by C. J. Thomas
“Audrey, darling, it’s so good to see you,” Mom said after making her way across the room.
The corner of my lips tugged as I let my hand fall to Mom’s shoulder. Leaning close to her ear, I whispered, “Love you, Mom.”
She patted my hand and distracted Audrey, allowing me to make my escape. Seeing as everyone was lost in their own world, I left the room. I tugged on my tie to loosen it, needing a quick breath of fresh air. Heading for the restroom, I pulled my phone from my pocket and put another call in to Sophia.
My feet stopped moving.
I waited, anxious for her to pick up.
The line continued to ring and I wanted her to know that I was willing to wait. If she needed time to process what I wanted us to be, that was fine. Our relationship was moving at the speed of light. I understood that. And it freaked me out, too. I got it. I’d listened to what she was saying, but I needed to know that was all this was and not something else.
The line clicked over to voicemail and I hung up without leaving a message. She would see that I had called and that was enough for me. At least for the time being.
By the time I was finished using the restroom, people were seated around the table. And there was only one seat left—directly next to Audrey.
Mother fucker.
Making my way around the table, I patted Mr. Rothschild’s shoulder and quickly greeted both him and his wife. Charlotte’s eyes never left me as I pulled out my chair and settled in next to Audrey. She smiled and looked away when Audrey leaned close to me and said, “Tell me that these two families don’t belong together.”
My eyes circled the table.
Silently, I agreed. Our families belonged together. Had always belonged together. Just not in the way that I knew she was referring.
She settled her hand on my thigh and said, “Isn’t this what you want, too?”
“No, Audrey.” I turned to meet her gaze. “It’s not.”
The low murmur of conversation filled the room as our meals were served. We drank wine and indulged in each course that was brought to the table. A few laughs broke out, but not from me. Tonight was hell. Pure agony. I didn’t want to be here, and Dad knew it. He kept stealing glances in my direction, making sure that I was fulfilling my family duty of entertaining Audrey.
Except, I wasn’t.
Just the thought of having her mistake my kindness tonight for something more sank me further into a depression that had started when I’d left Sophia on her front doorstep earlier this afternoon.
My thoughts were constantly on Sophia. Seared into my mind like an addiction and I wondered what she was doing now. Why she hadn’t picked up. If I should be worried about her. It didn’t feel right that I had to be the family martyr and make the sacrifice for something that Cooper wanted. Each second that went by I lost more interest in his campaign—didn’t care if he won or lost—and I knew that it showed in the way I was acting.
Raising my eyes to Coop, I watched his lively conversation with Mr. Rothschild. Dad and Mom were busy schmoozing Mrs. Rothschild, and judging the looks on all their faces, there wasn’t anything to worry about. Our families’ relationship remained strong. Unwavering. Tonight wasn’t about repairing anything other than Audrey’s fragile ego.
“Ah, politics is so boring,” Audrey moaned.
It was what everyone was talking about. What everyone was always discussing. Especially when Coop was around. Environmental regulations, gun rights, pro-choice, blue and red. That was actually one thing I could agree with Audrey on. Because after a while, I just tuned it out as well. “I’m sure you can find someone you’re willing to lift your dress up for at the bar.”
Audrey gave me the stink eye. “Really, Nolan?”
Suddenly, the other side of the table got louder and I listened in on what my brothers were arguing about.
“Everyone loves a war hero.” I heard Noah say to Trevor.
Trevor was leaning forward with both elbows on the table. He shook his head and then snapped, “I’m not doing it.”
“We all have to make sacrifices,” Noah argued.
Trevor’s face reddened. “I’m not a fucking hero.”
The table fell quiet and turned their attention on Trevor.
“And I don’t do public appearances.” Trevor pushed back from the table, staring directly at Coop.
“You’re such a fucking asshole,” Audrey murmured into my ear.
But nobody was paying her any attention. Everyone was wondering what Trevor was going to do next. We all knew he was struggling with coming home after his service and I had wondered how long it would take for someone in the family to suggest he should use his decorated career in the military to further Cooper’s career. But I hadn’t expected that to be here—and certainly not in front of the Rothschilds.
“This isn’t over.” Audrey set her wine glass down on the table and stood.
I raised my body, looking at her with a pinched brow.
Suddenly, everyone’s eyes were on us.
She turned and stormed toward the exit. I followed, knowing that if I didn’t stop her from leaving Dad was going to have my ass. And before she left the room she spun around and smiled. “This is only the beginning.”
I gave her an arched look.
“The media is going to love having you and I together. Just the way it was always supposed to be. Riding on the coattails of your brother’s success, we’ll be the next greatest couple to follow. All thanks in part to my father’s continued, unwavering support.” Then she turned and left.
Trevor slammed against my shoulder, nearly knocking me down. “Fuck you, Nolan. This is all your fault.” He marched out of the restaurant looking like the soldier he was.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it had.
37
Sophia
Sitting comfortably on my couch, I kicked my feet up as I worked.
All morning I kept my mind on updating my résumé. But despite my focused efforts, I wasn’t getting anywhere fast. I couldn’t stop looking out the window.
Keeping Nolan off my mind was proving to be impossible. He was everywhere. In my clothes, on my mind. A part of me regretted my decision to not fight and completely ignore what I’d heard his father say. But another part of me—the more rational side of my brain—wasn’t sure I wanted to find myself involved in a media inquisition as soon as his brother’s campaign got into full swing. Because whether or not Nolan was running himself, his family was going to be the center of attention.
I sighed.
Waiting a year to be with Nolan was too long. And so much could happen between now and then. He could meet someone new, or worse, Audrey could squeeze her way back into his life.
Turning my head back to my laptop screen, I didn’t even know if I would be able to stay working in Denver.
But worst of all, I knew that Nolan had spent last night by Audrey’s side when I was at home trying to keep myself from crying. That had proved to be impossible.
All night I’d hugged my pillow, softly crying into it. I cried for giving up on the job I had worked so hard to get. I sobbed for losing him. But what really had my insides twisted was that it was Nolan’s father who told him to leave me.
I glanced to the far wall and fixed my eyes on my own family. Framed behind glass, my parents smiled back at me. It was genuine, sincere, true. Nothing pretentious about their love. And certainly nothing like what I assumed Nolan’s parents were like.
Nolan’s dad didn’t even bother to know who I was. Didn’t introduce himself or make any indication that I was welcomed into his life, or that of his son’s. And it made me ill to think that a father would do that to his own flesh and blood. What did it matter who his son dated? Shaking my head, I couldn’t explain it.
I grinded my teeth. I knew there was nothing I could do to change the outcome of what happened. A part of me was convinced that I would never see him again. And not because I didn’t want to, but because his father had forbidd
en his son from inviting me into their family.
When my cell phone started ringing I leaned forward, setting my laptop onto the coffee table. Reaching for my buzzing phone, I saw Mom’s bright face lighting up the screen. She didn’t know I had quit my job. No one knew but Nolan. But I had to tell her. So as I answered, I began preparing my response for how I was going to break the news.
“Hey, Mom,” I answered.
“Hey, sweetie,” Mom answered in a high tone.
“You sound surprised I answered.”
“Honestly, I didn’t expect you to pick up.”
“You got me.” I smiled.
“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Her voice held friendly concern but nothing overbearing.
My gaze drifted to the clock. It made sense why Mom thought I might be busy. Normally at this time of day on a Tuesday, I would have been locked in meetings until lunch. “No. I’m home.” My brows drew together. “Is everything all right?”
“Everything is fine,” she assured me. “I was just calling to leave you a message, telling you how proud I am of your accomplishments and to make sure you know you’re valued—even if sometimes you might not think you are.”
My heart shattered into a million pieces as her words made me want to cry. I knew Mom loved me, supported me in anything I did, but I was already vulnerable because of the emotions of the last 24 hours. A tiny nudge could set me off. “I’m working on my résumé now.”
I could imagine Mom’s brow squish. “Because you were passed on the promotion?”
Without thinking, I told Mom what I had learned, how I never had a chance to move up the ladder. I didn’t hold back on the details until it came to telling her that I’d quit. I just couldn’t find the courage to do it. And as I was telling her the story, my eyes fell to the pearl necklace that Nolan had given me.
A feeling of emptiness consumed me as I was instantly transported back to the weekend and the mountains.
Inside, I laughed at the absurdity of the dishwasher fiasco. I smiled when replaying the banter between brothers, and my heartrate spiked when I remembered seeing Nolan swimming in the outside pool just before learning I had locked myself out of the condo. It was a weekend I would never forget. The drama, luxury, and, most importantly, the romance that kept me yearning for more.
“He was basically hired before I even interviewed.” I opened my eyes as the words effortlessly left my mouth.
“Good riddance,” Mom said.
“Mom—” I paused. “I quit.”
I heard her gasp and I closed my eyes. “Thus, rewriting my résumé.”
There was some scuffle on the line and when it clicked over to speaker, I heard Dad telling Mom he had something to say. “Hey, Sophia. It’s Dad.”
I smiled. Like it would be any other man. “I know, Dad.”
“I just heard what you told Mom. If you need money, please let us know.”
I rolled my eyes as I heard Mom arguing with Dad, telling him that I was fine. That it was only a job. That I was responsible and wouldn’t make an irrational decision without knowing I could handle the time between paychecks. And as I listened to her go through her list of reasons why offering me money was an insult, I couldn’t help but laugh and know how much I was loved by both of them.
That was why I was so sad for Nolan. If his parents were both like his father, having Nolan turn out so forgiving and compassionate was a pure miracle.
“Mom. Dad,” I said, loud enough to get them to stop. “I’m fine.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell him.” Mom’s voice filled the phone.
“Sophia, call me directly if you change your mind,” Dad pushed his way through.
“Thanks, Dad.” I continued to laugh.
“Okay, sweetie, I’ll stop interrupting your conversation.”
Mom clicked off of speaker and started saying something about Dad. “You know how your father is. He just wants what’s best for you. As do I.”
“I know, Mom. You’re right, though. I’m fine. It’s just going to take me a little while to find my groove.”
“You’re smart, something good will come along. I just know it. The world needs good software engineers like you.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I murmured, still not sure that was the career I wanted to get myself back into. “I better get going. I’d like to have this résumé finished by tonight.”
“Send it over for a quick review if you want.”
I felt my shoulders relax at Mom’s offer. “I will.”
“I love you, Soph. And, like Dad said, if you need anything you know where to find us.”
I told Mom I loved her as we said our goodbyes. Pulling my phone away from my ear, suddenly the burden of the unknown didn’t feel so overwhelming. My parents’ support meant the world to me. I put my phone down, and that was when I noticed the two missed calls—from yesterday.
And they were both from Nolan.
38
Nolan
I reached for my phone for what seemed like the millionth time.
I had a deep fear that I was going to miss something if I didn’t. Sophia had to know that I wanted to talk. Though I never left a message, the missed call I knew she would receive would tell her that I was at least thinking about her.
God, did I want to make things right between us. This was all my fault. If only I had waited one more day to initially see her and not taken her to the fundraiser, none of this would have happened. I owned my mistake and was willing to do anything to smooth out the wrinkles, but how long was I willing to wait?
I needed to hear her voice.
Needed to feel her soft porcelain skin beneath the tips of my fingers.
Without her I felt lost.
I inhaled a deep breath and, with a racing heart, flipped my phone around to see if she had messaged. Disappointment shrank my heart as my lungs deflated, expelling all my hopes in exchange for feelings of defeat.
Closing my eyes, my head hit the headrest.
As difficult as it was to resist the urge to call again, I wasn’t going to. She knew how to find me, knew how to get in touch. Because, in the end, she was the one who’d decided to go.
Opening my car door, I stepped onto the hot concrete and made my way into Trevor’s garage. Him storming out of dinner last night saying that it was all my fault didn’t sit well with me. I knew that I needed to patch things up with him before I could do anything else.
The garage door was open and I walked in. Classic rock blared on the radio’s speakers. It smelled of gasoline, and the concrete floor was slick with oil. Tires were stacked in the corner and his motorcycle was neatly parked in the adjacent bay.
Stepping closer, I took a look under the hood.
Trevor’s legs jutted out from beneath the car. He was busy working on his Mustang, not bothering to acknowledge my presence. But I knew he’d seen me enter. He saw everything. Kept an eye on everyone. It was what he did best—what he was trained to do.
Admiring the muscle Ford had packed into this car, Trevor continued to twist and bang underneath. I wondered how I was going to break the ice. Because if I knew anything about Trevor, he wasn’t going to be the one to do it.
Stepping to the side, I wasn’t here to make him do anything he didn’t want to do. I just wanted to make my peace—let him know that I was here for him. This whole thing with Cooper was already fracturing the family and it was going to get worse before it got better.
He slid himself out from under the car. Then he climbed up on his hands and knees before standing. I stepped to the side, letting him pass. He didn’t say anything, barely looking in my direction.
I followed him to the driver’s side where I watched him open the door, drop his large frame behind the wheel, and crank the engine over.
He applied more pressure with his foot and the walls began to shake. I couldn’t hear anything but the engine grumble and roar, and what a sweet sound it was. Soon, and without realizing it, I was smiling with how aw
esome his vehicle was.
My brother put everything into this car. It was his baby. His one true love. It was his escape from the torment we all knew he was feeling inside. The pressure from people looking at him differently, like he was someone other than the brother we’d grown up with. The man he was before he left to fight for his country.
Trevor turned the car off, and his heavy boots hit the ground as he moved to push me out of the way. I threw my hands up in surrender, backpedaling, not wanting to get in his way any more than I already had. He dove his head under the hood and began fiddling with a particular section of the engine. “Stupid thing has a leaky head gasket.”
I felt my lips tug at the corners.
This was a start, I thought. He was willing to talk, and it was all I could ask of him.
“Look, Trevor, about last night—”
His hands stopped working. Then he hung his head and closed his eyes. “Don’t worry about it.”
Stuffing my hands inside my pants pockets, I accepted his form of an apology as I turned and perused his shop. I picked up tools, browsed manuals, and made myself at home as he worked through his engine problems. And that was when my eyes landed on a bottle of whiskey.
Glancing over my shoulder, Trevor was cursing his car.
Slowly, I extended my arm and reached out, wrapping my fingers around the bottle’s neck. I sniffed it. The smell was strong enough to snap my head back, and as I thought about taking a snort of it myself, I was quickly reminded of the time—before noon.
Trevor stood back and took the rag off his shoulder. He cleaned his hands as I kept him from seeing what I was holding. “I had too much to drink. And I let Noah get under my skin.”
Twisting my spine, I turned on a heel. His car was freshly polished as it shined underneath the light. I nodded, thinking it looked good. “Too much to drink, huh?” I said, holding up the bottle of whiskey.
His eyes fell to the bottle. “Yeah, too much to drink.” He smiled.
