“Shh.” He held one finger to his lips.
“You frightened me. I wasn’t expecting you to be here yet,” she whispered as she climbed in. When Helen had finished with the buggy that morning, she’d left it positioned so that anyone in the driver’s seat would have an unobstructed view of the front of the house and along the north side, where her aunt had her bedroom.
“Did you put fresh flour on the outside of the doors like I told you?”
She nodded and then realized he couldn’t see that in the dark. “I did just as you suggested. I also put some in front of my aunt’s bedroom door. Anyone who goes that way will leave footprints. He has to be getting out her window somehow, but for the life of me I can’t see how he is getting up to it. There’s nothing under it that he can climb up on. Even standing on his hind legs, he can barely reach the window ledge with his front feet. I’m beginning to think he flies up by flapping those long ears.”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous is sitting in front of my aunt’s house in the dead of night spying on a dog.”
“You can go back in if you want.”
“And miss the sight of Clyde flying out an open window? No way.”
“He doesn’t usually show up at my place until three or four in the morning. That means we may have a long wait ahead of us. Some nights he doesn’t come in all. Are you sure you are up to this?”
“I’m as eager to solve this riddle as you are.” But was she? Having Mark arrive with Clyde in time for breakfast and then drive her to work was something she enjoyed, but she could hardly admit that to Mark.
“I suggest that we take turns watching while the other one gets some rest. I can take the first watch.”
“That’s very practical, but I’m not the least bit sleepy at the moment. Why don’t I take the first watch?”
“Okay.” He scooted down to rest his head against the seat back and folded his arms across his chest.
His wide shoulders took up so much room that Helen had to scoot over to put a little distance between them so that their arms and shoulders weren’t touching. She soon realized that not touching him didn’t help. His presence beside her in the dark left her nerves standing on end. She scooted farther away, but that made the door handle poke her hip. She huffed and scooted back an inch.
He lifted his hat from over his face. “Is something wrong?”
“Nee, I’m just trying to get comfortable.”
“It’s hard to sleep with you bouncing up and down on the seat.”
“I’m not bouncing up and down,” she snapped.
“It feels like it to me.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be still.”
He lowered his hat over his face. “Goot.”
Helen stuck her tongue out at him and then had to stifle a giggle. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been that childish or enjoyed such excitement.
“What’s so funny?” he asked without looking.
“Nothing,” she said quickly and folded her hands primly in her lap. If Mark wasn’t uncomfortable with their close proximity, then she wouldn’t be, either. She focused her attention on the silent house. A three-quarter moon rose behind her and cast long black shadows in the gray darkness. The slow progress of the moon across the night sky was the only way to tell the passage of time.
Twice, she jerked herself upright after starting to doze off. Finally, she gave in and shook Mark’s arm. He sat up. “Did you see something?”
“Nothing but the inside of my eyelids. It’s your turn to keep watch.”
He leaned forward to look up at the night sky. “It must be after two. Get some sleep, if you can. I’ll wake you if I see a dog gliding out the window with his ears outstretched.”
“Please do.” Now that Mark was awake, Helen realized she was no longer sleepy. She sat silent for a few minutes then leaned toward him. “Have you ever done anything like this before?”
“Nope.”
“Me neither.”
“I find it hard to believe that a woman desirous of an independent life hasn’t done a little sneaking around after dark.”
“I did my share of running around with my friends as most Amish teens do during their rumspringa.”
“And where did the scandalous Helen Zook go?”
“To the movies. Twice, no, three times. I went to five or six barn parties, but I didn’t care for the loud music and dancing the kids were doing. Where did you go when you sneaked away from home?”
“I never did.”
She turned to face him. Her eyes had adjusted to the dark. “Are you serious? You never slipped out to attend a movie or a barn dance or to have your Englisch friends drive you to a party?”
“Nope.”
“I never figured you for a square.”
“I was the oldest in the family. I had a responsibility to be a role model for the younger ones.”
“Your responsibility is something you take seriously, isn’t it?”
“Absolutely.”
“I wasn’t so goot.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
She heard the humor in his voice and knew he was teasing. “I never did anything I was ashamed of back then. I gave it all up when I took my baptismal vows. Have you taken yours?”
“I have. Three years ago.”
“Because you intended to marry the girl back home?”
He shook his head. “We didn’t have an understanding then. I knew I was going to remain Amish and saw no reason to delay.”
“Was there anything that you hated to give up?” She tried to imagine the stern young man he would have been. In truth, he probably wasn’t a lot different from the way he was now.
“I didn’t like giving up my education. I got permission from our bishop to attend business night classes at a local high school. The teacher there took an interest in me and did some private tutoring. She made sure I expanded my vocabulary. After that, I read extensively. I still do. I don’t feel there is anything crucial that I have missed by being Amish. Being close to God is worth any sacrifice. What do you miss? Parties?”
“I had a cell phone,” she admitted wistfully. “Four of my friends had them, too. We talked all the time.”
“Do you miss your friends back in Indiana?”
“I miss them and my family. I was close to my mother and father.”
“You aren’t close anymore?”
“They took my sister’s side. I was bitterly disappointed that they did. Rebecca told me a little about your family. It sounds as if your father disappointed you, too.”
He was silent for so long that Helen thought he wasn’t going to discuss it, but eventually he cleared his throat and said, “More than once.”
* * *
Mark couldn’t believe he was sharing that part of his life with Helen. Somehow, sitting in the dark made it easier to talk. He couldn’t see the sympathy in her eyes, but he knew it was there. She cared about him as he cared about her. The tenderness she evoked in him was unlike anything he’d ever known. Was it possible he was falling for her? He pushed the thought aside and refused to examine it.
“Some people say talking about your troubles helps,” she said softly.
“Some people are wrong,” he quoted her own words back to her.
“A few of them are right. In what way did your father disappoint you?”
“It’s ancient history. You don’t want to hear it.”
“Mark, you and I have become friends. You have helped me so much. I won’t judge you or your family. If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
He did want her to know, and that surprised him. “It’s no dark secret. Many know my father is a failure in just about every sense of the word. He never could hold a job. He couldn’t take care of m
y mother when she became ill. I was sent to live with anyone who said I could stay with them. Most people were very kind. A few were not. They saw me as an unpaid laborer, and I had to work very hard. Every time Daed dropped me off with a new friend or relative, I didn’t know if he would come back for me. He’d be gone for months without sending any word. Then one day he would show up, and we’d be together for a few weeks before I was sent away again.”
“That must have been terrible for a small child.”
It soothed his soul that she understood. “Fortunately, when I was eight, he sent me to live with Isaac and Anna. That was the best thing that ever happened to me. I became a part of a real family. I saw how a mother and father could work together to provide for their children. I saw carefully laid plans brought to fruition by hard work.”
“But you eventually went back to live with your father.”
“He met and married a fine woman. The day I met my new mother, I met my new brother, Paul. We hit it off and became best friends. I have five younger sisters now, too, but it was years before I got over the fear that my father would send me away again. He still bounces from job to job, but Mamm has put her foot down. She won’t move. Paul and I send money home for her and the girls. Daed is the reason I’ve got to make a success of my business back home.”
“Are you hoping to impress him or prove that you can do what he never could?”
He shook his head. “You have it all wrong. If I am running a successful business, he will always have a job with me no matter how often he quits and comes back. Best of all, I will be living and working a short walk down the road from my family. My sisters will never have to worry about being split up and sent away if something should happen to their mother.”
Helen leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
He froze in astonishment, glad she couldn’t see how red his face must be turning.
She sat back. “You are a much better person than I am.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“You wouldn’t if you knew more about me.”
He cleared his throat. “I told you about my past and my plans. Turnabout is fair play.”
“I’m serious. I wasn’t a nice person. I don’t want to lower your opinion of me.”
He wanted her to trust him enough to confide in him. “My opinion of you has gone from pretty low to fairly high in the space of two short weeks. I accept who you are now. Not who you were before. But if you don’t wish to tell me, I understand.”
* * *
Helen hesitated. Not because she didn’t believe him but because she didn’t like to remember the hurt she had caused. He waited patiently without saying anything else, so she asked God for strength and started speaking. “Do you remember me telling you that my fiancé announced he wanted to marry my sister a few weeks before our wedding?”
“I remember.”
“That isn’t the whole story. Joseph was considered an excellent catch in our community. His grandfather is our bishop. His father owns a prosperous farm, and Joseph was his only son.” She wished she could gloss over the rest, but it was time to admit that she had been at fault, too.
“My friends and I were all smitten with Joseph. We were shocked when he bypassed us and asked my sister, Olivia, to walk out with him. Olivia is gentle and quiet. She’s never said a bad word against anyone. She works hard and never complains, but she isn’t the brightest person. She didn’t do well in school.”
“School grades don’t determine a person’s success in life.”
“I know, but it was humiliating that my little sister was going out with the most eligible man in our district. I set out to take him away from her. I was coy, I used flattery, I put it into my sister’s head that he really liked me and was just being kind to her. She believed me and stopped going out with him. I consoled him after telling him she wasn’t in love with him. I made sure I saw him often. One day, he asked to walk out with me.”
“That doesn’t seem like the Helen Zook I know.”
“The Lord has taken me down a peg or two since that time, and I deserved it. Eventually, Joseph proposed to me, and I had everything I desired. Then his mother became ill. Olivia went to help care for her. In the weeks that she worked for his family, Joseph rediscovered what a treasure Olivia is. He asked me to release him from his promise. I said no. Eventually, he got up the courage to take matters into his own hands. He told my parents and his grandfather, the bishop, that he could not in good conscience marry me.”
“It was for the best.”
“I know that now but I didn’t then. Word of my humiliation spread quickly. The morning of their wedding, I decided to leave. I never told anyone where I was going. I wasn’t sure Charlotte would take me in. When she heard my version of the story, she wasn’t as sympathetic as I expected, but she let me stay for the summer.”
“So you weren’t in love with Joseph?”
“That’s the irony of it. I grew to care a great deal for Joseph, and I prayed he would one day love me half as much as he loved my sister. The tears you saw me weeping on the bus were real. I was selfish and cruel, and I didn’t deserve his love. I hurt two kind and gentle people with my false pride. I ran away rather than face what I had done. I left them to worry and wonder where I was rather than offering them the blessings they deserve. I did find the courage to write my parents and tell them where I’m staying. They haven’t written back yet. So now you know.”
“I don’t think any less of you for hearing this story. You have recognized your flaws, and you seek to overcome them. You have shown compassion to Charlotte. I’ve seen you work hard at your job and at your baking business. I’m pleased to call you my friend.”
Mark was more understanding than she deserved. Her attempts to keep her feelings for him those of a friend were quickly coming undone. “Angela is a blessed woman,” she whispered.
He looked away. “Angela has had a change of heart. She has ended our understanding.”
“What? How could she? Why would she?” Helen’s voice rose. He hushed her with a finger to his lips.
“Did she say why?” Helen whispered.
“She didn’t give a reason in her letter to me. I heard from her father yesterday. He wrote to say she has not given him a reason, either. Only that she believes she made a mistake in agreeing in the first place. He says he will continue to try to persuade her to honor her agreement, but he considers I am at fault, too, for staying away and not securing her affections after all this time. He also says he will not sell me the land I need unless we are wed.”
“You should go home and find out what’s wrong. As a friend and as a woman, I’m telling you that you need to speak to Angela in person.”
* * *
It wasn’t the reaction he expected from Helen, but he wasn’t sure what he thought she would say. “I will give some thought to your suggestion. It seems pointless to spend the money to travel now when I return for good in another month.”
“You shouldn’t delay.”
Was she right? Without the property he wanted or the money he had paid to Angela, he had no option left but to start over from scratch. His well-thought-out plans had come to nothing. He was at fault. He saw that now. He had neglected to consider Angela’s needs in their arrangement, but rushing back to her wasn’t the answer. Even if she changed her mind, he couldn’t enter into a loveless marriage. It wasn’t Angela he wanted by his side for the rest of his life. It was Helen.
Movement on the north side of the house caught his attention. Glad for the distraction, he sat up straight. “Something is going on.”
“Can you see what?”
It was hard to distinguish things in the patchwork of shadows cast by the moon. “It looks like your aunt is sticking something out of her window.”
“I think you’re right. Is that a board?”
The words were no sooner out of his mouth than Clyde scrambled out the window and trotted down the plank. He took off at a run toward the Bowman house. Helen looked at Mark. “She lied to my face.”
“Technically, she didn’t. She said she did not open the front door or the back door for him.”
Helen scrambled out of the buggy. “She lied by omission, and she has a lot of explaining to do.”
“You talk to her. I’m going to try and intercept Clyde before he wakes the household.”
“Take my bike.”
“Danki, but my horse and buggy are just down the road.”
* * *
Helen entered the house and went straight into her aunt’s bedroom without knocking. Charlotte was pulling the outside board in through the wide-open window. An identical board led from the window to the floor. Clyde had merely trotted up, over and out.
“Aenti, what do you think you are doing?”
Charlotte spun around with the slats in her hands. She crossed the room and slipped them under her mattress. “I’m making my bed dear. Is there something you need?” She tucked the sheet in and turned to face Helen.
“I need an explanation. Mark and I saw you let Clyde out the window.”
Charlotte clasped her hands behind her back. “You did?”
“Why would you want to annoy the Bowmans like this?”
“Oh, I’m not trying to annoy the Bowmans. Anna is a good friend of mine. Clyde wanted to make sure Mark had an opportunity to spend time with you.”
“Don’t put any of this on Clyde. He’s a dog. You, on the other hand, know better. Poor Mark has missed hours of sleep because of you.”
“I’m trying to tell you it wasn’t entirely my idea. Clyde likes Mark and you, too. He thinks the two of you belong together. I’ve merely been helping Clyde achieve his goal. He fancies himself something of a matchmaker.”
“I don’t care what Clyde thinks. Mark and I are friends, and that’s all. He is leaving in a few weeks, and I will probably never see him again.” The words tightened Helen’s throat. She was going to miss him. She hadn’t realized how much until this moment.
An Unexpected Amish Romance Page 14
