke out my mouth, wishing it was as easy to clear my issues from my head as it is to empty my lungs.
“Princess will kick your ass if she catches you doing that.”
Turning in my seat, I reach over and flick on the light to find Timber sitting on one of the bar stools about three feet away from me with a half-drunk beer in front of him.
“She’s already on my ass about it.” He chuckles, knowing as I do that she’s not gonna stop until she’s got her way. “What ya doing sitting in here in the dark?”
He drains the remainder of his beer and makes his way around to the other side of the bar. Pulling two beers out of the fridge, he pops the top off them both, sliding one toward me. I nod my thanks before taking a long drink. Timber does the same. We put our beers on the bar and face each other. I wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t. The silence that falls between us quickly becomes uncomfortable. A moment before I’m about to walk out, Timber lets out a long sigh, and throws himself onto the stool in front of me. “How many times do I have to tell you that nothing happened? That nothing’s ever gonna happen. I’m in love with JJ. Fuck, we’ve just had a kid. What more do you want from me?”
Standing, I reach over the bar and grab him by the front of his shirt with my free hand. He doesn’t fight me as I pull him closer. The colour drains from his face when I answer him with naked rage in my voice. “I want my President’s patch and I want you away from my woman. It’s pretty fucking simple. Do that and I’ll refrain from kicking your ass for being a fucking snake.” Yanking him until our noses are almost touching, I continue. “Any part of that you don’t understand, brother?”
I make what used to be a term of endearment—a way to show him that he meant more to me than almost anyone else—sound like an insult. He’s no longer my brother. That relationship died the moment Beast let the cat out of the bag. My best friend—the fucker I’ve trusted with my life more than once—is in love with my woman. Apparently, my blind loyalty to him had hidden what was clear for everyone else to see. He wanted me out of the way so he had a shot with Lainey.
Thinking back over their secret little conversations, his sickeningly cute nickname for her, the way he opened his house up to her after we broke up, makes my fucking blood boil. He didn’t just cross the line—he danced over the bloody thing, pissed all over our brotherhood, and fucked up any chance of us ever getting back to the way we once were. If he’d been honest, I could’ve swallowed it. Hiding it—letting Beast use it as ammo against me—was a pussy move. There’s no coming back from that.
“You think Princess is gonna let you get away with that? She’s my best friend—like you are. She’ll know you’re up to something. The last thing you’d call that woman is stupid.”
I let go of his shirt and drop my cigarette in his unfinished beer. “You let me worry about Lainey.”
Walking to the archway that leads back to the bedrooms, I turn and spit a final threat at him. “You tell her what’s going on, you won’t make it to your son’s first birthday.”
“She already knows, you fucking cockhead. I told her and she shut me down because she’s in love with you. I fucked up. I admit that. But you, you’re taking this too far. Try to pin her down and control who she’s friends with and she’ll fucking cut you loose.”
“That’s it, dickhead. I’d promised myself I wasn’t gonna lay a fucking hand on you outta respect for the years you’ve had my back but I’m not letting you get away with this anymore. New father or not, you deserve to have your fucking head knocked off your shoulders.”
Pounding a fist on the doorframe after I yell my threat at him, I start back in his direction. A growl of frustration leaves me when I’m pulled to a stop by strong arms around my waist. My annoyance increases when Joel slides past me in the doorway and I discover that Benji’s the asshole who’s trying to prevent me from getting my hands on fucking Timber. Joel holds his hands in front of my face. “Whoa. Calm down, Mad Dog.”
The obvious effort that it takes him to confront me and the sight of his mangled hands are the only things that make me come to a halt. “Joel. Brother. Get the fuck outta my way. I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“Just listen, you headstrong cunt. You start smashing his fucking face in and you’re gonna wake Maddi. Then, she’s gonna kick your ass.” Benji’s stern words are growled in my ear. Letting out a frustrated breath, I bounce my right leg up and down in an attempt to calm myself. Waking up Lainey is the last thing I need.
Gripping Benji by his wrist, I pull him from behind me with one arm until he’s facing me. Little fucker might be strong but he’s never been a match for me. “Grab me like that again and I’m gonna rip your arm off and beat you to death with it.”
His face is a carbon copy of his
twin sisters and so is his reaction to my threat. He rolls his eyes at me and shrugs. “Yeah. Yeah. Heard it all before. Just take a seat and listen.”
Joel pats me on the back and limps beside me to one of the barstools. Once my ass is planted, I look at the three amigos who seem to be hell bent on pissing me off tonight and wait for them to begin. They look between each other, their uncertainty filling the atmosphere. Joel looks at Benji, Benji shakes his head at him and turns to Timber. My former best friend grimaces, pulling his hair from its elastic, shaking it down around his shoulders before gathering it up and retying it in exactly the same place as before. I snicker at him, knowing his fiddling means that he’s inwardly shitting himself. It’s on the tip of my tongue to pay him out about his obvious tell but the memory of his deceit stops me at the last moment. The distance between us is gonna take some getting used to; considering we’ve had each other’s back since before we started school.
Shifting on my stool, I prop my right heel on the footstep and jiggle my leg once more. The silence continues, my temper increasing the longer it lasts. My leg bounces faster until I can’t stand it anymore. “Either you fuckers tell me why you stopped me from knocking this asshole’s head of his shoulders or you get the fuck outta my way and leave us—”
“You know, once upon a time, you were much easier to get on with.” Joel cuts in.
“That was before Lainey was hurt, you were crippled, Benji turned into a full-blown addict, and your fucking father had me locked up.” Fuck. When I list it like that, the amount of shit we’ve been through blows my fucking mind. And, that’s only scratching the surface. “Then to top it all off I find out my best friend wants my woman.” Pointing a finger at Joel, then Benji, my tone dares them to argue with me. “You know, the woman who’s been to hell and back already? The one I asked you two pricks to look after for me. The poor bitch who’s tucked up in my bed right now looking like a shadow of herself.”
Standing, I decide I’m done with their attempted intervention. It’s obvious that they only pulled this shit to save Timber’s ass. They have nothing useful to say.
“We get it. We’re the screw-ups and you’re Saint Michael. It’s not like you’ve ever messed up, hey? Dropped the ball and, I don’t know, run away from the woman you’re criticising us about.” Joel goes right for my jugular. Benji nods his agreement while Timber has enough sense not to make his feelings known. “My point is, we’ve all let her down. Hell, she’s let herself down.”
I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, but I stop myself. The little asshole has a point. What does the bible say? Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone. Well, I’m a sinner through and through, there’s no denying that, so I should probably shut up. I sit back down and wait for Joel to continue.
“The thing is, we can’t change the past, so let’s work out how we’re going to deal with the shit that’s going down now instead of wasting time fighting over shit we can’t undo.”
“You know; I really don’t like you sometimes.” Benji pipes up. “This whole wise old man shit you have going on is really fucking annoying.”
“You’re just jealous that I can string more than three words together without needing to say fuck.”
Benji spins on a full circle on his stool, then shrugs in his little brother’s direction and grins. “Nah, I think it’s because whenever you speak, I get the urge to turn myself into a pretzel and chant kumbaya.”
He pinches his fingertips together, closes his eyes, and pretends he’s meditating. A smile twitches at the edge of my lips but I refuse to let it break free. Not content with mocking Joel once, he then holds his hand to his mouth and gasps. “Oh dear, lordy me. Did little old me just manage a whole sentence without cursing? Wonders will never cease. Hell is beginning to cool as we speak. It’s the end of the world as we know it.”
I can’t hold my smile this time. He’s always had to be the one to break the tension, petrified as he is by anything remotely emotional. It’s what made him turn to drugs in the first place.
“A little more kumbaya and a little less amphetamine would benefit—”
“All right. That’s enough.” I need to break this up before it turns into a punch-up. Benji shoots Joel a look that says he’s not going to let what he just said slide.
“Fuck me.” Running my fingers through my hair, I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath. Letting it out, I grab another smoke and light it, sticking it between my lips and inhaling the addictive poison. “What shit’s going down now? I was told that everything’s sorted.”
Timber finally finds his balls and speaks. “I was gonna wait until we had church tomorrow but, I guess, there’s no time like the present.”
I eye the President’s patch sewn on the lapel of his cut. Here’s hoping he hasn’t got too attached to wearing it. It’s mine. Has been since birth. As the eldest of the third generation sons, I’ve been groomed to assume the position. Despite, Beast’s machinations to change that fact.
“You think?” If the sarcasm in my tone could be bottled and sold, I’d be a fucking millionaire. Wisely—who ever thought I’d accuse him of being wise—he doesn’t take my bait.
“Thomas Taylor.” I grind my teeth at the mere mention of the cunt behind everything. Timber lifts his eyebrows, acknowledging my anger. “He’s after Benji. We knew that was gonna happen when he blackmailed him for the T-shirt, only problem is we didn’t expect him to use the law to do it.”
I nod; we did know that we were strapping a gigantic target on Benji’s back by having him work as a double agent. The strategy was to turn Beast’s plot on its head so they had nothing to use to hold me in prison with all possible avenues for repercussions mapped out and planned for. “How?”
Benji speaks up, “By using my habit to put me away. Word on the street is that he’s got some of the Mavericks to turn witness to my buying and selling. An arrest is imminent.”
“So? Get a message to him reminding him that we won’t hesitate to drop the baby bombshell on his head.” I shrug. “Why is this a problem? I know he’s reacted quicker than we expected but he’s got nothing. Fuck me dead. This could’ve waited until morning.”
Benji clears his throat. Red spots appear on his cheeks and he ducks his head before he answers me. “Thomas has made amends with his father-in-law. He’s working to bury it so that it doesn’t come out and embarrass his daughter. We’ve lost our leverage.”
My gut starts to churn like a fucking washing machine. There’s no way I’m going back inside. “No, we haven’t lost a thing yet. Burying shit takes time. We need to find the kid first then it’ll be fucking impossible for them to hide a fucking thing.”
Timber nods. “I see where you’re going. I’ll get Kid onto it.”
Sneering, I turn my lips up in a sly smile. “I’ll get Kid on it. You’ll be handing that patch over tomorrow at church, let’s not forget.”
Pushing to my feet, I salute Joel and ignore my ex-best friend. Facing my woman’s twin, I keep my voice strong, even as my own uneasiness at what they’ve just laid on me tries to drag me back into the nightmare I just left. “Benji, go to rehab. I promise that we’ll make sure nothing happens to you. You have my fucking word. I’ll kill the cunt with my own hands before I let him put any of us behind bars again.”
CHAPTER FOUR
MADDI
The alarm on my phone wakes me. I shut it off quickly so I don’t wake Mik. God knows what time he came back to bed. I fell asleep waiting for him—that is after my brothers forbid me from leaving the room when they went to investigate the yelling in the bar. It grated against my innate nosiness to heed them but I couldn’t be bothered dealing with leftover drunken bikers from the “Welcome Home” party. Mik and my brothers could have them all to themselves.
Rolling onto my side, I discover that my urgency to switch off my alarm was unwarranted. He’s gone and has been for a while going by the coldness of his side of the bed. Flopping onto my back, I stare at the ceiling and mentally p
repare myself for the day. I’m annoyed that I have to work today, but with all the time I’ve had off over the past year, it’s a miracle that I have a job at all. I’ve been given extra leniency because I’m part of the MC and it’s beginning to cause a rift between me and my colleagues. They know that any other first-year graduate would’ve been fired by now.
Groaning as I stretch, I force myself out of bed and into the shower. Thank Christ for hot water. It’s almost as good as coffee. Morning ablution finished, I’m pinning my damp hair on top of my hair as I walk out of our bedroom and run into Timber. Literally.
“Shoot, I’m sorry.” I smile up at him, my hands coming to a rest on his chest while my hair falls down around my shoulder. “Why are you here so early?”
He regards me with a strange look in his eyes before grabbing my hands and pulling them from his barrel chest. Pushing my arms to my side, Timber takes a massive step back from me. His expression changes, filling with sadness and my heart sinks. “We have Church first thing. Mad Dog wants to get things moving.”
Heart pounding in my chest, I work to get some saliva into my suddenly dry mouth. I need to know if it’s about what I think it is. “By ‘get things moving’, you mean vote on my father’s punishment?”
My best friend reaches out a hand to me. He stops himself, a flicker of worry crossing his handsome features before he withdraws it. Awesome. Now, he’s acting weird. As if, Mik’s behaviour wasn’t enough. Shoving the offending appendage into the front pocket of his tight jeans, he shakes his head at me. “Not the punishment, Princess. The what and who are already sorted. We’re voting on how and when.”
The walls of the hallway start to close in on me and the room tilts. I thought my heart was pounding hard a minute ago—right now it’s proving how wrong I was. It thunders in my ears, deafening me to the next words that Timber says. When my stomach starts to churn, I slap a hand over my mouth and back away from him into the bedroom I just departed. As I slam the door shut, the last thing I see, are his ice-blue eyes crinkling around the edges when he sends me a sympathetic smile. Sitting on the side of the bed, I drop my head between my knees and breathe through my panic. It’s hard to ignore the pounding cadence of the cold hard truth as it reverberates around my head.
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