by KP, Miss
“Hello, Miss.”
“I miss you, Rich. What are you doing?”
“Well, I just had dinner wit’ Denie, and now I’m about to go see my man Nelson for a minute.”
“When are we going to get nasty? This morning wasn’t enough for me. My pussy is yearning for you.”
“Damn, you’re makin’ me hard as shit. I’ll be on my way once I wrap up wit’ Nelson.”
“I’ll be here waiting.”
By the time I hung up wit’ Jade, my waitress was gone. However, after I paid the bill and started toward the door, I saw the waitress again. This time she gave me a seductive little smile and a wink. I knew what that meant, but I just smiled back and left.
Gettin’ to Nelson’s house as quick as possible was important so I could get back to Jade. I wanted to be inside of her so bad, but money over bitches would always be my motto. I called Nelson to let him know I was on the way. I knew I was probably interruptin’ his plans, but I let him know it would be quick.
I made it to Wheaton from downtown in less than twenty minutes. After typin’ in the code to get into the gate, I called Nelson to let him know I was comin’ upstairs to his apartment.
When Nelson opened the door he had candles lit throughout the apartment along wit’ clusters of red balloons everywhere. I even saw a few teddy bears.
“Damn am I interruptin’ somethin’ Lil’ Cassanova?” I just had to clown him.
He smiled. “Man, go ahead. Me and my girl were trying to get it in, but like you say money over bitches, so she gonna have to wait until we finish handling our shit.”
I laughed. I loved Nelson and thought it was cool how he looked up to me. He was more like me than my own son, which was crazy. See, he knew his place, whereas Juan always felt a need to compete in a game he had no win in.
After we got started, I felt bad because our initial fifteen minute meetin’ turned into an hour. Right before we wrapped everything up, the bedroom door opened and a familiar voice called out.
“Baby, how long are you gonna be?” his girl asked.
“We almost done, babe. Don’t come out here like that, you see my man in here. Go put some clothes on,” Nelson ordered. When I took my attention off the package, I turned around to see my daughter half naked in a red negligee.
“Oh my God, Daddy!” Denie said, tryin’ to cover herself up.
“What the fuck?” I turned to Nelson. “Are you fuckin’ my daughter?”
“Your daughter, your daughter. This can’t be..”
Before Nelson could finish his sentence I went off and tried to knock his fuckin’ head off his shoulders. There was nothing Denie could do to stop me from tryin’ to kill him.
“Daddy stop, get off of him, I love him, Daddy. I love him!” Denie screamed.
“Denie, get the fuck off me. I’ma kill ‘em! How long were you gonna fake and play me close so you could fuck my daughter behind my back?” I asked Nelson.
“Daddy, nooo!” Denie continued to scream.
“Unc, I didn’t know…I didn’t know man,” Nelson said as he tried to block my blows. “She never told me.”
After several more body shots, I finally stopped and looked at Denie. “Get your shit on and let’s go.” I then looked at Nelson. “You better not ever touch my fuckin’ daughter again.”
“I’m not leaving. Look at what you’ve done. He needs to go to the hospital,” Denie said.
Nelson held up his hand. “Denie, I’m fine. Just go with your father, please.”
“No, I’m not leaving you. Daddy, you need to be worrying about your wife instead of me. I saw a strange car in front of the house not to long ago, and I’m sure it belonged to another man. She’s the one cheating on you. Stay out of my personal life and worry about your own. You can’t tell me who to love,” Denie said in a bold tone.
“Denie, get dressed and let’s go now! You lied to me. You said you were goin’ out wit’ your friends!” I belted. “We just talked about trust.”
“Look at his eye, oh my God, Nelson, are you okay?”
My daughter was gonna have to hate me because there was no way she would ever see Nelson again. Not only was he too old, but he was in the streets, and I didn’t want that for her. The last thing she needed in her life was another nigga like me.
When Denie saw how serious I was, she finally ran back in the room and got herself together. After havin’ to break up an emotional goodbye, we left. At that point, I decided it would be best for Denie to go back wit’ her mother. Wit’ Juan bein’ locked up and me cuttin’ Nelson off, I couldn’t risk fuckin’ up my money. When we got in the car Denie cried the entire time. Tired of hearin’ her sob, I called Carlos to let him know what happened.
“What’s up, Rich?” Carlos answered.
“Can you believe Denie’s fuckin’ Nelson,” I blurted out. I didn’t even care that she could hear my entire conversation.
“What?” Carlos replied.
“Yeah, and she sittin’ in the car cryin’ over the nigga and shit. I’m takin’ her ass back to Lisa.” I looked at Denie. “Is Nelson the nigga you were arguin’ wit’ outside the club that night?” When Denie didn’t answer, I directed my conversation back to Carlos.
“We’re gonna have more shit to deal wit’ now. Man, Juan bein’ locked up is really fuckin’ up my bread!”
“See, I knew it was a reason why I didn’t trust that lil’ nigga.”
“Yeah, I didn’t even see this shit comin’,” I admitted. “That’s okay because I’m cuttin’ that muthafucka off.”
Carlos paused. “But then again, you sure you wanna let Nelson go. Maybe he didn’t know Denie was your daughter. I mean I never trusted him, but so far he’s been a loyal worker. He’s even been holding shit down better than Juan.”
“Los, he fucked my daughter. I can’t be around him anymore.”
“Man, just think about what you’re doing to the business. You were just saying how you fuck with slim. I think you’re letting your emotions get the best of you. Anyway, he knows too much to let him go like that.”
“I can’t, Los.” Then again, I was beginnin’ to feel bad about the way I reacted to Nelson and then somethin’ else dawned on me when I thought about what Denie said. Whose car was in front of my damn house, I thought. At that moment, I turned up the music then began whisperin’ to Carlos so Denie couldn’t hear me.
“Hey, I’ma need you to start keepin’ an eye on Lisa. I think she fuckin’ somebody, and I don’t have time to be a target to no niggas. She doesn’t realize that it’s not about me not wanting her to move on. It’s about niggas in the street always plottin’.”
“Bet. We gonna find out one way or another. I got you, bro.”
“I know you got me, Los. You’re the only one who has ever had my back totally. I love you bro.”
“You know you my nigga,” Carlos responded as if he had a little bit of guilt in his voice.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lisa
Now more than ever, I was ready to pay Rich back for what he’d done. I called Carlos and told him about Rich forcing himself on me after he’d caught me having phone sex with him. Trying to avoid other one of those episodes, Carlos decided to have me come to his house in Potomac since Marisol had gone back to L.A. Apparently, their daughter was sick so she had to put her mommy hat on, which was something she rarely did. After getting off the phone, I walked into the bathroom and started my bubble bath. As the water filled the Jacuzzi, I put my I-pod on shuffle and then placed it on the Bose docking station.
Yearning for my bubble sanctuary, I immersed my body into my hot bath and thought about Carlos. My conversations and thoughts of him made me feel better whenever I started to feel depressed about what my life had turned into. The rape was always in the back of my mind no matter how many pills I popped to try and forget it. Now, the incident with Rich was making shit even worse. Carlos and I had spent countless hours on the phone discussing how I felt and he’d become a safe haven for me. This
side of Carlos I’d never seen and it made me fall for him even more. No matter how much he said we could never be serious, his actions showed otherwise. I used to hate him, but it was funny how hate turned to love so fast. Sometimes I wondered if I was just vulnerable, but I hadn’t felt this way in years and I loved it.
I was ready for a drama free night. I wanted to look sexy, but not over done. After my bath, I entered my closet in my pink Juicy Couture terry robe and decided on what to wear. My old housekeeper, Anna had done a great job with the organization of my closet. My boots were all organized by color and length. My handbags were organized by designer. Winter, fall, spring, and summer were all within their own sections. I decided since we were now in March I would go to the spring section of my wardrobe and picked out a sexy gold Dolce & Gabbana bustier and my leopard Dolce & Gabbana jacket I’d ordered from a Miami boutique in Bal Harbour. Next, I pulled out a pair of dark denim True Religion skinny jeans with jeweled buttons. They fit my curves just right and made me feel sexy. Since there wasn’t any snow left on the ground, I decided to wear a pair of my black quilted Chanel shoes, then finished my look with some gold bangles.
When I walked in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I couldn’t wait to call Jermaine, so he could do something with my hair. I wanted any trail of Trixie gone from my life, even the weave she’d put in. When I thought back on how she was the one pressing me to get this shit, it pissed me off. She knew Rich hated weave, so more than likely, that was her motive.
“Simple bitch,” I said out loud.
Ready for my date, I grabbed my black Chanel bag, and my Gucci duffle bag out of the closet. I then went to my lingerie drawer and pulled together a sexy red nighty for the nights festivities even though I knew my night would consist of as little clothes as possible. After we were interrupted by Rich in the middle of our phone sex session, it made me want to make love to Carlos even more. Somehow I had become tainted and it was scary that I liked the new me. I really wished that who I’d fallen for wasn’t my husband’s cousin, but the rush made it exciting in a crazy way.
After I dolled my face up, I sent Carlos a text to let him know I was leaving. As soon as I was heading out of the door Rich and Denie were coming in.
“Where the fuck you about to go wit’ an overnight bag?” Rich asked, looking my attire up and down.
“Why!” I yelled, irritated at the fact that I knew their arrival was going to make me late. After what he’d done to me I didn’t have shit to say to him. I even knew it was his birthday, but I refused to wish that nigga any happiness. “Get out of here, Rich.”
“Oh, I’m leavin’ but you’re not. Whatever plans you had, you’re gonna have to cancel them because I just found Denie at my man’s house half-naked.”
I threw up one of my hands. “So, what does that have to do with me?”
“You’re her mother. It has a lot to do with you. Do you not care that your seventeen year old daughter is fuckin’ an older man?” Rich asked.
“He’s only twenty-one!” Denie yelled with an attitude. She then ran upstairs to her room and slammed the door.
Her eyes were so puffy, I guess from crying. I’d never seen her act out this way toward Rich, so I was taken back. She never got upset with him.
“Rich, who is this guy?” I asked like I really cared.
“He’s a dude that I do business wit’, but I don’t want him fuckin’ wit’ my daughter. That’s out of the question.”
“So, now that you can’t control your daughter, you want to bring her back here, huh? I think she’s old enough to make her own decisions on who she wants to date. You were sleeping with me when I was her age, so what’s the difference?” I was tired of being concerned about who Denie was fucking. Those days were over.
“That’s my daughter, Lisa.”
“And I was somebody’s daughter, too. Denie has learned from mistakes in the past, and I’m sure that if she really likes this guy, and if you know him, it should be fine.”
I was trying to think of anything I could say to just get out of the door. Rich was holding me up and I was getting quite annoyed. I could feel my phone vibrating in my purse, but I didn’t want to check it in front of Rich just in case it was Carlos.
“Well, with the series of events tonight my plans have changed. Los and I have business to attend to. So, you need to keep an eye on Denie. I don’t want her runnin’ back to that nigga’s crib.”
“What do you and Carlos have to do?” I asked. I know this bullshit with Denie is not about to fuck up my night.
“When did my business start to be of concern to you? Just know that Denie is your priority right now. I got shit to do,” Rich said as he stormed out the front door.
“Shit!” I yelled.
When I checked my phone, I noticed that Carlos had text me and said he didn’t want me to meet him at his house any longer and that Rich suspected me of cheating. He let me know that he would try and duck Rich’s calls, and I would have to meet him in Baltimore later on. The next text message he sent read:
Call you in 15
I was pissed, but thought I’d wait until he called to give me a new set of instructions. I wanted to be in the right mood, so I thought I’d go to the bathroom and test a little bit of the package that Carlos left me the last time he was here. I sat at my vanity desk and poured a little bit of the powder on my silver tray that I usually placed my jewelry on from time to time. I thought that it would be best if I just did one line until I got there with him. When I sniffed the one line, it was the instant boost I needed to get my night started. As I rushed to put up my stash, Denie walked in my room.
“Ma, what are you doing? Are you busy?”
“Nothing. I’m not busy, what’s up?” I said startled. I hurried and dropped the bag of powder in my drawer.
“Well, I just wanted to thank you for standing up for me with my father. I know that I’ve been difficult to get along with lately, so I appreciate what you did.”
“Denie, don’t get me wrong, I want what’s best for you. We’ve all been through a lot, but we need to start acting as a family. We’re always divided, and I wasn’t raised that way. It seems like there’s always a divide between us and I don’t like it.”
“You’re right, Ma, I’m sorry. Me and Daddy just had this conversation at dinner earlier and I told him I would do better. I wanna try and work on building a better relationship with you.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “That would mean a lot to me. How about we start looking for prom dresses next week?”
“Well, you know I’ll be making my own dress, but we can go for fabrics and accessories.”
“I can’t wait. You just made me so happy. I love you Denie and I just want the best for you. Everything that goes wrong isn’t always my fault and I want you to know that there are always two sides to every story. I just want us to be closer. And this thing with this guy and your father, he’s very protective when it comes to you. The same way my dad was with me. When he calms down, let him know how you feel. He’ll come around, but you have to let him feel like he’s right sometimes.”
“I know, but Ma I love Nelson so much. While my father is there for money, Nelson is there for encouragement and support. My dad never spends time with me like he used to before he went to jail. Things have never been the same since. Do you think he hates me deep down inside because I got pregnant while he was away?”
“No, Denie. Your father loves you very much. He just doesn’t know how to show it. His father didn’t show him how to be a man. Your dad didn’t know how to deal with his father looking down on him the way he used to look down on Uncle Renzo and Carlos. He decided he was going to show him he could be a man with or without your grandfather and chose the life that we’re living now. Our lives seem great to everyone on the outside looking in, but really this isn’t what life is about. This life is filled with emptiness, loneliness, and money. It feels good to shop and have this big house and nice cars, but when you don’t have some
one there to hold you when you need to be held and love you, once you get to a certain age, you ask yourself is it all worth it. A life full of jewels and furs is not always the answer.” My eyes began to tear as I tried to school Denie.
“That’s why I want to have my own clothing line so I can be successful the right way. I don’t want to live like you and Daddy. I want a better life. I’m going to be famous, but in a legit way.” Denie giggled. “I always feel like I have to be secretive and not let anyone know that I’m Rich’s daughter. It’s embarrassing when I go to my friend’s houses and their families ask me what my parents do for a living. I constantly have to make things up, and it gets old. I mean don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that my father gives me the best, but I don’t want this life for myself.”
“Then you need to re-evaluate the boy in your life. If not, you’ll be allowing history to repeat itself.”
Denie began to cry and laid on my chest as we sat on the edge of my bed. I glanced up and looked at our family photo on my dresser. That’s when my family was happy. When life was great and I was in the moment enjoying everything and not thinking about the what if’s. I held my daughter and said a prayer to comfort her, and thought about how I missed my son.
After embracing Denie a few more minutes, my phone rang. I knew it was probably Carlos, but my daughter and I were having our first breakthrough as mother and daughter and it felt good. It made me think to myself that 2010 was going to be my year. After consoling Denie, she went to her room to lie down. When I called Carlos back, he let me know that he had to handle some business in Baltimore, and wanted us to meet at some random motel. If I had to see him in a motel then so be it. Once Denie was sound asleep, I crept out the door to meet my new man. I’m sure he didn’t want that title, but I could care less.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Rich
This was definitely a birthday to remember. I felt bad that it was almost 11 o’clock and I hadn’t made it to meet Jade yet. Wit’ all that had gone on wit’ Nelson, my plans had changed several times. Knowin’ I now had to take over a few of Nelson’s responsibilities, Carlos and I decided to head to Baltimore, and split up some of the duties. While Carlos hit up the Sandtown, West Baltimore area, I had to meet my man Julio at my strip club. My mind was all over the place, but I knew that once I finally got to Jade, she would take care of me.
