by Angel Hunter
“Love you too,” Elsie said into the phone before hanging up.
She stood, stretched her long legs, grabbed her briefcase, and headed down the hall. By the time she arrived at the conference room, everyone was sitting and making small talk.
“Elsie, your suit is nice,” Crystal complimented, taking in the chocolate-colored single-breasted jacket and cuff pants with relaxed legs.
“Thanks.” Elsie sat down, legs slightly open, and started playing with the small diamond hoops that hung from her ears. She always wore pants, never dresses or skirts, and definitely not tight clothing. The clothing she possessed was made for comfort. She could sit however she pleased and have room to move.
Susan looked over in her direction and nodded her greeting. “I thought we would go over our agenda for the upcoming month.”
Elsie looked at her, wanting to say, “How about we not?” She didn’t. Instead, she just nodded to keep the peace as they started a two-hour discussion on cases pending. A couple of times, Elsie found her attention slipping in and out of the meeting. She was thinking about her girlfriend, Summer, who wanted them to live together.
“I’m tired of feeling like a secret,” Summer complained once again.
So, Elsie went against what she felt and promised her that she would move in. She regretted it the second she said it. It wasn’t because she wanted to hide her female lover, but because she enjoyed her space. She liked not having to answer to anyone. She treasured her privacy.
Elsie had always been a private person. Her life was her life. She was not one to gossip and judge. She stayed to herself throughout high school and college. All major decisions she made alone. One of those decisions was starting a relationship with a woman.
She was in high school when she first realized that her hormones geared her toward her own. It frightened her so much that she started dating this guy named Troy, someone she knew was a dog.
The relationship and the lovemaking was a disaster. It did nothing for her. She didn’t see fireworks nor did she feel any. All it felt like was something banging away at her insides. Instead of moaning, she cried during and afterwards. Troy thought it was because he was that good or because she loved him. She knew it was because she hated what she had just done, and she was not being true to herself.
Elsie stayed in denial and continued to see him. Each time they made love, she felt like a piece of her was lost. When she graduated from high school and left for college, she didn’t try to contact him. She didn’t want him to know where she was. She had grown tired of betraying herself.
It wasn’t until Elsie went to college that she made the decision to be with women. Janay was her name, and she was not only Elsie’s first female lover, but also her first true love. After college, they broke up then got back together years later, only to break up again two years ago.
Elsie met Janay on campus while participating in a fashion show. Elsie could have been a top model if she had chosen that path. She certainly had more than enough opportunity to do so. The offers came repeatedly. But not one to bring attention to herself, she turned the offers down.
Short on funds, Elsie decided to take part in a fashion show. One evening, she was at practice when in walked Janay. As soon as Elsie saw her, she knew. She knew she was attracted to her and it scared her. It frightened her to the point that it made her nauseous. She ran into the bathroom.
While Elsie threw up, Janay entered and stood behind her. “Are you okay?”
No, I’m not, Elsie thought. I’m attracted to you in a big way and it’s scaring the mess out of me. Out loud she told her, “I ate something that didn’t quite agree with me.”
Janay pulled a bottle of Tums out of her purse and handed them to her. “I carry these everywhere I go.”
Elsie accepted them and thanked her, She tried to stay calm during the rest of the evening, but it was damn near impossible. An hour before practice was over, Elsie heard Janay arguing on the phone. She was almost in tears. When she hung up, Elsie went over and asked her if everything was okay.
“No. My girlfriend just broke up with me.”
Elsie thought she’d heard her wrong. “Did you just say your girlfriend?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.” Elsie shifted on the heels of her shoes.
Janay looked Elsie up and down then asked her out for drinks. “I don’t feel like going home and being by myself,” she told her.
Elsie’s mind was telling her to say no, but her curiosity convinced her to say yes. After a number of drinks, Janay drove Elsie home. Full of liquor and courage, Elsie invited her up. They must have been in the house all of five minutes before they embraced.
Elsie pulled away and told her, “I’ve never kissed a woman before.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” Janay pulled Elsie to the couch and they shared a passionate kiss. It was the kind of kiss Elsie wanted to share with a man but was unable to, the kind of kiss that stirred something deep within her. It was a kiss that changed her life and would define her sexuality.
TIME TO GO
Sitting in that conference room for two hours was hell. Susan did most of the talking, which was nothing new. It took everything in Jewell’s power not to nod off. Crystal looked like her mind was elsewhere, and Elsie was her normal quiet self. When they told her she could step out, Jewell almost sprinted. The day proceeded as usual—a whole lot of typing and a little bit of fun. The fun was only when Jewell had a chance to sneak on the phone and converse with her best friend, Kim.
Glancing up at the clock for the fifth time, Jewell saw closing time. If she left in the next few minutes, she would have time to get her hair flat-combed. She started clearing off her desk, but not before she glanced at the picture of her son, Tyson, and his father, King. She knew she needed to change it and put a recent picture in its place, but for sentimental reasons she just couldn’t. Crystal and Susan were coming out of their offices. Noticing Jewell packing up, Crystal asked, “Is it that time already?”
“Yes, it is,” Jewell said, thinking about her date.
Susan stepped forward, threw a file on Jewell’s desk, and told her, “I need this typed up.”
This was the kind of shit that pissed Jewell off. Susan always waited until the last minute to give her something to do. Susan and Crystal started to walk away when Jewell cleared her throat and announced, “I don’t have time to do this.”
Susan stopped in her tracks, turned around, and said, “Excuse me?”
“I don’t have time to do this. It’s time for me to leave.”
“Is it your babysitter? You can’t call and say you’ll be a little late?”
“No, it’s not my babysitter. I have plans for this evening that can’t be disrupted.”
Crystal just took it all in. She was curious as to how Jewell would handle Susan. She’d seen this confrontation coming for quite some time—Susan demanding her work get done first, Susan not acknowledging what an excellent job Jewell was doing, and Susan being bitchy was bound to start a fight.
“Don’t you think your job is more important?” Susan asked.
Before Jewell could say a word, Elsie came out of her office. She was on the way to the bathroom but stopped short when she saw the tight faces on everyone. “What’s going on here?” Elsie asked.
No one responded.
“Well?” Susan asked.
Now Jewell had three choices. One was to stay, and she definitely wasn’t going to do that. The second choice was to go off and tell Susan that she was tired of being treated like she didn’t matter. Choice three was to handle the matter professionally. She chose to go with the combination of two and three.
Well, here goes. Jewell started, “First of all, it bothers me that you always wait until the last minute to give me work to do. I’m here all day, and Crystal and Elsie utilize me during that time, but not you. It’s always right before it’s time for me to leave that you throw something on my desk.”
“Well, you are the
secretary, and it’s your job.”
“When I was first hired, I didn’t make it a secret that I might need a little flexibility being a single mom and all. I don’t mind staying late sometimes, but a little notice would be appreciated. I have a life outside of this office and a family, and I think you should take that into consideration. I’ve been here for almost a year and feel like I’m still trying to earn my stripes from you.”
Susan placed her hands on her hips. “So, are you telling me you’re not staying?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” Jewell answered with confidence that she didn’t feel. As badly as she needed this job, her integrity was more important. She was not about to lose her self-respect over it. She knew that speaking her mind might backfire, but so far neither Crystal nor Elsie gave her any inkling that they would fire her.
Susan fixed her face to tell Jewell that if she couldn’t stay, she shouldn’t bother coming back at all. Before she could get a word out, Crystal told Jewell, “Try to come in a little early tomorrow to get it done.”
Smiling, Jewell said, “Thanks.” She grabbed her briefcase and jacket from behind the chair and sprinted out the door.
Susan was furious. She turned toward Crystal and asked, “What the hell did you do that for?”
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Elsie walked away.
“You need to check your tone.” Crystal didn’t care how pissed Susan was. She too refused to be disrespected. Susan was her partner, not her boss.
“That was between me and Jewell. If I wanted her dismissed, I would have done so myself.”
“Dismissed? Susan, you need a reality check.” Crystal started to walk away.
“I think we should fire her. I’m one her bosses, and she straight out defied me.”
Stopping in her tracks, Crystal faced Susan. “You know what I think? I think you need to take it down. I think you need to go home, take a bath, and relax before making a rash decision to fire someone because you’re having a bad day. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how moody you’ve been lately. Taking it out on others is just plain wrong.”
Susan couldn’t say a word because she knew Crystal was right. She was having a bad day. Hell, she was having a bad month. She hadn’t heard from her friend Timothy in quite some time. It was like he disappeared off the face of the earth. Not only was she worried about him, but she wasn’t sleeping well either. She was on the edge and about to fall off.
“Maybe you’re right,” Susan confessed
Walking over to Susan, Crystal took her hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Susan moved her hand from under Crystal’s. “No. I’ve got it under control.”
Crystal was not convinced. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You know I’m here for you. You can talk to me anytime. You do know that, don’t you?”
“I know.” Susan glanced at her watch. “Look, I’ve got phone calls to make.”
Crystal tried to read Susan’s face. It wasn’t working. “All right. Just remember what I said.”
They went their separate ways. Susan went to get high and Crystal went to take care of some personal business over the phone and online.
Crystal logged off the computer and sat back in her chair. She gazed out the window and thought about Susan’s odd behavior. Even when paying her bills, she couldn’t get Susan off her mind. As she stood up and stretched, she made the decision to stop by Susan’s office to see what was up.
Crystal walked out of her office, past Jewell’s empty chair, and tried to decide what she would say to Susan to get her to open up. As she approached Susan’s closed door, she wondered if it was locked. Placing her hand on the doorknob and turning it, she saw that it was. She knocked. There was no reply. Crystal placed her ear to the door. She could hear some movement, so she knocked harder.
“Who is it?” Susan called out.
“It’s Crystal.”
Susan took a quick look in the mirror and made sure her nose was clean, then she opened the door. She wasn’t surprised to find Crystal standing behind it. After all, she was usually the only one who came to her office unannounced. “What’s up?” Susan greeted.
Crystal glanced around the room while entering. “Keeping your door locked now?”
“Just needed a little privacy,” Susan responded, spotting a short straw on the floor. There was no way she could cover it up or bend down to pick it up without Crystal noticing.
“I just thought I’d see if you wanted to talk about what’s bothering you,” Crystal said.
“It’s not anything I want to discuss right now.”
“I’m just concerned. You seem so on edge lately.”
Susan shrugged.
“So, that’s how it is?” Crystal could tell she wasn’t getting through to Susan.
“That’s how it is.”
“Susan . . .” Crystal wasn’t ready to give up.
“Please,” Susan interrupted. “I told you there’s nothing to talk about.”
Without another word, Crystal turned and left the room. She waited by the elevator. When the door opened, she was surprised to see Lange standing inside.
“So, we run into each other once again. How was your day?” he asked.
“Productive.”
“Your locks are beautiful.”
Crystal looked up at Lange. Where the hell did that come from? “Thanks.”
“Crystal?” Lange started.
“Yes?”
“How about I walk you to your car?”
“Oh, that’s okay.” She didn’t want to be alone with him in a garage.
“I really don’t mind.” He started to follow her.
They walked toward the garage in an awkward silence, both feeling the sparks flying between them.
“That’s my car over there.” Crystal pointed to the Lexus.
Lange followed and stood by the car as she opened the door and climbed in. She started her car and rolled down the window. “Thanks.”
Shifting back and forth, Lange massaged his chin, leaned over and said, “Would you like to have lunch some time?”
“I don’t know.”
“As friends.” It seemed to Crystal that his face was getting closer and closer. “We can get to know one another. Plus, I might need your advice on something.”
Before Crystal could answer, Lange’s lips were almost touching hers. The only thing that stopped a kiss was the ringing of his cell phone.
Lange jumped back and pressed the answer button. “Hello?”
Crystal mouthed, “I have to go,” and pulled off.
On the way home, Crystal beat herself up mentally. What the heck am I doing, almost kissing a married man? I know that shit is not kosher. She tried to think of other things, but was unable. Her imagination started going to work overtime. She imagined Lange pushing her up against the elevator wall as he pressed the stop button, grabbed her hips and pulled her into him. His lips made their way to her throat.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked him.
“Yes,” he moaned while moving from her throat, to her chin to her mouth.
“Pull over.” These words pulled Crystal out of her trance.
Crystal looked in her rearview mirror to see a police car tailing her with the lights flashing. “Shit!” Crystal had no idea what she was being stopped for. She pulled over and turned off her car. Her stomach was in knots. “Okay. Get it together,” she said out loud. “You’re an adult. Either you were speeding or you ran a light. All you’re going to do is get a ticket—nothing more, nothing less.”
“Your driver’s license and registration card?” the plainclothes officer asked.
“Yes.” Crystal reached into her glove compartment, avoiding the officer’s eyes. Only a ticket, only a ticket, she reminded herself.
With shaky hands, she passed the officer her license and registration.
Looking at the ID then inside, the officer laughed. “Well, well,
well, if it isn’t Crystal Gem.”
Finally, she took a good look at the officer and was shocked to see Roger Soloman, her high school sweetheart.
“We went to school together,” he told her. “Well, actually, we dated.”
“I remember,” Crystal replied. She also remembered him breaking her heart.
“How have you been?” he asked
“Fine.”
Roger waited for more.
When Crystal caught this, she asked him, “How have you been?”
“Life has treated me good. I’m a detective, as you can see.”
An uncomfortable moment passed between them. “Why did you pull me over?” Crystal asked.
“You ran a red light.”
Bringing her hands up to her chest, she was surprised. “I did?”
“Lucky for you, this is a slow time of the evening. What were you doing?”
Crystal couldn’t think of a lie, so she was honest. “I really don’t know.”
Huffing, Roger handed her back her identification and said, “Listen, I’m going to let you go with a warning and,” he reached inside his jacket pocket, “my card. Call me. Maybe we can get together and get reacquainted.”
She took everything out of his hand and said, “Thanks.”
“Be careful on these roads.” Roger turned and headed back toward his car.
Crystal didn’t even wait until he climbed in his vehicle. She started her car and headed toward the liquor store.
THE DATE
Erykah Badu was playing in the background and Jewell was dancing around her cluttered bedroom room. Her son, Tyson, sat on the floor watching her every move.
“Mommy, what are you doing?” he wanted to know.
“I’m dancing.”
“What dance is that?”
“The Harlem Shake.”
This made Tyson laugh. “That is not how you do the Harlem Shake.”
Putting her hands on her hips, Jewell laughed and said, “Well then mister know-it-all, how about you show Mommy how to do it.”
Shaking his head, Tyson said, “Nah, I don’t feel like it.”
Plopping down on her bed, Jewell patted the spot next to her and said, “What’s up? How come you don’t feel like dancing with your mother?”
