by Ali Parker
There was a part of me that knew that avoiding Jacob as much as I had over the last few days was going to hurt both of us more than I knew, but I couldn't stop myself. After being emotionally slung around by Brody and having to deal with my mom and sister, I just needed time to myself. Time to figure things out and to ensure that I wasn't rushing into another bad situation.
"Hey. Head's up," Natasha yelled and waved her arms.
I came to from my thoughts about the time a dull orange basketball slammed into my chest.
"Ugh," I groaned and wrapped my arms around it.
"You okay? Shit. I thought you were paying attention." She jogged toward me and stopped in front of me with worry on her face.
"I'm sorry. I got lost in my thoughts." I handed her the ball and staggered over to the player’s bench on the side of the court. "Play without me. I'm just not in the mood."
"You trying to blame your suckation on your deep thoughts? Oh heck no." She dribbled and smiled at me, forcing me to return the gesture. "Talk to me, Em. You can't keep hiding behind that wall you keep up. You're going to find yourself alone forever, just like my mother. She has very few friends, no new love interested and has lost the only person in the world that would have loved her forever. Me."
"I know." I pulled my hair from the loose bun it was in and redid it. "I'm just trying to decide how to handle things with Jacob."
"Well, if you'll tell me what the fuck happened between you two guys, maybe I can help."
I glanced down at my hands and let out a soft sigh. "I slept with him last Saturday night."
"That's great news." Her words shocked me, and I couldn't help but glance up.
"What?"
"That's great news. You guys have been tripping over each other since our freshman year. Do you know how awkward it is when you're in a room together? Horribly. Just because you didn't want to acknowledge how you felt about him back then doesn't mean it went away. You've dated horrible assholes since then, and if you ask me... I think it was on purpose."
"That's why I didn't ask you." I smirked and lifted my hands. There was no reason to be shy or withdrawn around her. She cared about me, and I needed to stop pushing her away. She wasn't my mother, nor was she Cally. I just kept expecting the other shoe to fall on all of my relationships, especially the newest one.
"Do you love him?"
"What? Hell no. We just slept together. That would be insane. Absurd." I rolled my eyes and tried to dribble past her, which worked about as well as I figured it would. She barely moved and the ball was back in her hands, and she was headed down the court for her signature move, a beautifully graceful layup.
"Should have been a dancer," I called after her and laughed at the nasty look I got in return for my kind words.
"Love isn't something that has to develop over time, by the way. Everyone acts like there's some magical courting period. Lucas and Aubrey got together after a few weeks of dating, and to the outsider it looks shallow and stupid, but for those of us who know them..."
"It was three years coming." I nodded, understanding exactly what she was getting at. "I'm not in love with Jacob, but there is a part of me that knows that we would be so damn good together. We're both poor and broken."
"Sounds like pitiful bliss." She tossed the ball my way, but this time I caught it.
"And what about you? You're just going to dish out lectures on letting people in and not turn and face the music yourself?" I knew now wasn't the time to turn the conversation around, but there never would be a good time.
Tasha had immersed herself in basketball to the point of becoming very much like her mother. She had a few close friends, but I'd never, ever seen her go out on a date. She hadn't even mentioned anyone over the last three years. There was a period of time when I thought maybe she was a lesbian, which would have been great too, but even then... no one. Not a single person.
"You know how I feel about taking time away from basketball. It's all I have."
"That's a choice you've made." I lifted my eyebrow and tilted my head to the side. "And you know it."
"Back to talking about you. I think you need to quit avoiding Jacob and take the plunge. He's probably not at all the jackass we all think he is. Most people aren't." She shrugged and lifted her hands. "Enough of this sweet, sensitive bullshit. Give me the ball."
"Tell me you'll let me set you up with Micah."
"What? No." She shook her hands. "The ball."
"Micah." I dribbled a few times.
"No. End of conversation."
"Says who?" I smiled. "If I can get by you and make a basket, you're going to let me set you guys up on a date this summer."
"And if you don't, you don't get to jabber in my ear one more time about him. Got it?"
"Is it that you don't think he's attractive?"
"You'd have to be blind to not see that Micah is smoking hot, Em, but it's not about looks. I'm serious about spending every bit of my time building a future I can be proud of. I'm not at all interested in waiting hours every day ogling over someone that's going to knock me up and walk out the door."
I didn't say anything, but it was nice to finally see where she was coming from. She didn't want her mother’s life to such an extreme that she was closing every possible door that would lead to that end.
"If I get past you-"
"And you score. Let's go, cheerleader. Good luck."
I laughed and started toward her, using the only move I'd ever figured out on the courts. I faked left, turned around, bounced the ball once and took off as fast as I could.
She reached me about the time I pressed my feet to the ground and lifted in the air for the layup. I thought she had me as I fell to the ground and rolled on my back, but much to my delight...
"I made it! Holy shit. I made it. Did you see that?"
"Unbelievable. I swear if you ruin my future with this stupid boy."
I laughed and let my head fall back carefully as joy raced across my insides. Micah Sanders wasn't going to ruin anything. He was going to help me unlock my friend's heart and bring her back to life.
*
I took a deep breath before walking into the pizza parlor and clocking in. Between Jacob's practices, the parties at his frat house and me working with the cheer camps, we hadn't seen each other much. That would have all been fine and dandy if in the few times we could have gotten together I hadn't made up some dumbass excuse. I owed him a conversation and just hoped he wouldn't be too upset with me to listen.
"So you really think this will work?" Mr. DeAngelo was standing in the middle of his office with a list lifted in front of his face.
Jacob had his back to me, and damn if his jeans didn't fit his butt perfect. A warmth I was getting used to feeling pool between my thighs started up as I moved up behind him.
"What is that?" I stepped up beside him, though my first inclination had been to wrap my arms around him and press my lips to his back. Why did I always have to second guess myself?
"It's a list of things we could do to try and get the business running better around here." Jacob gave me a sideway glance and turned his attention back to his dad, as if I were just anyone in the world.
I deserve that.
"Oh crap. That was the list we were supposed to pull together."
"Right. We're right in the middle of a conversation here, Emily. If you don't mind." He turned and pinned me with a mean stare.
Oh shit. It was worse than I thought.
"Actually, I do mind." I stepped closer to him and took a shallow breath. "I'm sorry. I was scared."
"Not good enough," he barked and closed the distance between us.
"Jacob," his father started, but Jacob jerked his head around and growled softly.
"No. This is between us. She fucked me over. Period."
"I did not." I reached out and gripped the sides of his neck, forcing him to look at me as horror raced through me. "I was scared, okay? I didn't know what to do but pull back."
; "And you promised that's the one thing you wouldn't do. Thank you very much for reinforcing why I'm a better man alone." He pulled from me and stormed down the hallway.
Warm tears burned my eyes, and I tried to wipe them away quickly.
"I'm so sorry." I turned to Mr. DeAngelo and half expected to get my ass chewed by him as well.
"It's alright, dear." He handed me a tissue and motioned for me to take a seat in his office. "Come on in."
"Thanks." I sat down and blew my nose as I tried to pull myself together. All the drama and high emotion was getting old. I was ready for some semblance of peace.
"Do you care about my boy?" He sat back in his chair and kept a pleasant look on his face.
"Yes. I've just been running from wanting him in my life for three years. No one really measures up, so it's easy to keep everyone at a distance. I know he understands that."
"Of course he does. Just go show him some love and he'll melt. I've never seen him have such strong emotion toward anyone but his mother. He usually doesn't care at all about women."
"And I can see why." I pointed to myself and let my head drop as I closed my eyes. "I just don't want to start caring too much and lose him."
"And what if that's a lie you keep telling yourself?"
"I don't know. Then I'll never experience anything as great as he and I could be together."
"Perhaps. You're young, Emily. Get out there and give your heart to a great boy, like Jacob. See what happens. If it ends, then you try again. I'll never give up looking for love."
"No matter how many times it kicks you in the chest?" I had to know.
"That's right. I would rather limp across the finish line bruised and beaten up by love than never experience the incredible high it provides when it's good, when it's right, when it's real."
I wasn't sure I'd ever experienced that type of relationship, but hearing him talk about it left me wanting to.
"Thank you." I reached out and squeezed his hand. "I want that feeling."
"So does my boy, and he's well worth the effort."
"I think you're right." I walked toward the hall in search of him. He was angry with me and hurt by my stupid need to protect myself, but one person could make that right.
Me.
Chapter 20
Jacob
Fuck her for standing me up every night for the last week and then coming into work and acting like everything was fine. I laid in bed wondering what I'd done wrong each night until I was blue in the face. The lack of sleep and strain I was feeling due to overexertion left me itching for a fight.
I prayed for her sake that she would be smart and steer clear of me for the rest of the night. She didn't want what I was offering, and she didn't have the courage to tell me, so she ignored me. Awesome.
"What time is your shift over?" She stopped beside me, but didn't touch me, which was a good thing.
"What do you care, Emily?" I turned to face her.
"Because I was hoping maybe we could go out and spend some time together."
"It would actually be easier if you would stop dicking around with my heart and just tell me here that you're not interested. You got a piece of ass from me, and that's all you were after." I waved my hands around, wishing I could rein in the drama king that had currently taken over my head. "You and every other bitch on this campus."
"Hey." She slapped me hard, pulling me back from my crazy far better than I expected. "Just because you've been hurt in the past doesn't give you the right to assume I'm going to hurt you too."
I rubbed my cheek and shook my head. "You've been hurting me all week. Being ignored isn't exactly the best way to see if two people are compatible. At least not where I come from."
"I fucked up, Jacob. I was trying to think through things, and I should have just been straight forward with you. I didn't want a piece of ass last weekend. I wanted you." She pressed her hand to my chest and glanced down as if ashamed. "I still do."
"Then why are you running?" I pressed my fingers under her chin and studied her as she glanced up. The woman had the ability to steal my heart if she would only try a little. Part of me was glad she hadn't, but a larger part needed her to so fucking bad. I wanted to belong to a good woman, to figure out who I was while she was tucked to my side, loving me through my shit as best she could.
I didn't need perfection. I needed her.
"I don't know. Don't let me run again. Please." She pressed up on her feet and brushed her lips by mine tentatively, as if she were scared I would deny her.
I wrapped my arms around her and leaned down, consuming her mouth and drinking her in until she started to pant. The soft wetness of her tongue felt so good against mine, and I rocked against her before sliding my hands down to cup her ass and squeeze. I was such a pussy around her, but it was part of the deal. Lucas was a wimp around Aubrey and I had no doubt Jayce would be a wimp if him and Layla ever got together. Hell, he was a wimp already.
Layla.
I broke the kiss and took a quick breath. "Don't let me forget I need to call Layla tonight. Fuck. It's been a week since Lucas asked me to check on her."
"What's wrong with her?" Emily slipped her hands up the back of my shirt and ran her soft fingers along my spine, rubbing my aching muscles and lulling me into a calm I needed beyond anything else.
"I don't know. He thinks someone is hitting her." I leaned down and kissed Emily a few more times. "No more fucking with my heart. I don't trust women as it is, Em. Remember that."
"Okay. Just stop being pissy with me." She slipped one of her hands into my jeans and squeezed my bare ass, grating her nails over it. "Take me home with you tonight."
"I got practice, but you can come with me if you're up for it. There's a lot of guys that bring their girls." I touched the side of her face and studied her. "I'm sorry for being an ass. I was hurt."
"I know. I'm sorry for being scared. It was dumb." Her lips lifted in a cocky smile. "So I'm your girl now?"
"Shit, I don't know. Are you?" I moved my hands to her hips and stepped back. "I'm not interested in another one-night-stand with you. We're gonna try this dating thing out or we're done. We can be friends if you want, but I want more. It might take me a while to get over that shit."
"No. Let's go on a date tonight and take things slow."
"Does that mean no sex?" I groaned low in my chest.
"I just meant on the relationship part. The sex is a must." She moved both of her hands to grip the front of my waistband. "You haven't slept with anyone else this week, right?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Really?"
"I know how much you enjoy sex."
"As much as you do." I leaned down and nipped at her perfect mouth. "Come on. Let's get this afternoon over with so we can drive up to Mount Ida together. I'll put on a show for you."
"And I'll do the same for you." She turned and walked toward the walk-in freezer. "Tonight. In your bedroom."
"How about now?" I spun around and followed after her as she yelped and ducked into the freezer.
*
I was still in amazement by how fast she could turn my mood around as we drove up toward my soccer practice later that evening. The woman had power, and it was honestly a bit frightening.
"Have you talked to your mom or your sister this week?" I reached over and took her hand, bringing it to rest on my thigh. Us messing around a little all over my father's pizza parlor had my cock nice and hard for no reason. We weren't going to get any time together before I had to get on the field.
"No, but I talked with my Aunt Dara last night. She's working on the paperwork now to take custody of Cally, which is the best thing that can happen. I guess I could move home, but I'm not sure I would be able to raise a teenage kid either." She shrugged and moved closer on the old bench seat. "I did get all of my stuff out of Brody's place last weekend and haven't heard anything from him. I guess you handing him his ass a few times left him to where he didn't want to mess with me again."
/> "Good." I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "And what about paying for your cheerleading stuff? Is that still something you're stressing over?"
"Heck yeah. Its a thousand dollars. I'll go over there soon and talk with Coach. I'm either going to have to get an extension and set up a payment plan, or quit."
"You're not quitting. You love cheerleading, right?"
"Yeah, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made, you know?"
I smiled and let my eyes run down her beautiful body. We would figure out how to cover the costs. Nobody had to give up what they loved over money. I needed to change the subject before I promised her the world. "I missed you this week. I didn't wanna miss you, but I did."
She laughed and brushed her hand down the inside of my thigh, rubbing my sack a few times before teasing me. "I missed you to. I'm such an idiot sometimes."
"I'm an idiot all the time." I kissed the side of her head and turned my attention back on the road.
"I should make it up to you."
"No you don't-" I paused as she moved back and laid down in the seat, scooting close enough that her head was in my lap.
"Oh you don't want me to?" She reached for the top of my soccer shorts and tugged them down. My erection was poking out of the top of my underwear, which was nothing new. Seeing her eyes widen made it all that must more enjoyable though.
"Actually, as badly as my feelings were hurt, it would be a good idea for you to pay me back, but only if you're up for it." I brushed her hair back and pressed my teeth to my bottom lip as she moved closer and rolled her tongue over my head. "Shit."
"Mmmm... You taste good." She sucked around the ribbed edge of my dick before leaning in farther and tugging my underwear down.
I lifted my hips and groaned loudly as she took me in her mouth, working me slow at first and then faster. I slid my fingers into her hair and helped her set a pace that would have me shaking in a matter of minutes. For a woman that didn't get around much, she knew exactly what to do to please me.
The loud slurping sound filled with her soft whimpers pushed me toward explosion much faster than I wanted.
