Violet answered on the second ring. It was as though she expected me to be calling, which I wouldn’t have put it past my husband letting her know.
“Hello, Avidya,” she greeted, sounding happy to hear from me.
“Hey, Violet,” I replied. “How are you doing?”
“Doing well. You?” she returned.
“Doing better now,” I answered. I really was.
“Good,” she sighed out. “When will you be back? We all miss you.”
“I’m not sure yet,” I stated. “I can’t come back until late next month, since Joshua has a doctor’s appointment that would be best to do here. Depending on that, then maybe that same week.”
“That would be good,” she said. “How’s Zach handling it all?”
“Better than I expected,” I answered truthfully. “I figured he’d yell and demand things. But he’s been great so far. To the both of us.”
“Good,” she sighed. “I would hang him by the balls if he wasn’t nice.”
I barked out a laugh, knowing how true that was. His entire family would have done that and more if Zachariah did anything to harm me, or make me do something I didn’t want to do.
“How’s Toby doing?” I asked.
“Today isn’t too bad of a day,” she sighed in answer. “He’s been more withdrawn since you left, and we can’t get him to really branch out from it at all. He had been talking to Melio, but that hasn’t happened for months now. He worries that I’ll get rid of him.”
“That wouldn’t ever happen,” I was quick to say.
“Never,” she agreed. “But he’s…well, he just has to see that won’t ever happen.”
“Do you think he’d talk to me?” I asked.
“Maybe. He’ll at least listen, I think. I’ll put on you speaker,” Violet said before there was a bit of background noise that indicated she was moving around to find the boy.
After a moment, I could hear Violet explaining to Toby that I was on the phone and wanted to talk to him.
Taking that was my go ahead, I spoke to him. I wasn’t sure if he’d answer, but at least he’d know I was okay.
“Hey, Toby,” I began. “You don’t have to talk to me, but I thought you’d like to know that I am okay. I’ll be back in a few months.”
“Please, Vidie,” he whispered so quietly I almost didn’t hear it.
“I’ll come back soon, I promise,” I said, fighting back tears. “And I’ll bring you something when I do. Will that be okay?”
“He nodded,” Violet spoke for him. “I’m sure he’d like that.”
“Good,” I smiled. “I’ll be back home before you know it.”
“I think he’s done,” Violet said, a bit of sadness to her tone. “If he wants, would you be up to having another phone call?”
“Absolutely,” I said. “You can call anytime, and I’ll answer. Promise.”
Not sure if the phone call changed anything, or helped Toby in any way, but it was worth a shot. Violet and I talked a little more before hanging up. I hoped that Toby would call me. I worried about him more than I thought I should.
The boy had stolen my heart as much as the rest of the family had already. Would he be okay with Joshua? Would he open up to me when I got back? Or would Toby want nothing to do with me when he found out?
“You okay?” Zachariah asked, leaning against the doorway.
“Yeah,” I answered. “Just worried.”
“About what?” he asked.
“Toby,” I sighed. “What if he doesn’t like my reasons for being gone? What if he wants nothing to do with me?”
“I don’t think Toby would be anything but happy to see you,” Zachariah answered, pulling me into a hug. I melted against his chest. “He has liked you since he first time he saw you. It’s like the rest of the family, Avidya. No one could ever hate you, no matter how hard they tried to. You are light to the darkness in all of us.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I said, propping my chin on his chest. “You make it all seem so much easier than it really is. It’s not all sunshine and roses.”
“It’s you that makes it easy,” he said. “It’s all you. No one else. You are the one that is easy.”
“Did you just call me easy?” I asked with a glare.
“Well, I did get you with little effort,” he winked before his mouth crashed to mine.
Instantly, I melted against his lips and body. I let him take control of the kiss, making sure not hurt me or take things any farther.
With his lips alone, he showed me just how easy it was to forgive and forget. He showed me how much he loved me and would do anything for me.
As my stomach filled with butterflies, I knew he was it for me. There would be no more running or second guessing our motives in life. There was no more fighting against each other’s choices.
We were one, and would always be one. Nothing would be able to stand between us again.
Pulling back, his eyes were bright with happiness and love.
“Shall we go do something before I take you on that bed?” he asked.
“I’d love to do that, but yes please,” I blushed.
Yeah, now was not the time to let him have his wicked way with me. I couldn’t wait to get the all clear from the doctor next week. Now was not the time to test the links of fate with expanding our family. I don’t think either one of us could handle that.
Chapter 31
Zachariah
I never expected to fall into step being a father. I never wanted children, which everyone around me knew without a doubt. Kids and I just never got along. Ever. I didn’t try to be different to cater to children of any age. I never catered to anyone. That was until I found Avidya.
With Avidya, everything changed. She made me see how things were more than just black and white. Avidya brought things to light. She made me want to live; made me be something more than just a man that tried to control my men to bring in money.
That life was nothing when comparing it to the three of us now. Losing my brothel, losing my club, losing what I had worked so hard to get and my status in the world was no longer that important when put next to my wife and child.
Now as I held Joshua in my arms, watching Avidya sleep beside me on the couch, I knew I would never be able to give these two up. I questioned myself on why I didn’t want Avidya to have a kid. I asked myself why I didn’t want one. And why didn’t I give it more thought before jumping to conclusions?
Thinking over everything, I was scared that any child we had would be used against me. Everyone around me could be used against me. I didn’t want some nameless child to be forced into the life I led. I didn’t want its choices taken away from it.
My choices were all my own as I grew up. I didn’t have to be in the mafia. I didn’t have to take such a part in it. I did, though. I wasn’t as big of a rule abiding man as my father and grandfather, but I still took part in many things.
Holding my son, I knew that things wouldn’t have to be the same. He would have as much of a choice as I had when it came to being in the family of more than just a member. He would be protected, just like Avidya and anyone else. We protect our own before anything else. I knew we all would be fine in the end.
Joshua would be able to grow up having anything he desired. He’d have the same choices as I did as a child, and there was no guarantee that he’d pick the same paths that I did. I wouldn’t keep him hidden from the world. I wouldn’t keep secrets. I’d let him know what I did and let him choose when he was of age.
I just hoped that Avidya would be okay with that.
I knew we all would be okay. I’d do everything in my power to make sure that we were.
Why? Because I was Zachariah Melendez.
I was pleasantly surprised that Avidya let me kiss her, though. I had missed it so much, I never wanted to stop. Her lips called to me as much as the rest of her.
She was soft and warm, and I wanted to do so much more than just kissing her. I knew we c
ouldn’t rush things, not yet. But fuck, I wanted her more than anything.
It really was amazing how she made everything better. She didn’t hold anything against me from the past. Avidya was open to put the past behind us and move on.
Looking back at Josh as he stared up at me from my arms, my heart swelled in love for this little one. Green eyes blinked at me, like he knew just who I was. His little hand was wrapped around my pinky as I held the bottle so he could eat. He even made these adorable little sounds as he drank his milk.
How could I not ever want a child after holding this one in my arms?
I wished more than anything that I could have been here for his mother, for him, while he was in the hospital. I wished that someone would have told me about all this—all that I was missing out on.
What did Avidya look like while pregnant? What were her cravings? Was she emotional? Did she cry herself to sleep, wanting me here just as much as I wanted to be here?
Would she want another child later on?
God, I wasn’t sure I’d be up for that. But if it happened, I would let it. I would never go against Avidya’s beliefs again. I was an idiot to do so the first time.
“He’s up already?” Avidya yawned, pushing herself up so she sat.
“He thinks so,” I said. “Not that anyone would agree with midnight playtime.”
“This is his new time to be wide away,” she laughed, her eyes brighter than they had when I showed up on her doorstep.
“How did you do all this on your own?” I asked. Given, it was only a week, but still it had to be hard.
“Luckily, I don’t have to go to work, so I slept during the day a bit,” she shrugged. “They say it gets easier, but yeah, I don’t think so.”
“No, it only gets harder,” I agreed. “I’m sure once we get back, everyone will offer to watch him every night.”
“Oh, that I don’t doubt,” she said, leaning her head against my shoulder. She put one hand on Joshua’s toes as they tended to stick out. He hated having his toes covered, I found out. “I’m sure they’d all be happy to keep him all the time.”
“Most likely,” I muttered. Louder, “They all want pictures.”
“I haven’t taken any,” she shrugged. “Krissy has.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“I don’t have a phone that will do them,” she said like I should have known. “And I haven’t gotten around to getting a camera or a phone to do so. But when I do, Krissy will send all of them to me.”
“How have you lived without all that?” I asked. No phone, no internet, and hardly anything she owned was here.
“I don’t need any of it,” she answered. “I’ve lived without it before, so now was no different.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything at all.
“Where did you work?”
“I worked in a home daycare part time. It kept me busy enough to keep my mind from going in circles,” she answered. “I won’t be returning, but I think they all expected that once you showed up.”
“You can if you want,” I said.
“There’s no point for a few weeks,” she shrugged. “I don’t really want to go back now, anyhow.”
“You sure?” I wouldn’t care if she wanted to. I’d be happy to take care of Joshua if she wanted to go back to work.
“I’m sure,” she said, her voice strong. “There’s not much point in working with little sleep, and for only a few weeks.”
“We don’t have to go back at all, you know,” I mused.
“Yes, we do,” she said, looking up at me. “Everyone wants to meet the new addition, and I promised Toby I would go back. I always planned eventually go back anyhow. I only have two friends here, and we’ll keep in touch through Facebook and phone calls. Plus, it’s not that long of a drive to meet up every couple of months.”
“You have it all figured out, don’t you?” I asked, surprised.
“Yeah,” she said sheepishly. “I’ve had a lot of thinking time.”
“Guess that makes it easier,” I mused.
“I’ve always known I’d end up going back,” she shrugged. “I just wasn’t sure when that would be.”
“Would it have been sooner if I showed up before I did?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Most likely, yes,” she answered without having to think about it. “I figured you’d show up one day.”
“And I did,” I stated.
“You did. And I’m ready to go back once we get the all clear from the doctor on Josh,” she went on.
Although he was born a preemie, other than his size, he didn’t really act like one. Yes, he wanted food often, but I was sure that was a normal newborn thing. If I hadn’t known he was born so early, I wouldn’t have been able to tell.
Avidya had the all clear from her own doctor just a few days ago, but we still planned to take things slow. Mostly so that her birth control would be in full effect before we just jumped back into bed. I knew we had to take everything one step at a time.
It would be well worth it in the end.
Chapter 32
Avidya
“Do you have everything?” Krissy asked as she looked over the many boxes that were packed into the small U-Haul that was now attached to the dark red SUV that Zachariah was determined to buy. I really didn’t have that much to take with us. Only a few boxes were filled with Joshua’s clothing and blankets. His swing was folded up between everything, along with the bassinet that Krissy demanded that I take with me.
The portable crib like bassinet that Taylor had gotten me was also packed in there somewhere, too.
“I think it’s all too much,” I laughed. “But yes.”
“Call me when you get in,” she demanded.
“Of course,” I replied. “We’ll be just fine. May take us twice as long to get there, but we will.”
“Do you have to leave?” Catrina asked, again for the twentieth time.
“I do,” I said, bending down to her level. “My family misses me and would like to meet Josh now that he can travel.”
“But can’t you come back?” she asked.
“You’ll get to see me again in a few months,” I promised. “I’ll call you as often as I can.”
“I don’t want you to go,” she cried, flinging her arms around my neck.
“Neither do I,” Krissy said, running a hand over the top of the girl’s red hair. “But her family misses her. She’ll be back. If not, we will go to her to see her.”
“Promise?” Catrina asked.
“Pinky promise,” Krissy smiled.
“Okay,” she sighed, seeming to be okay with that as she pulled away from me. “Mommy?”
“Yes?” Krissy asked.
“Can I have a baby brother now?” she asked, her head cocked to the side.
“No,” Krissy said, hiding her laugh. “Maybe when we find a daddy first.”
“He can be our daddy,” Catrina said, pointing to my husband.
“Sorry, Miss,” Zachariah said, winking her way. “I’m only a daddy to one little boy.”
“Oh,” Catrina said, feeling dejected. “Guess I’ll have to find one then.”
“Good luck with that,” Zachariah laughed. “Are you all set?”
“Yep,” I answered.
“Good. Josh has been fed and changed, and strapped into his seat,” Zachariah said. “Just have to lock up the house.”
“Will it stay empty?” Krissy asked.
“Probably for a week or so,” Zachariah answered. “But you can expect someone else to move in sometime in the future. My family aren’t total monsters. We do help people in need.”
“It better be someone more social than Taylor,” Krissy laughed.
“No guarantees,” Zachariah laughed. “But I can keep that in mind.”
“I really like him,” Krissy staged whispered to me, causing me to laugh. “You have to keep him around.”
“He is pretty likable on most days,” I agree
d.
After bidding us goodbye, and getting more than enough hugs to last until the next time Catrina would be able to see me, we headed out and back towards home.
Home.
The one place I knew I would go back to. I wasn’t sure if it would be now or years later, but I would have gone back one day.
On the way back, we had to stop every couple of hours to feed Joshua. What would have been an eight-hour trip ended up being a near twelve-hour trip. It helped that Zachariah didn’t take any round about ways back home. It was a pretty straight shot from point A to point B.
The entire way back, Zachariah and I talked about what we wanted to do with everything that went around in our lives. It was almost like we hadn’t been apart for almost a year.
“Have you been writing in the journals?” he asked. He had seen my stack of journals, some filled and some still empty while I was packing this past week.
“Yes,” I answered. “You didn’t get any of them from your father?”
“No,” he said.
“Oh. I sent a few to him and he was supposed to give them to you. No wonder you were so surprised when you showed up,” I said. Although I never wrote in them with what I was pregnant, I did hint at it more than once. I had just sent out my third shipment of journals a couple days before my husband had showed up at my doorstep.
“That would explain the box I hadn’t opened,” he mused. “My father dropped a box off at the house and I thought it had to do with work. Just told me to look through them.”
“And you didn’t,” I guessed. I wasn’t all that surprised, as Carlos was even sure what was in the box, only knew it had come from me.
“If I had known they were from you, I would have jumped right in,” he said, glancing at me. “But I thought they had to do with work.”
“That’s okay,” I shrugged. “You don’t really need to read them now.”
“You can count on me reading every single word you wrote,” he said, his voice firm. “Everything you have to say, written or spoken, is important to me.”
His to Know (His to Own Book 3) Page 14
