"I'm not telling you." She tries to go around me but I block her. "Miles, get out of my way."
"Not until you tell me."
"You don't need to know. It's over."
"It's not over! That asshole needs to pay for whatever he did to you!"
"This is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd react this way. Now let me go. I need to shower."
"Will you talk to me after you shower?"
She doesn't answer as she pushes past me to go down the stairs. Moments later I hear the shower running.
Why won't she tell me anything? You can't drop a bomb like that and then not explain what happened. Some asshole tried to kill her? What does that mean exactly? Did he threaten her, or did he really try to kill her? Either way, I want to hunt him down and make him pay for whatever he did to her.
I get dressed and go down to the dryer to get her clothes. I bring them to the bathroom and knock on the door.
"Raine, I have your clothes."
She opens the door, wrapped in a towel, her hair wet. "Thanks." She takes the clothes from me.
"Mind if I use the shower?"
She steps aside. "It's all yours."
"You won't leave, right? While I'm showering?"
"Not if you promise to stop asking me about my ex."
I look at her with frustration, not wanting to agree to her request but knowing she'll leave if I don't.
"Okay, fine. Just don't go, okay?"
She steps out of the bathroom and when she closes the door behind her, I'm not convinced she'll stick around. I take a quick shower, then hurry out of the bathroom to check if she's still there. I find her upstairs, looking out the window at the city skyline.
"You like living here?" she asks.
"So far I do." I walk behind her, wearing nothing but a towel around my waist. She's already dressed, wearing the clothes I gave her from the dryer.
"I wouldn't want to live downtown," she says, still staring out the window.
"Where do you want to live?"
She turns to me. "I don't know. I used to think I wanted a house in the suburbs. A nice two story with a big yard for a dog and maybe a couple kids someday."
"But you don't want that now?"
"No." She walks past me to the bed and sits down.
"Why not?" I ask, going to sit beside her.
"I already had it. But without the dog and the kids."
Knowing I can't ask her anything, I keep quiet and wait to see what she'll say next. Maybe if I don't push her, she'll tell me about her past without me asking.
She lies back on the bed, her legs dangling over the side, and closes her eyes. "It was a two story with this beautiful gray stone on the outside and big white columns in front by the door. It had five bedrooms. Four baths. When Rob first took me there, I couldn't figure out why he wanted a house that big. When I asked him, he told me it was because he wanted a family someday. He just needed to find the right girl." She pauses. "I really thought he meant it. And maybe part of him did."
I lie beside her, but remain quiet. I don't know what changed her mind, but now that she's opening up to me I don't want her to stop.
"He didn't own the house," she says. "He rented it. I found that out later. He didn't tell me. I found out when the owner showed up one day to check something on the furnace. It was the first lie I found out about. But not the last." She takes a breath, her eyes still closed like she's reliving the story as she tells it. "When I asked Rob about the house and why he didn't tell me it wasn't his, he said he thought I already knew he was renting it. He said he never told me he owned it. It was true. He never did. But he never told me he didn't either. That's how he got around the truth. By keeping things from me and leading me to assumptions that weren't true. He was smart that way. Smarter than I gave him credit for."
Silence fills the room as she lies there, not moving, her eyes closed, as if she's in her own world. The one she used to live in. The one she somehow escaped. Minutes pass by before she continues.
"He was ten years older than me, but when I saw him I was immediately drawn to him. The other waitresses were too. I was working with three other girls that day and we all stopped and stared at him as he walked in. It wasn't just because of his looks. It was because of how he carried himself, with so much confidence and power, like he owned whatever room he walked in. He definitely owned the attention of all the girls in the restaurant that night. But he was seated at my table."
She suddenly gets up from the bed and goes to the window, her back to me. Afraid she'll stop talking if I go over there, I stay where I'm at.
"He smiled at me. Asked me questions. Acted interested in me like no guy ever had. Before he left, we made plans to go out. The other waitresses were so jealous, wishing they were me. Nobody had ever wished they were me." She leans against the window sill, gazing out at the city. "I think that's why I fell for him so fast. Because he was something every other girl wanted but he was mine. He wanted me over anyone else. He chose me." She pauses. "That should've been my clue that something wasn't right. Why would a guy like him choose someone like me? He was rich. Successful. Drove an expensive car. Lived in a beautiful house. Why would he want some waitress he picked up in a truck-stop restaurant off the interstate?"
She looks down a moment, then back up, gazing out the window. "I moved in with him soon after we started dating. He told me to quit my job. That I didn't need money. That he'd take care of me. And he did. For over a year I lived in his house, ate his food, wore the clothes he bought me. I thought he did all that out of love but it was really to control me. To make sure I stayed with him. I still don't know why he wanted that. Why he wanted me and not some other girl. I guess maybe he thought I was the type of girl to keep quiet. He knew about my past. About the drugs and the arrest. He knew I grew up with almost nothing and had parents that didn't want me. I guess he thought a girl like me would do anything to keep the life that he'd given me. Problem is, I'm not that girl."
Raine turns to me. "So there you go. That's the story. It's why I don't trust myself to be with someone like you. Or any guy. I made a huge mistake with Rob. I only saw what I wanted to see. I didn't see the truth. I can't make that mistake again."
I get up and walk over to her. "I'm not him. I would never do whatever it is he did to you."
"That's what you don't get. I never thought Rob was bad until the day I found out the truth about him. Before that, the signs were there but I didn't see them. I was too blinded by what I felt for him. What I wanted to believe."
"It's not the same with me."
Her eyes go to mine. "You chose me, Miles. You saw me in the coffee shop that night and chose me as the girl you wanted to date. You pursued me. You bought me food. Clothes. Put a roof over my head." She looks down. "It's almost scary how similar it is. I feel like I'm doing it all over again."
I grasp her arms to get her to look at me. "Raine, I did those things to help you, not control you. There's no strings attached. I don't expect anything in return. I gave you those things because I care about you. I wanted you to have a tent that wasn't ripped to shreds. And clothes that would keep you warm. I gave you food so you wouldn't have to eat out of the trash. You made it clear you wouldn't date me and yet I still gave you that stuff. That should prove to you I'm not doing all this because I think it'll make you go out with me."
"But you're hoping for that. You said it yourself. You want that and you haven't given up."
"Because it's hard to give up when you feel this strongly for someone." I let go of her but keep my eyes on hers. "I know you say you don't want this, but I also know you have feelings for me. I know you're scared and now I know why—well, kind of. I don't really know the whole story yet but I know you're afraid to trust what you feel. I'm afraid too. I've been lied to and cheated on, and after that, I didn't want to date again. I didn't want to be hurt like that again. But then I met you and I was willing to risk it. That's how I knew you weren't just any girl."
"
It's different for me." Raine goes to the stairs and sits down on the top step. "Rob didn't just lie. He created this life, this fantasy life, to draw me in and keep me so that I'd never leave him. He used money and possessions to control me, knowing how much I wanted those things. How much I wanted that life."
"But then it ended," I say, hoping it'll spur her to finish the story.
She looks down at her hand, running her finger over her palm. "Someone showed up at the door. A girl. Maybe 17? She was cute. Short and tiny with blond hair in a braid that hung over her shoulder. I thought maybe she was there to sell me something. Like maybe she was doing a fundraiser for her school." Raine continues to run her finger over the center of her palm. "But then she shoved money at me and told me to hurry up. I had no idea why she gave me money or what she was talking about. When I asked her, she tried to shove the door open and started yelling for Rob. I held the door and wouldn't let her in. She kept yelling for Rob and I got this sick feeling in my stomach, thinking he'd cheated on me with this girl."
Raine stops suddenly, gazing down the stairs at the living room below.
"Did he?" I ask, but then wish I'd kept quiet. I'm trying not to push her to talk but I want her to finish. I need the end of the story. "Was he cheating?"
"No. Or at least that's what he told me when he tried to explain. But it was too late. I wasn't taking him back. Not after I found out what he'd been doing. How he made all that money."
She wipes her eyes and I rush up beside her, kneeling down and putting my arm around her. "It's okay. You can tell me."
She nods and moves over as I sit beside her on the step.
"The girl wouldn't leave. I told her Rob wasn't home but she wouldn't leave. She said she needed the pills. That she was desperate and couldn't wait."
"Pills?" I ask. "What kind of pills?"
"Pain pills." Raine sighs. "The same kind I was addicted to. Turns out Rob was a dealer. He was selling prescription pain meds to anyone and everyone who would give him money, even someone as young as this girl." Raine wipes her eyes again. "I was almost the same age as her when I started. I was supposed to get a job and go to community college. I had plans for my life. But it all ended when a guy offered me a pill."
"What guy?"
"A guy I met at the mall. I was walking around and he saw me and said he noticed I wasn't walking right. I told him about the car accident. How it hurt my back. He offered me a pill. It made the pain go away so I asked for another. And another after that. I couldn't stop. As long as I paid him, Jacob gave me as many as I wanted. He's the friend I told you about. The one who got me hooked."
"He wasn't a friend."
"No, but at the time I thought he was. It was another stupid mistake. I trusted him like I trusted Rob. I kept trusting the wrong people. But going back to this girl, the one who showed up at the door, I told her I'd tell Rob she stopped by but she wouldn't go. She started getting really mad and that's when I recognized the signs. The need. The desperation. Not letting anyone stand between you and the drugs. She took a knife out and slit my hand." Raine holds up her palm, showing me the scar. "Then she shoved the door open and ran up the stairs. I followed her and found her in the spare bedroom. She opened the closet where Rob kept his suits and other work clothes. He dressed there in the mornings so he wouldn't wake me up. The girl took one of his suit jackets from the hanger and started searching the pockets. She pulled out a plastic bag. It was full of pills. The same kind I'd taken. The kind that ruined my life." Raine drops her head, shaking it side to side. "It was then I realized I'd been dating a man who was purposely leading others down the path I'd been on. The path that took away the plans I had for my life and almost landed me in prison."
"So he was like the guy you met at the mall? He found people and got them hooked?"
"No. He hired people to do that. People like Jacob, the guy who made me an addict. I never met the dealer Jacob worked for but I used to imagine him looking like the devil, with a red suit and a black tie. Turns out it was a black suit and a blue tie."
"Wait." I turn to her. "Are you saying..." I wait for her to tell me.
She nods. "Rob was the dealer. He sold the pills to Jacob and Jacob went out and found users. He got a commission for each sale."
"But Jacob's in jail. So why isn't Rob?"
"They couldn't trace it back to him. He's good at covering his tracks. He hires guys like Jacob so that they'll be the ones who get arrested, not Rob." Raine takes a breath and shuts her eyes. "I was dating the man who made me an addict. I know it wasn't him directly but he was the one in charge of it all. The one who got the pills and distributed them to guys like Jacob. He trained them on what type of people to look for. People like me, who were obviously in pain. Then he trained him on what to say to get people to trust him. The first three pills were free. Just enough to get the person hooked. Rob knew exactly what he was doing. He'd developed a system and it worked. It was why he was so rich. And the worst part?" A tear slides down her cheek. "I benefitted from that money. The house. The clothes. The car he got me. The jewelry. It was all bought with money he got from addicts. People just like me whose lives had been ruined by Rob, the guy I thought I loved."
"Holy shit," I mutter. That wasn't the story I was expecting her to tell. I don't know what I thought she'd say but it definitely wasn't that. "And he told you all this?"
"Not until a week later. Rob was out of town when that girl came over. He was on a business trip, probably trying to recruit new sellers so he could expand his territory. I didn't want to confront him over the phone so I waited until he got home. By then, I had a plan to leave. I should've left while he was gone but I didn't. Part of me didn't believe it was true. I didn't want to believe Rob had done this and had been lying to me the whole time."
"Did he admit to what he'd done?"
She nods. "When he got home from his trip, I dropped the bags of pills in front of him and told him to start talking. At first he tried to deny it. He said they weren't his. I tossed more bags at him, the others I'd found hidden in the house, and demanded he tell me the truth. He did, but only if I asked him questions. He wouldn't admit to anything himself. I had to come to my own conclusions, then ask him if they were true."
"And after that, you tried to leave?"
"I should've, but I didn't. Because I didn't have a place to go. My plan was to stay with a friend from high school. I hadn't talked to her in years but she was the only friend I knew who would take me in. But when I looked her up online, I found out she'd joined the military and lived overseas. Next I called my dad but his number changed. Someone else picked up and said they'd never heard of him. I knew he'd moved but he never told me he got a new phone number. I'm not sure where he is now. The info I found online is all old. So I decided to stay with Rob until I could find a new place to live. But then two days later we had a huge fight and I threatened to tell the cops on him." She pauses. "That's all I remember."
"What do you mean?"
"He hit me so hard I passed out. When I woke up, I was in the hospital with bruises all over my body. He'd shoved pills down my throat, so many I could've died. But I got to the hospital just in time."
"How'd you get to the hospital?"
"I don't know. The nurse said someone dropped me off there but I don't know who. It could've been the pool guy. He was supposed to work later that morning and he had a key to the house. If he saw me like that he wouldn't just leave me. He liked me. We'd talk whenever he'd come over to clean the pool. I'm sure it was him who brought me in.”
“What happened to Rob? He took off?”
“He probably went to his office. I think he was hoping it'd look like I'd overdosed and fallen down the stairs to explain the bruises."
"I want to kill that fucker," I say, gritting my teeth. "Tell me where he lives and I'll make sure he pays for what he did to you."
"He doesn't live there anymore. When I was about to be released from the hospital, I called my neighbor and made up this story abo
ut how I was out of town and lost my phone and wanted her to tell Rob something. I didn't tell her or anyone else what had happened to me. I was too afraid of what he'd do to me if I told. Anyway, Doris, my neighbor, told me Rob had moved out a week ago, the same day I arrived at the hospital. She said new people were already moving in. Everything I had at the house was gone. My clothes. The phone he'd bought me. The car he gave me to use. It was all gone. I was homeless with my only possessions being the clothes I wore to the hospital." She turns to me. "That's it. The whole story."
She gets up and runs down the stairs.
I catch up with her in the kitchen. "Raine, you have to go to the police. You can't let that guy get away with this. Not only what he did to you but what he's still doing. He's a criminal and he needs to be in prison."
"He's gone, Miles," she says, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Along with my ability to trust myself and anyone I meet. I wish I could, and someday I will. But not now. It's too soon. That's why this has to end."
19
Raine
Miles stands across from me, looking like he's still trying to process what I said. My story was a lot to take in and I'm sure it's not at all what he was expecting. But it's the truth, and as much as I didn't want to relive it all just now, I had to tell him so he'd understand the reason we can't be together. If it were a different time and I was at a different place in my life, I'd date him without any hesitation. But we met at a time when my life's a mess and I need to figure things out, which tells me this relationship just wasn't meant to be.
Miles runs his hand through his hair. "I don't know what to say."
I turn and open the fridge. "I don't want you to say anything. I don't want to talk about it. I told you the story because I needed you to understand why we can't be anything more than friends." I shut the fridge. "I'm not the girl for you, Miles. You need to accept that and find someone else." I walk around him to the front door and pick up my backpack.
Home With You Page 17
