“Please,” I whispered. I wanted to reach through the phone and pull her back home. Pull her into my arms to hold her tightly and never ever let her go again. “When will you come back? Toby misses you, too.”
Maybe if she knew Toby was just as upset as the rest of them, she’d return. Maybe she’d come back for one of us.
“You have no idea how much I miss him. I miss you so much,” she said, clearing her throat. “But I can’t.”
“Why the fuck not?” I shouted. I heard her intake of breath, but it didn’t stop me. “Why can’t you fucking come back and deal with this like an adult?”
“When you can act like one, I will,” she spoke, her voice soft and smooth. “I’ll come back when I know you won’t act stupid about the choices I’ve made. I bet you haven’t even figured out why I ran, have you?”
“No,” I grunted out. “No one will tell me a fucking thing.”
I was happy to hear her voice, but I wanted to hold her. I wanted to see her. I just wanted her back home. Why couldn’t she be back home.
“That’s for the best,” she said quietly.
“I’ll come track you down and drag you back here,” I seethed.
I wanted to punch something. Anything.
“I’m surprised you haven’t yet,” she stated. Was that what she was waiting for? Was she wanting me to track her down to drag her back home? Because I wanted to. I hadn’t yet because I had no clues to finding her or I would have already.
“I will if you don’t tell me why you ran,” I threatened.
“You haven’t yet, therefore you still won’t,” she said, almost amused. “Who knows, maybe one day I’ll just show up on your doorstep with my reason for running.”
“Please do. Like right now,” I gritted out.
“Or maybe one day, I’ll get back to the place I’m staying, and you’ll just be sitting here, waiting for me. A look of pure fury on your face,” she mused.
“Avidya, please,” I said. Was she playing with me? “Would you come back with me, if I did show up?”
“As long as you grow up, yes. I can’t give up my own beliefs for you. Not when someone else is involved,” she answered.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“Just think about it. I’m sure it’ll come to you. If not, when you ever get the balls to grow up, please come find me. I don’t want this anger-filled man on my doorstep. I want the man that I fell in love with. The man that took control, but let me have complete say over everything I want. I want the man that will hold my wishes and my broken heart in his hands. I want that man to come find me and put us back together.
“I may have left, but you have ways to find me. Think about it. Think about what you could really do. Prove to yourself that you deserve me. Because right now, I don’t think you do. Not when you took that one choice away from me. It could have been any choice, but it had to be the one I knew I’d never be able to look past.” She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
“It’s late. I love you, Zachariah.” With that, she hung up, not giving me a chance to reply.
What the fuck just happened? She made no sense to me, and now I was more confused than I had been the day she left me.
Chapter 13
Avidya
Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Time passed, and I kept on going through each passing minute as well as I could. I didn’t worry about the possibilities. I didn’t worry about what could happen later on in my life. I only worried about the here and now. There was no point in worrying about things I no longer had control over.
It was after the new year and I hoped that with it came good things. I prayed that things would work out on their own. I was done with worrying over everything, at least as much as I could.
I had been filled with nerves when I called Zach on Christmas, I wasn’t even sure he’d answer. I called late at night for a reason. I halfway hoped that he wasn’t going to answer, so I could just leave a message. But when he answered, I had wanted to say so many things. I wanted to tell him my secret. I wanted him to come find me.
I had told him to come find me. I basically dared him to. I was surprised he hadn’t yet. I think, since it had been almost five months since I left him, it gave him enough time to cool down. When I talked to him, I could hear in his voice that he hated life. He hated me leaving. And he hated himself.
So I told him to grow up, but maybe not in a nice way. He needed to grow up. He needed to take charge and come get me, damn it. Because I knew if he did, I wouldn’t fight him. I would go with him willingly. I wanted to see him so badly, I would have done so without second thought.
I had enough people on my side to make sure that the baby would be mine, no matter what. Maybe if I had given them all time before now, they would be on my side no matter what. With my time away, I found that having time on my own was needed. Needed for me to figure out my life. It helped me more than I ever thought it would.
As the days passed, I kept busy with working at the daycare and keeping an eye on Catrina when Krissy had to work late a few nights a month. I didn’t mind at all. I enjoyed it.
Taylor and I got along well, and I had told him that I wished he’d have gotten me as a kid instead of where I ended up. He had looked dumbfounded, then grunted something about not being sure what I was talking about.
He didn’t take compliments very well. Neither did I most days.
We were more alike than either one of us had ever thought.
Today, since I wasn’t needed at the daycare, I sat in the bedroom. I was thinking about how to fit a small crib in here, because there were only a few months left before the baby would be arriving. Later today, I’d be finding out the gender, and I was excited. I couldn’t wait to know what I was having.
It seemed like it wasn’t all that long ago when I felt its first kicks from inside of me. I cherished each moment I got with this little one. Taylor was a bit freaked out at the fact that I had forcibly laid his hand on my growing stomach to feel that first night I felt the kicks. His look was filled with disgust before turning to awe, which he had quickly tried to hide.
I didn’t plan to buy much, since I wasn’t sure when Zach would show up. But I wanted to buy a few things here and there. Every time I went to the store, I always had to stop and look at all the cute little baby items. It was so tempting to buy things already. Well, I had bought a few soft gender-neutral blankets that were soft and fuzzy.
So far, I refused to think of what I was going to name the baby. I wanted Zach to help, even if he didn’t want to. Only time would tell. And I had more than enough time to wait and waste away.
“Hey, Vids,” Taylor said, popping his head around the corner.
“Uh, hey. Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked, turning to face him.
“A short day,” he shrugged. I wasn’t sure I believed him, as he worked at some construction site as a security guard.
“Shorter than normal,” I stated.
“Well,” he trailed off, not sure what to say. “I may have asked to get off early. I wanted to get you something.”
“You didn’t need to do that,” I said. What could he have possibly gotten me?
“I wanted to,” he said. “It’s in the living room.”
Giving him a questioning look, I got up from the bed and made my way to the living room. There, I found a boxed bassinet with a number of bags on the top.
“What? When?” I asked, not able to tear my eyes away from it.
“Today,” he said sheepishly. “I know you need it, and I wasn’t sure if you’d ever go get it yourself. So yeah. I just got it. I hope that’s okay.” He ran a hand across his hair, trying to hide his nerves.
“Thank you,” I said, flinging my arms around him in a hug. I didn’t know how else to thank him, even though he wasn’t that much of a touchy-feely person.
He returned the hug awkwardly.
“I’ll help put it together and all that,” he said once I releas
ed him. “It should fit in the room without a problem. There’s blankets and other stuff you’ll need, too.”
“Thank you. You really didn’t need to, you know,” I said as I started to look through the bags.
“I wanted to. I can spoil my family how I want to,” he grunted before heading to the kitchen.
I let him be as I sorted through the bags. There were soft fleece blankets, receiving blankets, and some cute little socks. Even a matching hat. It was all adorable and I couldn’t wait to use them.
“I was going to wait till after your appointment, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to get the stuff now,” Taylor said, taking a seat at the table with a cup of coffee.
“I love it. Thank you,” I smiled his way. My hair fell over my shoulder as I sat one of the bags onto the floor.
“Don’t forget you’ll have to call Julia and Carlos after the appointment,” Taylor reminded me.
“I’m sure one of them will be calling before I ever get done,” I laughed.
“Possibly,” he agreed with an amused laugh.
Julia had made sure to give me a call almost weekly, beating her husband to it most of the time. I didn’t mind. It was nice to be able to talk to her. It felt like I needed that connection more than I had realized. She kept me up to date on most of the things that she could throughout the weeks. So far, it didn’t seem like Zach was looking for me. I wasn’t sure if he was just trying to keep it all quiet, or if he was just planning for the right moment.
Whatever he was doing, I was waiting for him.
~oOo~
I lay on the table, the cold gel smeared across my stomach. I think Taylor was more nervous than I was currently. He sat stiffly in the chair beside me, hands clasped too tightly in his lap.
“You are finding out the gender, correct?” the tech asked as she grabbed the wand to look inside of my belly.
“Yes,” I answered, watching on the screen above as she used the wand to begin to take measurements.
“Perfect,” she smiled. “Hopefully the little one will corporate so we can get a good look. So far, everything looks like it’s developing perfectly. On the small side, but not so much that it’s anything to be concerned about.”
She took measurements of everything that had to do with the baby. She walked me through what each part was, not at all concerned about any of it.
“Alright,” she said. “It looks like it’s a boy!”
“A boy?” Taylor gulped. “You sure?”
“Positive,” she smiled. “I have some pictures being printed off for you to keep, and if there are any concerns, your doctor will call you within twenty-four hours. But I see no reason to worry.”
“Thank you,” I said as I cleared away the goop that covered my rounding belly with the oversized hand towel that she handed me.
“Of course,” she smiled.
It hadn’t taken long to get changed and cleaned up before heading back to the truck. Of course, we stopped for ice cream, as per usual.
I was having a baby boy. I had no idea what Zach would do once he found out, but I’d do anything in my power to make sure that this baby was loved as much as possible.
Chapter 14
Zachariah
Before I knew it, spring was upon us. The rain turned into spring showers, the birds began to chirp, and everything was born anew. Only if my heart would be too.
After the phone call from Avidya on Christmas night, I finally grew a pair, as everyone kept telling me. I became the hard man I was known to be among my men and others that knew me. I was feared. A feared monster.
I ran my club, making sure everything was going smoothly. I ordered new equipment with the plans to expand to increase the member count. It all brought in more money, which was the main reason in doing everything I was.
Both of my parents seemed to be happy. Apparently, Avidya called them a number of times the past few weeks. Mom said she’s doing well, and hopefully would return home sooner rather later. God, I hoped so.
I didn’t hold too much hope on that. She hadn’t called me again. I wished she would. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to know where she was at. I just wanted her! I had looked for the number that she called me from, but it was blocked, so I had no way of calling her myself. It didn’t stop me from answering the phone every time it rang.
Currently, Travis was away looking for any leads on where she may be. He was the best man to track down anyone that didn’t want to be found. He had mentioned that she may be closer than I thought to look. Did that mean he knew where she was? Was it possible that she was so close that I didn’t even know it?
Jonas was my own personal bodyguard as I continued to dig up information on Aaron and his gang. I knew he wasn’t working alone. I just had to figure out who was working on his side. There wasn’t all that much digging to do, though, as the man was pretty much an open target. It just wasn’t as fun and thrilling now that I didn’t have to chase him down. I knew right where he was, but I was biding my time. He’d come to me soon enough.
Lynn had come crawling back a few weeks ago. She was upset her daughter wasn’t here with me, and refused to listen to reason. I didn’t know what to do about her, so I sent her away. What else was I supposed to do? Her daughter wasn’t here, and I didn’t know if Avidya would even want to see that woman.
Although she appeared calm on the surface, Lynn was skittish like something would jump out and attack her at any given moment. She was tight-lipped about what made her that way, too. I could only gather she was afraid that Aaron was coming for her. Little did she know, that man wanted nothing to do with her. He only wanted what was mine.
I was able to talk her into just going home with a promise that I’d let her know if her daughter ever turned up. If she really cared, she’d do more than she had so far. Like actually try to be a parent. I was sure she knew I wasn’t happy with her; it was pretty clear about that. When a mother gave up their child for their own sick pleasure, I didn’t look on too kindly about the choices.
Sure, she may have done what she thought was right, but it would have just been better if she’d have gone to my father and ask for our protection instead of going behind everyone’s back to do it.
Personally, I didn’t care what happened to her. My wife hadn’t really cared, either, as far as I knew. Avidya never asked for updates; never asked for me to look harder. Everything was just as it had been with no change.
The ringing of my phone jarred me from my thoughts, thankfully. More and more applications for people who wanted to join the club kept coming in, it was increasing weekly.
“Travis,” I answered, rubbing my dry eyes at the same time as I leaned back in my chair. My lack of sleep was slowly catching up with me.
“I have some information,” he answered easily. The sounds of cars were heard in the background.
“I’m listening,” I answered.
“Avidya is in Cali,” he said. “Living with a man named Taylor Shantez.”
“Ah, the mystery of where that man has been is solved,” I muttered, but happy for some good news.
“Yes,” he said. “I can’t get close, though. He won’t be afraid to shoot me on sight if he sees me. I saw her leaving the house this afternoon, and she looks…well, happy.”
“That’s good,” I said. I think. I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to be happy. Why should she have to suffer, but why should she be happy, either?
Yeah, I know. I don’t know what I wanted my wife to be. Alive, at least. Alive. That I could deal with.
“Can you talk to her? Bring her back?” I fired off.
“I will,” he said. “She left with a red-haired chick and a kid. Not sure where they went since the redhead chick drove a car, and drove like a bat shit crazy lady.”
“How long did it take for you to track her down?” I asked.
“Wasn’t all that hard, really. I listened to small talk at the diner about a new girl in town that was sweet, and she was staying with the quietest man in town,�
� he stated. “Only took me about a day to track what house she was staying in.” He paused, thinking over something before continuing. “I’ll catch her when she returns home. It’s early enough, maybe she has a job or something.”
“Keep me posted,” I stated before hanging up.
I trusted Travis to talk to her. Maybe he could be the only one that could talk some sense into that crazy woman that I loved more than life itself. At least she was alive, safe, and healthy. It was all I could ask for at this point in time.
Oh, but when I would have her back here in my arms, she’d get punished. My palm ached to swat that round ass of hers until she begged me to stop.
Crap. I had to stop thinking like that. I was stressed, and I knew I needed some sort of release. But I was a man of my word.
I wouldn’t harm her, but she’d fucking be sorry for leaving me.
Chapter 15
Avidya
After telling Krissy bye for the day and heading to my house, I couldn’t help but let a smile form on my lips. Today had been a good day at work. No one threw up and the kids actually got along pretty well. Also, there was a new twelve-week-old, who was adorably cute and small.
Everything was going smoothly as far as I was concerned. I was only a short eight weeks from my due date and this past weekend we’d a small baby shower. Krissy was determined to have one for me, which I didn’t fight her on.
Only thing missing was my entire family, but I was happy. I didn’t have a huge gaping hole where my heart was now. Thinking about my past hurt, but it was bearable. Every day it was more bearable.
Opening the front door, I froze. My heart beat in my chest in heavy thumps. My eyes widened in horror. Fear consumed me. My stomach twisted into knots.
Time froze.
In the living room, tied to a chair and unconscious was Taylor. His head hung down to his chest, his breathing slow. Behind him stood a man that looked way too much like Cody, but a bit pudgier and shorter. His eyes were a tad lighter, but still, I could see the pain he wished to cause me.
His to Know (His to Own Book 3) Page 6
