by Neil LaBute
DARRELL
Yeah, and?
GIRL
Listen . . . do you like me at all?
DARRELL
You’re okay, yeah.
GIRL
Good. Great . . . cool.
DARRELL
’S absolutely fantastic. You’re not careful, I’m gonna ask you to fucking homecoming . . . (smiles) Now, come on . . . who?
GIRL
—just . . . somebody.
THE LIVING ROOM
Same as before, but dinner has been cleared. Pushed aside, at least. Blankets on the couch. TV turned on.
SHARI sits in a V-neck tee and undies, watching the tube. DARRELL just kicking off his shoes.
DARRELL
—fucking early, huh?
SHARI
Yeah.
DARRELL
Still here, though.
SHARI
Uh-huh. Car wouldn’t start. Rich said he’d look at it in the morning.
DARRELL
Great.
SHARI
—the, uhh, baby’s in your bed. Hope you don’t mind.
DARRELL
Nah.
SHARI
Your mom said it’d be okay.
DARRELL
Yeah. Sleep on the couch or whatever.
(He moves toward the sofa and looks down at SHARI, who just slides a bit down to make room.)
’S that a problem?
SHARI
Well . . . umm, shit.
DARRELL
What?
SHARI
Cammie said I should sleep out here, you know, give the baby some space. He’s been kinda sick.
DARRELL
Oh.
SHARI
And they gotta work tomorrow.
DARRELL
Right.
SHARI
Yeah.
DARRELL
—umm, no, I’ll take a couple cushions, sleep in the kitchen.
SHARI
No, you don’t have to—
DARRELL
Fuck it, it’s sleep, right? All the same to me.
SHARI
Thanks.
DARRELL
’S all right.
SHARI
That’s sweet, Darrell, thanks.
DARRELL
No prob’. I’ll just take ’em off the back there, okay? Leave you the bottom—
SHARI
I appreciate it. Don’t really wanna be in there with the baby, he puked up earlier.
DARRELL
Yeah, I can smell it—
SHARI
Sorry.
DARRELL
Don’t matter. I’ll be in the kitchen . . . smells worse in there!
SHARI laughs lightly as DARRELL smiles at her.
SHARI
Have fun tonight?
DARRELL
’S all right. Saw some guys I know, shit like that.
SHARI
Nice.
DARRELL
Yep. ’Kay, good night—
He almost makes it to the door but SHARI speaks again.
SHARI
Darrell?
DARRELL
Yeah?
SHARI
I ever tell you . . . that I always liked you?
DARRELL
No.
SHARI
I mean, as kids. When we were all living together. Right after they got married.
DARRELL
Really?
SHARI
Yep, I always did. Thought you were really cute and everything, but, you know, brother and sister and all.
DARRELL
Step.
SHARI
True, but, I mean, supposed to be like it. Brother and sister. They wanted us to pretend like we were, right?
DARRELL
I guess.
SHARI
Anyway. I liked you. You were funny and kinda nice so I just liked you.
DARRELL
Huh.
Silence as DARRELL slowly undresses in front of SHARI. Shirt and pants. He stands now in his briefs, looking at her.
SHARI
I told you that before, though, right?
DARRELL
No. You never did.
SHARI
Oh. Well . . . (BEAT) Come ’ere a second.
SHARI motions and DARRELL sits. The baby begins to cry.
DARRELL
What?
SHARI
You’re filling out, huh?
DARRELL
Little.
SHARI
No, you definitely are. Definitely.
DARRELL
We do weights at school sometimes . . . Univesal Gym or whatnot.
SHARI
Looks good. Grown up—
DARRELL
Whatever.
SHARI
Look . . . you don’t have to sleep out there, on the linoleum. ’Cause this pulls out to, like, you know, a Queen.
DARRELL
What, sleep here? Umm—
SHARI
Yes. We could just set it up and—
DARRELL
—nah, I should just—
SHARI
I’m gonna be running back and forth all night, anyway.
DARRELL
Yeah?
SHARI
I mean, listen to ’em! Fuck—
DARRELL
I guess.
SHARI
Just a lot more cozy, that’s all I’m saying.
DARRELL
True.
SHARI
Be like when we were younger, times we’d do blanket forts and shit. We can pretend it’s like one ’a those—
DARRELL
Oh, man, come on!
SHARI
Seriously.
DARRELL
That’s funny, I remember that—
SHARI
With that big flowered comforter out on the porch, ’member? And the dog, that little spaniel thing would come tearing in there and knocking shit over, stepping on our sandwiches and all—
DARRELL
Yeah. (laughs) That was funny—
CAMMIE appears from a hallway, yawning and a bit cross. Long T-shirt on with a tear in it near the belly.
CAMMIE
—fucking crying, huh?
SHARI
Yeah.
CAMMIE
Think you can maybe . . .?
SHARI
Just gonna. Go back in, sorry.
CAMMIE
Coming right through the wall, you know.
SHARI
I’ll get ’em, you guys sleep.
CAMMIE nods and lights up a smoke. Inhales deeply then looks over at DARRELL, who quickly stands.
CAMMIE
Hey. Fuck you still up for?
DARRELL
Just got in.
CAMMIE
Oh. Didn’t know. I mean, standing in your undies there—
DARRELL
Yeah, gonna hit the sack.
SHARI
We were just talking and stuff.
CAMMIE
’Bout what?
SHARI
You know, when we were kids. Shit like that.
CAMMIE
Uh-huh.
SHARI
When we played together, over in that one house, downtown?
CAMMIE
I remember.
DARRELL
We made a tent on the porch. Shari was telling me about it.
CAMMIE
On the porch?
DARRELL
With that flowered throw ’a yours, the big scratchy one off your bed.
CAMMIE
—I don’t recall that. Flowered? No—
DARRELL
We did it, though, a couple times.
SHARI
On the back porch.
CAMMIE
Hmmm. I dunno . . . maybe I was at work or something.
DARRELL
Whatever.
No big deal.
CAMMIE takes another puff, motions to SHARI about the crying.
SHARI
I’m going. (BEAT) Hey, Cammie, I was thinking that Darrell could maybe—
CAMMIE
You’re set in the kitchen, right?
DARRELL
Ummm—
CAMMIE
You got the cushions there, so—
DARRELL
—’s fine. Yep.
CAMMIE
Great.
DARRELL
Whatever.
CAMMIE
Good, get going, then. And don’t eat everything, neither. Leave some milk.
DARRELL
’Kay. (BEAT) I was just gonna have some more ’a that salmon, if it’s all right—
CAMMIE
Smart ass.
She goes off to bed. SHARI and DARRELL look at one another.
SHARI
You can sneak back out later, I mean, if you want.
DARRELL
I’ll think about it—
SHARI
Good. ’S a Queen-size, so you know—
DARRELL
Yeah. ’Night.
SHARI
’Night.
DARRELL wanders off with his cushions. The baby cries.
THE EMPTY LOT
Big slab of blacktop forced up against the back corner of a building. Several ash cans around. A place near school where kids gather to smoke. Empty now.
DARRELL and TIM stand nearby with cigs, puffing away in silence. DARRELL yawns.
DARRELL
—fucking bell, huh?
TIM
Yeah.
DARRELL
’Nother couple minutes, sitting in fucking science! Double helix can just lick me, ya know?
TIM
Right. You do the homework?
DARRELL
Tim, think about what you just said—
TIM
Oh.
DARRELL
You?
TIM
Yeah, my sister helped me out—
TIM pulls a wrinkled page out of his textbook as evidence. DARRELL nods.
DARRELL
Cool. (BEAT) Can I copy it?
TIM
Sure. I’m not, like, for certain that it’s right or nothing.
DARRELL
Gives a shit?
TIM
That’s what I figured. Something to have ’case she calls on me—
DARRELL
Absolutely.
DARRELL grabs TIM’s homework from his hand, pushing TIM away when he tries to get it back. Studying it, DARRELL snags one of TIM’s notebooks off the pavement and starts to scribble down figures.
TIM
Change a coupla answers, though, make it too obvious—
DARRELL
Way ahead of you, dude.
TIM
’Kay.
DARRELL
Always way the fuck out there in front ’a you, Timmie.
TIM
Don’t call me that, man.
DARRELL
Whatever. Just want you to know that I’m on to you, ’ever you try and pull that covert shit ’a yours.
TIM
What?
DARRELL
“What?” you know fuckin’ what.
TIM
—no.
DARRELL
Yesterday. (BEAT) The mall.
TIM
I dunno, what? Serious.
DARRELL
Fuck you, lie right to my face.
TIM
Darrell, what?
DARRELL
Ahh, Jenn, maybe. You fucking saw her, I know you did.
TIM
I did not . . . (BEAT) . . . She say something?
DARRELL
Nice fucking pal I got.
TIM
Hey . . . she asked me not to. The hell am I gonna do?
DARRELL
Ummm, maybe not be a total butthole and keep shit from me. (BEAT) I hate that, more than any thing on this fucking earth. Lies and such.
TIM
—sorry. Put me in a bind.
DARRELL
Yeah, well, don’t do that shit again. I mean it—
TIM
’Kay.
DARRELL punches TIM on the arm, hard, and TIM takes it. They share an uneasy smile.
DARRELL
Listen . . . you got, like, twenty bucks or whatnot I can borrow? Gotta get Jenn a present, perfume ’a some kind. Something. Birthday’s tomorrow—
TIM
Nah. Really?
DARRELL
Yeah. (BEAT) Nothing?
TIM
Uh-uh. Mom cut off my fucking allowance . . . I spray painted some shit in the family room. Sorry.
DARRELL
Great. (BEAT) What about work, they do pay you, right, or you just like hanging out with those chop suey motherfuckers?
TIM
I get, like, a check next week—
DARRELL
Too late! Birthday’s on Friday. (BEAT) Fuck!
TIM doesn’t answer and DARRELL impatiently waves him off, going back to copying the work. TIM begins to examine his jeans. Tries to lighten things up.
TIM
Look—
DARRELL
What?
TIM
—found a coupla welts on my legs, showering this morning. Fucking ants!
DARRELL
Uh-oh, lemme feel your head—
DARRELL starts to wrestle with TIM, trying to get a hand on his forehead.
TIM
Knock it off, faggot! You fucker!! Don’t call me that!!!
DARRELL
Hey, come on! I can feel it, Timmie, you’re going bonkers!! Whoooah!!!
The fighting increases until DARRELL connects with a hard slap to TIM’s face. Suddenly the game is serious. DARRELL goes at TIM again, who hits him with a solid shot to the chest. DARRELL staggers back from the blow.
TIM
Shit, sorry!
DARRELL
Dick!!
TIM
Well—
DARRELL
Use a fucking fist! I was just playing, you prick . . . (BEAT) That’s illegal in wrestling, you know, closed hand?!
TIM nods at this, solemnly accepting the rebuke. DARRELL uses the opportunity to jump TIM and bring him to the ground. They battle each other as JENN enters.
JENN
—hey.
DARRELL
Shit. (BEAT) Hi, Jenn, what’s up?
JENN
Nothing. Figured you guys’d be here . . . didn’t know you’d be making out.
(DARRELL laughs this off and quickly stands, brushing himself off. TIM remains where he is, then rises slowly.)
Hey, Tim.
TIM
Jenn. How you doing?
JENN
You know.
TIM
Yeah.
DARRELL
He sure does. He knows a fucking ton . . . ’course he never tells me. Like about yesterday, for instance.
JENN fires a look directly at TIM; DARRELL catches it before she turns back.
JENN
—what?
TIM
Darrell . . . (to JENN) I didn’t say shit—
DARRELL
Nah, don’t worry, Jenn, he lied his ass off for ya.
JENN
Whatever.
DARRELL
Yeah, which I don’t understand, since he says he dislikes ya so much . . . (BEAT) Hey, did you call Tim “stupid” or something?
JENN
What?!
TIM
Aww, fuck!
TIM quickly gathers his books and starts to move away.
DARRELL
Tim, I’m kidding! Get over here!!
TIM
I gotta take a pee. See ya in class—
JENN
’Bye, Tim. Still got detention later?
TIM
See ya, Jenn.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
DARRELL waves and TIM walks off. JENN turns back to DARRELL.
JENN
Fuck you gotta be so shitty for, huh?
DARRELL
Hey, you’re the one who said it.
JENN
God! Talking at some party last month, drunk as hell . . . can’t you just be nice? Your own fucking friend. You know?
DARRELL
Whatever. (BEAT) The fuck you do that for yesterday? Blow
me off—
JENN
Dunno.
DARRELL
I’m asking so I’m interested. (BEAT) Come on, I missed you.
JENN
—yeah? How much?
DARRELL
This much.
DARRELL grabs the crotch of his jeans and makes a face. JENN laughs a bit, hits at him.
JENN
So, I guess that says we’re just, like, back together, huh? I mean, way you’re acting suddenly—
DARRELL
What?
JENN
The hell was all that shit on Monday, “what?”
DARRELL
Nothing. I was pissed—
JENN
Yeah, I got that! (BEAT) The dude’s in my homeroom, okay, asked me a question, not my fucking number. All right?
DARRELL
No, it’s not all right, you know I hate that shit! Other guys and shit—
JENN
Wasn’t about a guy! Je-sus—
DARRELL
Well, fuck I know what goes on being my back . . . everybody sneaking around.
JENN
A little trust, maybe. Try that.
(They stare at one another a moment. JENN lightens up first.)
Fuck . . . whatever.
DARRELL
’S not.
JENN
Then stop with the . . . you know, not every guy around is try’na get in my pants.
DARRELL
—yeah. (smiles) Maybe.
JENN
You gotta ease back on the jealous shit a little, ’kay, ’cause I’m tired ’a breaking up, like, every three days.
DARRELL
Come on. Don’t worry ’bout it. (tries to hug her) ’S okay if you wanna hang with friends—
JENN
Yeah, well, don’t be such a dick about it, then . . . (BEAT) I don’t know about you sometimes, I really don’t. Fucking green eyed monster—
DARRELL
Okay, okay, ’s my fault.
(Another bell rings loudly.)
Fuck! We doing something this weekend?
JENN
I guess. Sure.
DARRELL
Got any money?
JENN
Couple bucks, that’s it.
DARRELL
Shit.
JENN
Might get a little tomorrow. My, ahh, birthday—
DARRELL
Don’t worry, I’m getting ya one, two things!
JENN
’S not what I meant!
DARRELL
Bullshit!! (they kiss) I’ll call ya—
JENN
When?
DARRELL
Dunno.
JENN
You get the car?
DARRELL
Uh-huh. Think so—
JENN
Great, see ya later, then. (BEAT) Hey, can you pick me up some cigs?
