+Kai+
I knew the moment Cedric was back.
I lay curled up on the couch, tired from crying. Who would have thought that I had enough tears left in me? I certainly hadn't.
I heard my front door close and soon Cedric came into my line of vision. I lifted my eyes up until they met his. He stared back down at me, silent and watching. His eyes landed on the scarf I clung onto. His scarf.
"You left it again," I croaked out and winced at the raspy sound of my voice. Of course he could tell I've been crying. If my voice wasn't enough indication then my puffy red eyes sure was.
Cedric bent down before me and stared at the scarf. Then he lifted his eyes up to mine. "I leave it on purpose. It gives me an excuse to always come back."
I smiled wanly. He's such a weird boy.
"You chose me?" He asked. He sounded uncertain.
I nodded. "I chose you. Don't make me regret it."
Ced smiled, looking more boyish than I've ever seen him. "I wont."
I watched him take his jacket off, tossing it on the loveseat behind him. Then, without preamble, he scooped me up in his arms as if I weighed like nothing. I've always been slim but no one has ever carried me before like this...as if I was precious. I closed my eyes and didn't protest when he carried me back to my room. I knew that's where he was headed.
Cedric laid me gently on the bed and when I opened my eyes, I found him staring down thoughtfully at me. I reached up and touched his jaw. "What are you thinking?"
He knelt down by the bed. "Kai, I take it back. Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have said that I won’t make you regret choosing me."
I stared at him, completely confused. "What?"
Ced grabbed my hand and stared at it. "There will probably be times when I'll drive you crazy." He smiled. "I don't think that can be helped. I know my age will always weigh on your mind, will always make you worry if you made the right choice."
And he was right, I thought. But not the way he thinks. No...I'll wonder if I'm right for Cedric. I'll worry that maybe it's too soon for him to be in a kind of relationship with me. Or if he should be in a relationship with me at all. After all, this was a gay relationship. He'd have to face scrutiny from others if anyone else found out.
But that's something I'll worry about another time. Right now, I just wanted to be with Cedric. Right now, I just wanted him to hold me like he always does. He spoiled me like that.
As if reading my thoughts, Cedric climbed into bed with me. I scooted back and made room for him, sighing with content when he pulled me against his warm youthful body. I burrowed my nose against his chest and closed my eyes.
"Kai?"
"Hmm?"
"I'd really like to make love to you right now."
I chuckled and nudge the lower half of his body with my knee. "I can feel that."
"So...may I?"
This time I laughed out-right. "Aren't you going to ask what happened after you left?"
Cedric grew silent for a while before answering. "Honestly, I am curious, but it's better if you don't tell me. What went on between you and my brother is private."
"That's a very mature way of thinking."
I felt his shoulders lift up in a shrug. "It's just the way I am."
"Ced?"
"Yes?"
I lifted my head up to look at him. "I'd really like for you to make love to me, but right now...right now I just want to be held like this."
"Okay." Cedric held me tighter. "Got'cha."
I smiled and snuggled against him. I've never been the snuggling type before Cedric but now it was rather nice. To be held like this. I could hear Cedric's heart beating, feel it's rhythm against my cheek. The melody was lulling me to sleep.
"Cedric?"
"Hmm?"
"I want us to work out."
"So do I."
I started to drift off to sleep. "Ced?"
"Yes, Kai?"
"Stay the night."
I felt his arms tighten firmly around me. "Try and make me leave."
I smiled at the challenging tone in his voice, still filled with humor. Tomorrow we'll face our challenges but tonight...tonight we'll lie here like this and get lost in our own little world where we were both equals.
Just Cedric...and Kai.
+Cedric+
I've never thought that watching someone sleep would prove to be entertaining, yet here I am, enjoying myself as I watched Kai's sleeping face.
He was older than me yet he still clung onto my scarf like a child, snuggling deeply against me. Honestly he looked tired. This whole ordeal has been tough on him and I knew that forcing him to choose had weighed heavily on him. Still, knowing that it was me he had chosen made me very happy.
I brushed his dark bangs away from his forehead lightly and smiled when he mumbled incoherent words in his sleep. He looked tired, but he seemed to be resting pretty well now. If my body gave him comfort, then I'd gladly surrender it to him.
What was it that a character from my favorite childhood movie said to the girl he liked? Oh yes...
"Kai," I whispered, "can I keep you?"
His answer was more incoherent words.
I smiled. Ah well, it's fine if he doesn't answer. I'll just have to make sure that he didn't leave my side and go back to my brother. I'm not foolish enough to think that he'd be completely satisfied with me though.
I frowned at my own thoughts. Knowing him, Kai will worry about our age difference and it would be a burden to him because I was still in high school. Hmm...perhaps I should get a job. Even part time would make a good impression. Make me look a bit more independent.
Yes...a job. I'll start looking immediately. It would be a pain to get one because it would mean less time to spend with Kai but if it would make him worry a little less, see me as a man and not a "boy" then it was worth it.
"Kai," I whispered against his ear. "I'm keeping you."
***
"I don't wanna miss one smile, I don't wanna miss one kiss, I just wanna be here with you right here with you just like this. I just wanna hold you close, I feel your heart so close to mine, and just stay here right here in this moment for all the rest of time-" Aerosmith
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