"That's a suburb, right?"
"Yeah. You really need to drive around. Check out the city. You have a car, right?"
"I do. I just haven't taken the time to go explore anywhere yet." He rips off a piece of fritter but doesn't eat it. "Would you be willing to show me around sometime? Like maybe this weekend? I could drive. I'd just need you to tell me where to go."
"I can't. And in case you didn't realize it, that was a question."
"More of a request." He half smiles.
"Same thing."
"Not really."
I stare at him and he laughs.
"Okay, you got me. I won't ask anymore. It's your turn. You pick what we talk about."
I pause. "I never thought about the egg thing."
"What egg thing?"
"That thing you said earlier. Why it's called eggplant when it has no relation to eggs. It doesn't even look like an egg."
"I know, right? Doesn't make sense. Same with pineapple. No relation to apples and yet it's in the name. Or why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
I laugh. "That's funny. I never thought about that. Why do so many words not make sense?"
"And yet we all use them as if they do. We just go along with it even though we know it's not right." He looks down and his expression turns serious.
"What's wrong?"
He shakes his head. "Nothing. Just something that happened at work today. Not at the office, but during lunch. It bothered me but I need to just let it go."
"What happened?"
He glances out at the street before looking back at me. "I had lunch with one of my co-workers, Lisa. She's older than me, probably late thirties. Anyway, we went to lunch to talk about a client and on the way there she kept making these comments. Actually, she made them during lunch, too, and on our way back to the office."
"Comments about what?"
"Homeless people," he says.
My chest tightens and I get a nervous quiver in my stomach. "What about them?"
5
Raine
"She just kept saying all this stuff," Miles says, "about how she can't stand looking at them, having them around. How the city should kick them out. I know she has a right to her opinion but I didn't agree with it, and the thing that's been bothering me the most is that I didn't speak up. I was afraid to challenge her or even offer my opinion because I didn't want to get in trouble. She's a lot higher up than me at the law firm and I'm sure if she wanted to, she could get me fired."
"Just for giving your opinion?"
"If you met this woman, you'd know what I'm talking about. If she doesn't like someone, she'll do anything to get rid of them. She fired her nanny today and I'm guessing that wasn't the first time that's happened."
"So you didn't say anything?" I ask. "When she said that stuff about the homeless?"
"Not really. I figured it wasn't worth it. It's not like she'll change her mind. Actually, I did challenge her a little on it and she told me I was naive. And too nice to be a lawyer. She said I have to be a shark, not a goldfish." He rolls his eyes. "She's so condescending. I don't like being around people like that."
"Do you have to work with her?"
"Not all the time, but on some stuff, yeah. The thing is, I get that she doesn't want these people around. I just don't like the way she talks about them, like they're not even people."
My anger rises but I remain calm. "So you agree they shouldn't be around? The homeless people?"
"I'm not saying they should be kicked out of the city. I'm just saying I understand they make people uncomfortable but—"
"Do they make YOU uncomfortable?" I ask, my anger beginning to show.
He shrugs. "Sometimes. Every time I walk down the street I get asked for money. I was trying to have dinner in the park last night and—"
"Did you ever think how THEY feel?" I lean across the table, glaring at him. "You say you're uncomfortable, but what about them? You think it's comfortable to sleep on cold hard pavement every night? You think it's comfortable to be starving all the time? You think it's comfortable to not be able to shower and have to wear the same clothes every day?"
"No." He rears back because I'm practically in his face. "Raine, that's not what I'm saying. Why are you getting so angry about this?"
I take a breath and sit back. "I just don't like how people only see one side. Or how they just assume all homeless people are lazy when they could be homeless because of something completely out of their control. Some people end up on the streets because they have shitty luck. It's not like they WANT to be there."
"Which is what I was trying to say. Hey, why don't we talk about something else?"
"Why? Because talking about this makes you uncomfortable?" I stand up. "It doesn't matter. I gotta go. I've already stayed too long."
He gets up. "Hold on. Before you go, can I at least get your number?"
"Don't have one,” I say, grabbing my coffee cup.
"Don't have what?"
"A number. A phone." I walk to the door.
Miles follows behind. "If you don't want to give me your number, that's fine. But can I give you mine? Just in case you ever want to meet again?"
I turn to him. "For the last time, I don't have a phone. I think they're a waste of money and I don't need one. As for meeting again? I don't think it's a good idea." I open the door. "Thanks for the coffee."
He waits at the door and watches me walk away, which means I have to walk in the opposite direction of where I live. Gladys is going to wonder where I am. I'm usually there by now, back in the small beat-up tent we call home. I take it down every morning in case the cops decide to show up and tell us we can't be there, which happened a few months ago. Ever since then, I wait until night to put it up, still worried we'll get told we have to leave, but so far, the cops haven't been back.
By now, Gladys is probably worried sick. I should've run out and told her where I was, making up some excuse to Miles about why I had to leave. But knowing him, he'd question whatever fake story I came up with.
I thought I liked him, but now? I realize he's just like everyone else. Thinking he knows everything about the homeless when he doesn't have a clue. Okay, so maybe he didn't come out and state his assumptions but I know he has them. Everyone does, or at least the people who've never experienced the hell of not having a place to live. It sucks and it's not a decision but a reality forced on me, and others, because of whatever got us to this point. For me it was a series of wrong decisions made worse by trusting the wrong people, or one in particular.
"Gladys." I see her sitting in her lawn chair and race up to her.
"Raine!" She slowly gets up. She has arthritis and doesn't move too fast. "I was so worried, dear." She cups my face. "Where have you been?"
"In the coffee shop. Sorry, I should've come out and told you." I hold up my cup. "You want the rest of this? It's a pumpkin latte."
She looks at it. "Latte? Those are expensive. Did Shelly give that to you?"
"No. Someone um...bought it for me." I sit down on the milk crate, feeling embarrassed to tell her this, although I don't know why.
"Who?" she asks, sitting back down on her lawn chair.
"It was a guy. I met him last night. Well, I didn't actually meet him. I saw him and said hi. He was in the coffee shop when I went in to use the bathroom."
"And you saw him again today?"
"Yeah, he was on the street on his way to the coffee shop. He had his laptop. He was going to work on stuff for his job. He's a lawyer." I chew on my lip, wondering why I told her all that and why I even remembered it. By now, I should've wiped that guy from my head. He's just some stranger I had coffee with who I doubt I'll ever see again.
"Why did he buy you coffee?" she asks, caution in her voice. Like me, she trusts almost no one. It's how you have to be when you live on the streets.
"It was a stupid bet. I told him I liked apple fritters but that they run out of them by noon. We made a deal that if th
ey had one left I'd agree to have coffee with him. I never in a million years thought they'd have one left. But they did, so I was stuck having coffee with him."
"How old is this man?"
I shrug. "Not sure. Maybe 25? 26?"
Her brows draw together. "Don't see him again. Stay away from him."
"I didn't plan to see him again. Why are you looking at me like that?"
She points her finger at me and scowls. "Because that man is up to no good. You're a smart girl, Raine, but if a young man gets your attention, charms you, buys you things, you'll find yourself in trouble, like you did last time."
"Like I don't know that?" I ask, angry at her for bringing up my past. She knows it's not something I want to talk about. I'll always feel stupid for not seeing Rob for who he really was, for missing the signs, only seeing what I wanted to see. I fell for his charm and good looks and his money and look where it got me. Out here on the streets.
"I'm not trying to dig at old wounds," Gladys says. "I just want you to be careful. There are men out there who see a pretty girl like you and think it'd be easy to get their way with you. They think if they offer you something you'll agree to—"
"Yeah, I know all that. I know guys want sex. I get harassed every time I go out to find food. But Miles is...he's not like that. Or maybe he is, but it doesn't matter because I'm not going to see him again."
"Did he ask to see you again?"
I hesitate. "Yes. But I didn't agree to it. I told him no."
"If he works around here, he'll see you. But don't talk to him. Do you hear me?" She reaches over and squeezes my arm. "Please tell me you'll stay away from him."
I yank my arm away. "I'm not a kid. I don't need to be told what to do." I take a breath. "Let's just stop talking about this. So what happened today? Anyone come by?"
She sighs. "Oh, Raine."
"What?"
"He already has your attention. I can tell by the way you talk about him and how defensive you're getting. You feel something for this young man. That's not good."
I shoot up to standing. "I don't feel anything for him! He's just some stupid guy that hangs out at the coffee shop. Why are you turning this into something it's not? And for the record, I'm defensive because you're making up stuff that isn't true."
"Calm down, dear. I wasn't trying to upset you." She coughs, the loud hacking cough she's had for months that never gets any better because she can't afford a doctor or medicine. It makes me feel bad for getting angry at her.
I sit back down on the crate. "Nothing's going to happen. I promise." I look down at the cracked concrete in front of me, kicking the loose pieces around. "Even if I liked him, it'd never go anywhere. Not when he found out."
"Found out what, dear?"
"Found out I live here. On the streets."
"He doesn't know?" she asks, sounding shocked.
"No. I didn't tell him. I was going to, but then we started talking and I never got around to it."
"How could he not know? You're out there every day. He had to have seen you."
My heart feels heavy hearing her words. I want so badly to have a normal life. A life where I can have coffee with a guy like Miles and actually have it go somewhere, even if it's just a first date. But that's not my life and soon he'll see me digging in the trash and know I'm one of them. The people who make him, and everyone else, uncomfortable.
"He's new in town," I explain. "He hasn't seen me looking for food. He assumed I was in college. I told him I'm not but didn't say any more than that. I was going to. I just couldn't make myself do it."
"Because you like this boy. It's what I've been trying to tell you." She turns to me. "My mind may not be as sharp as it once was but my eyes still work and they can see that you feel something for this boy."
"Because I WANT to feel that way, not because I do. I want to have a guy flirt with me because he likes me, not because he thinks I'll give him my body for money." My eyes are wet and I squeeze them shut, refusing to cry. "That's how they look at me."
I feel her hand on my arm. "It won't always be like this. Someday soon, you'll get back on your feet. You'll get a good job, a nice little apartment, and you'll meet a boy. A boy who cares about you. Loves you."
"I thought I had that. I was sure of it. But I was wrong." I open my eyes and look at her. "What if I'm wrong again? I don't trust myself to give my heart to someone again."
She smiles. "You will. And next time you'll know when it's real. You're smarter now. You'll know when a boy isn't being true. You'll see the signs."
I nod and look away.
After a few minutes, I get up and get ready for bed. For us, that means putting up the tent and laying the blankets inside. I lay down, feeling the hard concrete under me. Gladys lays down beside me, coughing, like she always does when she lays down.
About a half hour later, as I'm falling asleep, I hear Gladys say, "It was nice he took you for coffee."
It WAS nice, but it wasn't real. What's real is sleeping on the ground in an old, ripped, smelly tent, my stomach growling because half a fritter is all I've had to eat the past twelve hours. What's real is wondering when I'll eat again, if I'll be safe tonight, if the cops will show up and tell us we have to leave.
That's reality. Miles is just a dream.
6
Miles
"You going with us tonight?" Devin asks as I go in the break room to fill my water bottle.
"Going where?" I ask.
"The new hires are meeting at the brewhouse down the street. Didn't Mark tell you?"
"I haven't seen him today."
Mark started the same day I did, but Devin's worked here a couple months. He's been out of law school for two years and used to work at a firm in Nevada but didn't like the job or living in the desert so ended up here.
"You should join us," he says. "Unless you have plans."
I don't, but I was thinking of going back to the coffee shop tonight to see if Raine shows up there. She didn't agree to have coffee with me again but I'd still like to see her.
I don't know what happened last night. I keep thinking about it and I'm still confused. Raine and I were talking, laughing, and seemed to be having a good time, but then she got up and left. And she wouldn't give me her number. I definitely felt something between us, so why did she get up and leave like that?
I'm thinking she must have a boyfriend, in which case, she should've just told me. Or maybe she wasn't interested in me, but I could've sworn she was, given how she was looking at me. And I could feel it. I could feel the attraction between us. It wasn't just me.
"You got a girlfriend?" Devin asks, rinsing out his coffee cup at the sink.
"A girlfriend?" I ask, my mind still on Raine.
"Yeah." He chuckles. "You know, a girlfriend. A girl you date on a regular basis?"
I smile. "I know what a girlfriend is, and no, I don't have one. I just moved to town. I don't know anyone."
"I was thinking you might've had one back home. Like maybe you were doing the long-distance thing."
"No. I'm single. How about you?"
"She broke up with me when I took this job. Said she didn't want to move here." He goes to the coffee maker and pours himself a cup.
"Were you guys serious?"
"We'd dated almost a year but I knew it wasn't going anywhere. We should've broke up months ago." He takes his coffee and walks over to me. "Anyway, there's this girl that works on the fourth floor that was asking about you."
The law firm shares the building with several other companies. We're on the tenth floor. The fourth floor is rented out by a real estate firm.
"What'd she say?" I ask.
"We didn't talk long. We were waiting for the elevator. She asked if I knew you and if you had a girlfriend."
"And what'd you say?"
"I told her I knew you but wasn't sure about the girlfriend. You should go down and talk to her. She's really hot. Blonde hair. Great body. I'd date her in a heartbeat if she was inte
rested."
"Is she a real estate agent?"
"Office manager. I'm sure you've seen her. She always wears those tight skirts and really high heels. Today she had on a black dress."
"Oh, yeah, I know who you're talking about. I saw her in the lobby this morning."
He smiles. "What do you think? You going to ask her out?"
"I don't even know her."
"But she wants to know YOU. You should go down there right now. Invite her out for a drink. I guarantee she'll say yes."
"I don't want to go down there while she's working. I'll talk to her next time I see her in the lobby."
"Okay, but if you wait too long she'll find someone else. A girl that hot doesn't stay single long."
The girl he's talking about IS gorgeous and I'm flattered that she's interested in me. The only problem is I'm interested in someone else. A girl I can't even contact because she wouldn't give me her number. I'll just have to keep going back to that coffee shop. I've seen her there twice now so she must live around there.
"What about tonight?" Devin asks.
"Let me think about it. I'll let you know."
He nods. "See ya later."
As Devin walks out of the break room, Lisa walks in. "There you are. I was looking all over for you."
"Why? What do you need?"
"I need you to do some research for me. I don't have time to do it so Calvin assigned you to help."
Calvin is Lisa's boss. He's worked here for years and about to make partner.
"What do I need to research?"
She motions me to follow her. "Walk fast. We have to hurry so I can get back for my meeting."
I follow her to the elevator. "Where are we going?"
"I need coffee. My kids had me up all night and I'm exhausted."
"There's coffee in the break room."
She gives me deadpan stare. "You can't be serious. Nobody drinks that coffee. It's black sludge."
I think the coffee is good but I'm not going to argue with her about it. Challenging her on stuff is only going to make it more difficult for me to work here. She'll make sure to make my life hell.
Home With You Page 5
