by Sharon Sala
In the living room, she paused to check her appearance before leaving the house. It was going to raise questions and she was still uncertain what she would say.
The mirror had been Momma’s favorite. It had been a wedding gift from Ellie’s grandparents. They’d died when she was too young to remember them, but it was huge, spanning more than three feet across and four feet long, with a burnished gold frame decorated with bas-relief carvings of ribbons and angels.
When Ellie was little, she’d pretend she was Sleeping Beauty and stand before it, reciting the phrase from Beauty’s story. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all? Once Daddy had heard her and scooped her up into his arms and said she was the fairest.
She wondered what he’d say now.
She looked at herself with a judgmental eye as Sophie had taught her. Her hair was hanging in soft waves, framing her face and hanging just below her shoulders. Her makeup was perfect, as were her nails. The springtime weather had been unusually warm, so she’d chosen a pink linen sundress with a matching jacket and wore white strappy sandals. The only thing wrong with the picture was the bruise on her throat, her swollen eye and purple chin.
Rationally, she knew it would have been smart to stay hidden until she healed and all the bruising had faded, but that wasn’t possible. She had school tomorrow, and six weeks later, she would graduate. She wasn’t going to miss the last six weeks of her education just because her father had lost his mind. She still had to cope with life and she couldn’t do it by hiding.
Bracing herself for the morning ahead, she dug the car keys out of her purse and left the house.
Fifteen minutes later, Ellie sat in the church parking lot, trying to get up the nerve to get out of the car. She imagined Daddy was probably at the house by now and freaking out because she was gone. He would go through her room to see if she’d packed any clothes—to see if she was running away. She didn’t care what he thought. He didn’t know it, but in a way, what had happened to her last night had been freeing. Short of murder, he couldn’t hurt her anymore.
She could see Preacher Ray standing in the doorway like always, shaking hands and greeting his parishioners. Beyond that opening was her redemption. She’d come here with a need for solace. All she had to do was get out and walk in.
Preacher Ray saw her coming up the walk. His first thought was that Ellie Wayne had come alone. He didn’t think she’d ever done that before. The smile was still on his face from the child he had just greeted, but when he saw her condition, it froze. He extended his hand in greeting, just as he did to all who entered, when in reality he wanted to wrap his arms around her.
“Good morning,” Ellie said, and shook his hand firmly.
“Ellie. Child. What happened?”
Ellie paused. There were all kinds of excuses she could have given, but it didn’t seem right to lie to a man of God.
“I’ve been raped.”
“No, no, dear Lord, no.” His eyes filled with tears. “How can I help you?”
“I want you to pray for me.”
He kept looking at her face, imagining what she had endured. “Consider it done.”
“And not to mention what happened to me to anyone else.”
“Of course.”
He assumed she’d already dealt with hospitals and police. It never occurred to him that she’d faced it all alone.
“Where’s your Daddy?”
“Getting a flat fixed.”
The answer was as incongruous as his absence in the face of such a trauma.
Ellie could hear the sounds of approaching footsteps. Unwilling to involve herself in a more in-depth conversation, she headed straight for the pew where she and Daddy always sat—in the spot where the sun came through the Jesus window.
She scooted past a couple on the end of the pew, pretending not to hear their shocked gasps, ignoring the tentative touches and murmurs of concern as she slid into the patch of light.
The news of her condition spread through the congregation in hisses and whispers. Ellie heard them, but couldn’t invest herself in shame when she’d come here to find peace.
Ellie’s car was gone.
It was the first thought that went through Garrett’s mind as he came up the driveway. The second was that she’d run away. He parked in a panic and ran into the house, then down the hall to her room. His note was wadded up on the floor and the door was standing ajar.
“No, no, no.”
He headed for the closet to see what she’d taken. To his relief, her clothes were still there. He moved to the bed and tore off the covers. When he saw the blood spots staining the sheets, his stomach rolled. He’d done that. He’d done that to his precious love.
He went into the bathroom next, looking for clues, and saw that she’d taken a shower, but frowned when he saw the clothes and towel still on the floor. That wasn’t like Ellie. She was always neat, especially after she’d brought Sophie into their world.
He picked everything up and put it all in the hamper, then went back through the house in long anxious strides, looking for anything that would tell him where she’d gone. It occurred to him that she might have had to work, then remembered it was Sunday. The ice cream shop didn’t open until after church.
Church?
His stomach rolled. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t have.
Son of a holy bitch.
He was running when he got to the car, then tore off down the street to see for himself if she had indeed taken herself to church.
He could hear the swell of organ music as he pulled into the parking lot. Services were already in progress. He glanced at his watch. It was after eleven. Maybe he’d jumped the gun. Maybe she wasn’t here after all. And then he saw her car parked in the shade of the great oaks lining the curb and felt like throwing up.
Her eye and lip had been a little swollen when he’d put her in bed around midnight, and there was the beginnings of a faint bruise on her face. Maybe she’d covered it with makeup. Surely she wouldn’t show her face if it was bad.
He thought about going inside to join her, then realized he wasn’t dressed properly—and there was that fear of the unknown. How would she have excused his absence?
Still, it was comforting to know she hadn’t run away, that she was simply in the house of God like all good girls should be.
Relieved that his worst fears had not been true, Garrett decided to go home and make them a good dinner. He would apologize for not believing her and everything would be alright.
Convinced that he’d panicked for nothing, Garrett drove away from the church, unaware Ellie had taken the first step in unraveling their world.
The last notes of organ music still hung in the air as Preacher Ray walked up to the pulpit. Ellie watched him lay his Bible down, but instead of opening it up to a passage upon which he intended to preach, he gripped the sides of the pulpit then looked out into the congregation—straight into her eyes.
All the hair rose on Ellie’s arms. For a moment, it felt as if he was pouring his love and energy into her. She held her breath. Then he looked away and the feeling was gone. A few moments later he began to preach.
Ellie closed her eyes, waiting for the hollow feeling in her belly to go away, but it didn’t happen. She looked down into her lap. The colors that had been there only moments before were gone. The sun must have gone behind a cloud. She tried not to take it as an omen, but nothing was going the way she’d planned.
She’d come to church expecting to be healed in spirit, if not in body, but she was getting mixed signals. Even though she chose not to panic, she wasn’t getting a good feeling about this. Now might be a good time to pray.
God, You know what Daddy did. I wish one of us was dead. Personally, I don’t care which one of us You take. Amen.
After that, she sat quietly, waiting for the sun to come back, but it never did. Even God had turned His face away.
When church was over, she had no option but to walk along the aisle w
ith all the others as they made their way to the exit. She’d known these people all her life. It stood to reason they would be concerned. One after the other, the same question was asked.
“My goodness, Ellie Wayne, what on earth has happened to you? Are you alright?”
And one after the other, she ignored the first part of their question, and answered the last. “No, I’m not.”
By the time she got to her car she was exhausted. The sky was dark and threatening rain and she didn’t feel restored in any sense of the word. Just as she started the engine, the heavens opened. No little drops to signal what was coming—just a sudden downpour. Depression settled over her as she turned on her windshield wipers and started home.
The thought of going back into that house seemed impossible. She’d been shocked to her core by her Daddy’s rage. There was no way for her to know how he was going to react when she got home, but it was something of a relief to realize she didn’t care.
She remembered Momma telling Ellie when she’d become scared of a storm that rain was only angel’s tears. She didn’t put much faith in that being the case, but if it was so, then she would like to think the angels might be crying for her, because she was holding too much hate to do it for herself.
Garrett was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on their meal when he thought he heard the front door open.
“Ellie, is that you?”
Ellie set the umbrella on the covered porch to drip dry and was closing the door behind her when Garrett entered the room.
“Dinner is nearly—”
She turned around.
The words died in the back of Garrett’s throat. His mind went blank.
Ellie took off her muddy shoes at the doorway. “I can’t chew, so unless it’s soup, you’ve wasted your time.”
“Oh shit. Oh, Ellie. I’m sorry. I don’t—”
“Shut up, Daddy. Just shut up. The only thing you’re sorry about is that what you did to me left marks. I’m going to my room to get out of these wet clothes.”
Garrett swayed as if she’d just punched him in the face. “You went to church looking like that.”
She managed to smile, even though it hurt. “Ahh . . . so you did go looking for me. Did you check my room first to see if I’d run away?”
The look on his face gave him away. “Did anyone ask you what . . . did they say any—”
“Preacher Ray asked me what happened.”
Garrett started to shake. “What did you tell him?”
“That I’d been raped.”
Garrett grunted. “No you didn’t.”
“Yes, Daddy, I did. You taught me not to lie. Too bad you didn’t remember that last night. I told the truth then, just like I’m telling it now.”
His mind raced. Should he make a run for it, or stay and face arrest?
Ellie could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out how to handle what she’d told him.
“I didn’t tell him that you did it, but only because he didn’t ask,” Ellie said.
Garrett shuddered, then staggered toward a chair to keep from falling. “What did he say to you?”
“He asked how he could help. I told him to pray for me. I also asked him not to tell what happened.”
Garrett’s head felt like it was going to explode. He had underestimated his daughter in every way. “Oh my God . . . what did the others say? All our friends and neighbors? What must they have thought?”
Ellie threw a shoe. It missed his chin and hit his chest.
“What the hell?”
“You are one sorry son of a bitch. You’re worried about what people are thinking, but you haven’t once asked about me. You didn’t ask me if my breasts hurt where you bit them. You didn’t ask if my lily was still bleeding, or if I could see out of this eye. You are disgusting, and if you ever come near me again I will wait until you are asleep and then I will kill you. I will cut you up into so many little pieces that they’ll have to bury you in a sack.”
She threw her other shoe for punctuation and walked away.
Bile rose at the back of Garrett’s throat. He stood up, but he didn’t follow. She’d made her feelings plain. He retraced his steps into the kitchen and then turned off the stove and got his car keys and jacket. Walmart opened at noon on Sundays and he was going to need a lock for the inside of his door or he’d never be able to close his eyes again.
Chapter Twelve
Being an outcast at school had its advantages. Ellie didn’t have any best friends running up to her on Monday morning asking her what had happened. She didn’t have a boyfriend to have to explain herself to. She didn’t even have the ear of the school counselor who saw her in the hall but kept on walking.
She got her books out of her locker and headed to first hour. And then she got a surprise.
Her homeroom teacher, Mrs. Smith, took one look at her and put her arm around Ellie’s shoulder. “Ellie. What happened? Did you have a wreck over the weekend? Are you alright?”
“No, ma’am, I didn’t have a wreck, but I’m not feeling so great.”
It was obvious to the teacher that Ellie Wayne wasn’t giving out any more information, which didn’t surprise her. She’d known Ellie for years and knew nothing about her other than that her mother was dead and her father worked at Strobel Investments.
Ellie took her seat and opened her book without paying any attention to the page. She just needed to be doing something besides fielding stares.
The boy who sat behind her had never said a word to her all year and yet within seconds of sitting down, he tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey Ellie, uh . . . sorry you got hurt.”
Ellie’s heart skipped a beat. The sympathy was unexpected. She nodded without turning around.
The girl who sat at the desk across from her was one of the popular girls. Her daddy was vice president of a bank and her mother was president of the PTA. They had not exchanged so much as a glance—until today.
From the corner of her eye, Ellie saw the other girl lean toward her. “Ellie . . . are you okay?”
Once again, Ellie nodded, but kept staring at her book. The sympathy was getting to her. If she wasn’t careful, she just might cry, and she’d made a decision years ago that she wasn’t wasting tears unless it was for something that really mattered. She should be able to handle a little sympathy, even if it was unexpected.
All through the day, people she only knew by name kept coming up to her, or stopping her in the hall to speak. She’d expected ridicule, not this. It was ironic that she’d spent all these years in school without being noticed, and now everyone was being nice. It made her bitter. It shouldn’t have taken being raped and beaten to have someone get the manners to just freakin’ say hello.
When school was over, she raced home and then met Sophie in the hall.
Sophie grabbed her heart. “Ellie. Dear child. What on earth happened to you?”
Ellie sighed. “I fell in the shower last night. I’m going to be okay. I promise.”
Sophie was in tears. “I’m so sorry. Bless your heart, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Do you need help getting your clothes off?”
Ellie could only imagine what Sophie would have to say about the bite marks on her breasts, so she quickly rejected the offer. “No, really. I can handle it,” she said. “I don’t have much time before I’m due at work, so I have to hurry. See you later.”
She left Sophie in tears. She hated lying, but if she’d wanted the police in her business, she would have gone to them herself. She knew how it would work. She wasn’t eighteen until next month. The court would take her out of her home and put her in foster care. She’d have to start a new school—the whole shebang. It was better just to let it go, because as soon as she graduated, she was gone.
After changing into her uniform, she headed to Franklin’s Ice Cream Parlor. She worked until closing tonight, which was fine with her. The less time she spent at home, the better.
As soon a
s she got to work, she approached Randy, the manager. Like everyone else who’d seen her today, he was shocked.
“Hey kid, what the hell happened to you?”
“It’s a long, ugly story that you don’t want to hear, believe me.”
“Are you sure you’re up to working? I can call someone to fill in for you?”
“No, no. I’m fine. Just maybe keep me off the register for a while until the worst of this goes away. I don’t see so great out of my swollen eye. I’d be more comfortable filling the orders, if it’s alright with you.”
“You got it, kid.” He started to say more, then looked away, unwilling to get involved in her business.
Satisfied that she wouldn’t have to face too many curious eyes, she put on an apron and got to work.
Tessa came to work an hour later and once again, Ellie had to go through the whole discussion.
“Dang girl, what happened to you?”
Ellie shrugged. “Nothing good.”
Tess frowned. “My face looked like that once. My old man caught me smoking a joint and beat the crap out of me.”
Ellie eyed Tessa curiously. On the outside, they couldn’t have been more different, but it appeared they had more in common than she would have thought. “Really?”
Tessa nodded. “I told him if he ever did it again, I would shoot him dead.”
Ellie shrugged. “It’s a good thing I didn’t have a gun, or I might have used it.”
Tessa was quiet for a bit as she began filling syrup bottles and getting out new paper cups and bowls. When there was a lull in business she sidled up close to Ellie and whispered, “If you’re interested, I know where you can get a gun. Cheap.”
Ellie’s heart skipped a beat. “Where?”
Tessa lowered her voice even more. “This guy I know.”
“How much?”
