Nope. I got nothing. You know, this is all because my blueberry-filled edibles weren’t on a monthly, automatic renewal program.
I began to shift the pestles and mortars toward the center of the coffee table. Honestly, the hand-carved piece of furniture was the centerpiece of the entire one-story cottage. There was a bedroom loft above the kitchen that could be accessed by a lovely spiral staircase, but that didn’t count as another level.
I hadn’t really changed much around the cottage since moving in over two years ago. Nan’s taste in design had been impeccable, and she’d incorporated modern décor with antiques from generations before. It was the coffee table that stole the show, although I had no idea when it had been made by creative hands that had carved the wood with love. The intricate designs were simply timeless, drawing one’s eyes to its presence in the room.
“I might have picked up a copy of the Wicca Book of Spells at Madam Rose’s shop earlier this week,” Heidi revealed with a grimace. She then set her plate on the middle cushion of the couch while holding up a finger on her right hand to prevent a lecture that was already on the tip of my tongue. “Before you say anything, I told her that I had a family member who was interested in herbs. She doesn’t suspect a thing, I promise.”
Oh, yeah! I saw my soulmate walk in the so-called psychic’s shop while I was about to take a morning nap last Tuesday. See? I’m all out of mental antioxidants. This is just dreadful. I think you secretly hate me because of my superior intellect.
“Madam Rose is going to be the death of me,” I muttered underneath my breath as I rested my forehead on my hands. The woman who had opened up a palm and tarot reading shop was based on nothing more than a woman who was really good at reading people and their body language. Somehow, she now had half the town believing that she was an actual psychic. “She’s a problem for another day. Right now, we have to figure out if someone is actually blackmailing my mother. She thought these notes that had been left for her implied that Beetle would be hurt if she didn’t stop the wedding. To me, they’re more of a warning that she’ll be unhappy if she goes through with the wedding.”
I know that I’ll be unhappy. Whoever heard of a vampire marrying a witch? It’s against all things supernatural. One is basically dead, and the other needs the living energy of four elemental powers to perform enchantments and the like. Only dark magic draws on the negative material plane. They are polar opposites.
“I know this is pretty far out there, but do you think Beetle had some sordid affair with another vampire at some point over his very long life?” Heidi asked, leaning back against the couch as she reached for her pizza. “Maybe it’s another supernatural woman who found out that he’s getting married and wants to warn your mother away.”
I’d say Chef Baloney’s assistant or the ex-manager of my doppelgänger would be more likely suspects than someone supernatural, but I can’t be sure without my mental antioxidants. You’ll have to wait until Monday, when my shipment arrives.
“It’s possible,” I responded to both of them while paging through the family grimoire for the right spell. Once I found it, a spark of excitement shot through me. “Unless a witch wrote these notes intended for my mother, we’ll have the answers we seek very shortly. This incantation should literally show us who wrote the messages.”
The front door suddenly slammed open, revealing a distraught Regina Lattice Marigold.
My mother was definitely in rare form, because her black hair that was normally swept up in an elaborate manner had wisps of hair sticking out every which away. She’d lost a bit of color in her cheeks, so the red lipstick that she was sporting seemed all the more colorful. In her hand was another crumpled note.
“This proves that Beetle’s life is in danger,” my mother practically yelled, not bothering to close the door behind her as she basically marched to the coffee table and slammed what one would assume was the latest note onto the wooden surface. “We have no choice but to cancel the wedding!”
Hallelujah! The catnip gods have answered my prayers!
I peered around my mother to find that Leo had been startled by my mother’s abrupt entrance, but he’d recovered quickly enough after hearing her announcement. He was still blinking rather rapidly, but the grin on his face was unmistakable.
I’m just relieved that I don’t have to wear a bowtie, that’s all. Seriously, it has nothing to do with the fact that your mother has opted not to ruin my VVBFF’s life.
“Mrs. M?” Heidi called out her nickname for my mother rather tentatively, seeing as neither one of us had ever witnessed her practically coming apart at the seams. “Why don’t you sit down right here while I go grab us some wine.”
“Wine is good. Make that three,” I replied quickly with a nod of approval before snatching the note off the coffee table. I quickly read the message, breathing a small sigh of relief that it wasn’t as bad as my mother had made it out to be. I mean, the connotation behind the words didn’t have the best of intentions, but at least it didn’t blatantly threaten harm. “Mom, the note basically says that Beetle will regret going through with the wedding once he figures out the truth. What truth? Honestly, that doesn’t sound like a threat to Beetle’s life.”
“I don’t know what truth!” Mom’s response was one of desperation, almost as if she was getting ready to hyperventilate. She really needed that wine that Heidi was currently grabbing from the refrigerator. My favorite wines were the sparkling whites, with a less dry finish. “Maybe someone knows what we are and what we can do, but they aren’t aware that Beetle is a vampire. That would mean it has to be someone from the coven, right? Someone who is doing what they can to stop me from finally having some happiness in my life!”
Fine, fine, fine. You’ve let her ramble on long enough, Raven. What have you done to your mother? Clearly, she’s broken.
Leo definitely had a valid point, because I had never—ever—seen my mother hysterical like this in all my life. She had always been able to maintain a stoic front in the face of adversity, and she always rose to the occasion when her back was pressed against the wall.
Hey, you don’t think that someone snatched the soul out of your mother’s body and replaced it with a melodramatic, paranoid schizophrenic, do you? The Mistress of the Dark that I know would have not only cast a spell to locate the guilty party, but she most likely would have cast a fire hex spell on them to boot. You haven’t spotted any smoking toads about, have you?
“Here, Mrs. M,” Heidi said softly as she returned with the largest wine glass that I owned and practically filled to the rim. “Nurse this while Raven figures things out for you.”
“Mom, there is a simple way for us to figure out who wrote these notes.” I gestured toward all of the components and ingredients laid out before me. “I’m only waiting to begin until Ted returns with the beth root. That’s not an ingredient that I usually keep on hand, but Ted has some remarkable resources. Once I have it, we’ll find out who’s behind this and be able to enjoy your holiday wedding and the festivities to follow.”
I suppose if my stocking is full of blueberry-filled edible treats that I could find it in myself to be somewhat festive. Add on the fact that my supplier might actually be able to dodge a—
“Listen here, you little—”
Mom had twisted on the couch so fast that her wine sloshed over the side and Leo wisely and instantly vanished into thin air. It was evident that my mother’s last nerve had been frayed, and all I could think about was the fact that it was a good thing the wine in her glass hadn’t been red.
“I’ll go and get a dishtowel,” Heidi muttered before she even had a chance to reclaim her seat on the couch.
Is no one worried that I was almost turned into a toad?
Leo had reappeared, but this time on the island in the kitchen where Heidi could give him cuddles of reassurance before grabbing the dishtowel that I always made sure was folded over the handle of the oven.
“Mom, you are—” I stopped my
self from finishing my sentence, because I had basically been going to say that she was being irrational. Such accusation wouldn’t have helped our current situation, though. I counted to ten and then took a different tactic. “Mom, why didn’t you just cast the spell and find out for yourself?”
My mother mumbled something into her glass of wine before taking a healthy gulp. By this time, Heidi had come around the back in order to wipe up what dampness she could from the cushion.
“Can you repeat that loud enough for me to understand?”
“I said that I tried to cast a spell and nothing happened,” Mom exclaimed, finally taking a deep breath now that she’d consumed a bit of her wine. She then cleared her throat before continuing. “Are you happy now?”
I was a lot of things right this moment, but happy wasn’t one of them.
Ditto. I think we hit the trifecta.
“What do you mean that nothing happened?” I inquired, raising myself up on my knees so that I could lean my forearms on the coffee table. “Mom, even I could make something happen when I was first learning the spell. And Heidi, well…”
Oy vey! And you thought I was the one throwing gasoline on the fire. Here you go and break out a flamethrower.
By this time, Heidi had cleaned up what she could and was heading back toward the kitchen. She quickly spun around, making a cutting motion across her throat so that I didn’t accidentally mention Madam Rose.
“Heidi can cast a locator spell, too, and she’s just a hedge witch,” I pointed out, steering the conversation back to the root of the problem. “Mom, you’re giving the person what he or she wants by getting yourself so worked up like this. Sit back, drink your wine, and let us figure out who is behind the letters. Liam can then take it from there.”
“Where is Beetle?” Heidi asked with concern, having grabbed herself a glass of wine, too. She settled back on the couch and then curled her bare feet underneath her to get a bit more comfortable. “Shouldn’t he stay close to you?”
“I’m spending the night here,” Mom revealed with a tone that indicated we should have already known that tidbit of information. “I know it sounds old-fashioned, but Beetle shouldn’t see me the morning of the wedding. He should first lay his beautiful blue gaze upon me when he sees me walking down the aisle.”
What land of catnip are you living in, woman? My supplier won’t be standing anywhere if you’ve gone and left him unprotected from some nutcake! Sweet angel of mercy, what have you done!
Chapter Eight
“Leo, I haven’t gone and done anything. Have your forgotten that my precious Beetle is a vampire?” Mom asked with a frown. “He can certainly take care of himself, but it’s the thought that someone would actually threaten his life to force me into stopping this wedding that has me upset. Who would want us to be unhappy?”
Heidi and I both glanced at Leo, who only huffed at our small shrugs of agreement. Leo had technically been dead set against this wedding taking place from the very beginning, but I was confident that he wouldn’t go around trying to get his way in such a dishonorable manner. If nothing else, Leo was an old-fashioned familiar raised during a time when society believed in the ideals of chivalry.
I’m not even going to defend myself, but I would like to point out that my supplier wouldn’t stand a chance against the almighty coven. What is wrong with the lot of you? Even I can see an amazing opportunity when it’s presented without my mental antioxidants, and so will the coven. Do you really believe that the council wouldn’t figure out a way to capture a vampire? They have many family grimoires at their disposal, and I specifically remember your mother paying a recent visit to one of their members.
“The coven is not behind this,” Mom denied emphatically before looking to me for support. “Right? I mean, we both know that I spoke to Aunt Rowena about my marriage to Beetle, but she wouldn’t interfere. While I agree that she tends to toot her own horn and can be a tad bit selfish, she swore on your grandmother’s grave that she wouldn’t say a word about Beetle being a vampire to anyone.”
I hate to break this to you, but it’s not like my VVBFF is hiding under a rock. I’m not sure I have enough paws for this, but I’ll make do. Are you ready? The list of people who know what my supplier truly is consists of me, Raven, my soulmate, the well-read werewolf librarian, our local grim reaper, two local golems, the card-sharp wizard, and as you just pointed out…the Wicked Witch of Windsor. Oh, and lest we forget the village druid who lives at the edge of town. Then there is—
“I get your point, Leo,” Mom replied sharply before taking another healthy gulp of her wine. “Fine. It looks as if you’re going to go and spend the night with him. If there is any hint of danger, you are to—”
Thankfully, and especially before Leo’s left eye bulged out a bit too far in response to my mother’s demands, a knock came at the front door. I called out for Ted to enter, knowing that it wasn’t someone dangerous. The wrought-iron gate outside had been warded with a protection spell, and it would squeak upon being opened by anyone with nefarious intentions toward occupants of this household.
“Good evening,” Ted greeted with a slight bow after closing the door behind him.
Great. Crayola Head is exactly who we need to join this bizarre conversation. Why can’t we send him over to my VVBFF’s house? Has everyone forgotten that Count Fangs-A-Lot and I don’t exactly get along? I’d hate for your new pet to get put out for the evening.
I wasn’t going to be drawn into another long discussion about the rescued-vampire bat that had turned out to be Beetle’s long-time companion. Leo didn’t like being second fiddle, and Count Cuddles was to Beetle like Leo was to me—extraordinarily special.
You’re trying to get my mind off the fact that Count Fangs-A-Lot is the reason that my VVBFF forgot to reorder my blueberry-filled edible order. It’s not going to work, Raven. Why do you think I’ve passed that responsibility onto you?
I was truly surprised to see that Justine wasn’t with Ted, especially since the two of them were rarely apart in their daily activities. They did everything together, from collecting special components and ingredients to taking strolls around town as Justine enjoyed her very first winter as a golem.
Long story short, Ted was a wax golem, while Justine was a plastic golem.
Nan had dabbled in black magic not only once…but twice. I was pretty sure that there might have been other exceptions, but what I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me. The bottom line was that Nan had wanted a companion for her and Leo, along with someone who could gather necessary components and ingredients for spells that weren’t easy to come by for an ordinary witch.
Nan had definitely not been ordinary, and I enjoyed learning more about her as time went on. Leo’s itsy-bitsy memory problem got in the way sometimes, so I’d learned that patience was definitely required when it came to hearing occasional tidbits regarding our family lineage.
Regardless, Nan had to have something to work with when creating such a golem, and the local wax museum had presented the perfect specimen in the image of Lurch from The Addams Family.
Seriously, it was as if he’d been pulled right from the television set still wearing the suit styled from the 1800s. His oddly tinted blond hair, square features, and awkward smile suited his unique personality. Seeing as he was a golem, his speech was somewhat stilted and could cause the conversation to—
Drag on, Raven, just like you’re doing now. We don’t have time to waste on this. We’re going to need to send Crayola Head over to my VVBFF’s place. I’m fairly sure that wax golems don’t have blood for Count Fangs-A-Lot to feed on, so he’s the better choice to go and stay with my supplier until we have time to figure out this mess that your mother has gotten us into.
“Mom,” I warned her when she went to retaliate. “Leo is right that we should send Ted, but not for the reasons you think.”
I stood up from my favorite burgundy pillow and held out my hands for the beth root that Ted had been able to secure. He
never ceased to amaze me.
“Thank you so much, Ted. How are you this evening?”
“I’m good, Miss Raven.”
“How is the studying going for your driver’s permit?” I asked, still not comfortable with the whole idea of Ted being behind the steering wheel of a car. He’d talked me into it, especially when I realized that he would figure out a way to get his license with or without me. “Are you still okay with waiting until Spring for your driving test?”
Have you seen the idiots out on the roads lately? I have to believe that even this big lump of wax can drive better than those nincompoops. Did I tell you that one of the old biddies almost ran my tail over the other day?
“I’ve got half the book memorized thus far, Miss Raven.”
I glanced at the clock, all of my hopes of picking up my car from the garage being dashed in the wake of my mother’s arrival. Newt had to be wondering where I was, and I needed to call him so that he knew I’d be by first thing in the morning.
Could we please cut to the chase? The longer that this candlewax stick is still here, the longer my VVBFF goes without protection.
“What seems to be Mr. Leo’s problem this evening?”
“You know how someone has been leaving Mom notes regarding her marriage to Beetle? Well, Mom wants to spend the night here. She doesn’t want Beetle to see her until she is walking down the aisle, but she’s also afraid to leave Beetle alone all evening.”
Ted didn’t mean it, but sometimes his words came out with a bit of humor attached to them. Not that anyone other than me and Heidi cracked a smile.
“Did everyone forget the fact that Mr. Beetle is a vampire?”
Time’s ticking away while you get self-enjoyment out of this very dire situation, Raven. Oh, wait. That’s my heart beating against my chest at the fact that you’re not more concerned about the safety of my VVBFF!
Frosty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 15) Page 7
