Intentional

by MK Harkins

  The door opens, and my parents are both standing there, staring at us, a surprised yet pleased expression on their faces.

  Uh-oh. I look at Mattie; her face is flushed. I’m not sure if it’s from the kiss or from the embarrassment of getting caught by my parents.

  My mom jumps in first. She rushes over to me and gives me a big hug. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re here. And you’ve brought Mattie!” She leans down to give Mattie a hug. “Mattie, I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’ve been hearing so much about you!”

  Mattie still looks a little embarrassed, but she recovers quickly. “I’m so glad to meet you also!”

  I finally remember that I’m holding the flowers. I hand them back to Mattie. Mattie takes them back, giving me a little smile. I know that smile. That smile means I’m going to need to grovel a bit for embarrassing her in front of my parents. But I know she won’t stay mad for long—she never does.

  She hands my mom the flowers. “Thank you so much for having me over.”

  My mom exclaims, “Daisies. My favorite! Thank you. Let’s get you two inside. Kaye, Nick, and the boys are out back by the pool.”

  We enter the house, and the smells are out of this world. It looks like Mom has pulled out all the stops and hired a caterer. When we were younger, we always had live-in help. My mom is unashamed that she can’t cook. She’s says she’s great at “reheating,” and that’s where her talent begins and ends. I think she really just wanted to spend the extra time with Kaye and me.

  We head back to the cabana and pool area. My nephews, Justin and Jordan, are having a cannonball contest in the deep end of the pool. I steer Mattie away from all the chaos.

  Kaye sees Mattie and rushes over to greet her. We’ve gotten together a handful of times since their first meeting at the water park. They’ve become great friends. They hug, and Kaye goes back to try to tame the boys.

  My mom comes out holding a big box. I look at her with my eyebrows raised. “What do you have there?”

  She laughs. “We couldn’t have Mattie over without showing her your childhood pictures!” I see Mattie straighten up. She leans over to where my mom has placed the box. She claps her hands with glee. I roll my eyes. This is going to be a long day. I decide to join my dad and the boys in the pool. I don’t think I want to relive my awkward middle-school years right now.

  As the afternoon progresses, I watch Mattie and my mom talk and laugh. It looks as if they’ve known each other for years, not hours. As they continue their discussion, I notice my mom hugging Mattie. I continue to watch as she takes Mattie’s face in her hands and talks to her seriously about something. It looks like they are both crying. I’m assuming it’s a good cry, but I make my way there just to be sure.

  “Hey, Mom, you making my girlfriend cry?” I ask jokingly. I can already tell that they’ve bonded over pictures.

  She responds, “Yes, Jeremy. You have a problem with that?”

  Mattie is smiling over at me, enjoying our exchange. I ask her, “Do you need me to rescue you?”

  She replies, “Nope. I’m perfect.” I can see that, so I return to the game of Marco Polo I was playing with the boys.

  After dinner, we help put away the dishes and head back to Sedona. This has been a great day for both of us.

  I loved seeing Mattie interact with my parents. I knew they would love each other; I just didn’t realize that it would be at their first meeting.

  Mattie

  I think I’m going to be sick. I don’t think I’ve been this nervous in my entire life. I am about to meet the most important people in Jeremy’s life, his parents. I know they have to be great—they raised Jeremy and Kaye—but will they like me?

  Jeremy asks me if I’m nervous. I have to tell him the truth—he’ll be able to see it even if I try to fake my way through. He knows me better than anyone. He’s trying to reassure me the best he can. He even tells me he’s nervous. I don’t think I could love him any more in this moment. He always has the right thing to say to make me feel better.

  We pull up to the gate. My stomach sinks. This can’t be his parents’ house! It looks like something Bill Gates would own. I want him to turn the car around. I wonder if it’s too late to get the flu.

  I look over at Jeremy; he’s smiling happily, oblivious to my turmoil. He’s accustomed to this; I most certainly am not. I’ve got the sweaty hands, racing-heart thing going on as Jeremy grabs my hand and leads me to the front door. He grins over at me, takes the flowers out of my hand, and wraps me up in his arms for a passionate kiss.

  What is he doing? Just as I’m about to give him a good, hard shove, I hear the front door opening. No, this can’t be happening. Maybe it’s the butler or something. I pray it’s the butler as I look up at the doorway. It looks like I’m out of luck, because staring back at us are Jeremy’s parents. Both of them. They stand together, smiling. I’ve seen his parents’ pictures on display at Jeremy’s house, so my last hope of a stranger watching us kiss evaporates. He is in so much trouble.

  Jeremy hands the flowers back to me so I can give them to his mom. He still has that grin on his face. He formally introduces us, and we head out to the backyard.

  I immediately relax when I see Jeremy’s sister, Kaye, and her family goofing off at the pool. Kaye and I have become good friends in the past six months; it’s wonderful to see her friendly face. Her husband, Nick, is also a great guy.

  Jeremy steers me around to avoid all the splashing going on at the pool, and we settle at a table with a little shade. I look around at the beautiful surroundings. The entire backyard is covered in a beautiful gray cobblestone. There is a citrus grove and a potting shed over to the side. The pool is huge and takes up much of the space, with lush plants and flowers surrounding it.

  Jeremy scoots his chair over next to mine and holds my hand. I relax a little more and smile back at him. I can’t stay mad at him for long.

  Just as I am starting to wonder where Jeremy’s mom has gone, she comes out and sets a large box on the table. She’s brought pictures of Jeremy when he was young. I am so excited, I can barely contain myself. Jeremy looks uncomfortable. I wonder if he ever wore braces. This will be so much fun!

  Cindy looks at me with a smile. “If you think Jeremy is handsome now, you should see him when he was five!” She starts rifling through the pictures.

  Jeremy gets up from the table. “I think I’m going to join Dad and the boys; I brought my swim trunks.” I laugh. I don’t think he was expecting this. It looks like the tables have been turned.

  I settle in and enjoy a nice long chat with Cindy. I feel nostalgic because she reminds me of my mother. She’s warm and nurturing, kindhearted and funny. I knew I would like her, but I didn’t know that I would start to love her.

  When I tell her that she reminds me of my mom, she gets tears in her eyes, gives me a hug, and says, “Mattie, I consider you my daughter already. My son has never been happier. I don’t think his life had purpose until he met you. I am so happy you are in his life.”

  I tell her, “What a relief! I was so worried.”

  She shakes her head and places her hands on my cheeks. “Mattie, I love you already. I loved you before you even walked in the door. You’ve changed Jeremy’s life; he loves you so much.”

  Now I’m crying. I don’t know if the emotion is relief or joy. I think it’s a mixture of both.

  We enjoy a lovely dinner and great conversation. It’s so much fun to hear all the stories Cindy and Bill share about their children growing up. Jeremy has already told me most of them, but it’s interesting hearing his parents tell them from a different perspective.

  We leave reluctantly after we all say our good-byes. Once we get in the car, I put my head on Jeremy’s shoulder and say, “You were right.”

  Chapter 11

  July

  Jeremy

  I’m going to propose to Mattie. As I close my eyes and imagine it, a warm, peaceful feeling spreads throughout my body. I picture Mattie and me marrie
d, with children. Lots of children. The thought of it puts a huge smile on my face. Mattie will make a great mom. She’s everything a child would want—gentle, kind, and loving. She’s beautiful inside and out.

  I want a lifetime with Mattie. I love her more than I thought was humanly possible. I thought I would be nervous about making a commitment like this. I’m not—I’m just damn excited.

  I think about how different my life would have been without her. I’d probably still be working myself into an early grave. I knew I needed to change, not only for Mattie, but for myself.

  Now that I look back, it has become clear to me why I put so much into my career. Mattie has helped me to see things for what they really are. I was unaware that I was using work and success to fill a void, a remnant from my childhood that hadn’t been resolved. Little did I know that the success I achieved was actually preventing me from moving forward. I was stuck in my old habit—trying to show the world that I was worthy.

  I used my accomplishments to prove to myself that my birth mother gave up something valuable. The rational part of my brain knows that my mom did what she thought was best for me. I doubt myself sometimes. Did I do something wrong? Did I demand too much from her? What made her finally decide to give me away? Did she ever think about me before she died?

  I don’t remember very much about her. The last, hazy memory I have is of her crying. Was she sad, regretful, or guilty? Have I been trying to prove that it was a mistake for her to give me away? That I was worth keeping? I have shoved these feeling down for as long as I can remember.

  I know my questions will never be answered. With Mattie in my life, the questions aren’t as important to me as they once were. I have accepted my life for what it is. I have everything I need now; I am looking forward to the future. The old void in my heart is gone; it’s replaced with Mattie’s love and acceptance.

  I enter the jewelry store with determination. I am going to find Mattie the perfect ring. I have made an appointment in advance, so they are all ready for me. They’ve already set out ten of the most dazzling rings I’ve ever seen.

  I’ve given them my price range, so I think I’m looking at the best of what they have to offer. There’s only one thing wrong: these rings are too big. I know when it comes to engagement rings, you usually can’t go wrong with large, but Mattie isn’t like that. No, she would feel awkward with a huge ring.

  I ask the salesclerk for more choices. I think I’ve startled him, because he looks confused. “Did you not want to see the best, sir?”

  I smile. “Yes, I do. Does that necessary mean the biggest? Do you have anything that is a little more understated?”

  His eyes brighten for a moment. “Ah, I think I know what you’re talking about. I have a ring in back that I think might fit your requirements.”

  He rushes off to the back of the store. I hope he doesn’t bring back another gaudy ring. It needs to be classically beautiful, just like Mattie.

  He returns a few minutes later with a knowing grin on his face. He holds out a black-velvet box and opens the lid. I exhale loudly; I didn’t even know I was holding my breath. The ring is perfection. It’s an antique white-gold band with a two-carat, pale-yellow, round brilliant-cut diamond. The salesclerk starts to ramble on about clarity, cut, weight, and certificates.

  I’ve zoned out. It doesn’t matter. I’ve found the ring I’m going to give Mattie.

  I set my next plan in motion. Mattie loves a little coastal town on the Oregon coast—Cannon Beach. I’ve made reservations for a weekend next month at a waterfront home that sits in front of the famous Haystack Rock.

  Mattie has been talking about this place ever since I met her. She told me it’s her favorite place in the world—she compares it to heaven.

  Apparently, Mattie and her parents spent every summer vacationing there during her childhood years.

  I want to start our own family tradition by proposing to her right on the beach. We can take our own children there in the future.

  Chapter 12

  December

  Mattie

  I’m getting married next month! A feeling of excitement flows through my body. I’m on a plane, headed to a graphic-design seminar in Miami, Florida. This will be a good diversion from all the wedding prep I’ve been doing. The wedding will be small, but it has been taking up a lot of my time lately. I can’t wait to be Jeremy’s wife.

  The next couple days will be a great opportunity for me to learn about new software, color design, social networking, and many other useful topics related to graphic-design. I’m excited about the seminar, but I’m going to miss Jeremy so much. I’ll be gone two whole days. This will be the first time we’ve been separated since we met.

  I think back on the past year with Jeremy. I let the warm feeling of love envelop me. Jeremy. I can’t imagine a person on Earth who would be better suited for me. The connection was instant, and it hasn’t let up since. It keeps getting better and better. We have built such a beautiful life together. I’m so excited to move in with him!

  I already know that we are going to be compatible living together. I’ve even changed my messy cleaning habits. After meeting his sister, I knew what I needed to do. If Jeremy could go through everything he did at such an early age, then I could learn to pick up after myself. Once Jeremy noticed my efforts, he teased me with comments like “I fell in love with the Tornado Woman—where did she go?” It’s amazing that I knew so early on that Jeremy was my soul mate. I love him so much.

  Jeremy has done so much for me, for us. He has totally changed his lifestyle for our future. He honored his promise to cut back his work hours right after our talk in his office. I knew it would be difficult for him, but he proved to me that he was a man of his word. Since then, we’ve spent every day together, enjoying each other and life.

  It took a while, but I finally convinced Sarah that Jeremy was the real deal. She could see how much I loved him. Also, no one could dispute his devotion to me. For the first six months, Sarah would bring me all sorts of office gossip. I would just shake my head and tell her, “No, that’s not true.” I knew better. I would trust Jeremy with my life. When Jeremy and I started spending every day together, it was hard for Sarah to bring forward any more claims of cheating. When would he have the time?

  Even if we spent only one day a week together, I would know that Jeremy would never do anything like that.

  It’s Thursday night, and I’m exhausted. I packed in every workshop I could during the past two days. I’ve learned so much. I’m excited to get back to Sedona to implement some of the new design techniques I know will be beneficial to my clients.

  I finished with my last workshop today at 5:00 p.m., and I’m tucked away for the night in my hotel. I look at my cell phone to see if I have any missed calls. It looks like Jeremy called at 12:00 p.m. and Sarah called at 4:30 p.m. I think their holiday office party started a couple hours ago, so it should be in full swing.

  I decide to call Jeremy first. He picks up after three rings. “Hi?” His voice sounds different.

  “Hi, Jeremy! I’m all wrapped up—I’m so excited to get home!”

  There is a pause. “Jeremy?”

  “Hey, Mattie, baby. How ehr yuhh?”

  Okay, I can see where this is going. I chuckle. “I can tell your office party is going just fine.”

  He must be kicking up his heels; he never has more than one drink, maybe two. “Yep. Goid paatry.” Now I’m a little worried; he can’t even speak straight.

  “Jeremy? Jeremy! Can you please give Don the phone?” Don is Jeremy’s partner; he’ll know what’s going on.

  “Sursh.” I wait for a minute; I can hear some fumbling, and the phone drops to the floor.

  Don picks up. “Hey! How are you, Mattie?”

  “I’m okay, but I’m a little concerned about Jeremy. What’s going on?”

  He laughs. “Oh, he’s only had a couple glasses of our punch. I don’t think he’s eaten lunch yet. I’ll make sure he gets some f
ood in him before I call for a taxi.”

  I’m relieved. “Good. I’m glad to hear he won’t be driving when he’s like this. So he’s okay?”

  He laughs. “Oh, he’s feeling no pain! He’ll be all right. I’ll make sure he gets home safe and sound.”

  That’s all I need to hear. “Thanks, Don!”

  That was strange. Jeremy never drinks to excess. Obviously, he needs to let off some steam. Before I can stop it, an errant thought runs through my brain. Could he be getting cold feet? I know getting married after only a year seems quick to most people, but not to us. I’ve never questioned it before, and I don’t think he has either. Jeremy seems sincerely excited about getting married. I hope he would tell me if he was feeling nervous or anything. No, I’m just being silly.

  I lie down on the bed and try to relax. I need to put my questions aside for the night. As I start to drift off, I get a text from Sarah.

  Sarah: Mattie, ru back yet?

  Me: Hi, what’s going on?

  Sarah: Jeremy’s really sick. I think he threw up a few times before Don called him a taxi.

  Me: What? He went alone?

  Sarah: No. I think David went home with him to make sure he got in ok. You should probably check in on him when you get back tomorrow.

  Me: Ok—I’ll be there around 9:30 in the morning. Thanks for letting me know!

  Sarah: No problem. I’ll cu tomorrow!

  That was nice of Sarah to let me know about Jeremy. I want to call him to see if he’s okay, but if he’s not feeling well, I really don’t want to bother him. I sit and consider it a bit. Oh, I can’t stand this. I dial his number, and it goes straight to voice mail. Well, I guess that settles that. I tell myself that he’ll be fine. I wish his phone was turned on!