by Tim Roy
Troy: That’s the writer’s fault. He just doesn’t know. He is so young. Got no idea what we went through. He just writes our story. He’s got no story. He might have a story with the screenplays and books he writes, he’s got no story of life, he writes our story. That’s why I’m saying it is his fault because he wants us to walk through a bloody storybook. And know what we are supposed to feel because we don’t feel. We got to know what we are suppose to feel otherwise we’re not good and we are not going to make anything out of ourselves.
(Very angry voice)
He wasn’t there, he doesn’t know how much bullshit was going through us at the time, and he doesn’t know how scary it was. He just writes, you know, he writes our story and uses these big words, that don’t mean nothing to us. We’re little people,
(Frightened voice)
We’re scared we don’t care about what bottles are broken or how many windows I broke, I was just looking after Shane. Little Tim couldn’t deal with it any more. Right? That’s what happens. I was there for most of them. Except when Mark came along he was there for most of them. He doesn’t even know I know that.
Dr Jan: Two things about that are that the little people didn’t get forgotten and someone else looked after them, taking over some of the stuff.
Troy: We still don’t want to get bigger, don’t want to be like those big men, why get bigger, real scary don’t want to get bigger.
Dr Jan: So you know that when you got bigger you didn’t turn out like those men?
Troy: Yeah, now I do ’cause I remember, they have got no idea how clever us little people really are. We just go in and out and we can see what’s going on. Yeah we know we are not bad men.
Dr Jan: Mmm Mmm. So can we come back to the little ones who thought they had been forgotten? Are they still feeling that way or do they think that now it wasn’t about being forgotten?
Troy: We just don’t get it right, get in trouble, don’t drop crumbs on the floor.
Dr Jan: Did you get in trouble today for dropping crumbs on the floor?
Troy: No!
Dr Jan: So do you know that it doesn’t matter anymore about the crumbs?
Troy: I’m learning
Dr Jan: You are, so you know that you are in my office and that you are not going to get into trouble for dropping crumbs?
Troy: Yes
Dr Jan: So you don’t have to get in trouble anymore.
Troy: Sometimes.
Dr Jan: Do you, which time?
Troy: Sometimes when the big adults are yelling at one of the big guys. He might run away, and it seems natural to us to go and take charge.
Dr Jan: Because that is what you always do.
Troy: Yeah. It seems more natural to me cause little Tim can’t stand up to them.
Dr Jan: So we really need the big guys who are grown up to stay in that situation.
Troy: (whispers) Yeah but they don’t. See if there a big guy putting it on Shane, that be because we done something wrong. Shane doesn’t understand that but Gary does, cause he knows that you got to feel bad if you have done something wrong. So he steps in so that’s where it really works for us because we at that point have no real understanding of what is going on. And this person is just ranting and raving and when the ranting and raving starts I go in and then Peter goes in and we try and sort it out, but it doesn’t get sorted out that well because we can’t, don’t know how big people think.
Dr Jan: That’s one of the reasons why we thought that the system had to change somehow because that’s when it doesn’t work that well. We’re trying to find a way where that doesn’t happen; where you only get big people information to try and deal with a grown up situation. We need a grown ups to be able to deal with that situation rather than younger parts that don’t have that skill. We need a grown up to stay there and work out what this is about, work out what’s the appropriate way to deal with the situation.
Troy: We can but it’s really hard.
Dr Jan: Yeah but I know you can
Troy: Now, we worked out today that we needed sand, and to fix the situations we close our eyes. Now there is no need to get angry and upset if we know to close our eyes, because we have been told to close our eyes. Before that we wouldn’t have that thought.
Dr Jan: So how about you can try to close your eyes and when you come to see me next time you can tell if it works or not.
Troy: You want me to go back to the cupboard and sleep all week; you want me to be away for a week.
Dr Jan: No no. That’s not what I’m saying, what I’m saying is if there’s memories coming in too hard and fast, things are getting too overwhelming you can try closing your eyes. So you don’t get overwhelmed by it, you don’t get too much sand being swept away. You can leave it as a trickle or you can have just one eye open or close them and take a rest from it. You don’t have to go away to do that. I don’t want you to not be around. I’m saying just try to get the sand to trickle by using that technique and report back to me if that’s better, a better way to do it.
Troy: And other ones.
Dr Jan: Let the others know that they can do the same thing. And if it works for some and not the others I need to know that so I can think of a better way for the others.
Troy: Ok
Dr Jan: So next week you tell me if it’s working or not.
Troy: You’re the fixer upper
Dr Jan: Now we need to stop. Can Big Tim or the writer come back so you can drive home?
Dr Jan: You alright?
Tim: I’m back.
