“Yeah,” Henry told him. “I won’t be able to handle it. I know it. Two, three problems happen at the same time and I’ll lose it.”
“No you won’t.”
“Yes, Joe, I will.” Henry nodded. “I’ve done nothing but think about it since last night. What if I make a wrong decision? What if I screw up and Beginnings gets in trouble. What if . . .”
“What if. What if,” Joe mocked. “I don’t want to hear that shit. You got that? I don’t. Did I or did I not tell you I would help you.”
“Yes.”
“Then I will. I’m not letting you do this blind, Henry,” Joe explained. “And I’m certainly going to help you even after I’m retired so don’t let it stress you out. How far away will I be if there is a problem?”
“Not very?”
“Exactly.” Joe pulled out a cigarette. “Now, why don’t you and I start right now. O.K., tell me where all this pressure seems to be coming from about being a leader and I’ll see if I can help you through it.” He leaned forward with his elbows on the desk in a listening mode.
“Thanks Joe.” Henry said with such relief and he sat up straight. “I think it all started when I was in the fourth grade. See I was chosen to be our art project group leader . . .”
Joe’s head fell forward to the desk.
^^^^
It had to be the sight of Ellen that set Dean’s mind off. More so it was the sight of Ellen talking to Reverend Bob and Dean knew what she was talking about. Ellen smiled. Not good. And Dean had failed to take her seriously. What a bad move. He rummaged through his mind what needed to be said to her, yet every time, since the disagreement hours earlier, that Dean tried to talk to her about it, she switched the subject. When he asked why she did that, Ellen told him that she wouldn’t fight with him about anything and her marriage to Robbie was off limits to him.
It bothered him, but Dean had to wonder if he had placed himself in that position. He made his own bed and he knew it. It was time to change that. Dean started to realize that had he just swallowed his pride, he wouldn’t have choked like he thought he was going to.
Robbie.
If Ellen wouldn’t listen, maybe Robbie would. This was an option Dean was going to exercise.
After making it all the way into town, Dean went all the way back up to the line of utility buildings and all the way to the end to Frank’s office, where he knew Robbie was at.
“Come in,” Robbie called out after Dean’s knock.
Dean opened the door. “Hey. Busy?”
“Nah, come on in.”
Dean walked in closing the door. “How’s the uh . . . lip?”
Robbie pulled at his lip. “Sore. Can you believe Henry?”
“No.” Dean walked up to the desk and sat down before Robbie. “You sure you aren’t busy?”
“I’m going over attack maps of where we were hit so I know where it’s safe for a run. Why? What’s up?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Sure.” Robbie set down the map he held and grabbed a cigarette. “Shoot.”
“It’s about Ellen.”
“O.K.” He lit his cigarette. “What about her.”
“Robbie.” Dean closed his eyes. “I love her. I have loved her for a really long time. We have a family together. A history. I guess . . . I guess what I’m trying to say is, I want to marry her.”
“You had a chance. You turned her down.”
“Yes, I know. I was wrong and I’m coming to you hoping that you can help out. I want to ask you not to marry Ellen.”
Robbie stared at Dean for a long time. “I can’t do that.”
“Robbie, come on. Yes you can.”
“O.K. I can, but I won’t.” Robbie said. “I want to do this.”
“It won’t be real. You know as well as I do as soon as Frank gets home it . . .”
“It will be over yes.” Robbie stated calmly. “But at least I would have had it.”
“What?” Dean was confused.
“Dean, you’ve had Ellen a really long time. What have I had? Who have I had? No one and it doesn’t look like it will happen unless we find a colony of about a hundred women.” Robbie folded his hands and leaned on his desk. “This is my only chance to have this and I don’t want to let it go.”
“So you’ll take my chance.”
“You had your chance.”
“Robbie, I am asking you not to do this.”
“Dean, I’m telling you I am.”
Dean shook his head and stood up. “What about Frank?”
“What about him?”
“How is he going to react to you being married to Ellen?”
“A lot better than he’ll react to her being married to you.”
“You think?” Dean asked. “I don’t. You think he’ll share her with his brother? No and he’ll be pissed, really pissed. Ask yourself how are you going to be in a community this small where you’re at odds with you brother.”
“Won’t happen.”
“You are convinced of that,” Dean said. “Think about it.” Dean walked to the door and stopped. “While you’re at it, think about this. I love her. I’m leaving Beginnings and I don’t know if I’ll even make it back. You, you’ll still be in Beginnings able to pick up the pieces. You’ll be spending time with the kids and Ellen while Frank and I are gone. You’ll be here. Your chance at this? This is my chance too, Robbie. In my time frame, I was never married to her. This is my chance to have that in my memory and it could be the last chance I ever have. Don’t take that from me. I am asking you to think about it. Please. Don’t take that from me.” In the moment of Robbie’s silence, Dean left the office.
^^^^
Binghamton, Alabama
“So you see,” George explained to Frank who was now sitting in a chair. “Your father was killed by these people in Beginnings. They killed him in cold blood because he was trying to start up this world again with me. And these Beginnings’ people are the one who shot at you while you were on your way here. They’ve . . .” George sounded so emotional. “They’ve joined forces with another group and they are stopping the freedom of this country. They are stopping us from growing and from protecting ourselves. My God, we have forces growing overseas now. How long will it be before they want to claim this land to grow food? If we’re a country divided, they walk right in.”
Frank looked so serious as he ran his hand across his goatee. “They killed my father.”
“Shot him, yes.” George nodded.
“The only surviving member of my family was shot.” Frank closed his eyes. “What . . . what exactly do I do for you?”
“You train my men because you’re the best. You train them to fight, to shoot, and to act. In this world, Frank, you’re a pretty tough guy to bring down. In fact, you’re one of the top men in my military now.”
“Really. Am I still a sergeant in this regiment?”
“Um . . . no.” George shook his head. “You’re a colonel.”
Frank whistled. “Wow.” He slowly stood up and walked to the window.
“You are one of the most dedicated men to my cause.” George stood also and walked behind Frank. “You love your country and you want with all your heart to bring it back.”
“I can see me thinking that way.” Frank stared out the window. “Where am I now?”
“In a new camp we set up. Um . . . you and I. We designed it. In fact, we’re just getting it situated now.”
“I suppose that’s why I’m here?”
“Yes.” George stood side by side with Frank. “You see, we just started building the army a little over a year ago. We have so many men to train, but not enough qualified men to train them. So the best forces move out trying to secure our country back. You train those ones. While the rest, well they are pretty pitiful.”
“I’ve never trained a man pitifully,” Frank snapped.
“Not you. Others have. So we decided these men here are going to be the elite force. Instead of you concentrating on building and
training many armies, you decided to train the elite force here.”
“How many men do I have to train here?”
“Three hundred and fifty.”
“A staff? Do I have a staff?” Frank asked. “I’ll need to meet with them and train them.”
“Yes,” George spoke quickly. “And an office. It’s not situated yet, but we’re getting there.”
“Then I’d like to get started right way. No need to wait.”
“Absolutely. As soon as Dr. Morris gives his O.K., we’ll begin.”
“Excellent.” Frank turned from the window. “I’ll get these men trained right for you, George.”
“You’re the man to do it. This is going to be a major focus. We’ve started our labs here and we want this to be a major branch. You’ll be in charge here after I leave.”
“Thank you,” Frank said.
“I’ll let you rest. We’ll visit some more tonight.” George moved to the door. “And Frank, the men are very excited about meeting their new CO. You.”
Frank gave a partial smile and a nod as George left the room. Frank refaced the window, folded his arms with a stern look, and stared back out.
George smiled as he walked from the hospital room. Things were better and seemingly easier than he ever anticipated with Frank. Things were working for George and at that moment, George felt as if he held it all in the palm of his hand.
CHAPTER SIX
Beginnings, Montana
In a quiet moment, as if they were the only two in the social hall, Henry and Ellen huddled in a corner.
“El, tell me I can do this,” Henry whispered.
“You can do this.”
Slowly Henry breathed through his nostrils, looking over Ellen’s head and to the front of the room where Joe and Andrea waited. “I’m a little scared. This is a big responsibility.”
“You can handle it. I have every faith in you.” Ellen laid her hand on his chest.
“You’ll be there if I need you, right?”
“Always Henry.”
Smiling a little, Henry squeezed Ellen’s hand. “I’m glad you are talking to me like this.” He looked up when Robbie approached.
“I take it I didn’t miss anything?” Robbie asked.
Henry pulled back, closed his eyes and shook his head.
Robbie extended his hand. “Henry, I’m sorry we fought this morning.”
Henry shook his hand. “Yeah, me too. I’m sorry too. And I’d better get going up there. They’re ready to start.” He laid his hand on Ellen’s shoulder. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck.” After he walked away, she looked at Robbie. “You guys fought? Is that where . . .” She touched his lips. “Frank will kill you if he finds out Henry nailed you.”
“Yeah, well I would have killed Henry. He was in a fucked up mood.”
Ellen looked back to see Henry sitting at the table. “He’s stressed with Joe announcing the retirement tonight.”
“Still.” Robbie touched his lip. “It’s still swollen.”
“Does it hurt.”
“Nah, I mean, yeah. But I’m tough. Let’s sit down.”
Ellen followed Robbie to the seats. Most people were already seated while others chose to stand.
Ellen wasn’t seated long when Dean sat on the other side of her.
“El,” Dean whispered.
“Hey, Dean.”
“I’d like to talk to you after the meeting. I got Jenny to watch the kids and maybe you and I can be, well, alone. Can you?”
Ellen looked to Robbie. “I don’t know. I don’t think. No.”
“El.”
“Dean. What do you want to talk about?” she asked.
“Us.”
“Then no. O.K.? No.” Ellen crossed her legs and looked away from Dean to Joe who stood at the podium.
Dean sat back in his chair. He may have missed the ball, but he hadn’t struck out.
Joe gripped the edges of the podium as silence hushed over the room. “O.K.” He sniffed once. “There’s something I need to tell all of you this evening. I’ve led this community since we founded it over seven years ago and I have loved every single minute of it. All of you are very important to me. Your lives . Your survival. I know I’m gruff. But . . .” Joe reached up and took off his glasses. He rubbed his eyes. “Right now I’m uh, I’m going through a pretty bad time. I know all of you can’t see it. I don’t let you. But if the truth be known, I’m pretty much dying here. My son . . . my son is gone and a part of me just needs to deal with that right now. So . . . in order to do so, I have to release some of my responsibility. I want to work my division of distribution and runs and . . . and serve on council. Two weeks from today, Henry will take over the leadership position of this community.”
In a room where a pin could have been heard dropping, a sudden rumble of voices erupted.
Joe held up his hand. “I know this is a shock, but I need some time. I really do. I can’t lead you properly if I can’t lead you clearly.”
Jenny raised her hand and then her voice. “Will it be permanent, Joe?”
Joe shrugged. “Let’s see how I do. I’m hoping to return.” He smiled at Henry. “If Henry gives the position back up.” Joe cringed a little as questions came flying at him. He couldn’t make heads or tails out of them. “Let’s . . . . let’s let Henry say something. But before he does, let me just tell you thank you for making my work here something I lived for. Henry?”
Filled with nervousness, Henry switched places at the podium with Joe. “I believe . . .” Henry’s words echoed and he closed his eyes. “I believe this is a sad day for Beginnings. No, in two weeks it will be even sadder. Joe is like our father. We look up to him. We trust him. We depend on him. I was reviewing some of the responsibilities that I would have.” Henry whistled. “I served on council and hadn’t a clue to what all Joe did. Crops? Recycling? Metal, paper . . . if it is a division, Joe over saw it. Now when I was in the ninth grade I had this shop teacher. His name was Mr. Dithers, like the cartoon. Anyhow, I really liked him and he kind of took me under his wing. He was this good teacher. He made me see, though I looked different then the other kids, I wasn’t. He was like a father. He was in charge of after school activities. Well, January after Christmas break, I came back. Mr. Dithers did not. His wife had died and he needed some time. The substitute, yeah, he was good and I learned how to make a lot. He was young and he had Mr. Dithers when he was in school, but he wasn’t Mr. Dithers. No one was or would be. But you know what? Two months later, Mr. Dithers came back. He used a part of his sabbatical to get his head straight. And when he did, he was better than ever. I think, no I know, I’m just the substitute teacher here. Joe won’t be far. He’ll still help me out.” Henry smiled at Joe. “It’s gonna be rough while he’s gone. Adjustment always is, but I want you to know, I’ll do the best I can until Joe comes back. I think I’ll do a good job because I learned from the best. I’ll encourage Joe to do what he needs to do in order to return as leader, because let’s face it, this place just isn’t going to be the same without Joe running us.” Henry stepped back from the podium, faced Joe, and applauded him. When he did, a loud burst of cheers began and the community stood in ovation for Joe.
To Johnny Slagel it was the coolest thing. Something no one even noticed was there, but Johnny did. Popcorn. Johnny labeled Danny Hoi ‘the man’ for bringing it back. Danny stole the dried corn chicken feed and popped it. Johnny sat in the social hall. Most of the crowd had weeded out. He had his legs propped up on the table as he tossed popcorn in the air and caught it with his mouth. He felt each burst kernel smooth against his tongue then he almost choked when it fell into his throat because something else distracted him. A hand gently glided up his upper thigh and to his groin region. Johnny coughed, set down his legs, and looked up. Bev was there. “Fuck.” Johnny stood up. ‘You almost killed me.” He smacked himself in the chest and reached down to grab his drink. He took a long sip.
“I’m sorry.” Bev moved
closer to him. “Let me make it up to you. Are you busy?”
“Nope.”
“Good.” Bev smiled, trickling her hands down his chest. “Wanna go to my place?”
“Um . . .” Johnny placed his hands on his hips and looked around. “Tell you what. You go on, If I’m not there in ten minutes, start without me.” Johnny started walking away and Bev followed him. “Bev, did I start something with you by complimenting you on your legs?”
“If you want to know, yes. I think that’s the first time I really noticed you. You’re so cute Johnny, and strong.”
“Yeah.” Johnny grinned. “But I’m not really interested in you so find someone else.”
“I always get what I want. I want you.”
Johnny laughed. “Guess what? It’s not happening.” Arrogantly, Johnny walked away.
Bev folded her arms and inhaled deeply. She spoke under her breath. “Wanna bet?”
He didn’t have the kids, Jenny did, and Dean spent most of his free time at the social hall that night, talking, watching Ellen, and waiting for an opportunity that just wasn’t coming. Ellen alone. Sipping a drink, something Dean rarely did, he stood up from the table and decided to wait no more. Perhaps he got his courage from the bit of whiskey he consumed. Whatever the reason, Dean decided that the ‘getting closer’ he saw Ellen and Robbie do, and ‘marriage’ was all going to stop if it was the last thing he did.
“El,” Dean called her name softly as he approached her and Robbie.
“Hi Dean.” Ellen smiled as her hand laid on top of Robbie’s which rested on her leg. Robbie and Ellen sat closely together.
“I want to talk to you alone.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“I think you know.” Dean answered.
“If it’s about us. We’re not. Anything else, I’d be happy to.”
“We have to discuss us.”
“No we don’t.” Ellen shook her head.
“El, I have things I want to say to you.”
The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series Page 391
