I never thought that my plan to crash a masked party to exact a bit of revenge would fall apart so easily. It was a foolproof plan. The absolute best scenario. Moon-and-stars-aligned worthy. No one would suspect I was anyone other than the wealthy, self-absorbed girl I pretended to be. The one who would wreak havoc that night.
Then again, I also didn’t plan on running into a wall of sharp wit and steely determination named Calder. The captivating Navy SEAL might’ve called me by Celeste’s name, but he refused to let me hide my true self from him. His special brand of honest, seductive charm was impossible to resist. He was confident and demanding…and everything I wanted. But the deeper I fell, the higher the stakes rose while playing a role. So I held onto our intense connection for as long as I could, knowing that he would never know me as Cass.
When an unexpected turn of events gives me a second chance to see Calder again, of course the opportunity comes with strings attached. I had no idea how dangerously tangled and deeply knotted those strings would become, but for the one man who gave me the courage to live my life for me again, I’d do just about anything.
Even become someone else.
Note: GOLD SHIMMER is the first book in the BLACK SHADOWS duet, Cass and Calder’s story. The duet falls within the main IN THE SHADOWS series. To read the other books in the IN THE SHADOWS series, check out books 1-3: MISTER BLACK, SCARLETT RED, and BLACKEST RED, Talia and Sebastian’s story.
Copyright 2015 by P.T. Michelle
All rights reserved. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook cannot be re-sold or given away to others. No parts of this ebook may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author.
This is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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The Past
I woke up on the porch swing behind Sherry’s house, three hours past my curfew. My hands tremble as I quietly unlock our front door. I don’t want to wake my parents. My dad flipped out when I was twenty minutes late last month. Shaking the wooziness from my head, I close the door with a soft click and use the handrail to pull myself upstairs.
The last thing I remember was talking to one of the football players about the game and seeing Jake Hemming chatting with another player across the room. Images keep flashing through my mind: Jake apologizing to me for acting like an ass last year. Jake looking adorable as he rakes his hand through his blond hair and invites me outside. The party noise at Sherry’s fading in the background. He’s smiling. Flirting. Did I dream that part while I was out?
Once I reach the bathroom and close the door behind me, I gulp in deep breaths. It feels as if my lungs are being squeezed and I can’t get enough air. I run the tap in the sink and gulp down mouthfuls of water. My mouth is parched, like I downed a whole six pack, but I don’t understand why. I only had a soda at the party.
As the shower pounds down on my shaking limbs, I rinse the shampoo from my hair and close my eyes, trying to recall the parts that I’m missing from tonight.
An image of Jake throwing his arm around my shoulders jars me. It feels too real. Then the memory rolls through my mind like a film.
He’s leaning on me, apparently tipsy as he rambles about our football team’s win against Saint Mary’s. “I’m the only sophomore on the varsity team. I’m going places! Why can’t Celeste see that I would worship her like a goddess?” he rails, raising his plastic cup in the cool night air, beer sloshing over the edge.
This is his way of apologizing? I gulp down the rest of my soda so I don’t say something snarky. “Maybe you two…just…aren’t meant…to be.” I shake my head and blink, confused as to why that had been so hard to say. It sounded clear as a bell in my mind.
He grips my chin. “Ah, but we are, is that it, Cass?” he says in a husky voice.
Not any more. Not after what you did to me last year. But no matter how shitty he treated me, my traitorous heart still skips several beats when his mouth moves close to mine. I guess I’ll always want what I can’t have. Stupid heart.
Tilting my chin, he inspects my face. “You look so much like her it’s freaky.” When he throws his head back and laughs, I stare up at him in confusion. I know he’s talking about Celeste, but…then nothing. My memory goes blank.
The steam in the shower making me cough pulls me back to the present. I’m shaking all over. Why can’t I remember?
Squeezing my eyes shut, I press my face to the cool tile and force myself to take slow, deep breaths as I try to fill in the blank space.
Another image starts out blurry, then sharpens in my mind.
I’m kneeling in damp grass in front of Jake, his hand fisted in my hair, tugging hard. He yanks at his jeans’ zipper, his words harsh, bitter. “I’m your god tonight. Open your mouth.”
My eyes jerk open and I swallow the bile rising in my throat. It didn’t happen. It didn’t happen. Whimpering, I quickly swipe the fog off the shower door to seek out my jeans on the floor. They’re dry, but mud and grass stain both knees. Covering my mouth with a shaking hand to keep the wail of humiliation inside, I shut the water off.
Why didn’t I fight him? I question over and over as I pull on warm sweats and a T-shirt.
“Cass?” Sophie calls quietly when I try to tiptoe past her bedroom door.
I peek inside. “Hey, what are you doing awake so late?”
She raises a sparse eyebrow, a knowing look in her tired eyes. “Why are you?”
Despite my anxiety, relief rushes through me as I step in her room. My big sister will know what to do.
“You okay?” she asks as she beckons me over. “You know Mom and Dad will flip if they find out how late you got in.”
With just a few wisps of dark hair sprouting from her bald head, she looks even weaker than she did yesterday. I want to be angry that she refused to go to her bone cancer treatment this week, but Sophie’s been fighting it for two years now. I understand her wanting a break for just one day. The drugs that fight her cancer are slowly destroying other parts of her. Fuck cancer! I sigh and gingerly lay down on the covers beside her frail frame. “I’m fine. I just lost track of time while celebrating our win.”
She tsks as she touches my damp hair, her brown eyes holding my gaze. “I smell mouthwash. Are you trying to cover the stink of liquor on your breath?”
Instead of reprimand, I hear nostalgia in her voice. At this moment I’d give anything for her to have fun at a party like other eighteen year olds instead of lying in bed, her body wasting away. The last thing I want to do is burden her with what happened to me. She’d get upset, and tonight she just doesn’t look strong enough for that.
So I sigh and snuggle close. “Let’s just say I learned my lesson. Why are you still awake?”
She flutters her hand down my cheek. “Can’t sleep. Dad found yet another doctor to drag me off to, this one even more expensive than the last specialist.”
I meet her gaze. “He’ll never give up, Sophie. Not as long as there’s any chance you can beat this. We all want that. Even five percent is five better than zero.”
Clasping my hand, she folds our hands between us. “I know, but he needs to focus on building his business while it’s growing, not finding new doctors for me.”
I squeeze her hand. “You know Mom can’t handle this kind of stuff.”
“That’s not wh
at I mean—” She cuts herself off and sighs. “You know I don’t want to die, right, Cass? You know I’d be here for you through thick and thin if I could.”
I blink back sudden tears. Sophie has always been the ray of sunshine in our family. I used to tell her all my troubles because she always made me feel better. When she learned what Jake did last year, if she’d been stronger and able to go to school, she would’ve told him off in front of everyone. But she did give me good advice that helped me learn to cope and let it go.
Which I thought I had…until tonight.
Kissing her bone-thin hand, I give an encouraging smile. “You’re going to be okay. Dad will make sure of it. And I will take care of Dad.”
“You promise you’ll help him stay on track, Cass?”
I nod and squeeze her hand. “Promise.”
She closes her eyes and then opens them, her dark irises glistening in the moonlight. Releasing my hand, she touches my hair once more. “I miss having hair; I loved how dark and shiny it was. When I return, I’m going to come back as a raven.”
I don’t like it when she talks about dying, but I’m not surprised she’s talking about reincarnation. She’s always had a very enlightened viewpoint. It’s her choice that surprises me. “Why a raven? Are you tired of being human?” I tease.
She shakes her head. “Ravens have strong constitutions. They can survive the harshest conditions and can eat just about anything. Not to mention, since I’ll have wings, I can fly anywhere I want. I’ll explore the world.”
I frown. “Birds don’t live as long as people.”
“They don’t die of cancer, that’s for sure,” she snorts out, then turns wistful. “Ravens can live up to forty years. That’s plenty of time for me to see you go off to college, get married, and raise a family.”
She’s beaming. I haven’t seen her smile like this in a long time, so I play along. “You planning on spying on me?”
“How else am I going to watch over you?”
Her sentiment makes my heart hurt. I cup her cheek. “You’re going to do that anyway, big sister.” Kissing her forehead, I slide out of her bed. “I’d better get some sleep. I have to help mom price out the stuff she’s taking to the consignment store tomorrow. Who knew we could accumulate so much junk?”
“Good night, Cassandra. I love you.”
“Love you too, Sophie. Now get some sleep and don’t worry about Dad.”
My conversation with Sophie bumps around in my mind as I pull my covers over me. But the second I close my eyes, more snippets of memory from tonight spark and flicker, bringing forth images I wish I could forget. Someone must’ve drugged my soda. That’s why I didn’t fight back…and why I passed out. As my heart races with anger and disgust, I bite my lip to keep my crying quiet. Swiping the tears away, I sniff back my worries and vow to tell Sophie what happened tomorrow. She’ll help me get through this. She always does.
Six Years Later
“How about ‘Claret’ with a French pronunciation? You’re the journalist, Talia. Be more imaginative with your fake name.” I shut my car door as quietly as I can in the darkness, but it sounds like someone slammed a Dumpster closed, making my heart pound double time. A bird gives a low croak in one of the trees across the street. I instantly seek out the source of the sound. With a painful twist in my chest, I nod at the raven in the dim light and quickly kiss the inside of my wrist. I wish I had told you that night, Sophie, but it helps to think you’re still here watching over me.
Coming around from her side of the car, Talia fiddles with the red cape’s tie around her neck. “Are you ever going to tell me why you do that?”
I shake my head, lips twitching. “Just remembering something.”
She holds my gaze for a second like she wants to say more, then furrows her brow. “So names…what’s wrong with ‘Ella’? It’s subdued and understated—”
“Do you really think ‘Ella’ goes with that outfit?” As we walk, I eye my roommate’s sexy costume—a black leather corset over her peasant-style thigh-high dress, four-inch heeled boots, and a velvet-hooded cloak brushing against her fishnet covered legs—then shoot her a “give-me-a-break” look.
“Sarcastic much?” Talia mumbles and pats her newly dyed blonde hair around her carnival mask while we head up the long driveway leading to the Blake’s Hamptons estate. Cutting her gaze my way, she slows a little. “Are you getting cold feet, Cass? Pretending to be Celeste to get us into this party was your idea.”
Talia and I are as close as sisters, but we also have a code we’ve gone by ever since we became friends: Leave the past in the past. She has her baggage. I have mine. All that matters is that we’re there for each other when the need arises. Attending this party is proof of that unspoken pact.
Tonight, we both get something we want.
“Celeste is our ticket in,” I remind her. “The party invitation she posted on her wall, bragging about being invited, states attendees must wear a mask and use a fake name.” Pointing to myself, I continue, “Yvette goes with my French maid costume. Do you want me to pick your name?”
While Talia exhales and shakes her head, my insides continue to coil tight. Just saying Celeste’s name does that to me. I’m proud of the fact that I no longer let my past rule me on a daily basis, but it sure as hell is riding me hard right now. It doesn’t help that I spent most of today winding myself up about the event tonight, to the point I haven’t eaten. Even now nausea is tumbling around in my rumbling stomach.
Everybody who’s anybody will be at this exclusive party. Not that I care about any of that crap; it means there’s a possibility Jake might be here too. I seriously doubt he’s grown a conscience now that he’s about to graduate college. The memory of Celeste’s innocent expression back in ninth grade when she told me that Jake liked me rushes to the front of my mind. Like an idiot, I asked him if he’d like to go to the movies. His answer was to snort and loudly turn me down in front of the whole school. I can still hear his sarcastic tone grinding in my ears along with his laughter.
“You might look like Celeste, but you’re nowhere near her level. It’s bad enough she turned me down for Friday’s dance, but I don’t do middle class substitutes. Go back to being a nobody and stop trying to pretend to be someone you’re obviously not.”
There were at least three other instances throughout high school where I overheard Celeste turn Jake down. Her responses were different, but she always ended her rejection the same, “Too bad you ruined your chances with Cass.” Of course that pissed him off, which inevitably stirred up a new round of gossip that lasted for weeks afterward. I could ignore that, but my anxiety that Jake might come after me, all because I looked like the girl who was too good for him, always spiked in the aftermath. It’s like I couldn’t get past it.
Damn Celeste Carver for shattering my naive belief that we’re all created equal. And fuck Jake Hemming for ripping away my dignity. Celeste might not know everything Jake did to me after that embarrassing set up she engineered at school—as far as I know no one knows what happened during Shelley’s party—but she never apologized for putting me directly in his path in the first place. It only took six years and loads of therapy for me to overcome the negative self-worth Celeste initiated and Jake fully inflicted upon me.
I might not be able to do anything about the past now, but I’m not above taking advantage of an opportunity to exact some payback either. Celeste cancelling her appearance at the party, then announcing she’s going “social media free” for a weekend was just too perfect a scenario to pass up.
I just hope Jake skips this soirée. The thought of crossing paths with him makes me want to hurl. I swallow several times and fist my hands. The tension flexes the skin along my wrists, making the old scars itch under my French maid costume’s fancy cuffs. No more dwelling on Jake shit. Resisting the overwhelming urge to rub my irritated skin, I grind my back teeth and tug the fitted sleeves down. Long sleeves were a requirement for my costume. Unlike mine, I�
�m pretty sure Celeste’s skin is a blank slate.
“I’m sorry.” I breathe out, hoping to calm myself. “I’m just a bit tense. I’ve never impersonated someone before.” At least that’s partially true. Knowing you can pass for your nemesis’ twin versus actually pretending to be her are two entirely different things.
Talia nods, offering a sympathetic smile as we get closer to the door. “Vengeance against Celeste will be yours, but the last thing I want is to stand out at this party and alert Mina Blake’s over-protective brothers to my presence. As soon as I get in there, I’m making a bee-line for the shut-away heiress and hope she’s willing to share why she really quit college.”
“You have major persuasive skills, I’ll give you that, Talia, but I doubt Mina will just spill the beans about a potential drug ring on campus just because you bat your pretty green eyes and ask nicely. Why don’t you at least appear to have fun for a bit first before you attempt to pump her for details for the school paper.” I smirk and finger comb my dark hair around my own mask before adjusting the off-the-shoulder sleeves on my fitted silk blouse for maximum cleavage potential. “And bonus…if you give yourself a chance to relax, you might actually have a good time.”
We step up to the door, and just as I start to ring the bell, Talia smooths the hood over the edge of her hair.
“Stop fidgeting with your hood,” I say curtly. “There’s no way they’ll recognize you with that mask on. Even I think you went to extreme lengths dying your red hair blonde. A wig would’ve sufficed.”
Talia immediately drops her hands and tucks them under the cape’s velvet folds, saying in a low voice, “I can’t help it. If I get caught trying to see Mina again, I’m sure a restraining order will be in my near future.”
I purse my lips and adjust the tiny fancy apron over the short, black silk skirt. “Maybe give up the idea of trying to talk to Mina tonight. That’s one way to guarantee you won’t get caught.”
Gold Shimmer Page 1
