by Ruby Dixon
"I want you so deeply that it threatens my control," he admits, and his voice is low and fervent. "Your nearness drives me to distraction. Your scent is in my nose when I wake up, and it surrounds me when I go to sleep. My hands twitch with the need to touch you. My cock aches with the need to bury myself deep inside you and claim you as mine. My fangs ache to give you my fires. Everything I am wants to possess you."
I can't breathe. "Oh," I manage. My pulse pounds in my veins, and I'm all too aware of his nearness.
"So far, I have managed to keep my control and feed my hunger for you by touching you." His fingers skate over the arch of my foot and then up to my ankle, teasing the soft skin there. "I know I shouldn't even allow myself that much, but I can't help it. Touching you is such pleasure that I can't stop myself. I'm addicted."
I shift in my seat, heat pooling through my body at these ardent words. If he's trying to push me away, he's going about it all wrong. This is just making me want him even more.
"That's why I haven't asked you to touch me," he murmurs. "Because my control is already tenuous. I find myself doing things that another drakoni would for his mate. I watch over you while you sleep. I want to feed you. I'm fascinated with your neck."
My neck? I touch it in the darkness, blushing. "Why my neck?"
"Because I want to sink my fangs into your pretty throat and give you my fires," Liam says, and his words are so low and fervent that they make a little shudder of need ripple through me. "I'd pull you close and hold you against me and claim your throat, marking you as mine for all time. No other male would ever look at you ever again, because he would smell me on you and know you're claimed."
Oh god, this should not be making me wet, but it's definitely making me wet. Haven't I been jealous of Amy and Gwen and what they have with their dragons? I've wanted what they have, dreamed of being the center of someone's world…and now Liam is confessing those feelings for me? I want it. I've been attracted to him for what feels like forever, and this feels like the best of both worlds. "So why don't you do it?" I slide my fingers across my collarbones, trying to picture where he'd bite me. Just under my ear? Or lower, near my shoulder?
He groans low, and I can feel his entire body stiffen. The hands caressing my feet clench and then stop. "I cannot. If I did, I'd have to open my mind to that part of me I've walled off. Instead of claiming you, it's very likely that I'd lose all control and hurt you instead."
I shiver and pull my feet out of his lap. "Hurt me?"
"I wouldn't want to," he rasps, and it sounds like he's on the verge of losing control as it is. "Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of you coming to harm, Andrea. But I wouldn't be able to help myself, any more than the dragons in the skies want to attack everything in sight. They can't help themselves. They're utterly crazed…and I fear I would be, too. That the pull of a mate wouldn't be enough to conquer the madness."
"Oh," I say softly again. Silence falls between us. "I don't want you to lose your mind just because we kiss," I venture. "But I'm not going to lie, I'm going to be really disappointed if we can't touch each other anymore. I liked being with you." If he's being honest, I guess I can, too. "But I understand—"
He groans. A moment later, his big arms are around my waist and he's pulling me against him. Liam buries his face against my neck and for a moment, my pulse races and I think he's going to bite me like he said he would…but he only breathes deep.
For a moment, I’m filled with bitterness. Of course I find a guy that I’m crazy about, one that touches me with love and respect and gives me everything I want…except we can’t be together. Maybe I just won’t be lucky enough to have the happiness that others experience.
And the next moment, I think…fuck that.
“Liam,” I murmur, lifting his head and caressing his face with my hands. In the darkness, his eyes practically glow and I can see them swirling deeper gold, a darker shade than they should be for me to be safe. I don’t care, though. This is Liam and I know he won’t hurt me. “You don’t have to take me as your mate, do you?”
He stiffens, pulling back. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, we can still touch each other. Give each other pleasure. We just don’t have to take that final step. No biting. Everything else is on the table.”
“Andrea,” he breathes, voice raspy. I wish I could see his face in the darkness, but I can imagine the stark look on his hard, handsome features. “No—”
“Shh,” I whisper, and put a finger to his lips. “Hear me out.” I trace the finger down his chin, touching his jaw, caressing him. “We can kiss. We can touch. We can do whatever feels good, and if it’s too much for you, we can stop. We’ll just play it by ear and do as much as you can handle. If we can’t have everything, then we can’t have everything. We’ll just work with what we can.”
He’s panting, as if even this conversation is firing him up. Maybe it is, because I’m getting all aroused myself. “My seed is too hot for you to take inside your body—”
“Then you don’t come inside my body. That’s not a big deal.”
Liam stiffens. “It…you don’t consider this an insult?”
Is it an insult for his people? “Nope.” I lean in and press a kiss to his mouth, feeling a little daring. “And we have condoms to give a bit of a barrier. Or…I could just watch you touch yourself. That’d be sexy.” I give a little wiggle in his lap, because the thought of him stroking himself to completion? Oh yeah, I’d watch that all day long.
But he pauses. “Condoms?”
“Yup. I brought some from the sex store. It’s a sheath you put over your cock and it catches all the semen. I’ve heard they dull the sensation, too, so maybe that’d be a good thing?”
“I don’t know.” His hands clench and he pulls me tighter to him. “Do you know what you ask, Andrea? We could be playing with fire.”
“I trust you, Liam.” And I do. I really don’t think he’d hurt me. I’m flattered he thinks I’m testing his control, but if he’s gone seven years without breaking, a little hanky-panky won’t do it.
Hopefully.
He touches my face. “Don’t call me that.”
That jars me out of my desire-filled haze. “What?”
“It’s not my real name. It’s just a human name.” He pulls me closer, his fingers lightly skating over my face and then down the front of my shirt. It’s like now that I’ve given him permission, he’s going to be bold with touching me, and oh, I love it. He brushes over one of my hard, aching nipples, and I arch against him. “When I first got here, the man that found me thought that I’d had a stroke, or been hit in the head and forgot my language. Drakoni don’t use spoken words, remember?”
I vaguely remember him telling me that, but my mind is scattered, distracted as he teases my nipple. “Mmhmm,” I manage to whimper out. “Go on.”
“It took me a long time to fit my mouth around your words. The only part of my name I was able to say was the second half, and that’s what stuck.” He plucks at my nipple, then leans forward to taste my lips. As he does, his mouth whispers across mine. “If you must call me something when I touch you, call me by my real name. Atalim.”
“Atalim, then.” I try to pronounce it like he does, with the latter half a breathy sigh. It sounds wild and fierce, just like him.
He shudders against me, and his fingers dig into my arms. “Say it again for me, Andrea.”
Is this why he never calls me Andi? Because he hates that his own name was taken from him? I slide a hand to the back of his neck and hold on, kissing him lightly. “Atalim.”
His groan echoes in the darkness, and he pulls my thighs apart, until I’m straddling the hard length of his cock as I sit in his lap. He presses me down against it, grinding. “Tell me to stop touching you,” he demands.
“Not gonna say that, Atalim,” I tease, leaning forward to nip at his ear. “I want you too much. We can do all kinds of things that are just for fun, you know. No one has to be mated, Atalim.”
I keep throwing his name in there, because he gives this sexy little shudder every time I say it.
“I want to mate you,” he growls against my throat. “I want that more than anything.”
My pussy clenches to hear that, and when he drags his thumb over my nipple again, I want to cry with how unfair this is. I want him to mate me, too. But I’ll take what he can give me. “Let’s just enjoy here and now, Atalim.” I slide my hand under his shirt, feeling the scorching hot wall of muscle that is his chest. “Is it okay if I touch you?”
He growls again, but that’s not a no. If it was, he’d push my hand away. Instead, his fingers curl in my shirt and he holds me closer, even as he continues to tease my breast with his other hand.
“Then you’ll just have to tell me to stop,” I murmur, pulling at his shirt until he gets the hint and lifts his arms up over his head so I can slide the whole thing off. Then there’s nothing but naked skin in front of me, and I sigh. “I want to light a candle so I can look at you. So unfair to hide all this gorgeous skin in the dark.”
“Light one. I want to please you.” His voice is raspy with emotion, his body shifting under mine, and his big dick keeps rubbing against the inside of my thigh, distracting me.
He really wants me to light one? It’s a frivolous use of something so precious, and yet he’s not chiding me on it. He wants this as much as I do, I realize. Does he like the thought of me eating him up with my eyes? With a little shiver of pleasure, I give him another quick kiss, detangle from his lap, and then fumble for my bag in the darkness, looking for my lighter and the emergency candle-bowl I brought along with me.
I manage to get it lit despite my shaking hands and set it down on the tile floor. When I turn back to him, the sight of his big golden body takes my breath away, as does the hunger in his shadowed eyes.
Oh. Reverently, I put a hand on his chest. “Look at you, Atalim. How did you ever manage to hide all this gorgeousness from me for so long?”
Liam—Atalim—groans, reaching for me. He touches my braid, which has nearly come undone with our caresses, and lets my hair drift through his fingers. “I’ve told myself over and over again that I can’t have you. Do you know how difficult that is? How long I’ve wanted to touch you, Andrea?”
“Well, you can have me,” I say lightly, feeling breathless. “Just not all of me. We won’t do anything that’ll endanger your control, okay?” I trace my fingers over his mouth, fascinated by the way the flickering shadows play over his skin. “You take the lead if you need to.”
He nips at my fingertip. “I like you leading.”
Oh god, I can practically hear my panties soaking as his teeth scrape over my skin. Reluctantly, I pull my hand back from his mouth and let my palms drift down his chest. I touch him all over, exploring his body. For a guy that’s been hiding out in one shitty fort after another for the last seven years, eating our poor food, he’s built like an absolute bulldozer. His pectorals are things of beauty, and his traps—the muscles around the back of his neck and shoulders—are thick and prominent. God, I just want to lick this man all over. I squeeze one big arm, fascinated by him. “How have you stayed so muscular in the After on what we eat in the forts?”
He laughs, the sound breathless and full of surprise. “I don’t always eat what you do? Sometimes I sneak out and go hunting.”
“Well, whatever it is, keep doing it.” I move my hands down his rippled stomach. There’s not an ounce of fat on the man, or a hint of give. He’s just…perfect, right down to the massive log pushing against the front of his sweatpants. “Oh, hello there.” I drag my hand over the front of his pants, outlining his length.
The breath hisses out from his lungs and he jerks away from me, falling backward.
I stumble back a little myself, clutching my hand to my chest. “Are you okay? Liam? Atalim?”
He pants, staring up at the ceiling. One hand fists at his side, then slowly unclenches. “I just…was not expecting that.”
“Should I not touch you there?”
Liam sits up slowly, his eyes hot slits of golden need. “I should tell you to stop, but I can’t.”
I bite my lip and then smile at him. “I’ll call out any moves before I do them, how’s that? OK to put my hand on your cock again?” When he gives a jerky nod, I carefully grip him, encircling his girth with my fingers—or trying to. The man’s thicker than anyone else I’ve ever touched, and even through the soft fabric of his pants, I can feel the fabric catch across the top of his cock, as if it’s got a texture of some kind there. “Man, I bet those idiots that run the sex store feel stupid now,” I say, fascinated as I slide my other hand down to cup his balls. “They don’t need dildos or anything crazy when there’s men like you around.”
“Am I not built like human men?”
“They wish,” I mutter.
He laughs, but it turns into another strangled groan when I squeeze his length again. “Your hands, Andrea. Be mindful of my seed.”
I give him a sultry look. “Is it all over the head of your cock?”
Liam bites back another growl. “Yes.”
“Then wipe it away so I can put my mouth there.”
He pants out a huff of a breath and then pulls his pants down, revealing his cock. It’s just as thick and gorgeous as I remembered, with the head a deep gold. Drops of pre-cum bead the surface, and a curl of steam rises. My mouth waters at the sight, because I desperately want to taste him, but if he says it’s dangerous, I believe him. He swipes his hand over his cock, brushing away the moisture there, only to growl in frustration when more replaces what was removed. “You keep looking at me like you’re hungry and now I can’t stop.” Liam brushes his hand over his cockhead again, then groans. “This isn’t going to work.”
“You want a condom then?” I move over to my bag and dig through it, looking for the little foil packets I snatched from the sex shop. After rummaging for a few moments, I find it and pull one small packet off the strip, then hold it out to him.
Liam gives me a curious glance. “Tell me how this works again?”
I rip open the pack with my teeth, then pull the ring of latex out and offer it to him. “You roll this down your length and….”
We both look down at his hard, erect cock. It’s enormous, the head thick and meaty, and the rest of him is so thick that I can’t even get my grip completely around him. The condom in my hand—extra large, even—doesn’t seem adequate for the job.
“Uh, maybe not.”
“Humans manage to stick their cocks in this?” He takes the condom from me and frowns at it, then tries to unroll it. Immediately, it rips and then he stares down at his fingers, now covered with spermicidal lubricant.
“Yeah, I guess that was a stupid idea. You’re not built like human men.” I grab a dirty T-shirt from my pack and wipe the lubricant off his hands. “The damn thing’s expired anyhow.”
“Expired?”
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it. I have a new idea.” And I lean forward to give him a kiss.
His mouth is hungry on mine, and our tongues tease until we’re both panting.
“What’s your new idea?” His eyes are that sexy deep gold again, and I notice that his hand’s on his cock, pulling it up against his belly as if trying to make sure he doesn’t hit me with it. Is he truly that hot to the touch?
I reach out and brush my fingers over the head of his cock before he can stop me, and gasp at how scalding hot his semen feels. I immediately wipe my fingers on my jeans, but they throb in response even after I’m done. No wonder he can’t come inside me—that would take any pleasure out of our mating. “Fuck, you’re right, that is hot.”
“Which is why I must give you my fires,” he tells me, frustration edging his voice. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I nod. Temporary setback. We’ll figure something else out. For now, I just want to go on feeling sexy with him. I lean forward and touch his face again, then nip at his lower lip. “It’s all right. We can
do a lot of things without penetration.”
“We can?”
“Oh yeah.” I don’t tell him that I learned all kinds of ways to get a guy off without him coming inside me, out of necessity from my time back in Fort Tulsa. I learned that as long as he got his nut and I was creative and sufficiently sexy? It didn’t matter that his dick didn’t get to home plate. Back then, it was necessity. Now, I just want to give Liam pleasure and show him how much I like him, even if we can’t go all the way. I didn’t expect Liam to sound so very startled, though. “Humans can get pretty creative, you know.”
“I’m learning that,” he murmurs, his gaze devouring me with a look.
I slide my hand down his chest, careful to avoid his cock. “Do you ever touch yourself, Liam?”
He groans, closing his eyes, and his body leans towards mine unconsciously. “While thinking of you? Yes.”
Oooh. I clench my thighs, because that visual image is sexy as hell. “What are you doing to me when you stroke yourself? In your mind?”
I’m fascinated when his lips part, and I see a hint of fang graze his lip. His hand tightens on his cock and he runs his fist down the length, as if unable to help himself. I lick my lips, waiting for his answer, and when it doesn’t come right away, I pull my shirt off. My nipples are outlined through the thin fabric of my bra, and it’s the next thing to go.
He groans again, stroking his cock, his gaze glued to my tits.
I sit up on my knees, close to him but not close enough to touch. With a little wiggle of my hips, I put my hands on my breasts and tease my nipples, plucking at them and toying with the points. “Did you have your mouth here?”
Liam gives another hissing breath and strokes his cock, harder. He’s entranced by my words, his gaze flicking between my mouth and the nipples I’m playing with.
“Or was it lower?” I murmur, and slide one hand to the waistband of my pants.
“Your cunt,” he rasps. “Take your pants off and show it to me. I want to see how wet you are. I want to smell you.”
