by Jayna King
"I don't know how long I knelt there, hands on Nadia's body, but the clatter of the gate into my little courtyard startled me from my catatonic state.
“Moses walked through the gate, and as soon as he saw us, he knew what had happened. I could see the horror and the understanding in his face. I'm sure he spoke to me as he came to kneel beside me, tears in his own eyes, but I don't remember what he said. I don't think I was capable of hearing anything at that point.
“All I remember now is that I told him to leave. I told him that I never wanted to see him again. I think I told him that everything had been his fault, and that if he had never come home with me from Lupita's, that I would still have my daughter. I guess what I said was probably true, but in hindsight, blaming Moses wasn't entirely fair. If he hadn't come into my life, Nadia would probably still be alive, but she would be living the same life that I had -- the one I had never wanted and certainly didn't want for her."
Luke and Krystal looked dumbfounded, and I could see tears shining in Krystal's eyes. "I know now that it wasn't really Moses' fault, that he'd only been trying to help, but I was so angry that I didn't even care how badly I hurt him. I told him to leave and never, ever come back. I never saw him again."
The couple looked at one another, and I could see that they struggled to find words, worked to think of anything that they could say that might make things better, but we all knew that nothing would help. My daughter was dead, and nothing would ever change that or make it right. They lingered a while longer, saying things that were considerate and kind, and when they left, I felt relieved.
Talking about Moses and Nadia made the pain feel fresh again, and I tried every day to numb that pain. I did my job, mostly tending bar at Lupita's these days, since Luis would rarely trust me if I was out of his sight. Tending bar was fine. I hated it less than fucking men for money, and I knew that there was no escape for me. Hope was dangerous, and it was a luxury I couldn't afford. I didn't let myself imagine what life could have been like if we'd made it out of town in Moses' rental car that night -- all three of us safe and sound.
I almost regretted giving Luke the letters that Moses had sent me, along with the picture of me holding my newborn daughter in my arms, but he'd convinced me that he needed them to right the wrongs that the Savage Sons had done, including the things they'd done in Mexico. Moses' letters had been painful, and while I'd never written a single letter in return, I'd read every one that he'd sent. He'd explained that he still hoped to free me from the cartel, and he'd told me about the deals he'd made with the FBI and the DEA. When the letters had stopped arriving in May, I'd assumed that Moses had met someone new and had forgotten about me.
He hadn't forgotten me, though, and the news of his death had just been another sad page in the story of my life. Everything I'd ever loved -- or might have loved -- was gone. Luke and Krystal had promised me that they'd try to get me out of Mexico if I wanted to leave, but I didn't believe them. I'd given them my address, and they had my phone number, but I never expected to hear from them again.
Happy endings don't exist for women like me.
Chapter 12
Luke
Part Two - Sunday, October 6, 2013
Standing in front of the mirror, I studied my reflection. I thought about shaving, and I decided that walking into church all neat and clean-shaven might not convey the right image. I already had enough of a mountain to climb in facing my brothers. I couldn't afford to alienate them any more than I had when I set up Joker to be arrested. I'd shrugged off Tanner's offers to have some of her associates waiting outside in case I needed help during the meeting of the Savage Sons, but I knew that there was no guarantee that I'd live to see the sun set that day. I was taking a risk in attending the meeting, but I knew that I had to at least make the attempt to tell my brothers what I'd learned in Mexico -- to try to explain why I'd done what I had. I wasn't sure they'd listen, but I had to give it a shot.
I pulled on a dark gray, long-sleeved t-shirt, and I picked up my cut. It felt heavier than it usually did, and I think it must have been the weight of everything I'd done, the decisions I'd made that affected the lives of everyone around me -- my mother, my fiancée, my brothers in the Savage Sons, and most of all, my father. I ran my hands over the rocker on the back, feeling the individual stitches that attached the patch to the black leather. Joker had told me that Sable had sewn the patches on herself, and I wondered how she had been handling the mess I'd made of her life in the last few days.
Shrugging into my cut, I walked over to the bed and looked down at Krystal. "Didn't mean to wake you, babe."
She stretched, revealing glimpses of skin I'd gotten to know so well and that I really wanted to explore again, rather than going to a meeting with a bunch of guys who wanted to kill me.
"Don't be," she said. "I needed to get up early today, anyway. I have some schoolwork I need to do, and then I'm going to stop by and see your mother."
"Does she know you're coming?" I asked, surprised.
"Not yet. I'm going to text her and let her know."
"She might not be up to company, babe."
"She needs it, whether she knows it or not. Don't worry about me. I can handle Sable."
I bent down and kissed her, harder than I'd intended to, probably because I was worried that I'd never see her again. "You're an amazing woman, Krystal."
"And you're a lucky man to have me," she said, throwing back the sheets and getting up. "Have time for a cup of coffee before you leave?" she asked.
"Absolutely," I answered. "I'll go make it."
When she joined me in the kitchen, I saw that she'd changed into faded jeans and a thin black sweater that did little to conceal the delicious curves that I was dying to lose myself in.
"You ready?" she asked, having no need to explain what she was talking about.
"Sure am," putting false confidence into my voice. "Once Sally and the guys hear Maria's story, there's no way they can be pissed at me for what I did. "Joker had to pay for his sins, and as his son, I was the man to make that happen."
"You're a good man, Luke Callaway."
We sat in front of the fireplace, gas fire burning to take the chill off the early fall morning, and I hoped that I would be able to spend many more years in exactly the same spot. I took the last swig of my coffee and stood up.
"I need to hit the road," I said, holding out my hand for Krystal's empty coffee mug. I put both mugs in the dishwasher and returned to Krystal. "Kiss me."
She stood up, put her hands in mine and did what I'd told her to, putting all of her emotions into what we both hoped wouldn't be our last kiss. "Come back to me," she said.
When I pulled into the parking lot of the clubhouse nearly an hour later, I scanned the row of bikes parked outside. Everyone must have been inside already, but there was one bike that was conspicuously absent.
"Fucking Zeno," I muttered under my breath as I killed the engine of my bike and stayed put, listening to the engine ticking as it cooled down. I must have waited for fifteen minutes, getting chilly in the morning air, but there was no sign of the one man who could corroborate my story to my brothers. I finally swung my leg over my bike and headed inside.
When I got inside the clubhouse, I was greeted with silence. I scanned the room and saw that everyone was there -- Sally, Nate, Johnson, Chuck, Jay -- all of them staring at me with barely-concealed fury in their eyes. Everyone was there but Zeno.
Nate was the first to break the silence. "Surprised you showed your fuckin' face, you piece of shit."
I didn't say a word, trying to figure out my best bet for getting out of this mess alive.
Sally took a step toward me and turned to face the rest of the Sons. "We agreed to hear him out, men. That's what we're going to do, and then we'll decide what comes afterwards."
Nate shook his head in disgust, clearly pissed at what he thought was lenience that I didn't deserve. "Let's get this over with."
Without a word, the
rest of the guys followed Nate into our meeting room. I stood in the bar, feeling a little panic at the thought that Zeno might not be there to back me up. I knew he didn't completely agree with the way Moses had handled the mess that had been created in Mexico, but he also knew that what Joker had done was so wrong that he had to pay for it. I decided to wait for a few more minutes before I joined the rest of the Sons.
Only Sally was left in the room with me, and he studied me a while before he spoke. "Son, I know you have some kind of explanation for what you did, but I just thought you should know that you broke your father's heart."
"Have you seen him?" I asked.
"Yeah. His lawyer isn't even sure that he'll get out on bail before the trial."
"Well, I don't know that it's a bad thing for him to spend some time in jail. Sally, I know you and my father go back a long way..." I was going to continue, but he interrupted me.
"Save it for the meeting, son," he said. "You ready?"
"Zeno's not here yet," I pointed out.
"Should have been here nearly fifteen minutes ago. We ain't gonna wait forever."
"But he's the only one who understands what's going on. He's going to verify what I'm going to tell all of you."
"He didn't say nothin' about it last night, before he left," Sally said, narrowing his eyes, as if he didn't quite believe me.
"Zeno never says much, but he's going to speak today. We need to wait for him."
"I'll give you fifteen more minutes," Sally said. "And then we'll start without him. This can't wait forever."
I nodded my thanks, and the next fifteen minutes passed in an uncomfortable silence. When the time was up, Sally stood up and went into the meeting room without another word.
Realizing that I didn't really have much in the way of other options, I followed him.
I sat down at my place at the table, and all of us looked at the empty chair at Joker's place at the head of the table. We all knew why we were in the room, and we all knew that my very life depended on the outcome of the meeting. I had to convince my brothers that I deserved to live and that Joker had earned his punishment.
Sally opened the meeting. "We're not gonna stand on ceremony, here, and I'm gonna move that we table our other orders of business until after we resolve the fuckin' mess that Luke has created."
I thought about objecting, but I decided to spend my energy in more productive ways. The Sons all agreed to delay discussion of weekly business for later, and they all turned to look at me. I was about to speak when Nate beat me to it.
"I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears. Luke was working with the feds, and he was responsible for setting Joker up to be arrested. Luke Callaway is a fucking traitor, a rat, and he's a man who betrayed his own father. I move that we revoke his membership in the Savage Sons, and that we put this piece of shit out of his misery by ending his miserable, fuckin' life."
Sally looked at me. "You got anything to say for yourself?"
"I've decided that being completely honest with you is the best way to handle this," I said, hoping that I would be able to persuade the men in the room that I deserved to live. "I was working with the feds, and I did set Joker up."
Before I could continue, the room erupted in angry shouts and calls for my execution.
I stood up, knowing that the guys might interpret my move as one of aggression, but feeling the need to take control of the situation. "Listen to me." I repeated the words a few more times until finally the noise subsided. "I did it because I had to."
"I can't wrap my head around how you think you can explain betraying your own father," Chuck said, and though it was unusual for a hangaround to have spoken up in a meeting, everyone else around the table nodded in agreement."
I couldn't afford to wait any longer. I would have liked to be able to set the story up nicely and tell it all in order, but I was feeling my chance to be heard slipping away by the second. "Joker wanted to do a deal with Don Roberto to bring in little girls to sell as prostitutes. While he was in Mexico with Moses and Zeno, he fucked a little girl, and Don Roberto had her killed to teach Moses a lesson when Moses didn't want to involve the Sons in it. Joker was fucking evil, and he deserves to spend the rest of his life in jail for what he did."
Silence fell over the room while the men tried to process what I'd said. I sat down at last and waited for the inevitable questions to begin. I was surprised how long it took for Sally to break the silence.
"Luke, you can't expect us to believe that bullshit. I've known Joker for more than half my life, and as much as he loves a piece of ass, he would never fuck a little girl. He just wouldn't."
I took a deep breath. "But he did. He fucked a little girl named Nadia. She was thirteen years old. She's dead now." I forced myself to keep my voice calm and even.
"How the fuck do you know that?" Nate was leaning forward at the table, palms flat, in a position that clearly challenged my honesty.
"I talked to Nadia's mother. Krystal and I both did when we were in Juarez. She and Moses met at Lupita's, and even though they only spent a couple of days together, he'd planned to get her and Nadia out of Mexico and bring them to Colorado. She didn't know he was dead, but after Don Roberto killed her daughter, she told Moses that she never wanted to see him again."
"Why the fuck should we believe you?" Nate demanded.
I decided to push ahead with the rest of the news I had to deliver and ignore Nate for the moment. "That's not all there is to the story."
"Jesus Christ," Chuck muttered under his breath, but loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
"Moses was working with the feds."
The room exploded into chaos. Sally pushed back from the table in disgust and walked out of the room. Nate stood up and looked like he was going to take a swing at me before Johnson stopped him with a firm hand on his arm. I sat where I was and waited for the furor to die down. A couple of the guys went out to the bar to join Sally, and I strongly suspected that despite the early hour, a bottle of whiskey had been opened. I heard raised voices and my name, along with Moses' and Joker's being thrown around the room. I figured that when they were ready, the guys would come find me.
I sat in the room alone, looking around at the things I had grown to love so much. Maps of Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico papered the walls, routes and hangouts marked along the way. A Harley Davidson calendar, complete with barely-clothed women, occupied the space next to the door, and a big wood carving of the Savage Sons logo -- painstakingly carved by Moses' father, my uncle, hung on the wall opposite the door. I loved everything about the room and the Savage Sons. Everything except the rotten core that was personified by my father. Whether or not there was anything worth saving would be determined by the next few minutes, I realized.
Sally appeared in the doorway. "We're moving to the bar. Nate's about ready to kill you right now, but we're gonna hear you out."
I stood up and followed him onto the larger room, unsure whether it was a good thing or a very bad thing that it looked like nearly a full bottle of Jack Daniels had gone down the gullets of my brothers.
"Say your piece," Sally prompted.
"Moses was working for the feds. He approached the FBI and the DEA about six months after he got back from Mexico, as far as I can tell. He was really torn up about Maria -- that's Nadia's mother -- and the little girl whose life was cut short because of what Joker did."
I could see everyone struggling to put the pieces together, and it was Jay who spoke first.
"So that explains what the DEA agent was doing at his house the night he was killed," the newest member of the Sons said.
"Exactly," I replied, relieved that someone was starting to see how all the events were connected. "The woman that Moses got involved with just before he died -- Max -- was an FBI agent working undercover to get the information and evidence that the feds needed to put the Sons away for manufacturing and distributing meth. Moses was going to give up Joker, and his plan was to tr
y to disappear afterwards -- get out of the MC altogether."
Sally shook his head. "I just have trouble believing that Moses would rat Joker out. Or that you would, for that matter." He paused. "So you're saying that Moses was telling the feds what we were up to for all that time?"
"Yes. I know it's hard to hear and hard to believe, but it's true."
Nate shook his head and downed another shot of whiskey. "I don't believe you."
"Krystal will tell you exactly the same story," I said.
"I don't give a fuck what that fucking whore says. I don't believe you," Nate snarled.
I wanted to jump all over him, but Sally handled it.
"Nate, that's enough. No need to insult the woman that he's gonna marry." He looked at me again. "Luke, Nate does have a point, though. This whole story seems kinda farfetched. We need some kind of proof or something."
"Zeno was supposed to be here, and he can back me up. He was in Mexico with Moses and Joker. He knows what happened."
"Isn't that convenient? That the one person who knows for sure if you're telling the truth is suspiciously absent from our regular meeting?" Nate's sarcasm was thick.
"I don't know what to tell you. He said he was going to be here."
Nate turned to Sally. "Our rules don't say anything about acceptable reasons for turning a brother over to the feds. We all know that if you betray us, we kill you, Sally. That's the way we operate, and I don't see any reason to make an exception for this piece of shit." Nate seemed to be getting even more worked up. "Think about it -- Joker made an exception for his little boy -- he didn't have a hangaround period or nothin' -- and see how that worked out."
As sure as I was that I'd done the best I could with a lousy situation, I knew that Nate had a point. I'd come into their MC as a complete stranger and my father had bent the rules for me, only to end up in jail. But that didn't change what Joker had done -- the sins he'd committed. I didn't have much more to say in my defense. I had to hope that Sally could see my point of view, or I had to hope that Zeno came through, explained what he knew, and backed me up.
