by Laura Farr
They both disappeared around the corner and I sat wringing my hands in my lap. My leg bounced up and down with nerves, and I couldn’t make it stop. My eyes kept going to the door I knew led to the triage area, and I willed the doctor to walk through and tell me the man I’d loved all my life was going to be okay. I felt a hand on my leg and I turned to see that Grace had sat down next to me.
“You really love him, don’t you?” she said quietly, her eyes fixed on the floor.
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I do…more than anything.”
“And he loves you,” she said, a statement rather than a question. Her eyes met mine and I nodded. “Well he must—he risked his life to save you,” she said with a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my head dropping into my hands. “He went in there for me and I wasn’t even in the stables. It’s my fault he’s in here.”
“No Savannah, it’s not your fault, that’s not what I meant. It was an accident sweetheart.” She sighed and pulled my hands away from my face, forcing me to look at her. “I’m so sorry I’ve been so awful to you. I’ve been selfish.” She shook her head and stood up, pacing in front of me. “I saw you as a threat, someone who would take Josh away from me. After everything he’s been through…” She trailed off.
Frowning, I looked up at her. “Josh has had lots of girlfriends, why am I any different?”
“Because it’s you Savannah.” She smiled. “You’re different than the others. I’ve always known he liked you, I guess I just never realized how much.” Her hands covered her mouth as she tried to hold back a sob. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself and looked at me. “He’s got pictures of you beside his bed, did you know that?”
I nodded as fresh tears slipped down my cheeks. “Oh God, Grace, I can’t lose him.”
She came over, kneeling in front of me. “He’s a fighter Savannah, always has been. You’re not going to lose him.” I closed my eyes as sobs racked my body. I was desperate to believe her, but the longer we waited with no news, the more my hope diminished. I felt her arms go around me and we clung to each other, both of us crying.
We heard the main doors to the emergency department open and looked up as Robert rushed in. “Grace!” he shouted as he ran over to us. Seeing our tears, his face paled.
Grace let go of me and took hold of his hand. “We’re waiting for the doctor to come speak to us. All we know is that he has a head injury and he wasn’t conscious when they brought him in.”
Relief flooded his face and he flopped down into one of the waiting room chairs. “I thought you were going to tell me…” He shook his head, dragging his hand down his face. He turned to me. “Savannah darlin’, are you okay? What happened? Why were you there Grace?”
“There was a fire in the stable. Josh thought I was inside and went in to get me, but I was at the cottage with Grace,” I told him, my eyes flicking to Grace’s.
“Thank God you weren’t in there,” he said, his eyes dropping to my bump. “Why were you at the cottage Grace?” he asked again.
“She left something last night and just stopped by to pick it up,” I said quickly before Grace could speak. I didn’t see the point in telling him why she had really been there. It seemed like the fire had forced her to look at how she had been behaving, and she appeared to be regretting her actions from the past few weeks. Grace caught my eye and gave me a grateful smile. Robert nodded, missing the silent conversation Grace and I were having. Just then, Libby and my mom appeared with a doctor.
The doctor checked me over, checking my blood pressure and pulse. Although he checked the baby’s heartbeat with his stethoscope, he wanted me to go upstairs to maternity so they could scan the baby as a precaution. I told him once I knew Josh was okay, I’d head up there, but for time being, I was staying put. I wasn’t worried about the baby because I was getting plenty of movement, and told him so. He seemed happy with my answer, telling me to speak to reception if anything changed, and they would page him to come back downstairs.
We’d been waiting what seemed like hours for some news on Josh and we still hadn’t been allowed to see my dad, Brody, or Mason, although we knew they were okay. Finally, after another half an hour of waiting, my dad and Mason appeared, and apart from looking exhausted, they weren’t hurt. I watched as Libby threw herself at Mason, clinging to him and sobbing, and my mom embraced my dad, kissing him on the lips.
“Where’s Brody?” she asked in a panic.
“He’s fine, he’s with the girl he rescued,” my dad told her.
“What girl?” she asked in confusion, and he shrugged his shoulders.
“There was a girl about Libby’s age hiding in the stables. When Brody and Josh went in to find Savannah, they found her. She’s stable but unconscious.” I’d forgotten I’d seen him carrying someone out. Just then the door to triage flung open and we all turned to see one of the doctors standing in front of us. I felt Grace reach for my hand and squeeze it tightly.
“Are you the family of Josh Miller?” he asked, looking at Grace and Robert and then at my parents.
“We’re his parents,” Robert replied, stepping forward.
He nodded and gestured for them to sit down. Grace was still holding my hand and she guided me to sit down next to her. “I’m Dr. Green. I’ve been with Josh since he was brought in and he’s stable, but critical. It was touch and go for a while. He’s suffering from severe smoke inhalation and he’s still unconscious. We’ve intubated him to give his lungs a chance to recover, so at the moment the machines are breathing for him.” I gasped and Grace put her arm around me. My mom sat the other side of me, her hand on my leg. “The wound to his head wasn’t as bad as we first thought, and it’s only superficial, so we aren’t too worried about that. The main concern is his breathing, and the smoke inhalation.”
“Is he going to be okay?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“We’re doing everything we can for him. We’ll keep him intubated overnight, and we don’t know yet when he’ll wake up.”
“Can we see him?” Grace asked, her voice shaking.
The doctor nodded and stood up. “Family only at the moment, and only two at a time. He’s being moved to the ICU right now, and one of the nurses will come get you when he’s settled.”
“Thank you Dr. Green,” Robert said, reaching out to shake the doctor’s hand. He nodded and gave him a small smile before disappearing back through the door into triage.
“They aren’t going to let me see him,” I cried, panic swirling inside me. “I’m not family!”
“Yes you are Savannah—you’re his wife,” Grace said forcefully. “He loves you and he needs to hear your voice. He needs to know you’re okay and that he needs to fight.”
I flung my arms around her and held her tight. “Thank you,” I said over and over. I felt someone tap my shoulder, and turning around, I saw Libby holding out her wedding ring.
“Put this on, no one will question you then.” She reached for my hand and slid the ring onto my ring finger.
The door behind us opened again and a nurse came into the waiting area. “You can see Josh now, just two at a time.”
Robert gestured for Grace and me to follow her. “You two go first,” he told us with a nod. I kissed him on the cheek as I passed him and we followed the nurse down a long hallway.
She came to a stop outside a closed door. “This is Josh’s room. There are a lot of wires and machines around him, try not to be too alarmed. They’re all there to help him.” A wave of nausea washed over me and I felt my legs shake.
Grace took my hand again and squeezed it tightly. “Ready?” she asked. I nodded even though I wasn’t, and she turned and pushed the door open.
My heart was pounding as I followed Grace into Josh’s room. The curtain was partially pulled around him and I could hear the beeping and whirring of all the machines. Taking a deep breath, I dropped Grace’s hand and walked around the curtain. My hand flew to my mouth and fresh tears tracked do
wn my face as I looked at him lying in the hospital bed. A tube was coming out of his mouth and there was a drip in the back of his hand. His head was bandaged and there was still black from the smoke on his face. He was wearing a hospital gown, and the sheets were tucked up around his chest.
There was a chair to the side of the bed and when I glanced at Grace, she motioned for me to sit down. Her face was pale and I watched as she made her way around to the other side of the bed, picking his hand up in hers. Standing up, I leaned over him. Brushing a piece of hair off his forehead, I bent my head and brushed my lips across his cheek.
“Hi baby,” I whispered. “It’s me, please wake up.” I watched his closed eyes, willing them to open. He looked like he was sleeping, and I supposed in a way he was, it was just a sleep no one knew when he would wake up from. I sat back down and held his hand, my thumb stroking over his skin. The machines beeped around him and the ventilator that was breathing for him made regular whooshing sounds as it forced air into his damaged lungs.
After a while of sitting in silence, a nurse came in to check on his vitals, and Grace left so Robert could come see him.
“You can talk to him,” the nurse said kindly as she wrote down his blood pressure reading on a chart at the end of his bed. “He might be able to hear you. Are you his wife?” she asked as I saw her looking at Libby’s ring on my finger. I nodded and she smiled. “Your wife is here Josh,” she said, looking up at him. “It looks to me like you have a very good reason to wake up, and pretty soon as well—I’m guessing she’s not going to be too happy if you miss the birth of your baby.” She smiled over at me and I burst into tears. “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you honey,” she said, coming over and putting her arm around me.
I shook my head. “You didn’t, I’m just all over the place,” I told her between sobs.
“That’s understandable. Maybe you should try to get some rest—you look exhausted, and you have to look after yourself,” she said, her eyes sliding to my bump.
“I can’t leave him,” I said adamantly.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret: that chair you’re sitting on, it reclines into a bed. I’m sure I can find you a pillow and a blanket,” she told me with a wink.
“Thank you,” I said sincerely as she nodded and left the room. Turning back to Josh, I squeezed his hand. “Please wake up, I need you—we both need you.” My hand dropped to my bump, and I smiled as I felt the baby move. “The baby’s kicking,” I told him, lifting his lifeless hand and placing it where the baby was moving. “See, I’m not the only one who wants you to wake up. Please wake up, please,” I begged, watching for signs of life but getting none.
The rest of the night crept by slowly. The kind nurse had returned with a pillow and a blanket, setting the chair up for me at the side of the bed. It was pulled close enough to Josh that I could still hold his hand, and I managed to get a couple of hours of broken sleep. The nurse had also allowed both Robert and Grace to stay, and they sat on the opposite side of the bed. Grace held his hand and Robert talked to him on and off about work and the Dallas Cowboys, anything that might encourage him to wake up. The nursing staff came in and out throughout the night, checking on him, but there was no change. My heart felt heavy, and I was desperate to see him smile at me again.
As the morning light began to filter through the blinds, I stretched my arms and yawned. My back was killing me and I climbed off the chair, leaning over to kiss Josh’s cheek before I padded toward the door in search of a bathroom. I didn’t want to leave Josh even for a minute, but I had to pee. Glancing over my shoulder at Grace and Robert, I saw that they had fallen asleep on each other, Josh’s hand still encased in Grace’s. If I was quick, I could be back before they woke up.
As I opened the door into the hallway, I saw Brody lying on a row of chairs outside the room, his long legs curled up so his body could fit across.
“Brody?” I asked, gently shaking his shoulder.
His eyes flew open and he stood up. “Savannah!” he exclaimed. “Is he awake?” I shook my head, my eyes dropping to the floor. “Hey, look at me,” he said gently. I slowly raised my eyes to his and he gave me a small smile. “He’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that Brody,” I said, my voice breaking.
“I know he loves you, and if he can come back to you, he will.” He paused and pulled me into his arms. “Don’t give up on him Sav, he needs you,” he said quietly before kissing me on the head.
“I can’t give up on him Brody, we need him too. I don’t want to live without him,” I said as tears rolled down my cheeks. Composing myself, I took a step back and looked him up and down. “Are you okay? I’m sorry you went in there after me.”
He waved his hand. “I’m fine, just needed some oxygen, and I cut my hand,” he said, holding up his bandaged hand, which I hadn’t noticed before.
“Thank God.” I was relieved no one else was hurt because of me. “Did Mom and Dad go home?”
“Yes, and Mason and Lib. They’re all coming back this morning though.” I nodded my head and glanced back toward Josh’s room. “Get back to him Sav,” Brody said, his eyes following where I was looking. “I’m okay out here until Mom and Dad arrive. I’m going to go check on the girl anyway.”
“Is she okay? Who is she?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. She was in one of the empty stalls, and she was already unconscious when I found her. The nurse wouldn’t let me stay with her overnight so I sat out here…” He trailed off and sighed, dragging his hand through his hair. “I think she’s in trouble Sav. There are bruises and cuts that didn’t come from the fire. I feel like I need to help her.”
I reached up and hugged him. “You’re a good man Brody Parker. Go sit with her—she’ll be scared if she wakes up alone.”
“You’ll be okay?” he asked, his voice full of concern. I nodded, not wanting him to worry about me. He kissed me on the cheek and walked off down the hall. “I’ll come check on you and Josh in a bit,” he called over his shoulder.
After quickly finding a bathroom, I used the facilities and raced back to Josh’s room, only to find everything how I’d left it—Grace and Robert still asleep, Josh still motionless in the bed. Sighing, I sat down beside him and waited, his hand encased in mine.
The rest of the morning passed by in a blur of nurses, doctors, and visitors. My parents arrived and were allowed to visit Josh. My mom fussed over me and tried to make me leave the room to get a sandwich from the cafeteria, but I of course refused. Just after midday, the doctor came in and asked us all to leave the room while they removed the breathing tube. Reluctantly, I stepped outside and nervously paced up and down the hallway. After what felt like forever, the doctor called us back in and I went straight back to his side, picking up his hand.
“We’ve removed the breathing tube and he’s breathing on his own. There is no reason he shouldn’t wake up, it’s just a waiting game now. His vitals are good and his lungs sound clear,” the doctor said. “Talk to him, he can probably hear you.”
“Thank you,” Grace said, throwing her arms around Robert, the relief evident in her voice.
The doctor nodded and walked to the door. “Press the buzzer when he wakes up and I’ll be right in,” he said before leaving the room.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I promptly burst into tears. My dad was sitting next to me and his arm went around my shoulder. “It’s okay sweetheart, he’s going to be okay.”
I nodded, wiping my eyes. “I know.”
“I brought you some fresh clothes and I spoke to the nurse—there’s a room down the hall where you can freshen up. Why don’t you take a break Savannah? Have a shower and get something to eat?” my mom asked. I knew she was concerned about me, but I didn’t want to leave Josh. What if he woke up and I wasn’t there?
“Mom,” I began to say, before being interrupted by Grace.
“I think your mom is right Savannah. Take a shower, grab a sandwich. Josh
is going to want you to take care of that baby you’re carrying.”
“But what if he wakes up?” I stuttered, feeling like they were ganging up on me.
“Then we’ll come get you sweetie, I promise. Please Savannah, I’m worried about you,” my mom begged.
Sighing, I rubbed my hand down my face. “Okay…” I said hesitantly. “But if he wakes up…”
“You’ll be the first know,” she promised.
I nodded and stood up, kissing Josh on the lips now that the tube was gone. “I’ll be right back baby,” I whispered against his lips. “I love you.”
After a quick shower, I left my hair wet, piling it on top of my head in a messy bun. Managing to find a vending machine on the same floor as Josh’s room, I grabbed a few random snacks and quickly walked down the hall, swinging the door to Josh’s room open.
“Savannah!” my mom exclaimed. “You’ve only been gone 10 minutes—I wanted you to have a real break.”
“I don’t want a break!” I shouted. “I want to be here with Josh. Would you sit in the cafeteria if it was Dad lying here?” I asked, my hands on my hips.
“Hey, what’s with all the shouting?” Josh croaked from behind me.
“Josh!” I cried, moving to the side of the bed and throwing my arms around him. I pulled away slightly and kissed his lips. “Are you okay?” I asked, my eyes wide as I waited for him to answer.
“I am now,” he rasped, reaching up to kiss me again. “Are you okay? I couldn’t find you in the stables—is the baby okay?” he rushed out, his hands reaching for my bump. His voice was scratchy and I knew it must be hurting him to speak. Reaching for his jug of water, I poured him a glass and handed it to him.
“We’re both fine. I wasn’t in the stables, I’m so sorry you went in there thinking I was.”
He took a long swig of the water, the relief evident on his face. “Don’t be sorry, I’m just glad you weren’t in there.” He pulled me to him again and kissed me, not caring that the room was full of people. “I love you,” he said quietly against my lips.
