by Lee McKenzie
The question shocked her. “No, never! Paul would never—no, he’s always been a perfect gentleman.” Which was true even after they had taken their friendship to a somewhat more-than-friendly level.
“So then what’s the problem?”
“He’s Eric’s friend,” she repeated. “It isn’t right.”
“Says who?”
She shrugged. “No one, at least not to my face. But even if it was okay, it’s too soon. It’s been less than a year since Eric’s been gone. He was my husband, my son’s father, I loved him. I’ll always love him.”
“Of course you will. Eric was a good man. A good husband, a good father. Everyone expected the two of you to have a long, happy life together. He was too young to die, no question about that. But he did die and you’re on your own now. No one expects you to stay that way.”
Everything he said made sense. It would make even more sense if they were talking about someone else. “It’s too soon.”
“Too soon for...friendship? For someone to fall in love with you? To find yourself falling for him?”
“Yes. No, not too soon for friendship. But everything else? Yes.”
“I see. So what would be a respectable amount of time? A year? Two years? Ten?”
“I don’t know. And I’m not falling for him. He’s a good friend who happens to be in love with me.”
“Oh, honey.” Thomas’s laugh was soft and filled with affection. “You have already fallen for him.”
Annie stared at him. She opened her mouth to speak, closed it again when she realized she had nothing to say.
Her father, ever patient, simply waited.
“I have not,” she said after she finally collected herself.
“Oh, yes you have. If you hadn’t, then you’d have nothing to feel guilty about and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Seriously, Dad? I think...” What did she think? She didn’t know what to say.
She sipped her coffee while she considered the implications of what he’d said. Had she fallen for Paul? She had enjoyed their chats over morning coffee, had looked forward to them, even, and had been disappointed on the days he couldn’t make it. Those few lunch dates at the café in town had been easy and fun. The night of Emily and Jack’s wedding had been magical—dancing with him in the gazebo, kissing him. She loved how he was so thoughtful, praising her photography, taking her to the show at the gallery. She covered her face with her hands.
Her father was right. She was in love.
She lowered her hands, found him watching her. “I am such an idiot.”
“No, Annie. Nothing could be further from the truth. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out, and I’d say you’re a lucky one, too.”
“Lucky?” Surely he didn’t truly believe that.
“Finding someone you love, someone who’ll love you back...that’s not something that comes along every day. I guess that makes us both lucky.”
“Listen to you, all philosophical and romantic. I’m so happy for you and Libby, we all are. I just don’t think I’m ready to make that kind of commitment.”
“No one, not even Paul, expects you to be. All I’m suggesting is that you give love a chance.”
Thomas held out his coffee cup. She picked hers up and clinked it against his.
Give love a chance. She could do that. She wasn’t rushing into anything, but she could give love a chance.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
ANNIE SPENT THE rest of the day baking and thinking and baking some more. Christmas was coming, so she had a good reason to fill the freezer with shortbread and lemon squares and her famous pumpkin-cranberry loaf. Baking was second nature and she liked to keep busy, and her sisters were right. It freed her mind to ponder Rose’s letter and the conversation she’d had with her father and her newly acknowledged feelings about Paul.
That evening, once dinner was over and Isaac was settled for the night, she would sit down and compose a reply to Rose. Emily and CJ agreed with her and their father that inviting Rose to spend the holidays with them was the right thing to do. Once the New Year rolled around, there would be plenty of time for their half sister to make decisions about her future and whether or not Riverton was the right place for her.
Dealing with Rose would be easy. The challenge was figuring out what to say to Paul. She needed to be honest with him, explain how she felt about him. He deserved that. Her father was right, though. She was in love with Paul, but the circumstances were far from straightforward. She needed him to understand that moving on to a new relationship so soon after losing her husband didn’t feel right. Not yet. Her father believed Paul would be happy to wait. Annie wasn’t so sure, but there was only one way to find out.
After she cleared away the baking dishes and stowed the fruits of her labor in the pantry freezer, she made herself a cup of tea, took it upstairs and settled into the reading chair in her bedroom. On her cell phone, she opened a message to Paul.
Can you come out for coffee tomorrow morning? I owe you an apology.
His reply was immediate.
I’ll be there. No apology needed.
He was wrong about that. Putting her faith in Rose had been a huge mistake. Instead of owning up to it, she had blamed the accident on Paul, and then she had pushed him away. Now that she was ready to give love a chance, she hoped he’d be able to forgive her.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, as Paul carefully maneuvered around a farm truck hauling a load of hay down River Road, he realized how much he had missed the leisurely drive to the Finnegan place. The day had started out crisp and cool, and the sun, now angled low in the sky, sparkled off the iced-over river. His heart rate sped up as the gazebo came into view, reminding him of the dance with Annie, the kiss.
He honestly had no idea what to expect today. Her text message had been brief and, to his mind, a little cryptic. She said she wanted to apologize. Fair enough, but what did that mean? Did she intend to say she was sorry and then tell him to leave her alone? Or maybe she would say she was sorry and hoped they could still be friends. That would be harder than the first option. What he hoped to hear was not an apology at all. He hadn’t liked her reaction to the accident, but her anger was understandable. He was afraid to hope she was ready to put the past behind them and go back to being friends, and he didn’t dare hope for anything more.
At the top of the driveway, he parked, gratified to see that Thomas’s van and CJ’s truck were gone. Isaac, he knew, would be at school, and this meant Annie was home alone.
He knocked at the door and she opened it right away. She was dressed for comfort and yet she made blue jeans and a red-white-and-gray plaid flannel shirt look fit for the runway.
“Hi.” She sounded almost shy. “I’m glad you came.”
Nothing could have kept him away. “I’m glad you invited me.”
“Come in. Coffee’s ready.”
He followed her into the kitchen, as he had on many other visits. This time was different. The difference was as tangible as the scent of fresh coffee and warm apple strudel. Instead of sitting at the kitchen island, as they often did, she had set everything on the round table near the double doors that led to the veranda. She poured coffee and served them each a slice of her legendary pastry.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Cream?”
“No, thanks.”
Although he hated the awkward formality, he knew it was best to keep quiet and let her do the talking.
Annie picked up her fork. “I had a letter from Rose.”
“She mentioned that she had written to you.”
“She said you’ve been going to see her a couple times a week.”
“I have.” Annie had said she wanted to apologize but this
conversation had him wondering if she planned to dole out some more blame along with it. Her response caught him off guard.
“Thank you for doing that, for everything you’ve done for her. It’s good to know she didn’t have to go through this on her own.”
With that, his tension eased. “I was happy to be there for her, happy she was ready to accept help. She’s the one who’s done all the work, though.”
“It couldn’t have been easy for her.”
“I’d say it’s been the polar opposite of easy.”
Annie stabbed a piece of strudel with her fork and held it above her plate. “I’ve written to her and invited her to come here and spend Christmas with us when she’s finished the program. I hope she says yes.”
“Under the circumstances, that’s very generous of you.”
“We’re the only family she has. I don’t know much about this sort of thing—her being an alcoholic—but I hope that being around people who care about her will help her stay sober.”
“I hope so, too.”
Annie set the fork and uneaten pastry on her plate. “I shouldn’t have turned a blind eye to her problems. I know now that by defending her, I was also enabling her.”
“It happens with a lot of families.”
She sighed. “I also realize I shouldn’t have left her here to look after Isaac. Everyone else was busy and...” She paused and he watched the tip of her nose turn that adorable shade of pink. “I really wanted to spend the day with you.”
Paul resisted the urge to reach for her hand, sensing he’d be further ahead to follow through with the conversation. “I wanted that, too. I have to say, though, I was surprised to see Rose here that morning.”
Annie looked humbled. “You weren’t alone. CJ and my dad were shocked as well. They both warned me, but I didn’t take them seriously. I also understand why you couldn’t say anything.”
Paul took a deep breath, allowing the relief to flow through him.
“Now this is the part where I apologize,” she said. “I should have listened to you and believed you. I should have accepted that you’re a professional with a job to do. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Done,” he said without hesitation. This time he followed his instincts, reached for her hand and felt a rush of gratitude when she didn’t pull away. “I knew exactly where you were coming from, Annie. The anger, the fear...especially after what happened to Eric. I’ve been waiting and hoping we would find a way to resolve this because I’ve missed...this. I’ve missed us.”
“About us...”
He stroked the palm of her hand with his thumb, waited for her to continue.
“We have feelings for each other,” she said. “I have feelings for you. But I was married to your best friend and it hasn’t been that long since he passed away and this feels too soon and so unexpected and I just want to slow down and...and not go so fast.”
Of all the directions Paul had hoped this morning’s conversation might take, he hadn’t dared anticipate this. “Annie, I have a confession to make. I’ve been in love with you since we were in high school.”
She looked genuinely stunned.
“But you and Eric were the power couple. You were perfect together.” That’s what he’d always told himself, even though he never fully believed it. “So I stepped back, went away to college, stayed away. You were my best friend’s wife and I had no right to have those feelings for you. Even now, if it hadn’t been for my father’s health, I would have stayed away. But once I was here, I couldn’t stay away from you. I loved you then and I love you now. I have waited a long time for this and I will wait some more. So you take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
And with that, she was on her feet and in his arms. After she kissed him, she tipped her head back and smiled. “I’m not sure I deserve this, but I hope I’m worth the wait.”
“You do, and you will be.” Undoubtedly.
And when she kissed him again, he sensed the wait just might be shorter than expected.
EPILOGUE
Christmas Eve...
THE WAITING ROOM of the Riverton Health Center had been decorated like a TV holiday movie. The reception desk was strung with glittery garland, paper snowflakes were suspended in the windows and a huge tree filled one corner. An artificial tree, no doubt to abide by health and safety codes, instead of the giant pine that now dominated the living room of the Finnegan farmhouse and filled the air with the promise of Christmas. But every inch of this one had been covered with decorations, just like the one at home.
For the first time in a long time, Annie felt as though she was in a good place. Even being here, in a place for which she had an intense and long-standing dislike, felt right because tonight she was about to become an aunt. She had hoped Emily and Jack’s baby wouldn’t be born on Christmas Day...every child deserved his or her own special birthday...and it looked as though her wish was about to come true. Not that Christmas Eve wasn’t hectic, but at least it meant Annie’s niece or nephew could celebrate on a day when everyone else wasn’t getting presents, too.
Now, as she looked around at the expectant faces in the waiting room, her heart swelled. Her father and Libby, heads bent in quiet conversation, were holding hands.
CJ paced the room, periodically stopping to check her watch and then stare at the clock on the wall. “How much longer is this going to take?”
“It’ll take as long as it takes,” their father said.
Isaac sprawled in the seat next to Annie, looking through the newest dinosaur book Paul had given him. “What are they going to name the baby?”
“I don’t know,” Annie said. Emily and Jack had decided not to reveal their choices to anyone.
“If it’s a boy, they should call him Rex.”
He laughed along with everyone else.
“It’s a good name,” he said.
CJ scruffed his curls. “Sorry, sport. They’re not going to name him, or her, after a dinosaur.”
“Maybe they’ll call him Fred,” Fred said.
That earned him a round of guffaws.
He shrugged. “It’s a good name is all I’m saying.”
He’d been Emily’s best friend for as long as everyone could remember and had insisted on being called when she went into labor. Even on Christmas Eve, he claimed there was no place he’d rather be. And Rose’s being here likely had something to do with that.
As for Rose, she sat quietly, knitting a red-and-white-striped scarf. She said one of her counsellors had suggested the activity, and she claimed it calmed her nerves and kept her hands busy. Annie knew she still smoked—Paul said it would be too hard for her to beat more than one addiction at a time—but the uncharacteristic knitting did keep her from heading to the parking lot every fifteen minutes to light up. She had returned to Riverton three days ago, a completely different person from the one who had left, and it wasn’t just the knitting.
Rose was more subdued, but in a good way, and with a newfound confidence. She looked healthier, her appetite had improved and she even asked Annie to help her choose some new clothes that were, in her words, “a little less out there.” Annie had been happy to oblige. Her half sister now wore dark blue jeans that didn’t have a single rip in them and a hot-pink long-sleeved pullover covered with white hearts. She had added a matching pink streak to the bangs she kept tossing out of her eyes. Annie wasn’t sure the look qualified as less “out there,” but it worked for Rose.
All of this, Annie acknowledged, was thanks to Paul. She looked up at him now, feeling his love in the curve of his arm around her shoulders, seeing it in
his eyes, hearing it in his whisper.
“I love you, too,” she whispered back. The words, once so impossibly hard to say, came easily now.
He had kept his promise and was being incredibly patient with her. But as the frequency of his visits to the farm increased and he pitched in by shovelling snow and putting up holiday decorations and even folding laundry for her, she was feeling less and less inclined to slow things down.
The double doors burst open at the end of the waiting room, bringing the family to their feet as Stacey McGregor emerged. “Dr. Woodward? Dr. Cameron would like to see you for a brief consult.”
“What’s happening?” CJ asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Dr. Cameron says Emily and the baby are both doing fine. Shouldn’t be much longer.”
Paul gave Annie a quick kiss. “I’ll be back with an update as soon as I can,” he said to everyone.
Annie watched them rush back through the double doors, and then she sat.
CJ was at her side immediately, arms around her. “There’s no point in worrying. Stacey wouldn’t say everything was okay if it wasn’t.”
Annie hugged her back. “Telling me not to worry is like telling me not to breathe.”
“I know, but I had to say it anyway.”
Annie could see her father and Libby were trying to keep their concern hidden, but Rose was now clinging to Fred’s hand, and Fred didn’t seem to mind one bit.
The seconds ticked by into minutes. At the ten-minute mark, CJ stood up and resumed pacing. Ten minutes later, the doors opened again and the wait was mercifully over.
Jack appeared, beaming with pride and carrying a white-swathed bundle. “Everyone, I would like to introduce the newest member of the family... Amelia Grace.”
With misty eyes, Annie looked past this proud new father to Paul, just steps behind him.
And she knew.
She rushed to him, threw her arms around him. “Thank you for bringing her safely into the world.”
