by Lisa Jordan
Maybe she could feel welcome here, find a home church where she belonged.
Since returning to her hometown, the church she had attended as a child with her parents didn’t offer her the same sense of welcome she’d once experienced. She attended because of Griffin, but instead of feeling the presence of the Lord, she felt censure. Since the Turners attended there, she didn’t need to have another run-in with Pam, so she chose the small chapel up the road from her cabin.
“Zoe?”
She turned at the sound of her name.
Holly Matlin, her old high school friend, stood behind her, her dark hair held back by a yellow headband that matched her yellow cardigan. She carried a little girl about nine months old on her hip.
“Hey, Holly. What are you doing here?”
Laughing, she batted a hand at Zoe. “Same as you—attending church.”
Zoe stroked the little girl’s hand. “Oh, yeah, right. Is this little cutie yours?”
“Yes, this is Isabella. She’s ten months today. I had my son, Trenton, at your Kids & Canines class. I think he’s in the same class as your son?”
“Could be. I’ll have to ask Griffin.” A sense of failure filled her for not knowing her son’s friends’ names or who his classmates were. She’d do better by getting involved. When she went to her parents’ tonight for their weekly Sunday dinner, she’d ask him about school.
“How are you? I wanted to catch up with you after that class, but your attention was directed elsewhere.” She winked.
Sully and his daughters.
“Thank you, by the way, for sticking up for me. I appreciate the support.”
“I’ve never been a fan of bullies, especially those who think they can throw their name and money around to get what they want. We really need to catch up.”
Zoe placed a hand on her friend’s arm. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Holly, but we were friends during a time of my life that doesn’t hold great memories for me. Our partying—well, my partying—caused my family a lot of pain. I’m not that person anymore, and I can’t risk falling back into that same lifestyle.” The image of Gina’s unconscious body floated into her thoughts.
Holly reached over the pew and gave Zoe a quick hug, surprising her. “Oh, honey, I’m not that same girl, either. Life has a way of smacking you upside the head with a wake-up call called reality.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I met a guy who gave me a choice—partying or him. After a heavy tug-of-war in my heart, I married him and haven’t looked back. I’m Holly Dempsey now.”
“Sounds like a great guy.”
“He’s perfect for me.”
“Maybe I’ll take you up on that catch-up session and get to meet him.”
“You can meet him today. He’s preaching.” She pointed to the back of the small church where a man in his early thirties dressed in khakis and a polo shirt shook hands with an elderly gentleman. “I need to find my son and find our seat. I’ll catch up with you soon.”
As Holly hurried down the aisle to corral her son and get seated, Zoe remembered how much fun Holly had been, even when they weren’t drinking.
It would be good to catch up. She’d finally have a friend. And a pastor’s wife at that. Maybe Holly would be a good one to talk to Gina, to show her it was possible to put that damaging lifestyle behind and focus on one filled with promise and hope. Zoe made a note to seek Holly out after the service.
Pastor Dempsey walked to the front of the sanctuary, welcomed the congregation and introduced himself. He opened with prayer, then directed everyone to open their hymnals.
As she searched for the number, someone slid in beside her and tugged on her skirt.
She looked down to find Ella smiling up at her. Sully held Ava’s hand as she moved in by her sister.
“Hey, girls,” she whispered, then looked up to find Sully smiling at her. Her heart jumped, and she couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her face if she tried.
He wore black pants and a red checked dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, exposing tanned, muscular forearms. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. “You look beautiful. I’ve missed you.”
The warmth of his breath near her ear sent a tremor shimming through her. “I missed you, too.”
And she did. She hadn’t seen him in a couple days—not since the night they had gone go-karting. As much as she wanted to talk to him, she needed a little distance. Time to put things in perspective, perhaps? She tore her gaze away from his eyes and shared her hymnal, trying to focus on the words without much success. She hadn’t seen him in several days, and all she wanted to do was stare and drink in the sight of him.
The rich timbre of his voice harmonized with hers as they sang. Her heart soared to hear him worship beside her.
By the time they finished singing and moved into the pastoral prayer, Zoe relaxed. Having Caleb sitting next to her, his arm brushing against hers, filled her with a sense of completion. Peace settled within the recesses of her soul. Even the songs about God’s love and grace acted as a balm, soothing the myriad of emotions she’d experienced this past week.
Caught up in her own thoughts, Zoe missed the scripture reference Pastor Dempsey had shared with the congregation before he started reading. She peeked at Caleb’s open Bible, which had all kinds of notes written in the margins, and then turned to Ephesians.
Pastor Dempsey closed his Bible, holding his place with his finger. He paused, made eye contact with the congregation, and then asked, “The Bible tells us we’ve been saved by grace, but I ask you—how far does grace go? Does that give us license to sin? Is grace a safety net? Or does it mean God’s supply is limitless and we need to go to Him daily for that day’s portion? Also, do we expect people to show us grace, yet hesitate to extend the same grace to others who’ve wronged us? No matter what we’ve gone through, we’re reminded in Isaiah that we have been redeemed. God knows us by name. We are His.”
Tears pooled in Zoe’s eyes, blurring the words on the page. She dabbed at her eyes with her fingertips.
Conviction about her decisions rooted her to her seat. She’d been so guilty of expecting grace from her hometown, but she was quick to put up her guard when it came to showing grace to others like the Turners. Same with the Jacobys. They’d lost a son because of her involvement, yet she expected them to embrace her with compassion?
When was the last time she had prayed for them? Had she ever?
Sully reached for her hand and gave her a gentle squeeze. She gave him a watery smile. As she listened to the rest of the sermon with Sully’s hand covering her’s, she realized Caleb was right—God had brought them together for a reason. God had set her on a path for a second chance, not only with Him, but also with Caleb, a man who knew about her past and cared about her in spite of it.
* * *
The Bible didn’t specify the apple as being the forbidden fruit, but Caleb could understand why Adam would be tempted if Eve offered one to him. He sunk his teeth into the speckled buttery-yellow Golden Delicious and allowed the tangy sweetness bathe his mouth. He swiped a hand across his lips and took another bite.
When they arrived at Newman’s Orchards, August and April Newman invited them to sample some of yesterday’s pickings.
The tractor hitched to the wooden wagon trundled down the rutted path, carrying them to the apple orchard. Sunshine warmed his face as his back pressed against the side of the wagon. Ella sat on his left leg, and Ava curled in Zoe’s lap while Griffin snuggled between Caleb and Zoe. He stole a glance at Zoe to see her enjoying her apple, too.
Talk about being tempted. He wanted to lean over and press a kiss to her lips, but he wouldn’t. Not in front of the kids.
Besides, he needed to figure out what direction this relationship was going, especially after hi
s run-in with the Turners at the go-kart track the other night.
Yeah, he could understand their pain and anger—if he was in a similar situation, he’d probably feel the same way. He was human.
But couldn’t they see Zoe wasn’t like that? That what happened was a tragic accident and not premeditated?
So, how was he supposed to continue building a future with the woman he loved while living next door to and working with Turner? Would he have to think about moving? Uproot the girls now that they were beginning to feel settled? Change careers?
Should he back off? Maybe he should’ve thought of that before he opened his big mouth and invited her and Griffin to join them at the orchard, but after not seeing or talking to her for a couple of days, he missed her.
Thinking about it tightened his gut.
Pastor Dempsey’s question this morning—how far does grace go?—had him questioning some of his own fears. What if things progressed with Zoe, and she slipped back into that old lifestyle? What if she chose the bottle over him? How would he handle it? He didn’t just need to worry about himself, but also the girls. They’d already been through their mother’s abandonment. They were becoming attached to Zoe, so if something happened, their little hearts would be broken again. Could he fix them a second time?
But Zoe’d shown she had no interest in that former life. She’d made great strides to prove she wasn’t what her past sins portrayed.
The confusion gave him a headache.
He needed to release the struggle. It wasn’t up to him to control the outcome. His job was to rely on God and allow his faith to see him through whatever may come their way.
The fragrant breeze ruffled their hair and rows of trees dotted with red and gold grew taller as they approached. The tractor stopped, causing the wagon to jerk. Caleb tightened an arm around Ella.
“Daddy, you’re squishing my breath.”
“Sorry, chipmunk. I didn’t want you to fall off my lap.”
“Well, if I did, you’d just pick me back up again, right?”
“Yes, Ells, I would. You can count on that.” He dropped a kiss on the tip of her freckled nose.
Mr. Newman stopped the tractor at the edge of the orchard and climbed down. He circled to the back of the wagon to lend a hand with the passengers needing assistance off the walk. Besides Caleb’s group, two other families with small children had chosen today to spend time together at the orchard.
Griffin jumped down. He was quick to help with Ella. Zoe grabbed a wooden picnic basket and a plaid blanket while holding on to Ava’s hand. Once Caleb eased off the wagon, he reached for Ava and set her by her sister, and then he took the basket, setting it on the ground. Then he reached for Zoe’s hand. Once her feet touched the ground, though, he wasn’t ready to let go.
She leaned into him, close enough for him to smell her perfume. “You okay?”
“Yes, why?”
“You were scowling in the wagon.”
“Oh. Just trying to work out a problem in my head.”
“Come up with an answer?”
“Yes, I realized it wasn’t my problem to work out. I needed to let it go.” He dropped an arm around her shoulder. “So, if I pick enough apples, will you make me a pie?”
She elbowed him in the side. “I was going to ask you the same thing. You’re really getting a handle on the domesticated-bliss thing.”
He smiled down at her and longed to share what was in his heart. Instead he ran a finger along the curve of her jaw. “Sometimes I think I need to have all the answers when what I really need is just to get through that particular day. At times, it’s definitely a challenge, but we’re getting into the swing of things. You’ve been a huge help as we’ve gotten settled here. It’s really beginning to feel like home.”
“I’m glad.” She threaded her fingers through his and squeezed.
Over her shoulder, he caught sight of Griffin watching them, his eyes staring at their joined hands. Caleb released her fingers, making a mental note to catch Griffin when they were alone to see what was going through the boy’s head. How did he feel about seeing Caleb holding his mom’s hand?
Caleb got the opportunity to check in with Griffin sooner than he’d expected.
About ten minutes into their picking, Zoe helped Ella and Ava fill their small bags. Caleb moved next to Griffin who was jumping to try and touch an apple on a lower branch.
“Need a hand, bud?”
Griffin grunted as his feet left the ground again. His fingertips nearly brushed the tips of the leaves. Caleb stretched and pulled the branch down low enough for Caleb to grip the apple. He tugged on the fruit, and the branch snapped back.
“Got it. Thanks, Sully.” Griffin grinned and thrust the apple in the air like a trophy.
Caleb clapped him on the back. “Way to go. Want to help me fill my bag?”
“Sure.” Griffin stooped to tie his shoe, then ran ahead to where Caleb had been picking apples.
Caleb pulled branches low enough for Griffin to grab the apples. “Hey, Griff, mind if I ask you a question?”
Griffin shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
“How do you feel about me hanging out with your mom?”
Griffin plucked another apple, but instead of setting it in the basket, he tossed it from hand to hand. “I don’t know. It’s okay, I guess.”
“You guess? Does it bother you?”
“No, I guess not. My mom smiles when you’re around. I like seeing my mom smile.”
He did, too. He’d do whatever it took to keep that smile on her face.
As if to prove her son’s point, he glanced at Zoe to see her watching them. She lifted her hand and waved. He waved back, then returned to picking apples with Griffin. While they filled their basket, Griffin filled him in about school and his friends.
One of the girls cried out behind him. Caleb spun around. Spying Ava on the ground with Zoe crouched in front of her and Ella sitting beside her, he dropped the apples in his hands and hurried over to his daughters.
“What happened?” He crouched beside his daughter and wiped her tears with the hem of his shirt.
Zoe uncapped her water bottle and poured it over the cut on Ava’s little knee. “She was running and tripped on her untied shoelace. She skinned her knee.”
Caleb sat on the ground and pulled Ava into his lap while Zoe tended to her wound. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Are you okay, princess?”
She nodded.
Ella wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulders. “Zoe took care of you, didn’t she, Avie?”
Ava nodded again, a small smile appearing after her bout of tears.
Zoe pressed a tissue against her knee. “Ava, honey, I don’t have a Band-Aid, but if you hold this tissue here for a minute, we may not need one, okay?”
Ava did as Zoe instructed and leaned against Caleb’s chest.
Caleb looked over his daughter’s head at her. “You know, when you first came into our lives, I thought I’d be the one to rescue you, but you’re constantly coming to our aid.”
Zoe smiled and twisted the lid back on the empty water bottle. “You don’t need to rescue me. Didn’t you hear Pastor Dempsey? I’ve already been rescued by the One who redeemed me. But I do need a friend.”
“You’ve got that.” And more. Much more. But he needed to sort out his conflicting feelings before he admitted that to anyone.
Chapter Eleven
How did a person make amends for taking someone else’s life? Zoe couldn’t bring Kyle back, but if she could get his parents to listen, even for a couple of minutes, maybe they’d see she was not that same person and she was truly sorry for what happened.
After spending time with Sully, the girls and Griffin at the apple orchard yesterday, Zoe wanted nothing more than to ha
ve her son on a full-time basis.
But the Jacobys’ threat of custody terrified her more than anything.
They had the money and would use any means possible to discredit her and make her look unfit. She saw that first hand at her trial.
This time, she wasn’t going down without a fight.
She needed to talk to them, get them to listen to reason.
She drove up the cobblestone drive, passing their small private lake and professionally landscaped acreage, and parked in front of their English Tudor home.
Her legs shook like branches in a windstorm as she rapped on the front door.
After what seemed like eternity, the door opened, and Zoe found herself face-to-face with Marcia Jacoby, who stood in the doorway drying her hands on a dish towel. She paired tan pin-striped walking shorts with a beige silk sleeveless top and tan woven sandals.
The woman’s face contorted into an angry grimace. “What are you doing here?”
Zoe smoothed down the front of her red T-shirt and jeans. “Mrs. Jacoby, I just wanted to come and talk to you—”
“There’s nothing you have to say that I want to hear. Now leave before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing.” She started to shut the door, but Zoe pressed her hand on the front panel, trying to stop her.
“Mrs. Jacoby, please. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what happened to Kyle.”
The door flew open, and Mrs. Jacoby stared at her with her jaw dropped open. Pain flickered in her eyes. “You’re sorry? You think an apology will bring my son back?”
Zoe took a step back and lowered her chin. “No. I know nothing can bring back Kyle. You have to believe—”
Mrs. Jacoby clutched the doorknob and braced her other hand on the door frame. “No, Miss James, I don’t have to believe a word that comes out of your mouth. Ever. You took my only child from me. Do you know how that feels?”
Even the idea caused her pulse to race. “No, not in the way you’ve experienced, but I’m sure I’d be devastated.”
“Of course you would. As I have been for the past six years. With Kyle gone, Davis and I want to raise his son.”
