by Jayna King
Chapter 5
Maria
There was something about Moses that unsettled me. I was used to doing all sorts of intimate things with men, but I wasn't used to being looked at like I was a real person. I've had years of experience sharing my body with men, and the one lesson that I've learned is that the best way to protect yourself is not to care. It's a job. The person you're having sex with doesn't care about you. You're just a hole to fuck.
It's harder when a man treats you like something other than a whore.
Something about Moses felt dangerous to me, like he could see through the mask that I wore for my customers. I knew that I needed to be careful. He was a job. He was a way to get Luis to pay me enough money to feed my daughter. Nothing more.
But he had called me beautiful, and that bothered me. You don't have to flatter a whore. And he had called me beautiful. I had to forget it and move on.
I led him back to the bedroom after he'd eaten his fill, and I was counting my blessings that I hadn't been paired up with the older man. I've seen it all, but shoving you hand up a whore's skirt at the dinner table was a little vulgar, even for Lupita's. I opened the door for Moses and followed him inside, trying my best to keep myself calm and suppress the little flutter of anticipation that I felt deep in my belly. I wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, but part of me was looking forward to the rest of the evening. It wasn't very often that I got a customer who looked like Moses -- all hard muscles, and well-endowed, too.
"Encantada," he said quietly as I closed the door. "Beautiful Encantada."
He said my whore's name reverently, like it was a prayer, and I wished, just for a second, that I could hear my real name on his lips. The way he whispered my name reinforced the fact that he wasn't my lover. I was a whore, and it was my job to satisfy him.
"Yes, Moses?" I answered. "What is your pleasure?"
He looked around the room and pointed to one of the two chairs. "I want you to sit and have a drink with me."
I took a step toward the table that held the bottle and the glasses, and Moses reached out, putting his hand on my arm and stopping me in my tracks. "Let me," he said.
I felt almost panicked, which I know sounds ridiculous. I was in the room to let this guy do whatever he wanted with me, and I felt freaked out because he wanted to pour me a glass of tequila. This wasn't how the evening was supposed to go.
"Here, beautiful Encantada. I don't guess you have many people bringing you drinks, do you?"
I shook my head because I couldn't think of a single thing to say.
Moses took the chair beside the bed on the other side of the room. "You don't look comfortable. Is there something you want?"
I took a deep breath. I had to figure out a way to get back into my Encantada persona. "All that I want is for you to be pleased. What would you like?"
"I would like to get to know you. I would like to talk for a while."
I opened my mouth, couldn't think of anything to say, realized that I probably looked like a fool, and closed my mouth again. I was about to get up and try to figure out a way to distract him from his conversational goal, when there was a knock at the door. Though I was surprised, I was also relieved. I figured it was one of his friends, perhaps coming in search of a foursome. I stood up in a hurry and went to the door to answer it.
It was one of the cooks from downstairs.
"Nando? What are you doing up here?" He shouldn't have come upstairs, unless something out of the ordinary was going on.
"Encantada, I am sorry to disturb you, but can I come in?"
I looked at him in horror. "I have a customer inside. Let's step out."
"No, no," he said, looking up and down the hallway, clearly afraid of being seen. "I'm not supposed to be up here, but I have to talk to you."
I turned back to Moses, knowing that if Luis happened to see Nando, that he'd be out of a job instantly. "Do you mind if he comes in for just a moment. I promise it won't take long."
"Of course," Moses said, standing up. "Bring him in."
Nando came inside and I closed the door behind him. "What is going on. What's wrong?"
"It's your neighbor, Gabriela. She's downstairs."
I felt the blood drain from my face as fear washed over me. "Nadia," I whispered, barely able to form the words.
"She's sick, and Gabriela thinks you should go to her."
I turned to face Moses, knowing that the next minute could determine my fate. Luis would never let me leave a customer who still wanted my services. I had to choose between my job and my daughter, and I knew Nadia would be my choice, whatever the consequences.
"Who is Nadia?" he asked, seeing that I couldn't string any words together to explain.
"She is my daughter," I answered.
"You must go, then, if she's sick."
"But Luis will not be pleased if I leave you. He is not a kind man when he's angry."
Moses reached out and took hold of my arms. "Encantada, you must go to your daughter if she needs you. Luis doesn't have to know."
"But he will have to find you another woman."
"No, he won't," Moses said, walking over to his bag and pulling out clean socks. He sat down on the bed, put the socks on and laced up his boots, before he stood up and walked over to me and Nando. "I'll go with you. These streets can't be safe for a beautiful woman alone at night."
"No, no," I protested, panic flooding me. "You can't go with me. Luis will kill me, Moses. He will kill me."
"Not if he doesn't know," he said with a smile that made it look almost like he was enjoying himself. "It's Nando, right?" he asked the cook, who nodded his assent. "There a back stairway?"
Nando nodded again. "Si, señor. That is the way I came up."
"Did anyone see you come upstairs?" Moses asked.
"No, señor. I was very careful."
"Then let's go. I'll go with you, and we'll make sure your daughter is okay. Ready Encantada?" He held out his hand to me, and I couldn't do anything other than take it.
***
I sat at the edge of my bed and smoothed Nadia's sweat-dampened hair from her forehead before folding a wet cloth and draping it across her damp skin.
"Looks like her fever's pretty high," Moses said from the other side of the bed.
He was so tall that he looked enormous in my little bedroom. I realized that I'd never -- not in the ten years that Nadia and I had lived in the apartment -- never once had a man in my bedroom. I'd certainly serviced many men, but had never had a lover, not since before Nadia was born.
"It is," I agreed.
"Does she need a doctor?" he asked, looking a little restless.
"I think she will be fine until the morning. If her fever hasn't broken by then, I'll take her to a clinic."
"Are you sure?" he asked, starting to pace the floor of the small room.
"No, but I think she will be okay. Sometimes, you have to go with your instincts, and I think that her fever will pass."
"How can you just sit there?" he asked. "Don't you want to do something?"
His nervous energy was starting to make me uncomfortable. "Moses, just go back to Lupita's. This is no way for you to spend your visit to Mexico. Luis will find you another woman to entertain you."
He stopped pacing. "I'm not bored, Encantada. I just hate that there's not anything I can do to make her better." He studied me for a moment, as if he'd seen something unexpected in my reaction. "Encantada isn't your real name, is it?" he asked.
I looked away, uncomfortable meeting his gaze, and unsettled by hearing my whore's name in my own bedroom. I fiddled with the covers over Nadia's chest, and I refolded them so that they were straight and even. When I'd settled myself, I answered him, still looking at my daughter, rather than up at the man who'd asked the question. "My name is Maria," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I stood up from the bed and looked at him. "She is asleep. Let's go out into the living room." I turned and walked out of the room, sure that he would follow me.
I went to the refrigerator. "Cerveza?" I asked.
"Sure. Thanks."
I handed him the beer and sat down at one end of the couch, indicating that he should sit as well. "This isn't exactly the evening you had planned, is it, Moses?"
He laughed quietly and took a drink of the beer, before sitting down at the other end of the couch. "Not exactly. Maria." He paused and looked at me. "Why the different name?"
I hesitated to answer. He was a man who visited prostitutes, and I was pretty sure he didn't want to think about the ways in which the profession consumed the souls of the women unfortunate enough to be ensnared by it. "It's a long story," I said, deciding to evade his question.
"I'm in no hurry," he said, leaning back and stretching his long legs out across the rug.
I decided to be honest. "Moses, I don't usually have conversations like this with my customers. I do what they want, but there are things that I keep private."
He studied me. "You're an interesting woman, Maria. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I wish I hadn't met you as a customer. Would you treat me differently if I were a friend?"
"I don't have any male friends. I have my job, and I have my daughter. There is no room for anything else."
"But you're gorgeous," he said, sitting up straighter. "You don't have a boyfriend?"
It was funny. I didn't think he was coming on to me or flattering me. He seemed genuinely surprised that I didn't have a man in my life. "Moses, I am a whore. I have sex with men because Luis pays me to. I don't have time or energy for a boyfriend."
He shook his head. "That, beautiful Maria, is a shame."
"Maybe so, but that's the way it is." I stood up. "I think I'll have a beer, too."
Moses watched me cross the room, and I could tell that he found me desirable, but he made no move to initiate anything.
"Maria?" he said, after I'd returned with my drink. "Can we start over? As friends?"
I snorted, nearly spitting out my beer. "Moses, I've had your cock in my mouth. There's no going back to friends after that, I don't think."
He smiled, and his eyes lit up with amusement and maybe a little desire. "Oh, I remember. I don't think I'll ever forget. And I'll be honest," he said, reaching out to cover one of my hands with his. "I would love to put my cock in your mouth again, but I want to do it because you want me to, not because you're being paid to do it."
I was confused. Men paid for sex, not because they couldn't get it elsewhere, but because they got off on knowing that they and their money could force women to do things. I knew all about power and sex, and how that equation was always balanced on the man's side. Women always lose that battle.
"You say that, but you showed up tonight to fuck a whore." I tried to keep the anger out of my voice, but I don't think I was entirely successful.
He leaned back again. "You're right. I did. But I didn't know that I would meet someone like you."
"What do you mean, someone like me?" I asked.
"Someone who isn't just beautiful, but is graceful, kind, and is a loving mother. I could never think of you as a whore again, Maria, not after seeing you care for your daughter. She looks like you, and I can't even stand to think of another man treating you like a whore when I know you differently."
"You don't know me at all, Moses. I don't know what you want from me, but you should go. Go back to your life and leave me to mine."
Moses moved closer to me on the couch. "Not a chance. I'm not leaving you. Maria, it's clear that you're unhappy working for Luis. I could see it every time I called you by the wrong name. You need help, and I'm going to help you."
I stood up, brushing away his hand that reached for mine. "Help me do what? Leave Luis? You don't understand. I have a place to live because of him. I can send my daughter to a private school because of him. Nadia will have a better life than mine because of him."
"Maria, you can have all of those things and never have to prostitute yourself for Luis again." He stood up and walked toward me, grabbing both of my hands before I could pull away. "Maria, I know I just met you, but I see something in you that calls out to me. I think I met you tonight for a reason. I'm going to help you and Nadia. I want to be your friend, and more."
I looked up at him, seeing how dangerous his blue eyes could be, daring me to take him at his word and trust this man I'd just met. He pulled me closer, and I was afraid he'd try to kiss me. I never kissed customers. Ever. It was the only thing I'd sworn to keep for myself, to give away only when I wanted to. I kissed my daughter, and I didn't kiss men. I'd never met one I'd wanted to.
But he didn't intend to kiss me. He pulled me into his arms and wrapped me up, pressing me against his chest and resting his chin on the top of my head. I stood rigid at first, unwilling to relax into his arms, trying to fight the desire to let someone take care of me for the first time in my life. I tried to pull away, and he held me there, rock hard, unwilling to let me go. We stood in the center of the living room for what felt like an eternity, I made myself calm down a little ... stopped trying to think of a way to escape his embrace, and when I did, I rested my head against his chest. I began to hear his heartbeat, and I let its rhythm persuade me to relax. All I could hear was his heartbeat, steady and strong, and I thought -- just for an instant -- that maybe Moses was for real.
Maybe he could help me. Maybe he could offer Nadia more hope than I'd ever be able to give her on my own. Maybe I could escape the trap that Luis had snared me in all those years ago.
I relaxed and let my body settle in next to his. Moses responded by wrapping his arms even tighter around me, making me feel not only like I was someone special, but also that he could be trusted to be strong when I needed him to be. We stayed where we were for a few more minutes, before Moses released me. I felt calmer and more relaxed than I could remember feeling in a long time, even though I had a sick little girl in the next room.
"Maria," Moses said softly, taking my hands in his once again. "I'm going to help you."
I looked up at him, his blue eyes holding more promise and hope than I'd ever dared to dream of, and I nodded. "Okay."
Chapter 6
Moses
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I wasn't quite sure why I woke up with a smile on my face, and then I opened my eyes. I saw the sun shining in through the windows of Maria's living room, and I remembered holding her in my arms the night before. I couldn't put my finger on what had happened to me, but Maria aroused in me a fierce desire to protect both her and her daughter, and I knew that something inside me had changed. I sat up on the couch and rubbed my face, trying to clear my head of the unfamiliar emotions and figure out my plan for the day.
"Oh!"
The sound of a young woman's shock startled me from my thoughts.
"Who are you?" Nadia asked, peering around from the bedroom door.
"I'm Moses. I'm a friend of your mother's."
She didn't look like she entirely believed me. "Mama doesn't have boyfriends."
"I'm not a boyfriend, Nadia. Just a friend."
"You know my name."
It wasn't a question, but I decided to treat it as if it had been one. "I do. I came with your mother to pick you up last night from Gabriela's. You were asleep, so you don't remember."
"I felt so awful last night. I didn't want Gabriela to go get Mama, because I know we need the money, but Gabriela insisted."
"It's a good thing she did. Your mama tried to wake you up and couldn't. I'm surprised you're even out of bed this morning."
"I feel much better. I'm actually hungry," she said with a little smile. "Would you like some coffee?" she asked.
"That sounds amazing. Is your mother still asleep?" I sat up on the couch, and I could see Nadia looking at the ink that was visible on my arms.
"Yes. She must have been up late last night. She's usually the first one up, even if she's worked late."
"We were up pretty late talking. We should let her sleep." It occurred
to me that I was supposed to go with Joker and Zeno to go meet Don Roberto at some point this morning. "Do you know what time it is?"
Nadia walked into the kitchen and looked at the clock. "It's seven thirty."
"Oh, good. Still early." I stood up, and I saw Nadia's eyes widen as she saw how tall I was. I decided to give her some space. "Mind if I use your bathroom?"
"No," she answered, getting a can of coffee out of the cabinet. "It's just through the bedroom."
"Thanks," I said as I headed into Maria's room.
She was on her side, hands tucked beneath her pillow, looking like a little girl without the revealing clothes and lipstick of the night before. Her dark, curly hair covered her pillow, and I thought about the stories she'd told me as we talked well into the early morning. I thought about her father -- the black man she'd never met, but whose blood had marked her as different from other children in her town. I thought about her mother's "uncles," and I felt sorry for the young girl who'd finally decided that she had to escape. But mostly, I thought about that young girl arriving in Juarez, only to be raped by Luis and two other of his men, held hostage and raped each night until she became pregnant by one of them. She never knew who the father was, but she knew that she couldn't leave with a child in her belly.
The men had known what they were doing, of course. Catholic women were unlikely to have abortions, and if you could hold the welfare of a child over its mother, you owned her for life. Just like Luis owned Maria.
"Not for long," I whispered, as I looked at Maria, beautiful even in her sleep. "Not for long."
I smelled coffee as I came out of the bedroom, refreshed after having splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth with my finger. Better than nothing.
